MAIL TRIBUNE, Medfard, Or.
Sunday, Dec 6, 1939
"Everyooa IB Southern Onftm
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ROBLR1 W RUHL.' Editor
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CEPA1JJ LATHAM Buiifieae Mgi
. ERIC W ALLEN JR.
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EARL H ADAMS City Editor
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77 NIWSPAPII
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"ASSOCIATION
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Flight 'o Time
Medford snd Jackson County
History from the files of TN
Mail Tribune 10, 20. 30. 40
and 50 years ago.
; 10 YEARS AGO
Dec. 6. 1949 (Tuesday)
Twenty-four firemen fought
blaze at West Side pharmacy
. last night
Jackson county public wel-
fare costs quadrupled In last
10 years to $954,678.
: 20 YEARS AGO
Dec 6. 1939 (Wednesday)
y Russia boycotts League of
t Nation sessions on Finland at-
tdclc
l From Arthur Perry's "Ye
Smudge Pot" column: "To
I curb the flu epidemic, a war
;P has been declared on sneezing
f in public; this comes under
I- head of Nasal Disarmament."
30 YEARS AGO
Dec. 6, 1929 (Friday)
Two local grid stars, rated
as first string members of
Oregon team next fall.
Greatest crowd in city's his
tory turns out to greet Santa
Claus.
40 YEARS AGO
Dec. 6, 1919 (Saturday)
French troops threaten to
cross Rhine unless Germany
signs peace treaty.
Edison Marshall, local au
thor, will have first book pub
lished in March.
SO YEARS AGO
Dec. 6, 1909 (Monday)
Oregon is in grip of wjrst
snow storm in years; isvery
section of state has from two
to nine inches of snow.
W. E. Johnson purchases
Joe R a d e r orchard of 500
acres near Eagle Point for
$50,000.
What's Your I.Q.?
Nina er tea correct it enperiari
seven er eight is eiesB'v ; five a
sis is good. . . ,-
1. A sailboat is to its tiller
as an automobile is io its
windshield, engine, steering
wheel, seat, or brakes?
2. Unscramble the following
names of flowers: KNIP,
AHAILD, YILL.'
3. Correct the following:
"As soon as I saw him,
knew it was him."
4. Which' three words of the
following are most closely re
lated: Punt, Kick-off, Full
back, End, Touchdown,
Guard?
5. In which hand does the
Statue of Liberty hold the
torch?
6. What number increased
by Vi, 13, and Vi of itself
equals 125?
7. Add the next three num
bers in this sequence: 3, 12, 6,
6, 24, 12, 12, 48, 24, -, -, -.
8. A box is 3 inches wide
and 1 inch deep; how long
must it be to hold 15 cubic
inches of sand?
9. Which of the following
words is a different part of
speech than the rest: Rabies,
lovely, rapier, infants, atom?
10. How many pecks in a
bushel? .
Answers: 1. Steering wheel.
2. Pink, Dahlia, Lily. 3. ". . .
was he." 4. Fullback, end.
guard. 5. Right. 6. Sixty. 7.
24.96. 48. 8. 5 inches. 9. Love
ly (adj.). 1Q. Four.
On "Practicality
There are many words in the English Iangu
age which are misused.
"Practical" is one of them.
The two senses we have in mind are these
"Practical-Of, pertaining to, or manifested in, prac
tice or action . . . Capable of being turned to use or
account . . ."
Thus it is seen that
respectable word, and a
But too often it is used as an excuse not to
do something which needs doing, or is "capable
of being turned to use
isn't practical."
This usually means
the idea, won't have anything to do with it, and
that it wall cost too much money he thinks.
THIS type of excuse is used in many contexts.
Schools aren't "practical" when they fur
nish instruction m anything except the three Ks,
Parks aren't '"practical" because they aren't
"productive" they
which can be measured
Art and music aren't "practical" because
(usually) the objector doesn't know enough abou
them to enjoy them. . . .
