Medford mail tribune. (Medford, Or.) 1909-1989, February 28, 1960, Image 4

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    I MAIL TRIBUNE, Madronf. Or.
'A Sunday, Feb. 28, 1960
"Everyone in Southern Oregon
Keaas xne Man lTioune"
Published Dally except Saturday by
DIUKD FKUNT1NQ CO.
13 North Fir St, Ph SP2-141
ROBERT W. RUHL. Editor
HERB GREY Advertising Manager
GERALD T LATHAM. Bus. Mgr.
ERIC W. ALLEN JR.. Mng. Editor
EARL xi ADAMS, city Editor
HARRY CHTPMAN. Teles. Editor
RICHARD JEWETT. Sports Editor
OLIVE STARCHER, Women's Editor
PALE ERICKSON. Circulation Mgr
An Indeoendent Newspaper
Entered as second class matter at
Meafora. ore nan, unaer Act ox
March 3. 1S97
SUBSCRIPTION RATES
By Mail In Advance. Copy 10c
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Daily and Sunday 8 mos. 8.00
Daily and Sunday S mos. 4.25
Sunday Only One year $420
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All Terms Cash in Advance
' Official Paper of City of Medford
Official Paper of Jackson County
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NEWSPAPER
Biini icutac
ASSOCIATION
NATIONAL EDITORtAI
ASCrfATlToiN
Righto' Time
Medford and Jackson County
History from the files of The
Mail Tribune 10, 20. 30, 40
and 50 years ago.
10 YEARS AGO
Fab. 28. 1950 (Tuesday)
, The city building depart
ment receives application for
a permit to erect six duplex
apartments on J st., at a cost
of $65,000.
At tonight's city planning
commission meeting there will
be a hearing regarding set
back lines on property at 10th
at and Oakdale ave., where a
seven-story apartment build
ing is planned.
20 YEARS AGO
Fab. 28. 1940 (Wednesday)
Hie most . serious flood
threat since 1927 endangers
Rogue valley; Bear creek ris
ing and threatens several city
homes.
From Arthur Perry's "Ye
Smudge Pot" column: "There
has been a slight decline in
the Confucius Say business.
One citizen reports yesterday,
he only heard 100 of them -82
for the tenth time."
SO YEARS AGO
Fab. 28. 1930 (Friday)
Park experts produce plans
for parkways along Bear
creek.
Census shows there are
0,696 pupils in Jackson coun
ty public schools.
40 YEARS AGO
Fab. 28, 1920 (Sunday)
The top of Roxy Ann has
been staked out for oil claims.
Hood River apple growers
made average of $1.10 per box
last year.
50 YEARS AGO
Fab. 28, 1910 (Monday)
Ladies of Greater Medford
club hoping to do something
about lack of decent hotel
accommodations in Medford,
Two Milwaukie, Wise, de
tectives arrive in Medford to
take prisoner home; man had
lived here five years before
being caught
What's Your I.Q.?
Nina ar ten correct is superior;
van or eight is excellent; five or
tlx is good.
-
1. What Italian city has
been called the Bride of the
Adriatic?
2. Do stones grow?
3. What American writer
and lecturer lost her sight,
hearing and speech at the age
of 19 months?
4. In what Virginia city is
the College of William and
Mary?
5. What was Patrick Hen
ry'f profession?
6. What is a derringer?
7. Is Bismarck the capital
or North Dakota, or of South
Dakota?
8. Senator Wayne Morse
represents which state in the
U.S. Senate?
9. In what sport did Bobby
Jones gain fame?
10. Which is the larger In
area-Alaska or Texas?
- Answers: 1. Venice. 2. No.
3. Helen Keller. 4. Williams
burg. Va. 5. Lawyer. 6. Small
pocket pistol. 7. North Dako
ta. 8. Oregon. 9. Golf. 10.
Alaska.
t
"...Do Our Duty...
Lincoln's birthday, which is the usual time for
articles about him to appear, was a couple of
weeks ago.
But yesterday was the 100th anniversary of an
event in the life of Abraham Lincoln which
changed his life, and as a result changed the
course of history of the United States.
