Try and Stop Me
By BENNETT CERF
11 fES. S. OF STAMFORD hat a granddaughter who Is
A' going to go far. Mrs. S. was visiting the little girl in.
Her bedroom one evening, and was told, "Mommy and daddy
ore entertaining some
very important people
downstairs." "You're
quite right," agreed Mrs,
"but how did you
know?" "Just listen," ex.
plained the bright littla
irL "Mommy is laugh
ing at all of daddy'ai
Jakes." J
"U
X government official tnft
Washington took his 12. i
year-old daughter to the '
Snovieg. Suddenly he no-
iv--ea ana was cnewing gum.
"WhflTO AA tmn
tie demanded, "Under the seat," she replied.
An angry contributor to a very respectable and crisis-conciou
literary weekly defined "honorarium" as a J100 word AtiizatA la
siress up a S25 editorial fee." 10
196 by Bennett Cert DJsMlmfca !y King Features Spittcst
i2e in
Washington Report
By WILLIAM S. WHITE
UPS AND DOWNS
Washinglon-Vice President
Richard Nixon is settling back
with wry calm to last out
""1 what he knows
is likely to be
a series of
dips in the
'4 graph of his
p r esidential
ambitions.
He is like
a good poker
player who
finAc 4U 1-
U'1111-.m. G illlMO IIIC talus
white ' suddenly
stacked against him. He fig
ures his luck is bound to turn
and so he is by no means des
perate. And he knows that
you can't ever win a pot un
less you keep staying in. But
he also knows that when your
luck is momentarily out you
play your hands with great
care. This is definitely not the
kind of night on which you
try to fill inside straights.
The vice president does not
for a moment delude himself.
He is fully aware that he has
had some poor-to-bad breaks
lately and that there probab
ly will be more befirp the
turn comes.
IRONICALLY, he is to some
extent the victim of his own
earlier good fortune. The fact
that he is-officially at least
unopposed for the GOP presi
dential nomination is a mixed
blessing. It would be danger
ous to act as though it already
were in the bag. So he must
walk softly.
He is having to keep all
openly "political" activity to
the absolute minimum. This
means that the national spot
light, for now and for some
week ahead, is nowhere near
his vicinity. It has been play
ing hotly on the man the Nix
on people now believe will be
his Democratic antagonist for
the presidency, Senator John
F. Kennedy of Massachusetts.
It may well stay beamed in
that direction for a while to
come.
For example, the latest Gal
lup poll presents Kennedy as
leading Nixon In the nation
by 53 per cent to 47 per cent
a reflection, the vice president
thinks, of Kennedy's rarely
rivaled blaze of national pub
licity.
Again, Nixon's status as the
more-or-less designated suc
cessor to President Eisen
hower puis other restraints on
the vice president. Mr. Eisen
hower is going to be out of the
country a good while in his
summit diplomacy. This means
Nixon must stay here to mind
the store. And while he will
be doing important things in
this period they will not be of
the big-headline variety.
TUNALLY. President Eisen
" hower has much diluted his
earlier seeming all out en
Hnrompnt nf Nixon. The Pres
ident's auhspauent comment
that he would not have given
unh an endorsement in the
first place if the vice president
had not been the only Repub
lican candidate in sight has
not been helpful -to ivixon.
nhvinnslv and unarguable
it has given some encourage
ment to tnose nepuDiicans
who still hope to oring 011 a
.a.iianiiai "rimft" for Gov
ernor Nelson Rockefeller of
New York. (This one estimate
is strictly this correspondent's;
it should not be attributed to
Vivnn 1
Actually, the Nixon peo
Is not so much
that the current polls will be
hurtful in the election itself.
Before this the vice president
has gone down in the polls
only to - climb high again.
What really bothers them is
that every time the smallest
Nixon weakness is indicated
before the GOP convention
the Rockefeller partisans will
seize on it to renew the chant
Nixon can't win."
rpHE vice president, in a
a- word, is not so much afraid
of the Democrats in the elec
tion. He is more concerned
about what may be done by
other Republicans to exploit
against him anything unfavor
able that may happen from
now to convention time.