Trees on city streets aren't "practical" because
they take up room which might be put to better
("more practical ) use.
THE list is long, and
The fact is that "impractical" things are
often the most important. Religion isn't very
"practkal" to most people but to many it is
one of the most important things in Me.
Matters of the mind, of the spirit, of the
intellect, of the sensibilities, in many cases pro
duce nothinsr physically
what make life worth
thinking man apart in the animal kingdom.
So. when vou are told that something "isn't
practical," be sure you
IS Dcing UStiU. db &uie ii
keep from doing anything at all. &.A.
On Community Pride
The other day, the Pendleton East Oregonian
commented on United Fund dnves m Uregon.
It said:
, "Whv do the citizens of some Oregon com
munities consistently meet their United Fund
obligations, and why do
Whv do the employees
variably answer the call to United Fund or any
other ivic duty and why do others consistently
refuse?
"There isn't a single
things are wrapped up in the answer pride in
self and pride in community, attitude toward
one's family and one's neighbors, understanding
or failing to understand the words 'I am my
brother s Keeper, a sense
"TE PROBABLY would get close to the an-
swer if we asked
two DeoDle of whom Raymond Rees, the Uma
tilla county president of
speaking the other day. une, a weaitny man,
gave $3 to the United Fund. The other, his
employee, gave $25.
"Perhaps Frank Jenkins, the editor of the
Klamath Falls Herald and News, has the answer.
We found this at the head of his column one
day last week :
U ! ET'S crow a little today.
" "'Iirthe league in which it plays,
KLAMATH WAS THE FIRST TO GO OVER
THE TOP IN ITS UNITED FUND DRIVE.
" That's worth crowing about. 1
' " 'How did it happen?
" 'The workers worked. The people gave. The
workers worked because they are proud of their
area. They want it to be the kind of area that
people will want to live in. The- people gave
because they too are proud of their area and
want it to be the kind of place people will want
to live in.'
"Is this why Salem
United Fund obligations year after year? If you
know those cities well you probably would say
that Mr. Jenkins' formula fits them. Even a cas
ual visitor to Medford or Salem gets that strong
feeling of community pride.
A FRIEND recently told us he had the rea
son for United Fund failures. 'When Unit
ed Fund fails in a community,' he said, 'it's be
cause you have too many people who have no
misgivings about spending a chunk of their pay
check every week for whiskey but complain about
having to pay taxes for schools.'
"Maybe he's right. But we don't know where
to go from there. We've never understood the
man. who camplains that $7.50 is too much to
pay for a book but pays the same amount for a
bottle of whiskey without a murmur.
"Some persons require no urging. Others re
fuse to help, no matter how strongly urged."
a
THIS J)rings home strongly the United Med-
ford Crusade's present situation at about 85
per cent of its goal, and inching along slowly.
Well is Medford a town with 'pride?
Is it a town where people put more value
on whiskey than on schools?
Is it a town where the United Fund is going
to fail?
The UMC drive could be finished off tomor
row if everyone who hasn't yet donated would
do so today. Checks can be mailed to Post Office
Box 5000, Medford. E.A. I
99
practical is a perfectly
useful one.
or account. As: it jus'
the speaker doesn't like
don't produce anything
in dollars and cents.
rather sad.
tangible. .But they are
living. They are what set
understand how the word
iou 1 juot an ca,uoc tu
others consistently laii
of some companies in
way to answer. Many
or no sense 01 cnaruy.
a psychologist to study
the United Fund, was
and Medford meet their
Dennis the Menace
' W mimr VIHEGAZ IH fffltf-ATOMIZER?
Druirimcnd Reports
(Walter Lippman is again traveling abroad. Roscoe Drumond
reports from Washington in his absence.) '
The "Non-Regulatory"
Agencies
Washington - Doesn't it
strike you that the Federal
Communications Commission
(which regulates or non-regu-
lates television) and the Fed
eral Trade Commission (one
of whose jobs is to protect the
public against misleading ad
vertising) are bestirring them
selves an awfully long time
after the horse has been
stolen?