The event was his
Union in New York City on Feb. 27, 1860. It
was a turning point in his career, for it gave him
national prestige, and a
snip of the younger elements of the new .Republi
can party.
IN HIS TALK he took
1 extension of slavery
West, then in the process of settlement.
At that time his thinking was that slavery,
i. t T 1 J 1 t
wnere it aireaay exisiea, wouia nave to De tol
erated, but it could not be permitted to expand,
as southern leaders wished.
Only later did he become convinced that slav
ery would have to be abolished everywhere. This,
of course, was one of the great issues which led
to the Civil War a few years later, and ultimately
to the Emancipation proclamation.
.
THE ISSUE of the expansion of slavery was a
crucial and divisive one 100 years ago, and
even then Lincoln's massive courage and integrity
were evident m ms cooper union speecn.
i ! r
Parts of that talk have become much auoted
not, perhaps, as famous as the Gettysburg ad
dress, but certainly among the best-known state
ments of the 16th President
For instance :
"... Let us not be slandered from our duty by
false accusations against us, nor frightened from it
by menaces of destruction to the government . . . Let
us have faith that right makes right; and in that faith
let us, to the end, dare to do our duty as we under
stand it."
A lift.lp mnrp nf this
would be welcome today at various levels of
government. Hi.A.
Civilized
We heard a speaker,
other day about "Rural
Society."
He didn't say much
ested observers of society didn't know before, but
he put a lot of facts about the changes in rural
life into perspective in a
ize just how big and widespread the change has
been.
- The distinctions which once made city and
rural life almost completely different have almost
vanished. Only a few differences, and these seem
to be chiefly those of attitude, remain.
COR ONE THING, the percentage of rural dwel-
lers who make their living from the soil, farm
ers, in other words, has sharply decreased, while
the number of retired people and commuters who
earn their livings in town
try, has gone way up.
Automobiles and good roads are, of course,
the principal causes of this change.
But good rural mail service, radio and tele
vision, the ready availability of books, magazines
and newspapers, have
change.
THE INCREASED ease
that trip to town a casual affair, not a once-a-week
or once-a-month event to be looked for
ward to. Country people can, and do, participate
in the cultural and recreational activities which
once were enjoyed only by those in the town or
city.
The same mobility has decreased the country
dwellers dependence on
bors, and today he is just as apt to belong to a
civic or fraternal organization as he is to the
Grange, say.
In short, the old jokes about the "country
hick" and the "city slicker" have lost their point
because they no longer
We know some folks who live in the country
who are a darn sight "slicker" than most city
people. ju.a.
Heart Sunday
Today is Heart Sunday.
During the day, some 400 people will be work
ing in the county, soliciting contributions to the
Heart Fund.
Contribute if you can, and if you wish. But
even if you can't, remember these are unpaid
volunteers, doing a job for what they believe is
an important cause.
OEART DISEASE is the leading cause of
1 death in this nation, and will remain so until
more research has been completed.
Research takes money. And the money you
give today will help pay for it.
Progress has been made paid for with the
some $40 million contributed to the Heart Fund
during the past 12 years. But much more remains
to be done until the ailments of the heart, which
now take such a tremendous toll of life and well-
being each year, can be conquered to a point
where they no longer constitute the most signifi
cant medical problem in the nation. E.A.
99
famous speech at CooDer
firm grip on the leader
a strong stand against the
into the territories of the
TT T
miirnce anrl intoon'tv
Boondocks
a sociologist, talk the
Life in a Changing
of anything which inter
way that made one real
while living in the coun
all contributed to the
of mobility has made
his immediate neigh
apply.
Dennis the
THE? THINS I LIKE 8ESTA80uT FROSC IS THE KEEP 6IRLSWM'.
Matter of Fact
DIAGNOSING MR. K.
Washington The best
American analysts of Soviet
behavior are now forecasting
a rough,
stormy, and
dangerous
meeting at the
summit.
