MAIL TRtBUNI. MmlforJ, Or.
Sunday, Arg. 23, 1959
MedfobbSTbibunb
"Zveryone is Southern Oregon
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Flight 'o Time
Medford and Jackson County
History from the files of Thf
Mail Tribune 10, 20. 30. '40
and 50 years ago.
10 YEARS AGO
Aus. 23. 1949 (Tuesday)
Teamsters local 962 signs
agreements with wholesale
grocers, cheese distributors
and beer distributors.
Mercy Flights, Inc., plans
to file incorporation papers
this week.
20 YEARS AGO
Aug. 23, 1939 (Wednesday)
Medford city council adopts
a complete and coordinated
city traffic ordinance.
From Arthur Perry's "Ye
Smudge Pot" column (by Don
Upjohn): "We understand that
the world famous Labish on
ion which beats a perfumed
path to our back door, now
has a feeble but well inten
tioned . imitator in 'the valley
of the Rogue."
30 YEARS AGO
Aug. 23, 1929 (Friday)
The humane society Is
thanked for curbing stray
dogs. .
Rogue River cannery will
start canning pears next
week.
40 YEARS AGO
Aug. 23, 1919 (Saturday)
Prospect saved from being
destroyed by a forest fire.
Ashland protests against es
tablishing oil storage tanks
in the city.
50 YEARS AGO'
Aug. 23, 1909 (Monday)
Edgar Hafer has interested
the Packard motor car com
pany in participating in a try
to set a new auto record to
Crater Lake.
Mines being developed in
the Gold Hill area are re
ported to be showing great
promise.
What's Your I.Q,?
Nine or ten correct is superior;
seven or eight is excellent; five et
sis is good.
1. In what sport is the term
"dog-fall" used?
2. Was it Woodrow Wilson,
Calvin Cqohdge, or Warren G
Harding who was sworn into
office as President by his fath
er?
3. Name the sea mollusk
whose muscle is the only part
we eat.
4. Did Diogenes search with
a lantern for a wife, thief,
honest man, or a lost dog?
5. Why are some important
messages sent to the Congress
by the President called "state
of the Union" messages?
6. From whom did the U. S.
purchase the American Virgin
Islands?
7. Cape Horn is at the south
ern point of what continent?
8. A flag flown upside down
is widely recognized as what
sort of signal? : .
9, How many acute angles
are found in every triangle;
two or three, two, three, or
one?
10. A sailboat is to a tiller
as an auto is to a windshield,
engine, steering wheel or
brake? -
Answers: 1. Wrestling. 2.
Calvin Coolidge. 3. Scallop. 4.
Honest man. 5. The Constitu
tion calls for such a message
from lime to time. 6. Den
mark. 7. South America. 8,
A distress signal. 9. Two or
three. 10. Steering wheel.
3
Sears and "Downtown
That was quite a remarkable welcome which
the people of southern Oregon gave to the Sears
Roebuck company when it opened its big new
store here last Thursday.
Despite the ram, thousands upon thousands
of curious people turned up to look (and perhaps
buy) at the shopping center. It was, in fact, a
major event in the growth and progress of this
community, and most people recognize this fact.
It isn't every day that a major new industry opens
up a multi-million dollar plant.
IT IS natural that many of the merchants in
The Sears company,
serves of cash, its years of
ence, its efficient methods, and its buying power,
undoubtedly will make
the merchants.
But we have enough
believe that no one enterprise like this, no matter
how big, is going to force anyone out of business
no one, at any rate, who is doing a good, prog
ressive job of his own.
A COMPARABLE situation occurred in Salem
a few years ago when
pany opened a big branch
Friends in the capital
indeed, put a few marginal stores out of busi
ness. But the others, the better ones, although
pinched a little for a few months, actually did
better m the long run, for it forced them to 1m
prove their own operations.
And, as the community continued to grow,
they capitalized on this, and attracted their
share of customers.
THOO, there is the fact
store in Salem attracted more customers from
a larger radius around
fore did their shopping
Portland. And the Salem
share of these new customers dollars, too.