And are still raising doubts
whether they have the right
to lock the barn door even at
this late date?
The F.C.C., which was
created by Congress to license
and regulate the television
and radio industry, is suppos
ed to be the watchdog of the
public interest. This is the
job for which the commission
ers were appointed. They are
supposed to be expert and
active in doing it.
But when the first stories
began to appear hinting that
something was rotten in the
quiz shows, the F.C.C. didn't
sense anything . wrong; at
least they did virtually noth
ing about it, except send off
one or two half-hearted letters
of inquiry. When the coached
contestants began to lie to the
New York County Grand
Jury, the F.C.C. showed no
suspicion no activity. When
the witnesses began to change
their testimony to the New
York District Attorney,' the
first reaction of the chairman
of the F.C.C. was to talk about
how little authority he
thought the commission had.
TSN'T it odd that it was not
'until after the House inves
tigating sub-committee had
exposed the whole sorry mess,
that it wasn't until public
opinion had become really
angered, that it wasn't until
the President, who appoints
the regulatory-or non-regulatory-agencies,
had remarked
on the "awful thing" TV had
done to the American people,
that the F.C.C. suddenly
aroused itself and decided
that, maybe, there was some
thing it ought to do?
And the same with the Fed
eral Trade Commission. Why
wasn't the F.T.C. first to spot,
expose, and do something ef
fective about misleading tele
vision commercials? They are
the "experts." Theirs is the
duty. They have the law in
their hands with which to do
it. But it was only after it felt
In the Day's News
By FRANK JENKINS
Let's talk today about
Farhad Adjoodani, who is the
son of Mahmoud Adjoodani,
director of foreign exchange
students at the Iranian em
bassy, in our capital city of
Washington.
YOUNG Farhad, age 17, had
a falling out with his girl
friend, Sandra Boliek, who
was spending the week end at
the home of his parents. The
quarrel arose out of the fact
that Sandra had been going
out with other boys while
young Farhad was at college
in Youngstown, Ohio.
He lost his temper and
slapped her. He took a pistol
out of a trunk and threatened
to shoot himself. Then he ran
into another room, and a shot
was heard. When other mem
bers of the family rushed into
the room, it turned out that
the cartridge in the gun was
blank.
Instead of a tragedy, it was
only a tantrum.
ANYWAY, the week end was
spoiled and young Farhad
drove Sandra to her home in
nearby Georgetown. But he
was still all shook up, and on
the way to Georgetown he
opened the car window, stuck
the gun outside and started
blasting again - still with
blanks.
This time the cops stepped
' ' '
the sting of public protest,
that the F.T.C. opened its eyes
a little wider and began to
think that it might really do
something about enforcing the
law.
What I am pointing out is
that for some reason it wasn't
the regulatory agencies, the
F.C.C. and the F.T.C, which
suspected, uncovered, or ex
posed the offenses in the in
dustry they were supposed to
be watching, and it wasn't
until after they began to be
scorched by public opinion
that they showed any evi
dence that they thought they
had much to do about it.
T Y this time it would be un--'-'derstandable
if many peo
ple had forgotten what the
House Sub-committee on Leg
islative Oversight was origin
ally investigating. . Its assign
ment was to check up on the
practices and procedures of
the Federal regulatory agen
cies to see if they were ade
quately doing their job? It
was this sub-committee which
discovered some of the F.C.C.
commissioners were taking
emoluments for making
speeches to the industry and
were receiving travel and ho
tel expenses from those they
were supposed to regulate. It
was this subcommittee which
brought out Bernard Gold
fine's activities and other such
matters.
But in the end this House
sub-committee - in an action
which gave it no pain was
in the middle of massive head
lines from its investigation of
the rigged quie shows. It
seems to me a fair conclusion
that the Harris committee
would never have had to in
vestigate the quiz shows if the
F.C.C. had been doing its
work alertly -and with single-
minded loyalty to the public
interest.