This is be
cause Nikita
S. Khrushchev
has lately
been telling
all and sun-
joseph alsop dry that he is
not going to be distracted
from talking about Berlin by
discussions of other topics,
such as disarmament. He has
also given numerous indica
tions that he is unwilling to
go on merely talking about
Berlin for an indefinite pe
riod, at a whole succession of
meetings at the summit. Be
fore long, he keeps hinting,
he will have to act.
Much more light will be
shed on Khrushchev s real in
tentions by his behavior in
Paris, during his visit to Gen.
de Gaulle next month. Per
haps the present reading of
the signs will then be re
versed. One can only hope so,
for there will be some breath
lessly tense moments if Khru
shchev really means to offer
President Eisenhower and the
other Western leaders the
choice between giving him
what he wants at Berlin dur
ing the summit conference, or
stopping him from taking
what he wants after the con
ference ends.
.
IT may be, of course, that
Khrushchev only means to
make the Western leaders
think that this is the choice
which confronts them. He is
in an ideal situation, after all,
to test the nerves of the West
to the uttermost limit with
out exposing or committing
himself in the least. On the
basis of all the evidence pro
duced by the test of nerves,
he can then decide whether or
no to risk unilateral action
at Berlin. .
In any case, it now appears
probable that Khrushchev
will use the tactic of intimida
tion instead of the tactic of
sweet reasonableness in the
crucial next round of the un
ending Berlin crisis. This is
not surprising, either, when
you consider how much he
has already gained, by using
the tactic of intimidation in
the eariler rounds.
He precipitated the crisis
in November, 1958, by sud
denly roaring that the perfect
ly tranquil, long unaltered
situation in Berlin was "in
tolerable," and threatening to
use force to make his own im
provements. By these roars,
he soon obtained Western
agreement to negotiate about
Berlin, despite the fact that
Today Cr Tomorrow
By Walter
THE TRAVEL HABIT
Mr. Robert Lovett, who has
been Secretary of Defense and
Under Secretary of State, is
one of the
very ablest
public offi
cials of our
times. It is a
reflection on
the way we
run the gov
ernment that
he was allow-
or) n oer-ana
Walter 7 ttT V"
Lippmann irom Wash
ington and take refuge in a
banking house in Wall Street.
But on Tuesday he came
back to testify before Sena
tor Jackson's Sub-Committee
on the policy-making machin
ery of the government. It is
plain even from the incom
plete reports which are avail
able that watching Washing
ton from a distance, he has
had a hard time holding on to
himself. On Tuesday he let
himself go.
The result was an explo
Menace
By Joseph Alsop
the allegedly "intolerable"
Berlin situation was solemnly
guaranteed by the Kremlin's
own pledges and was perfect
ly satisfactory to the West.
THE ensuing, protracted
Foreign Ministers' meeting
at Geneva met and ran its
whole course in the drumfire
of Khrushchev menaces. For
him, the conference served
the useful purpose of disclos
ing the Western allies' first
"fallback" position. When he
had gained this valuable in
formation, Khrushchev called
the Geneva rally to grind to
a halt, still without with
drawing his ministers. And by
this simple device, he ob
tained his invitation from
President Eisenhower to visit
the United States.
In this country, for once In
a day, he had to do something
more than shout threats to get
what he wanted next. He was
forced to promise the Presi
dent that there would be no
time-deadline for action on
the Berlin problem. In this
very limited way, he had to
say that his Berlin demands
did not constitute an ultima
tum to the West. But for this
minor concession he obtained
consent to the forthcoming
summit meeting. And he also
obtained a major dividend
that he perhaps did not ex
pect, in the form of an acute
attack of euphoria infecting
many of the highest American
policy-makers.
Unfortunately, a specified
time-deadline is by no means
a necessity for the more in
genious users of ultimatums.
If you can make your adver
sary believe you are going to
take the action he fears before
very long, you do not have to
be explicit about the date. The
atmosphere of ultimatum is
more important than the lan
guage. Indeed, if the atmos
phere exists, the document it
self can be quite unnecessary.
.