We foresee a similar
The Sears establishment
tomers from Cave Junction, Grants Pass, and
very likely from as far away as Klamath Falls,
Yreka and Happy Camp. If the "downtown"
area is smart enough and progressive enough,
they'll get ' their share"
They have already
right direction such
trees and flowers along
and park" plan which
soon, and a dressing up
ments and more aggressive merchandising.
In our view, Medford
growth and progress. And there s no reason all
cannot share m it. E.A.
Rain
The cool dampness of
valley residents when they got out of bed Thurs
day morning was mighty
It was welcome to
farmers with pasture crops. It was welcome to
foresters as it dampened
And it was welcome
like the smell of wet earth and foliage, and the
sound of rain splashing
It was. also welcome
autumn is about the nicest season of the year.
For even though it's still
that fall can t be far away. E.A.
Stop The Deer Slaughter
We're on the side of
their efforts to get something done to protect
the deer in the Green Springs area.
lhe 17-mile Howard Prairie delivery ca
nal has proven to be a hazard to the deer popu
lation there. Many of them have fallen or jumped
into it, ana many 01 tnem nave drowned, ine
count of dead deer now
Presumably the bureau of reclamation does
not now have the funds
sary to protect the deer,
bridges, steps, or other structures.
But the federal government has a real re
sponsibility in this matter, and it is to be hoped
that the funds for this can be found, even if it
takes special action by
THERE will be a half-year respite, for it is
planned to empty the canal after this irri
gation season, and leave it near empty until next
April. But then it will become a death-trap again
unless something is done.
It seems only proper that the governmen
should assume its responsibility, and not remain
in the reprehensible position of being a deer-
slaughterer on a mass scale. E.A.
Anonymity
Anonymity is a wonderful thing.
Gee, all you have to
Then you call the fire or police departments and
report a non-existent bomb. Or you .call a sincere
and well-meaning woman and threaten her with
all sorts of fiendish actions.
Or, you can write a
signed, of course.
Then you sit back and chuckle.
That fixed 'em, didn't
big and brave and adventurous, doesn t it?
The best part of all,
don t have to say who
know what a slimy coward you are. h.A.
with its tremendous re
merchandising experi
it difficult for some of
faith in this area to
Meier and Frank com
there.
city tell us that it did,
that the Meier and Frank
the city, people who be
either at. home or in
merchants got "their
situation in this area.
is going to draw cus
too.
taken many steps in the
things as the pretty little
Main street, the "shop
we hope will catch on
of their own establish
is due for a future of
.
the rain which greeted
welcome.
.gardners and to many
the dry woods.
to those many who just
on the roof.
to those who think that
August, the rain showed
the Izaak Waltonians in
stands at around 50.
to do whatever is neces
in the forms of fences,
the Congress.;
do is pick up a telephone
poison-pen note un
it? Makes you feel rea!
of course, is that you
you are, so no one wil
Dennis the
HOW TO
Matter of Fact
AS UGLY AS QUEMOYI
Washington "I hope it
doesn't turn out to be as bad
as it looks. But I think
we've got to
be prepared
for a ,Laos
crisis as ugly
as the Que
moy crises."
This autho
ritative gov
ernmental summary of
the outlook
.1 i
Jns-ph AlstiD O U g n X tO
bring up with a sharp jerk
the huge majority of people
who have hardly noticed the
events in remote little Laos.
What is going on in Laos is
crude, active Communist ag
gression. It not only seems
likely to cause another
spasm of the kind of acute
international attack on Que-
moy. it can also lead to even
more unpleasant results.
The chief base of the ag-
gresssion is the Communist
state of North Vietnam, es
tablished in 1954 after the
American government gave
its blessing to the partition
of Indochina. The secondary
base is Communist China,
which also has a long com
mon frontier with Laos.
AS ALREADY reported in
this snare. nro-Pommiinist.
Laotians have been invited
across the North Vietnamese
border; have been formed
and trained there in military
units; and have been infil
trated back into Laos. .The
first major infiltration into
the Laotian provinces of
Phong Saly and Samneua oc
curred some weeks ago. The
infitrating forces, numbering
perhaps 2,000 men in all,
were attacked by the small
Laotian Army with some ini
tial success. Some units have
therefore retired again across
the North Vietnam border,
while others have fragmented
into small guerilla outfits.