My point is, why do the two
big regulatory agencies have
to wait for a full-blown Con
gressional investigation to
marshal public opinion before
they can carry out their du
ties under the law? Doesn't
this raise doubts about , the
caliber of the commissions
themselves and, raise the
question whether they are not
more the servants of the in
dustry than they are of the
public?
(Copyright 1959 New York
Herald Tribune, Inc.)
in,' collared him and took him
to the station-where Farhad's
identity was disclosed. Be
cause he was the' son of a for
eign diplomat and as such had
DIPLOMATIC IMMUNITY,
they turned him loose.
QO much for the incident.
Now for the point of it.
Defending his actions,
young Farhad said: "I think
I acted as ANY American boy
would. I've been in this coun
try almost six years, and I'm
quite familiar with your cus
toms. TTMMMMMM.
I hope he's wrong. One
has to admit that in similar
circumstances SOME Ameri
can boys might g'o off their
rockers and slap their girl
friends and then dash into an
adjoining room and pretend to
shoot themselves and then
come" out of it and while driv
ing the girl friend home go
off the deep end again and
start shooting up the town
with blanks-finally, winding
up in the police station.
But if young Farhad really
believes that is one of our old
established customs, I'm afraid
his observation of us during
his six years of residence here
has been inaccurate.
Our teenagers aren't all that
stupid.
Matter of Fact By Jeseoh Alsop
HELPING NIXON
Washington - As is often
the case nowadadys, there is
a wide difference between the
public presentation of the
President's foreign trip, and
rr: jfcrw- nrartiral py-
X u'v I pert judgment
mm . u
The trip has
jjjl been pres
edtothecc
iJ L 1 r y a
1 ground tou
present-
n
coun-
j JtL, y ground tour in
II V peace, which
U mm: LmJ is to culmin-
a"p ate, in Paris
in a grand effort to secure
Western unity before the sum
mit meeting with Nikita. S
Khrushchev. It will of course
be good public relations for
this country, for the President
to visit India and the other
places he plans to visit. But
good public relations will not
serve the cause of peace.
For the long run, in fact.
foreign visits that are merely
aimed to generate "good
will" serve hardly any pur
pose at all. The kind of good
will that is generated in this
manner is approximately as
durable as dry ice. As to the
trip's climax, every exper
ienced diplomat agrees that if
any real progress towards
Western unity is made at
Paris, it will be made by the
hard, detailed negotiations of
the Foreign Ministers.
TTERE, then, is this great,
i-i- ceremonial, time-consum
ing,- effort - demanding Presi
dential journey. Here is this
world - wandering version of
the President's triumphant
European tour last summer,
What durable results can be
expected of it?
The answer is provided by
looking back to the European
tour. That one produced no
durable results of much im
portance in Europe. Nothing
was decided in any of the
capitals the President visited,
The President's glowing pres
ence naturally evoked an
answering glow of friendship,
but this was forgotten pretty
soon after the cheering crowds
dispersed. The residue, in
Europe, was very smaU in
deed. But the European tour
produced results that still en
dure in the United States.
In fact the tour was one of
the two main episodes - the
other was the Khrushchev
visit here which created the
so-called "peace issue," and
led to last summer's dramatic
Republican recovery. Its val
ue has been registered by the
inquiring Dr. Gallup, whose
poll results show Vice Presi
dent Richard M. Nixon rising
from 39 per cent of the na
tional vote in July to 53 per
cent in November, with Sen.
John F. Kennedy dropping
from 61 per cent in July to 47
per cent in November.
WITH any luck at all, the
new tour will consolidate
and improve the effects of the
emergence of the "peace is
sue" last summer. If this hap
pens, moreover, there will be
two consequences of high po
litical importance. The Repub
lican Darty will benefit in
general, and Vice President
Nixon will benefit in partic
ular. The highly impressive
Nixon rise in the polls that
began last August abruptly
upset the "Nixon-can't-win"
strategy, of the Vice Presi
dent's only Republican com
petitor, New York's Gov,
Nelson Rockefeller. Another
political harvest from this
new Presidential tour will as
sist Nixon even more.