IIHAT Khrushchev now
" seems to be doing is cre
ating the atmosphere of ulti
matum, in preparation for the
summit meeting in May. A? of
today, moreover, this appears
to be an exceedingly shrewd
thing to do. The Western al
lies, after 15 long months of
looking at the ugly Berlin
problem, have not yet agreed
on what to do about the prob
lem if worst comes to worst.
The divergences are bound to
deepen as Western apprehen
sions mount.
This can probably be pre
vented, or even if not prevent
ed it will matter decisively, if
President Eisenhower quickly
asserts his leadership with
iron firmness. But as yet, no
such Presidential self-asser
tion seems to be in prospect,
(c) 1960 New York Herald
Tribune Inc.
Lippmann
sion of pungent criticism
which had none of the tired
monotony of a ghost-written
statement. Mr. Lovett dealt
with the general complacency,
with the role of the Budget
Bureau, with the making of
political speeches by defense
officials and with the travels
of the Secretary of State.
rpHE Secretary of State, said
Mr. Lovett should stay at
home and run his department
To handle international ne
gotiations and meetings there
should be created, he sug
gested, a new Cabinet officer
to be called the Minister of
Foreign Affairs.
This new official would be,
presumably, subject to the or
ders of the Secretary of State
or to orders of the President
acting with the advice of the
Secretary of State. If the Min
ister of Foreign Affairs were
not under orders, he and not
the Secretary would be run
ning the Department of State.
But If the Minister of For
Communications
Letters to the Editor must bear the name and address of the writer,
although under certain circumstances the use of a pen name or initial
for publication Is permissible. The Mail Tribune reserves the right to
edit all letters with a view to clarification and condensation. Letters
submitted for publication must not exceed 400 words. The letters
printed in this column do not necessarily represent the views of the
paper; in fact the contrary is often
Who To Believe
To the Editor: Your editor
ial, "Who to Believe," in
Wednesday! Mail Tribune,
brings to mind some Bible
texts bearing on this subject
One, found In 1 Thess. 5:21,
commands to "prove all
things, hold fast that which is
good." Another in Matt. 7:16-18-"Ye
shall know them by
their fruits." Surely not the
least of the blessings of the
Hereafter will be the univer
sal existence of Truth, to the
complete exclusion of our
present accumulation of con
fusing opinions and preju
dices on every subject. Since
each of us is to be judged by
the Book, made available to
all, should not each read it
for himself, not depending
wholly upon the ministry of
others for its message to us?
In the field of Nutrition, I
have proved, and held fast to,
some of the theories set forth
which have been of benefit
healthwise.
Certainly in Politics a voter
should, before voting, make
every effort to intelligently
inform himself as to capabil
ities and objectives of .candi
dates or tackle the alternative
of being able to recognize the
distinguishing characteristics
of "reliable people to be
lieve." My thanks for your thought
provoking editorial.
Dorothy Swan,
L. B. Star Route, Box 55,
Eagle Point, Ore.
Lucky Svede
To the Editor: I received an
anonymous letter from some
one in Prospect I like to re
ceive letters from people in
Prospect, Trail and Shady
Cove, for in my story, three
million miles in a taxi cab,
there were many things hap
pened in and around these
towns.
This letter says: "CAT! You
had it made when you went
to high school in the Brush
automobile."
"MAN! You was playin it
reet, reet, reel."
"LIKE MAN! You made it
under the wire when you
went to high school."
"You vas vun uf der lucky
Svedes."
Ven Aye traded my 1910
streamlined veelbarrow for
yust vun 1902 Brush automo
bile, Aye vusn't so lucky. Ve
didn't have no garage, und ve
didn't have a top on the car.
Ve had to keep the car in der
barn.
Did you ever try to park a
vun cylinder car in a barn
with vun cow, und vun horse,
who yust never vunce seen
yust vun automobile? Aye had
to blindfold der cow and give
der horse tranquilizer pills.
Aye could valk to school in
eign Affairs is No. 2 and the
Secretary remains No. 1, then
the Minister is in substance
no more than a roving Am
bassador. He will not in fact
be the equal of the other For
eign Ministers at internation
al meetings, no matter what
his title and where he sits
at official dinners.