If this were the whole story
the outlook might not be so
ominous. But there is a
high probability that only a
relatively small percentage
of the invasion force organ
ized in North Vietnam was
used for the first attack. The
American analysts believe
that . an additional force of
5,000 men is ready for further
border - crossings. Most of
these reserve battalions are
in North Vietnam, but some
are also thought to be in
Communits China.
Additional infiltrations on
anything like this scale, car
ried on in mountainous coun
try devoid of -communications',
will present the gravest sort
of problem for the Laotian
Army. Yet the signs suggest
that the Communist high
command means to continue
the attack on Laos. y
TOURING the past week an
J arrogant official statement
in Hanoi was followed by a
crudely threatening blast
from Peking; and the Peking
blast, in turn, led to a Mos
cow statement that support
ed the Chinese-Vietnamese po
sition in more moderate lan
guage. In addition, the Viet
namese Communist boss, Ho
Chih Minh, was the guest of
Nikita S. Khrushchev in Mos
cow during the opening phase
of the Laos invasion. The suc
cessive statements and Ho's
Moscow visit are pretty plain
indications that what has
happened so far is not a mere
isolated incident, but the
opening phase of a pretty big
show.
The nakedness of the new
aggression also deserves to
be noted. The infiltrating
Communist units were not
only organized and trained in
North Vietnam. They are
also using North Vietnam as
a supply base at this moment,
receiving ammunition and
food by coolie transport over
the mountain trails. And
they are further stiffened by
North Vietnamese c a dr e
Menace
MAKgttf C8S!
Bv Joseph Alsop.
and long experience of jungle
fighting.
The reaction of the Ameri
can government to this new
Communits aggression has
been somewhat delayed by
Secretary of State Christian
A. Herter's absence in Chile.
No decisions on the Presi
dent-Secretary of State level
have as yet been taken. But
on the lower levels of the
State Department, they are al
ready pointing out that it will
be very difficult, if not im
possible, for President Eisen
hower to receive Nikita Khru
shchev as his guest while the
attack on Laos continues.
7
TIPLOMATIC action in
Moscow will almost cer
tainly be the first phase of
the American attempt to deal
with the problem in Laos. At
the same tune, plans are being
perfected to strengthen the
Laotian Army with rush de
liveries of additional arms, in
cluding helicopters useful for
mountain fighting. Laos is
fortunate in having both a
stouthearted and able Prime
Minister, Phoui Sananikone,
and an extremely able Army
commander, General Ouane
With enough aid, they may be
able to solve their own prob
lems.
Meanwhile there are two
reasons why such deep con
cern is already felt about this
Laos business, at least in the
inner government circles.
First of all, since Laos has
been receiving American aid,
and has recently imported a
smal group of American of
ficers to help train its army,,
the attack on Laos is obvious-'
ly intended as a challenge to
this country. Secondly, a
Communist victory in little
Laos would start a chain re
action in Southeast Asia. But
since public tranquillizing is
the rule nowadays, the gov
ernment has not yet communi
cated its concern to the coun
try. Copyright 1959 New York
Herald Tribune Inc.
Communications
' Letters to the Editor must
bear the name and address of
the writer although nder cer
tain circumstances tne use of a
pen name oi initial for publica
tion is pe-missible. The Mail
Tribune reserves the right to
edit all letters with an eye to
clarification and condensation
Letters submitted for publica
tion must not exceed 400 words
More Monkey Business
To the Editor:
Ev'rett Acklin got us cacklin'
How he stirred the poets' wit
With one humorous tid-bit-When
he made his English
junky
W'iting 'bout dat kwazy mon
key. So, in spite of all the hecklin',
Compliments to Ev'rett Ack
lin! Gold Hill Bitty
Gold Hill, Ore.
Cubs Praised
To the Editor: A group of
boys from your, community
were recent guests in our city
over the past week end and
during their stay here captur
ed the state championship of
the Oregon Junior Baseball
association. I would like to
make a few observations con
cerning this team, the Crater
Cubs from Central Point.