This does not mean that the
Vice President had any hand
in the new trip. He did not. It
does not mean either that the
President is taking this tax
ing trip with domestic polit
ical purposes foremost in his
mind. He is a great believer
In good will, even as a com
modity in international trade.
;Yet it. does rather strain
credulity to suppose that the
President has altogether ig
nored the possible domestic-
political benefits of his for
eign-political effort. He very
much wants a successor who
will carry on where he has
left off, which means a Repub
lican successor. There are
clear signs, too, that he is not
unwilling to help the Vice
President become his suc
cessor, while doing- nothing
positive of course, to vblock
the rival candidacy of Gov.
Rockefeller.
IT WILL help the Vice Pres
ident materially, for in
stance, to appear in the role
of Acting President in these
next weeks. He will gain by
presiding at Cabinet and Se
curity Council meetings, as
the President has invited him
to do. And if you suspect that
this kind of quiet but useful
aeip lor nutou u aimiess ana
1 1 : i , J
unintentional, you only need
to look at the recently pub
lished list of the "New
Yorkers for Nixon."
Not nearly enough atten
tion has been given to the
presence among the "New
Yorkers for Nixon" of three
of the President's closest
cronies, W. Alton Jones of the
City Service Oil Co., Barry T.
Leithead of Cluett, Peabody
& Co., and William E. Robin
son of the Coca Cola Co. These
members of the Augusta Golf
Club set do exactly what the
President wants in politics. It
is hard to imagine their being
mistaken about what he wants
in the present instance,
(c) 19S9 New York Herald
Tribune Inc.
Communications
Letters to the Editor must bear the name and address of the writer
although under certain circumstances the use of a pen name or initia'
for publication is permissible. The Mail Tribune reserves the right tc
edit all letters with a view to clarification and condensation. Letters
submitted for publication must not exceed 400 words. The letters
printed in this column do not necessarily represent the views of the
paper; in fact the contrary is often the ca.
Personal Santa Visit
To the Editor: We are in
sympathy with parents and
the problem that Santa Claus
presents. Unfortuately, retail
Santas are often distraught by
the large number of children
clamoring for their attention.
As mothers, we feel that a
personal visit from Santa
would eliminate disappoint
ment and frayed nerves. Our
Santa would be glad to call
at your home with a surprise
for your children and a
merry "Ho, Ho, Ho!" Anyone
interested . could call SP 3
4400 for further information.
Jean Gilbert, President
Epsilon Sigma Alpha,
501 Oregon Terrace,
Medford.
Santa Disappoints
To the Editor: I've never
written a letter to the editor
before, but after viewing
Santa's arrival Saturday I
stood, with my three children,
as did hundreds of other par
ents, for over 30 minutes
watching Santa circle town
and the roped-off area where
he was to land. Finally at
10:30 Santa settled down in
the small spot designated for
him.
After we brushed the dirt
from our eyes there' he stood.
The looks of happy anticipa
tion on the faces of the
thrilled youngsters was worth
every bit of dirt and wind,
but
What did Santa do? He
waved a couple of times and
disappeared through the
crowd. Couldn't he have at
least made one circle around
the square and spoken to a
few boys and girls?' If you
could have seen the look of
disappointment on the faces
of the young bewildered chil
dren, the tears that ran down
some of their angelic faces, as
parents tried to make them
understand that they had to
go "down town" to see Santa
and wait again for 30 minutes
to an hour to get to talk to
him.
I certainly feel that his ar
rival could be a little differ
ent. Of course the merchants
of "downtown" wanted the
people "down town," so why
not just drive him to a desig
nated spot "down town" and
make these little ones happy
and not confused?
I'm sure hundreds of par
ents agree with me. And after
all, "Santa is for children."
Mrs. E. Smith,
Mrs. D. Bottjer,
Route 4, Box 358H,
Medford.