Thus while I believe Mr
Lovett's diagnosis is correct
and long overdue, we shall
have to look further for the
remedy.
THERE is a good deal to be
said for having a roving
Ambassador, perhaps several
roving Ambassadors to deal
with regional questions. But I
do not believe we can expect
a roving Ambassador, even if
he is called Minister of For
eign Affairs, to be a substi
tute for the Secretary of State
at international meetings. On
serious questions foreign gov
ernments will insist upon
talking directly with the mak
ers of policy. If the American
makers of policy will not go
abroad to see their peers, the
Foreign Ministers will prob
ably come to Washington to
see them.
Much of modern diplomacy
is conducted at the summit by
the heads of governments or
near the summit by Ministers
of Foreign Affairs, and the
habit, once it is formed, is
hard to break. If foreign gov
ernments, or for that matter
Congress, get used to talking
to five-star generals, they will
not want to talk to two-star
generals.
This habit of negotiating at
the highest possible level was
formed during the Second
World War. Roosevelt and
Churchill ran the Western al
liance by direct contact and
through special intermedi
aries like Harry Hopkins.
They dealt with the global
war by direct contact with
Stalin, who was the absolute
master of the Soviet Union.
This habit became an ad
diction under John Foster
Dulles, who was recognized
in the world as being not
merely the Secretary of State,
but in fact the custodian of
the
15 minutes, but vy should
Aye valk ven Aye could get
out of bed at 5 am., und crank
my vey to high school in yust
three hours?
Ven Aye got der engine
started at 8 a.m., der old cow
vent out through der back uf
der barn, der horse vent out
der vindow, Aye never knew
where der Brush vas going
out, und Aye never knew
vere Aye vas going out. Aye
yust vent out und tvice Aye
almost vent there.
Everett Acklin,
Ashland, Ore.
Lincoln Oddessy
To the Editor: "What hap
pened?" has been asked of
my Lincoln Day pilgrimage.
So here tiz. Parking near the
RJt. depot, now so lonely-
looking but once the connect
ing link of local and outside
world folk and affairs, we
checked in at the police sta
tion, leaving with a friendly,
"So glad you called Mr. Lin
coln. Good luck."
Stopping in at a drug store
with a most friendly Mr. Lin
coln greeting and asking for
the apothecary, the young
lady seemed a bit non-plussed,
replying "The druggist is out,
perhaps Mr. so-and-so can
help you." But young Mr. So-and-so
took a serious view of
my request for a remedy for
tiz-ik.' "Why-a," he think
ingly answered. "The term
now-a-days for that is laxa
tive." Feminine giggles around
the counter-corner, which we
joined in, relieved the much-too-serious
air. But the next
human ' ailment dispensary
was still more austere-like.
The prescription-man seemed
to want no truck with apothe
cary, or tiz-ik' either, as he
coldly advised to get a physi
cian's prescription. To a hint
what tiz-ik' was like, he re
ferred me to a cough-medicine
cabinet and to make my own
selection and follow direc
tions. And that was that.
Dropping in at a book-store,
we were greeted with
hearty, "Why Mr. Lincoln, so
glad you came, we were hop
ing for something of this kind
today." To inquiry as to the
blind Milton's labor in getting
his reluctant daughters to fin
ish writing his famed Para
dise Lost, so much used by
Lincoln, the saleswoman hap
pily reported it in stock.
But the high light of all
came when a small boy, sixth
grade or so, stopped me with
lifted arm to gravely shake
hands, telling of their Lincoln
day program. It was the one
time we wished for a picture,
as it was so typical of the
humble Lincoln's way with
small fry.
At another drug-store, the,
er, apothecary had no tum
tum on my tiz-ik, but promis-
the President's powers in for
eign affairs. Ever since his
time an international meeting
is not an international meet
ing unless it is attended by
the President or the Secretary
of State.
