OF SMITH & MEN
By Jack Smith
(c) I960 Tlmes-Mlrror Syndicate
Psychologists say that if you
think you're losing your mind
you're probably as sound as
a nut.
In that case I have nothing
to fear. I should laugh at my
symptoms. But lately I've been
unnerved a couple of times.
When I went out on the
porch this morning for the
paper, the sun was over the
rooftops. I sat On the step
for a minute in my pajamas
and threw my head Back and
shut my eyes.
The sun warmed my eye
lids. I pulled up my pajama
legs to warm my kneecaps. I
smiled. I drank in great gulps
of morning air, windmilling
my arms, to improve my cir
culation. '
In this ecstasy I failed to
hear the approach of two
small girls coming up the
sidewalk on their way up the
hill to grammar school. I be
came aware of them only as
they were abreast of . the
porch.
"Thai's him!" said one. She
delivered this intelligence in
a stentorian whisper.
"It is?" whispered her com
panion. "He looks kookie, all
right."
"Sshh!" said the first girl.
They exploded in muffled
giggling and broke into a trot
up the hill.
So, I thought, I'm already
the neighborhood eccentric.
Kookie? I wasn't sure pre
cisely what that meant. But
I realized I was regarded as
kookie, whatever it meant,
and probably also a square,
whatever that meant.
I went back in the house
feeling gloomy. I was too
young to be the neighborhood'
dingbat. When I was a boy
that distinction was assigned
to veterans of the Civil War
or Teddy Roosevelt's Rough
Riders.
I put on my old straw hat
and lay down on the living
room couch to 'read the news
and shave.
"Why the hat?" my wife
said.
"Because," I explained,
"There's somebody in the
bathroom and I can't get in to
comb my- hear which keeps
falling down in my eyes so
I can't see to shave."
"Oh," she said. She went
in the kitchen, thinking. In a
moment she was back.
"But you're not using the
mirror to snave, she said.
"You're shaving with the elec
tric razor and reading with
your eyes.
I was utterly annoyed.
"How," I asked acidly, "can
I read when I haven't got my
glasses on?"
They try to make you think
you re crazy when you aren t.
Nevertheless, I brooded all
day about being thought
kookie by the new genera
tion.
Maybe this was on my mind
down at the office when,! put
a piece of paper in the type
writer and, not being able to
see what I was writing, put
on my earphone. I use the
earphone to take notes over
the telephone.
As soon as I had put on the
earphone I noticed that I
couldn't see any better. Then
I realized, of course, that what
I really had meant to do was
put on my glasses. I looked
about. Apparently nobody had
seen me.
I was pondering this lapse
of normal behavior when the
telephone rang. I was glad
enough for the distraction.
I took off the earphone and
put on my glasses and said
"Hello." The line was dead.
"Hello? Hello?" I repeated
Then I realized I had my
glasses on instead of my ear
phone. I looked quickly about. A
chap named Ames, who sits
nearby and keeps an eye on
me, was watching in speech
less fascination. I took off my
glasses and put on my ear
phone. "Hello!" I shouted. The
line was dead. They had hung
up.
I glanced toward Ames. He
gave me a small compassion
ate smile and looked away.
He seemed embarrassed.
I got up casually and went
to the water fountain to
sharpen a cigarett.
LANDSLIDES KILL SIX
Manizales, Colombia -IUPD-Landslides
caused by a cloud
burst in western Colombia
swept away six houses in Cal
das pr9vin.ee Monday night,
killing at least six and per
haps as many as lfi persons.
' fi ? i - F'4 Flwsf
PREPARED TO FIGHT Homeowners Jack Klein and his a lawn like every other Westlake lawn. Klein angrily corn
wife, Sally, stand in their yard in the Westlake subdivision pared The Organization with the Gestapo and the Soviets
o San Francisco, as they prepare to fight The Organization, and said he is going to take the matter to his attorney. He
The Organization Westlake Subdivision Improvement has has $300 invested in the ivy, and grass just will not grow in
given the Kleins until Dec. 25 to yank out their newly- the yard, he said.
planted ivy from their front yard. It must be replaced with (UPI Telephoto)
Board To Consider
Research Cenler
Portland - (UPD- The State
Board of Higher Education
said Tuesday it would consid
er at its January meeting a
proposal to place the Oregon
Forest Research Center at
Corvallis with Oregon State
college under the State Board
of Higher Education.
Board members generally
indicated' favorable response
to the proposal, made Monday
by members of the State For
est Protection and Conserva
tion committee. The commit
tee supervises the center.
The proposal would involve
action by the 1961 legislature.
Medford
Tribune
SECTION B MEDFORD, OREGON, WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 14, 1960 PAGES 1 to 12
Back Stairs: Elaborate Preparations
By WILLIAM J. EATON
Washington - (UPD - Back J
stairs at the White House:
President-elect John-F. Ken
nedy will benefit immediately
upon taking office from elab
orate emergency plans draft
ed by the White House staff
during the Eisenhower years.