It was evident from their
attitude on their first day in
town that they came here to
play batt and to win. They did
just that. It wasn't easy as
they had tough opponents and
hard, close games in aU three
of their wins. They played to
win but at the same time dis
played excellent sportsman
ship and courtesy both on and
off the field. Game umpires
rated each team in each game
and their score for the tourna
ment was 148 out of a possible
150 points. Their hustle in
playing was the talk of local
and visiting tournament ob
servers. We are very proud to
have been host to such a fine
group of young men.
The coaches, Don Miller and
Keith Johnson, have set a fine
example for the boys. In ad-
Washington Report
By WILLIAM
WEEKS OF CRISIS
Washington-These last, hot
weeks of the 1959 session of
the 86th Congress are weeks
of decision for more than the
great legislative issues now
being debat
1 ed. They are
weeks of cri
sis also for
two of the
Democ ratic
party's princi
pal 1960 Pres
idential possi
bilities - Sen
ators Lyndon
WwwS S" B- Johnson of
Texas and John F.' Kennedy
of Massachusetts.
Johnson and Kennedy are
being put painfully over the
barrel. They must confront
and resolve questions pecu
liarly involving their own
1960 prospects, their party's
prospects and, of course, the
interests of the country it
self. The third and fourth mem
bers of the Senate's field of
Presidential hopefuls, Sena
tors Hubert H. Humphrey of
Minnesota and Stuart Syming
ton of Missouri, are in no way
so severely affected. In a gen
eral sense what this Congress
does or does not do will, of
course, vaguely touch their
fortunes. But neither is so ut
terly tied to that record. For
neither is in personal com
mand of a major issue. Nei
ther, thus, can be so hurt
or maybe so helped - by con
gressional action or inaction
as can the Texan and the man
from Massachuetts.
HUMPHREY'S one possible
chance to win the Presi
dential prize - and his own
people admit it is a long
chance - is not as a man of
Congress. If his candidacy is
to "go" at an, it wiU be be
cause he has declared himself
the champion of a non-Congressional
and- extremely lib
eral wing of his party.
This wing wants a Presi
dential nominee in the image
of Franklin D. Roosevelt, a
nominee standing not on. a
Congressional record, good or
bad, but on the policies and,
need, the memories of the
New Deal.
The Humphrey backers are
not the Congressional people.
They are weU typified by the
identity of his campaign man
ager, James H. Rowe Jr., a
Washington attorney who was
White House assistant to
FDR.
Symington's main chance-
and this must be conceded
even by his critics to be a
very considerable chance
also will not really rest on
what he does or doesn't do in
the Senate. He is the indicat
ed champion not of the Roose
velt New Deal but of the Tru-
man Fair Deal. The "Truman
Today & Tomorrow
By Walter
BEFORE PARIS
The President has been put
on notice by Gen. de GauUe's
Prime Minister, M. Debre, that
his visit to
Paris is not go
i n g to be a
holiday." M r .
Debre made a
speech last
Sunday which,
to speak mild
ly, is disturb
ing. For what
is it that caus
ed t h e Prime
Minister of France on the eve
of a visit by the President of
the United States to make a
speech in which he says, al
1 u d i n g to the Eisenhower
Khrushchev visits, that "to
avoid being crushed by agree
ments between very great
powers, a nation like France
must be in a position to make
itself heard and understood."
We may perhaps pass by
the words "crushed," which
taken at face value would
mean a Soviet - American
criminal conspiracy at the ex
pense of France. Possibly the
word is a mistranslation, prob
ably it is a tactless rhetorical
exaggeration. But is is very
disconcerting to learn that the
Prime Minister's distrust of
our loyalty and of our friend
ship for France is so profound
and so pervasive, indeed so
pathological, that his mind
dwells on the crazy idea of a
Soviet - American pact at the
expense of France. Someone
who has his ear should tell
M. Debre that this is not the
way to think about or to talk
to the United States and its
President.
rj THE meantime, we must
assume that the voice of M.
dition to the team's "good" at
titude they were weU coached
in fundamentals and theory of
the game. Your community
can be weU proud of the new
state champions.
Dean Brown, President,
Eugene Boys Athletic
Association
Eugene, Ore.