TF there is a remedy for
this inefficient system, it
will have to come, I think,
through a breaking of the
habit and from a re-education
in the way international af
fairs are conducted. As we
realize that the President can
not go everywhere and still be
in fact the Chief Executive,
that the Secretary of State
cannot go to every meeting
and still run his department,
we shall have to carry on
much of our international
business at lower levels. We
are now suffeing from a con
gestion at the top, accompa
nied by the downgrading of
the Ambassadors and a ne
glect of the normal channels
of diplomacy.
My own view is that a Pres
ident and a Secretary could
break the habit if they were
resolute about it. They should
make attendance at interna
tional meetings a rare, not a
commonplace, occu r r e n c e.
They should swear off on this
continual round of travel.
Even in the most difficult
case, which is that of the So
viet Union, it might not be im
possible to open up better
channels of communication
than those which are now
used. Did we make fuU use
of the opportunity afforded
by the visits to this country
of Mikoyan and Kozlov, or for
that matter of the visit of
Nixon to Moscow?
It may be that we have
done as well as it is possible
to do in dealing with the So
viet Union. But surely we can
help ourselves in dealing with
our allies. Surely we can in
duce them to believe that they
must not measure our interest,
our loyalty, our friendship, by
the amount of traveling which
our highest officials are able
to do.
(c) 1960 New York Herald
Tribune Inc.
pTILUCEt
(By M-T Staff and Contributors)
Last week's Potluck col
umn was written several days
in advance, and had some
faintly jocular things to say
about staff members and
small foreign cars.
Well, as readers of various
sections of the paper have
learned, the staff has one
fewer small foreign car-and
darn near one fewer report
er. And all this in the time
between the time the column
was written and the time
when it was printed.
But he survived, and is
now considering buying an
other small foreign car-
smaller than the last one.
even. A glutton for punish
ment, if we ever saw one.
If this process continues.
you may see a reporter riding
along on a motor scooter one
of these days.
The reporter has taken
two sorts of beating as a
result of his accident-the
physical beating of the
crash itself, and the verbal
bearing from his fellow
workers who can't resist
kidding him about even so
serious a matter as a near
fatal automobile accident
One good thing anyway, he
claims, is the fact that his
bandage comes off his face
Monday, and his black eye
is better, so maybe nice old
ladies will stop looking sus
piciously at him as he walks
down the street
Since he was on assign
ment at the time of the acci
dent, we can expect him to
put in an expense account for
his trip. But we sort of won
der whether our sharp-eyed
bookkeeper will approve the
"preliminary estimate" he
provided us for his month's
expenses.
This list includes such
things as "wear and tear on
head, $500," and "wear and
tear on nerves, $10,000."
The one which intrigued us
most, however, was this one:
"Cost of missing dates Sun
day and Monday (with two
different girls)-$500."
We hope the young ladies,
whoever they may be, are
gratified to know their com
pany is appraised at $250
each, per evening.
One thoughful observer
of the passing scene (a Re
publican, incidentally) was
reading about some of the
ed to brief up on it. So we
helped by mentioning the old
spelling-bee catch-word was,
phthisic. He followed us to
the door, urging to be sure
and stop at what appeared
his boom competitor up the
street and report what hap
pened.
F. J. Clifford
Route 2, Box 200F
Central Point. Ore.
Approves Sterilization
To the Editor: The sterili
zation program proposed by
Mr. Hatfield will probably be
the cause of a whole flurry of
opposition, but I believe it is
the best plan so far suggested.
I know of at least three
families on one street in Med
ford, all on welfare, all with
six or seven children, some
not with the same fathers, and
still producing more. These
women are more animal than
human. Their offspring don't
stand much chance in life,
and the taxes it takes to keep
these women on the produc
tion line comes out of the
pockets of hard working fa
thers and mothers who are
trying to make better things
for their children and it cuts
down on the future of chil
dren who could be the leaders
of tomorrow.
At least two of these fa
thers are or have been in jail,
eating and lounging on tax
money. The welfare has sug
gested that these men be put
to work and if they refuse, to
cut off the funds given them.
This is a very good idea.
Welfare workers, churches
and private citizens with big
hearts have helped these fam
ilies and later found that the
clothing given for the small
fry had been thrown on the
floor, tramped in and just
added to the already over
powering mess. To top it off
they complain about not get
ting enough. How many more
can be multiplied all over the
state?
