QUIPS
AND
QUOTES
All or Nothing at All
A husband's a gent that, if ever the house is
Aflame, isn't anything like what a mouse is.
He looks to your safety; he lugs out your chattels;
- He rescues the kitten. How bravely he battles
The blaze. But eat dinner by candlelight guttering?
Don't let the kids hear what Daddy is muttering!
A husband's that steely nerved valorous feller
Who'll crawl out at midnight to rout from the cellar
The burglar you're certain is doum there a-lurking.
But get up to see if the thermostat's working? -Oh,
who ever heard such an idiot notion
For though he's a pillar of strength and devotion,
A husband, dear lady, while good in the clinches, .
Refuses to do any dying by inches!
Ceorgie Starbuck Galbraith
Another thing most husbands never hear the end of is a wrestling match.
Giles H. Runy on
The young family had just moved
into the neighborhood and was
anxious to make a good-impression.
i But the neighbors seemed cold, and
they made no overtures of wel
come. The mother of the brood was
overjoyed when finally her young
est son ran in and announced hap
pily: "Mommy, the lady down the
street asked my name today!"
"Oh, how nice," exclaimed the
mother enthusiastically, "and then
what did she do?"
"Then she gave it to the police
man," the boy said.
A. W. Stinson
Some parents try to make their babies tuaifc when they are too young;
others are happy if they can stand alone by the time they're 21.
Dan Bennett
n
"Anticipating such a request, I have prevailed upon
the influential J. P. McPherson to give up a few moments
of his valuable time to act as my cosigner."
Two old friends met on the
street, one looking extremely crest
fallen. "It's been one of those bad
days," he explained mournfully.
"Why? I understood your busi
ness had improved."
"Yeh," the friend sighed, "but
this morning I went to the bank
to cash a $100 check, and the only
guy I could get to identify me was
one I owed $90."
Anna Herbert
Family Weekly, October 30, 1X0
Heinz Baby Foods open
with one easy turn!
1
. . . and only Heinz gives you glass jars
plus screw-on caps on all varieties!
Yes, all Heinz Strained and Junior Foods now have handy screw
on caps. So, no matter which of the many Heinz favorites you serve,
there's ....
1. No more wrestling a can
opener or storing unused
portions in open cans!
2. No more prying or
searching for a pry-off tool.
3. No more bent caps to
prevent safe reseating of un
eaten food.
All Heinz jars reseal airtight
just as easily as they open. This
means you can keep unused por
tions moist, fresh-tasting and rich
in precious vitamins and min
erals right down to the very last
delicious spoonful.
Both baby and you benefit
when you buy famous Heinz
Baby Foods. He enjoys tastier,
smoother treats, while you save
time and work! Why not switch
to Heinz for good?