4T
twmiinsWaliaa
Walter
I fpnnunn
S. WHITE
Democrats," headed by the
former President himself, are
the chiefs of the Symington
movement. These are symbol
ized by the old pros of the big
city Democratic organizations
who are not now, and never
were, closely connected with
Congress.
JOHNSON and Kennedy,
however, are both strirtlv
men of Congress. Their
strength and their hopes .must
rest in the end at the capitol
and on the legislative record
made there. Upon Johnson, as
the Senate Democratic leader,
presses day by day and hour
by hour the weight of ulti
mate responsibility for all
that Congress does and leaves
undone over the whole legis
lative field.
Kennedy has long since
elected to rise or fall upon
his". one big issue, that of
labor reform. Thus the pres
ent maneuvering to find an
acceptable compromise be
tween the varying Senate and
House versions of a labor bin
are of critical meaning to
him. But so are they, too, for
Johnson.- He has, moreover,
another especially delicate is
sue to handle, that of civil
rights.
For the truth is that neither
can afford to see this session
end without a labor reform
bill. Too, both wUl be far
more comfortable if a civil
rights bill is put upon the
books now. The second and
final session of this Congress
wUl meet in 1960 in the acid
ly political atmosphere of a
Presidential election year. If
rational and acceptable ac
tions cannot be taken now on
passionate subject like labor
and civil rights, the 1960 ses
sion of "the 86th" will surely
provide an even more tricky
forum.
.
QO, circumstances have put
J Johnson and Kennedy per-
petuaUy on a firing line
where no troops come to their
relief. The other Presidential
aspirants are in comparative
shelter, none more so than
the fifth distinct Democratic
possibility, Adlai E. -Steven
son. Our of public office, Mr.
Stevenson can remain far
from the battle.
So, too, or at least com
paratively, can both Repub
lican aspirants, Vice-President
Richard M. Nixon and Gov.
Nelson Rockefeller of New
York.
Mr. Nixon is little seen
around the Senate. His Mos
cow mission and the like
largely removed him from the
bear pit of national domestic
issues.
Governor RockfeUer's posi
tion has, of course, done the
same for him.
(Copyright, 1959, by United
Feature Syndicate. Inc.)
Lippmanr
Debre is not the voice of Gen
de Gaulle, and that all the
opinions of M. Debre are not
also the real opinions of Gen.
de Gaulle. This is a necessary
assumption. Otherwise, it is
hard to see how our two gov
ernments are to understand
each other on the most diffi
cult subject of the coming
talks, which is the rebellion in
Algeria.
If M. Debre's speech means
what his word say, he is de
manding a free hand in Al
geria based on the unqualified
support of France's allies. "It
is for a renovated France to
make her allies understand
that she has the right to de
mand from aU their most com
plete support . . ." This is
going pretty far. We are to
sign 'a blank check which
would then be filled in at will
by M. Debre's government.
THIS is quite impossible, and
all true friends of France
and of the ancient alliance be
tween France and America are
in duty bound to tell M. Debre
what are some of the realities
of the problem. The crucial
one is that this country cannot
and will not give its "most
complete support" to a war
which is conducted without
consultation with us by M.
Debre's government in its un
easy and clandestine relation
ships with the extremists in
Algiers.
For this war is capable of
spreading to Tunisia and to
Morocco and of bringing about
an irreparable break between
the West and the predomi
nately friendly Moslems of
North Africa. We are bound
to keep our independent posi
tion and to avoid being en
tangled in a political policy
and in a military strategy
which seems to be dictated by
pressures upon the govern
ment in Paris.
MOREOVER, there are not,
I think, any responsible
Americans who believe that
the rebellion can be ended by
military victory plus welfare
measures. They believe that
Ithe rebellion in Algeria, like
In the Day's Hews
By FRANK JENKINS
There's NEWS as this is
written.
Big-news-it's RAINING
Glory be!
WHY IS THAT big news?
John B. Bogart, who was
city, editor of the New York
Sun from 1873 to 1890, ex
plained it this way: "When a
dog bites a man, that is not
news, because it happens so
often. But if a man bites a
dog, that IS news."