Sterilization can't hurt these
women, only stop the produc
tion of underpriviledged, un
happy and, for the most part,
unwanted children who help
to swell the long line of de
linquents. I would go farther even,
and add sterilization to the
prison code to be applied to
known sex offenders and ha
bitual criminals and stop the
down grading of America.
I wonder how many chil
dren Mr. Straub has that he
thinks this is such an inhuman
method? Today, there is no
excuse for not planning your
family to fit your earning
ability.
More power to Mr. Hatfield.
Mrs. Ray Doran
Route 2
Cenral Point, Ore. ,
current problems in Cali
fornia, and came up with
his own solution for one of
them: Free Caryl Chessman,
and execute Pat Brown.
A woman we know, who
lives in the Applegate val
ley, has also been doing some
thinking about current prob
lems, and believes she has
stumbled across a solution to
the dogs-running-at-large problem.
As a result of readina
James Michener's novel, "Ha
waii," in which it is record
ed that a Polynesian delicacy
is roast dog, she suggests that
this county's perennial head
ache over surplus does be
solved by setting up a quick-
freeze plant to process the
extra dogs and ship 'em to the
South Pacific.
Might even be a small nrof-
it in it, she thinks.
There Is a new Joke
(chuckle) going the rounds
at Hedrick Junior High
school (heh. heh) which goes
(ha. ha) this way: First
man-"I saw something last
night I couldn't get over."
Second man-"What?" First
man-"The moon." (Haw.
Haw. Haw! Ill)
Donald Kjelmyr. who is in
the first grade at Hoover
school, wrote a short essay
and drew a picture for the
last issue of the Hoover Hi-
Lite. Here they are:
I like pointer dogs best
I don't have one, but I wish
I did, so I made one on paper.
See how he points."
r
The best way to get Into
debt, we read somewhere,
is to try to keep up with
those who already are.
The chamber of commerce
gets all sorts of odd requests.
The other day someone in
the Willamette valley wrote
to inquire about "the bed
size" at the local hospitals.
Nothing daunted, the gals
at the office called the Rogue
Valley and Sacred Heart hos
pitals to ask how long and
how wide their beds were
and, in the process, apparent
ly created a lot of confusion
and some exasperation as the
hospital people, eager to
please the chamber, got out
tape measures and reported
the beds were so many inches
long and so many inches wide.
The data were assembled,
and the chamber people got
ready to write their reply to
the man. The more they pon
dered, however, the more
they wondered why anyone
would want to know the size
of the beds in the hospitals.
They re-read his letter, and
finally figured out that what
he REALLY wanted to know
was the size of the HOSPI
TALS, which is usually meas
ured by how many patients
it can accommodate-as in "a
100-bed hospital."
We hadn't heard from
That Man In Phoenix for
some time. We wondered
why. Were there fewer mis
takes in the paper? Was he
not reading the paper any
more? Didn't he care if we
made mistakes? The wor
ries were settled last week,
when the familiar, neatly
typed envelope arrived, and
the familiar, neatly typed
note inside bore a clipping
pasted to the lop. The clip
ping was a headline which
said "Motion to Squash In
dictment Entered."
His note said:
"Many of your readers
doubtless are unaware that a
motion to squash an indict
ment involves some of the
more complicated and cum
bersome implements of the
legal machinery in the mills
of justice.
"First the indictment is
carefully placed, face up, on
the exact middle of the sur
face of a heavy, reinforced
concrete slab 12 by 12 feet
square above which is sus
pended a five ton block of
stainless steel. Then the of
ficiating judge, in full court
regalia, accompanied by a
bailiff and witnesses, makes
motion toward the con
demned indictment and issues
the order, 'Squash!' Where
upon the suspended steel
block is released, dropping
from a Iethel height of not
less than five feet.
"The resulting impact cul
minates the ponderous pro
cedure, after which the in
dictment is officially pro
nounced null, void and ob
literated. "Quashing an indictment
is a much simpler process."
3
Thanks. Now we know. A
. f