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DOES FATHER
REALLY KNOW BEST?
The son of a famous author wonders
if any father can guide his children wisely in this
fast-changing world; he finds the answer
in the one thing that never changes
By WILL OURSLER
I
n the darkness a child sleeps and a father in a
doorway watches.
It is a moment of tenderness and, in this instance,
a moment of pain. For the father is recalling a
bitter dispute with his daughter weeks before,
growing out of her budding teen-age "romance"
with a man eight years her senior.
She was only 14, this child who slept so peace
fully now as the father watched. She had been
so sure of herself, so sure she knew all the answers.
He had told her then as so many fathers have
had to do that he had to act in her best inter
ests, to guard her from whatever might harm her,
and she had cried out that she hated him.
"Sometimes we have to do unpopular things,"
he had said, "to protect those we love, because
they may be too young to understand. This is a
moment like that."
She had not understood or believed. She had
resented deeply his breaking up her "affair" with
this 22-year-old man. For a week she had hardly
spoken to her father.
But he had prevented anything serious or tragic
from happening. And now she had found a new
flame, a 16-year-old youth in the class ahead of
her in school, and the older man apparently was
forgotten.
Tonight he had heard her speak casually of him
as "that fellow I used to think was the only guy
in the world. Wasn't that the craziest?".
So he had been right in this instance, and yet,
as he stood watching, he felt also the loneliness
and helplessness of the parent in so many cases.
For the battle and the outcome and her resent
ment, or lack of resentment, were only shifting
aspects of today's curious warfare that is being
waged on the home front.
Today, home and family especially Dad ap
pear to be caught up in the whirlpool of modern
times, the swirling pt ce that is certainly unequalled
in all history.
Joe F. of a northern California suburb is a typi
cal example. He is almost 17. His father is a sound,
hard-working businessman. There is much love in
the family. No animosity, no real trouble.
But between Joe and Dad there is little in com
mon except concern. Joe doesn't work hard
enough, he is out too much, he takes on too many
school activities. When Dad talks about it, Joe
doesn't even listen.
Tonight he is out in the family car. All the lads
in the neighborhood take their family cars to
dances and parties. At 4 in the morning Joe is
calling his frantic parents.
Dad answers. Joe is SO miles away with the
crowd. He'll stay at a friend's a fellow named
Henry. "I've had a couple of drinks, Dad," he ad
mits. "I'd better not drive ..."
It is futile to argue. The boy shouldn't be out
this late, but it is safer to let the all-night party
go on than to let his son drive back.
And besides, everyone else in the neighborhood
has the same problem. None of them has solved it
Dad knows best? Sure. But who listens?
The principal of one of the top preparatory
schools in the East told me: "Certainly there is
a gap between the generations. Learning has
changed, education has changed, science has
changed, new concepts have come into being.
"Fathers we talk to are usually too busy mak
ing a living to keep up with the new methods, new
approaches, new discoveries.
"Dad is too busy paying the bills and keeping
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the family fed and clothed and housed properly."
"You've had your chance, Dad, you and your
generation," I recently heard one boy declare. "You
could have straightened everything out, but now
the world's in a worse mess than ever. Who knows
what's going to happen or why?"
To be sure, such an attitude does not mirror
every home. But almost all with sons or daughters
to worry over in these times know some aspect of
it. It is a symbol of the clash and uncertainty of
our age.
AH about us we see a triumph of confusion in
the midst of changing concepts; onrushing new dis
coveries of the mid-20th century universe seem to
say to our youngsters, "Forget this old fogie in
the armchair. The planets of outer space and civ
ilizations Dad never dreamed of are waiting."
But the hunger and the need and the bonds of
(Continued)
3122!
COVER:
Our cower girl, photographed by L. Will
inger of Shostal, thinks every day should
be Father's Day arid her dad seems to
like the idea. For some thoughtful redding
on this Father's Day, see the article above.
LEONARD S. DAVIDOW Pretidcnl and PnbtMer
WALTER C. DREYFUS Vita President
PATRICK E. OHOURKE Mdrcrlitino Director
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