There is nothing remotely
approaching panic here. Nixon
is a cool and steady-handed
gambler politically. He is,
rightly or wrongly, perfectly
confident that he will come
through in the end. But in the
meantime, he has his prob
lems, not with his own morale
but with that of his workers.
They clamor to him: "You
must get out and get busy."
He replies in effect: "It's just
the way the ball bounces
now. Take it easy. I'll be 'out
there'-and plenty 'busy'-
when the tune comes.
(Copyright, 1960. by United
Feature Syndicate, Inc.)
VACCINATION DAY
Washington -UPD- President
Eisenhower called on Ameri
cans Monday to make April 12
a new kind of V-day-vaccin-
ation day," for vaccine shots
against polio. April 12 is the
date on which a celebrated
polio victim-President Frank
lin D. Roosevelt-died in 1945.
It also marks the fifth anni
versary of the announcement
of an effective polio vaccine.
OLDEST POLICEMAN DIES
New York -IITD- Retired In
spector Robert Emmett Doo-
ley, 100, believed the oldest
former policeman in the city,
died Sunday.
In the Day's News
By FRANK JENKINS
From Washington:
The success of the Tiros
satellite in sending back pic
tures from outer space is
greater than expected. The
spectacular photographs re
ceived from it make it clear
the U.S. could use the satel
lite TO SPOT RUSSIAN MIL
ITARY MOVES as well as to
detect weather disturbances.
INTERESTING?
QUITE so-but here's the
other side of the coin:
If we can use a satellite to
spy on Russian military
moves, the Russians can use
a similar satellite to spy on
OUR military moves.
That leaves it horse and
horse.
e
fTTVi
7V' Great VV
straight...
superb in
.mixed drinks! .
IV
CORONET
VSQ
ft
rv 1
BRANDY DIST CORP, 3SO FIFTH AVE, H.f.
CALIF GRAPE BRANDY, 84 PROOF
August W. Glutsch, O.D. Williom J. Thompson, O.D.
Richard D. Nelson, O.D.
announce the removal of their office
to the ,
MEDFORD VISION CLINIC
Optomertrtitt
THE MALL - 1005 EAST MAIN STREET
MEDFORD
Telephone SPrlnt 2-4001
QUESTION:
Is war getting too com
plex for. human understand
ing?. Let's be serious for a mo
ment. The last best hope of
earth is that in this nuclear
age war will become so com
plex and so menacing that
mankind will have the com
mon horse sense to call it off,
BACK to our newest satel
lite, which we call Tiros.
Whence the name?
It's more alphabet stuff.
The name is made up of the
initial letters of the words
Television Infra-Red Observa
tion Satellite-T-I-R-O-S.
Cute, isn't it?
WHENCE the infra-red?
It comes from infra-red
rays, which are given off by
hot bodies. These infra-red
rays are not hot in them
selves, but they produce heat
when they strike matter.
That is too say:
When the Russkies blast off
a missile, its flaming exhaust
will send out infra-red rays
which will be intercepted by
our Tiros spying around out
there in space and the news
will be flashed to us that the
commies are up to something
-presumably something that
bodes us no good.
Vice-versa when WE blast
off a missile.
SHUCKS!
This is getting too tech
nical. Let's get back to something
more familiar.
IN WASHINGTON, Oregon's
Senator Morse blasts off
again.
The object of his blast is a
proposal to give, rent-free, to
the Congressional Wives club
a 99-year lease on a four-acre
parcel of government land on
swank Embassy Row, one of
the swankest neighborhoods
of swank Washington. The
tract is estimated to be worth
Democrats Liked
In Latin America
Caracas. Venezuela - C?D -Adlai
Stevenson, winding up
a two-month tour south of the
border, said Monday night he
wished Latin Americans could
vote in the coming U. S. pres
idential election.
"I personally have liked the
people I've met on this trip
and I think they've liked me,
but what's more important is
that they all like the Demo
cratic Party," the twice-defeated
Democrat said. "I wish
they'd come up and vote in
November."
Odessa, Tex. - (UPB - Dr.