EPID Questions
To the editor: The latest
story in the Mail Tribune on
the continuing campaign of
Mrs. Ann Todd against the
Eagle Point Irrigation Dist
rict, and those coming in con
tact with it, indicates that the
district attorney issued his
statement without learning all
the facts.
Had the district attorney
questioned witnesses, as well
as the principals, he would
have found that Mrs. Todd
was not evicted from the of
fice of EPID on the day he
states, and that she (Mrs.
Todd) used the telephone in
the EPID office to call the city
marshal before she left. Upon
the marshal's arrival, Mrs.
Todd asked him to make an
arrest.
The district attorney would
have also found, that the
trouble was not over the heat
in the office, but was caused
by Mrs. Todd telling the other
person involved to shut up.
This was the second time this
had occurred in public.
It is hard for this writer to
believed that Mrs. Todd could
have undergone such a change
of heart as to not want to
swear out a warrant between
the time she left the EPID of
fice and her arrival at the
DA's office. Why else would
she have gone there?
. Cliff Moore
Route 1, Box 624
Eagle Point, Ore.
Editor's note: No complaint
was filed.
(By M-T Staff and Contributors)
A Mail Tribune "column
filler" (called to our atten
tion by Mrs. Ellen A. Lyn
ner): "Adjust your son's skin
diving goggles to fit tightly
and wear them to peal (sic)
onions ..." '
Ear plugs would seem to
be more appropriate under '
the circumstances, io pro
tect one from what Mrs.
Lynner calls "those dulcet
bell tones of an onion."
"Dear Potty:" (writes a
Santa In a Hurry
To the Editor: The familiar
"Ho! Ho! Ho!, Merry Christ
mas Boys and Girls," was
sadly missed by scores of
children at Hawthorne Park
when Santa arrived by heli
copter. The Retail Merchant's Asso
ciation must have had him on
a very close schedule as HIS
lack of time to walk around
the roped off area and wave
to the children on all sides
certainly made for many dis
appointed and sobbing young
sters. Many hundreds of people
responded to the publicity
coverirfg Santa's arrival but
very few were even reward
ed with a glimpse of him.
I'm sure the couple of min
utes it would have taken for
him to do this would have
given a lot of little ones a big
thrill to remember.
It's a good idea, but let us
be more fair next time .to all
concerned.
Gail B. Laurine (Mrs.)
396 Pierce rd:,
Medford.
An Idea
To the Editor: While the
president and his party are
making social calls upon thh
big-wigs of Europe, Asia and
Africa, don't you think it
would be nice for them to stop
in at some ot tne prisons and
slave labor camps and say
hello to our American boys
who have been there so long,
and wish them a Merry
Christmas, and tell them we
sure do think of them a lot?
John C. Stille
Shady Cove, Ore.
Say It Isn't So!
. To the Editor: Here we have
it, the weather lore prediction
for the three months of win
ter 59-'60 "in a nutshell".
The month of December
presumably will be two-thirds
foggy days with one-third
sunshiney weather. January
ditto, with a heavy emphasis
on fog all month. Third win
ter month, February, the ouU
look is for fair and brighter;
probably extreme cold.
In short it points to an un
usual winter' for Rogue river
valley, never quite anything
like it in history before.
Bert Kissinger
520 Boardman St.
Medford.
Likts CARE Ads '
To the Editor: I want to tell
you what a very fine thing I
think you are doing by print
ing the CARE ads for hungry
children. I assume that you
contribute this space to the
cause. We who have been so
blessed as to never know hun
ger, should never be satisfied
till we have done everything
within our power to remove
this curse from the rest of the
world. I know that God will
bless you for doing what you
can.
Marie Ottosen
' Route 1, Box 251
Eagle Point, Ore.