Under the current set-up,
for example, the chief execu
tive can be whisked off the
White House lawn bv helicoD-
THE FACE IS
AMERICA...
THE TASTE IS
CANADA DRY
- 'ijtn. --d.tr M&.mX
3 I ffl imwi It Thls man is a 8uesL He 0011,11 be a 2uest
l.9l1Pn9 I I r iff 8M6ER At! SffvTvf GRAPEFRUIT
bdlldUd Uiy I g s
Club Soda Mi
in your home. He's enjoying the highball
you made with Canada Dry Club Soda. That
means he'll enjoy the entire evening. ..the
next day, too. Important points to remem
ber about Canada Dry Mixers. They make a
highball taste better. Blend smoothly with
the spirits, never dominate. They help you
feel better. Canada Dry's exclusive "Pin
Point Carbonation" curbs unhappy mornings-after.
Research proves it Always mix
your highballs with any Canada Dry Mixer.
Coast-to-coast-Canada Dry...
America's First Family of Beverages
ter within six minutes after
an alert is sounded.
Kennedy and his advisers
will also inherit a sheaf of
proclamations prepared for
use in case of an armed attack
or other war emergency.
One o the lealures - pro
visions for a 16-man press-
radio-TV pool to travel with
the president to a relocation
cenler was inserted into
plans at the insistence of
James C. Hagerly, press secre
tary to Eisenhower.
Hagerty was surprised to
learn that no provision had
been made for emergency
news coverage of the presi
dent during the Truman administration.
Uncooperative
Stars Nominated
Hollywood (UPD The Holly
wood Women's Press club has
announced it will resume
its policy of giving mythical
raspberry to uncooperative
stars and promptly nominated
five actors and actors.
Nominees as the most unco
operative actors this year
were Elvis Presley, James
Garner and Yul Brynner.
The actresses tabbed were
Marilyn Monroe and Debbie
Reynolds.
The club said nominees for
the 19th annual Golden Apple
awards to filmland's most co
operative stars were Roger
Smith, Jack Lemmon, Sandra
Dee, Nanette Fabray and
Janet Leigh.
Winners in both categories
will be announced Dec. 20.
The group said its "Sour Ap
ple" designation had been
dropped in 1955 and revived
this year.
Portland-IUPlt-The Portland
School Board has adopted a
tentative budget of $34.3 mil
lion for 1961-62 which would
include salary increases of
more than $1 million.
He proposed the pool sys
tem as a means of assuring
the American people, through
the familiar voices and names
of White House correspon
dents, that tho president was
safe and the government was
functioning.
It seems certain that the
Kennedy administration ' will
continue this policy.
Navy Capt. E. P. (Pete) Au
rand, the president's naval
aide, played a major role in
shaping the emergency plans.
The extensive use of heli
copters by the chief executive
on trips to Gettysburg, ' Pa.,
and to airports in Washington
gave on-the-job training to
crews which would be used
in a crisis situation.
To Assura Continuity
For that reason, White
House aides have suggested
that the president-elect desig
nate his military aides as soon
as possible to assure con
tinuity in this department.
Col. William G. Draper, Air
Force aide and White House
pilot, is leaving soon lor a
new assignment. He has been
flying the president around
the nation.
The Army aide, Col. Robert
Schulz, also served with the
Chief Executive before he
moved into the White House.
Special Duliei
Each of the aides has spec
ial duties in addition to his
ceremonial functions.
Draper is a pilot, Aunmd
coordinates emergency plans
and Schulz is the president's
man for such matters as buy
ing clothes and other personal
transactions. .
Traditionally, each of the
military services recommends
three top young officers for
the military aide positions.
Then the president makes the
final selection from that list.
Eisenhower, of course, had
long experience in the mili
tary field and brought Schulz
and Draper with him to Washington.
' iKL- la EASY
1 - "N
ifly all-new selection of
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HI-SPOT LEMON dUININE WATER
See "Walt Disney Presents" every week on ABC-TV Network
Bottled by Pepsi-Cola Bottling Company of Medford
A Reminder
Christmas cards mail
ed? All your shopping
finished? Packages
wrapped? Tree - trim
mings checked?
Well, take a deep breath, kick off your
shoes, relax and . . . oh-oh-wait a minute!
Check back over that list again. This won't
take long and it's well worth it.
Have you done somerhing about sharing
your blessings with those who have less?
Have you done what you can to see to it
that in this community on Christmas Day
there will be food for the hungry, remem
brances for the lonely and forgotten?
Support the Salvation Army Christmas Ap
peal. You make your own Christmas happier
by sharing if
MEDFORD MAIL TRIBUNE
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$ resistant, luminous
ja nanos ana aiai. jh.o
in
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Give a quality jewelod lever watch no gift is so wslcoma, none
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Merry Chrlstmases, give Bulova I
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We Give
, Green Stamps
OPEN FRIDAY AND ALL NEXT WEEK TILL 9 P.M.
3 STORES
Medford and
Yreka, C
y
Park & Shop
Lot at Our
Sack Entrance
218 E. Main
SP 2-2970