Murry H. Fly, 73, president
of Odessa College since 1948,
died at his home Monday.
at least a half million dol
lars. The club proposes to use
the land, which is owned by
the National Park Service, as
the site of a swank new $350,
000 clubhouse.
Senator Morse calls it a
"shakedown of the taxpay
ers," and contends that if the
congressional wives want to
use it they should pay rent
on it for the full 99-year pe
riod of the lease and the rent
should be based on the value
of the land.
SENATOR Morse is often
wrong.
This time, he's RIGHT.
Let's pat him on the back.
Annual Boy Scout Dinner
Held at St. Mark's Church
Approximately 150 persons
attended the annual charter
dinner of Boy Scout Troop 8
and Explorer Post 8 held last
week at guild hall of St.
Mark's Episcopal church.
Guests included Col. W. H.
Paine, Mrs. Winifred Vail, the
Rev. and Mrs. George R. V.
Bolster, the Rev. and Mrs.
Duane Alford, Mr. and Mrs.
Darl Gleed, Mr. and Mrs.
George Brennan, Dr. William
H. Roberts, Mr. and Mrs. Jud
son Compton and J. A. Mo
Dougall.
Troop 8 and Post 8 are both
sponsored by St. Mark's Epis
copal church .
Elwood Hedberg Is scout
master assisted by Bob Frick.
Bob Bennett is senior patrol
leader assisted by Larry
Humphreys. Steve Davis is
scribe.
Troop committees include
William Edwards, institution
al representative; W. L. War
ren, chairman; E. D. Davis,
vice chairman; Charles Shinn,
treasurer; Lewis Conger,
transportation and outdoor
activities; Harry Barneburg,
advancement; Carl Bennett,
publicity, and P. G. Humph
reys and Ed Glover, members
at large.
After the dinner a Court of
Honor was held. Awards were
given.
Harry Barneburg assisted
by boys of Troop 8 put on the
Tenderfoot Investiture for
Ronald Darby and James
Douglas. Second Class Scouts,
Jesse Warren and Mike Titus
were presented their awards
by P. G. Humphreys. Harry
Barneburg presented Star
Scouts. Tom LeFaive. Bob
Bennett, Larry Humphreys
and Steve Davis the.r
awards.
Life Scouts, Joe LeFr've
and Richard Knight received
their awards from George
Brennan. The Eagle Gold
Palm Award was presented to
Jerry Swartsley by Judson
Compton.
E. D Davis presented Merit
Badge Awards to Eddie And
ren, Tom LeFaive, Steve Da
vis, Bob Bennett, Larry
Humphreys, Joe LeFaive, and
Richard Knight. Perfect at
tendance awards to Steve
Swartsley, 4th year, and Tom
LeFaive, 3rd year, were pre
sented by Lewis Conger.
Service Star
Carl Bennett presented
Service Star awards to Carl
Funk, Mike Titus, Ward Con
ger, Paul Hartsook, Jim Knox,
MAIL TRIBUNE, Medford, Or.
Tuesday, Apill S, 1960
Steve Shinn, and Doug Bieg
ler, one year; Larry Humph
reys, Bob Bennett, and Steve
Davis, two years: Tom Le
Faive, three years: and Steve
Swartsley, four years.
McDougall presented the
charters to Edwards who in
turn presented them to the
chairmen of Troop 8 and Post
Grange News
Upper Rogue
The next meeting of the Up
per Rogue Grange will be
Thursday, April 7, at 8 p.m.
Saturday, April 9, a March
of Dimes dance will be held
at the Grange hall. Both
square and round dancing
will be held and Danny Nelll,
Medfnrd. will be the caller.
Refreshments will be served.
REGISTER TODAY
To Vote in May
All Unregistered Voters in
Jackson Co. May Register at
Big Y.
Pd. Pol. Adv. Art Lewis.
SWIM!
Women's Beginning Swim
10 LESSONS - TUESDAYS & THURSDAYS
Starting April 5-7:30 P.M. Dutch Forfan, Instructor
FREE for members $10.00 per non members
Women's Intermediate Swim
10 LESSONS - TUESDAYS & THURSDAYS
Starting April 5-8:30 P.M. Dutch Farfan, Instructor
FREE for members $10.00 per non members
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