Building Materials
To the Editor: The evening
of Dec. 2 as I was relaxing in
my easy chairk there was
Page 1 of the Medford Mail
Tribune. Elation reigns su
preme when we read that one
of our friendly home loan as
sociations is going to build a
spanking new building right
flat dab in the middle of
Medford. We really go into
orbit after reading the descrip
tion of materials to be used
steel, glass, aluminum, and
concrete. This will be an im
pressive building and we are
sure that the loggers, mill
operators, wholesalers of lum
ber and wood produces, and
retail lumber dealers wish
them well.
Enuff said!
Charlie G. Fox Jr.
1434 Kings highway
Medford
faintly disrespectful reader).
"A poet stated that Rosa
ceae designated by a different
nomenclature would emit a
similar pleasing aroma.
"Just the same, I cannot
comprehend that labelling my
holiday repast Melleagris Gal
lopavo et Vaccinium Oxycoc
cus made the turkey taste any
better or the little red berries
any less 'pizon.' However, if
a quarter century hence some
disciple of Hippocrates in
forms me that I am the victim
of a carcinomous invasion, I
shall not implore him to d'es
ienate what Th
Christmas dinner was respon
sible. "I think there has been too
'Much Ado About Nothing ' "
Our reply to the above:
"Floccinaucinihilipilifiea
tion." There! L.G.W. (And
you'll find it in the Oxford
English Dictionary ihe
BIG one.)
A little girl was lying on
her back, singing.
Soon she turned over on
her stomach, and started sing
ing another song.
"Playing a game, dear?"
asked her mother.
"Yes," she replied. "I'm a
phonograph record, and I just
turned myself over."
Now let us turn, as we
often do, with pleasure, to
the pages of the Hoover Hi
Lite, and learn what mem
bers of Mrs. Shepard's class
had to say about their cur
rent study-subject, frogs:
The frog has a sticky
tongue. He catches flies
with his tongue. Th frog
has long legs. It jumps with
jls legs. It sleeps in the win
ter. He can dive.
Pamela Dubs
First comes the egg. And
then comes the tadpole.
And then the tadpole grows
hind legs. And then he
grows front legs. Then his
tail goes away. Now he is
a frog.
Donna Root
The frog is first a tad
pole. The frog is a friend if
you can catch him. I had a
frog. The frog hibernates
in winter. That means to
sleep.
Ned Sickles
One of our s h a r p-e y e d
young men spotted two classi
fied ads close together in a
column of the San Francisco
Chronicle one recent Sunday.
He wonders if there is any
connection between the two.
They said:
"For Sale Head and body
after death. Male. $6500 now."
"What ever happened o
Ken Hildebrandt?"
Remember our story of
last week about our new re
porter (young, single, male,
wishful)? And the difficul
ty he had with early-morning
calls from nice-sounding
young women?
Well, after that item ap
peared, he passed us a note
which, if we recall correct
ly, went something like
this:
"Kindly make it clear
that I am not opposed io re- .
ceiving calls from young
ladies at odd hours. Callers,
however, should be be
tween 21 and 25 years of
age, blonde, blue-eyed, be
tween 5 feet 2 and 5 feet
5, and (approximately) 36-25-36.
Some leeway is per
missable in regard to either
the first or second 36."
Later he added verbally
that the "blonde" part could
be expanded io include red
heads. His note also listed his
telephone number which
unfortunately we seem to
have mislaid.
We read somewhere about
i man who was driving a
large truck along the high
way, and every so often would
stop, get out, go around to
the back, stick a pole into a
cage on the truck, and swish
it around vigorously inside
the cage.
A police officer saw this
happen several times, and fi
nally stopped him to inquire
the purpose of this maneuver.
"Well you see," the man
said, "this truck has a capac
ity of two tons, and I've got a
four-ton load of canaries, and
I've got to keep at least half
of them flying."
After a visit to Europe, a
tourist explained ihe differ
ences between four of ihe
countries he had seen, as
follows:
"In England, you can do
anything except that which
is prohibited.
"In France, you can do
anything, including that
which is prohibited.
"In Germany, you can't
do anything, except thai
which is especially permit
ted. "In the Soviet Union, you
can't do anything, even that
which isn't prohibited." .