Fothergill Mumble
and the Stepmother Tongue
The Queen to her English, the Greek to his Greek,
But Fothergill Mumble can speak Unique
And manage to make his meaning clear:
He combs his hair in front of a meer,
Likes litterchcr, fillums, and Hamburger hats,
A.nd Mongol dorgs and Aunt Cora cats.
He loves his children, as fits a popper,
And tells you Long-grin's his favert opper.
The Swedes speak Swedish, the French speak
French,
But Fothergill's wife got a henna wrench,
Which," to be candied, filled him with anguage
So cute it taxied his powers of langwich.
Geovgie Starbuck Galbraith
One sure way a girl can have a man eating out
of her hand is to hold the bag oj popcorn at a base
btilt game. Al Spong
"About 10 o'clock you kick Edith's shin, and I'll kick
Fred's. They'll leave early so they can quarrel."
The man who believes in 7iirc!os is the architect
who designs those all-glass school buildings.
Giles H. Ru7iyon
A much-married Hollywood leading man was
reported seriously ill. One of his ex-wives tele
phoned the actor's doctor. "Is it true? Is Heartford
really dying?"
The doctor admitted the screen idol was slipping
away. "Don't you think as his former wife I should
be at his bedside in these last moments?" the ex
asked mournfully.
"I think so," the doctor replied. "But you'd better
hurry all the best places already are taken."
Frances Benson
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