Around these parts, rain
hasn't been happening very
often. PracticaUy since the
time whereof the memory of
man runneth not to the con
trary thereof, the' precipita
tion total for the stream year.
wmca uegau fast ucraDer i,
has stood at about 5.8 inches.
That's hardly enough to see. .
CONTINUING in the lyric
vein- ; "
Back in May of the year
1901, Harper's Magazine print
ed a lilting little poem entitled
April Rain. It was written by
Robert Loyeman, and it start
ed off like' this:
"It is not raining rain to me,
"It's raining daffodils;
"In every dimpled drop I
see
"Wild flowers on the hills."
HERE in the high desert, we
can share Poet Loveman's
vision of wild flowers on the
hills. But, now that it is rain
ing at last, we can see more
than that.
We can see (in our mind's
eye) lush fall pastures, with
cattle wading around in grass
maybe up to their knees.
We can see F I L L E D-UP
WATER RESERVOIRS.
Over here in the high des
ert, water is GOLD. No placer
miner ever valued the nuggets
in the riffles any more highly
than we value the liquid nug
gets that faU from the sky
when the elements are in a
kindly mood.
VESTERDAY the world was
less bright. If we sang at
all, after seeing our monthly
water bin, we were inclined
to chant the ribald song that
goes:
"Oh, 'tain't gonna rain no
mo', no mo',
"Oh, 'tain't gonna rain no
mo,
"And how in the heck
"Can I wash my neck
"If 'tain't gonna rain no
mo'?"
" Today we can wash our
necks.
every similar rebellion for the
past half century, will end
onl when the French govern
ment does what the British
government has learned to do,
to recognize the genuineness
of the demand of the rebels
for a new status. We do not
believe that France can pacify
and retain Algeria by a policy
of military paternalism.
For these reasons, the de
gree of our support of France
in Algeria is bound to depend
on whether France adopts a
policy which, as we see it,
promises tar work. Until there
is such a policy which we can
believe in, the most we can do,
and the most that France
should expect of us, is an at
titude of benevolent neutral
ity and of discreet abstention.
ALGERIA, though it is the
thorniest question, is by no
means the only one which
troubles Franco - American re
lations. One of the others is
the French view that we
ought to share our nuclear
secrets with France as we do
with Great Britain, and thus
spare the money and the
trouble of developing her own
nuclear weapons.
The President may find that
here he has some smaU room
for negotiating a kind of token
concession. But we would de
ceive ourselves if we thought
that Congress, which has the
last word, is going to change
the law in order to promote
France to the rank of. a nu
clear power. In this respect
Congress will have the over
whelming support of Ameri
can public opinio n, which
thinks that three nuclear pow
ers are more than enough, and
to go on from here to include
France, West Germany, and
China, would be very much
worse. '
The best prospect, it seems
to me, is on the third point
which troubles Gen. de Gaulle.
This is the fact that we do not
consult him before taking ac
tions like those around the
offshore islands of China and
the landing in .Lebanon. It
might be a good thing, in my
view, if we offered France and
Great Britain a pledge always
to consult them, unless we are
the victims of. a surprise at
tack, before taking actions
which could lead to war any
where in the world.
This would te a recognition
of the fact that France and
Great Britain are world pow
ers in the sense that there can
be no war anywhere in which
they are not involved. Because
of this fact they have a special
right to be consulted and to
participate in the great decis
ions not only within NATO
but all over the globe,
(c) 1959 New York Herald
Tribune Inc.
POTLUCK
(By M-T Staff and
Contributors)
An intriguing fish story is
making the rounds, and since
we got it fourth or fifth hand
we won't, vouch for its relia
bility.
It was twighlight - the
spooky hour-and a fly caster
whizzed his bait toward a dull
murky lake.
A bat shot out of the dusk
and grabbed the fly in mid
air. The fisherman was startled
but he reeled in the faneer!
creature and tried to free it.
It was difficult to see in the
darkening light thoueh. m
he toook his gear over to the
car ana turned on the head
lights. . J
He unhooked the bat but
instead of flyine awav it
crawled through the grill of
nis car.
That's aU we heard.
But our imagination is
working overtime.
We're afraid that bat is stiU
under the hood of his car.
And lately we've heard
strange and eerie tales about
Jackson county. We've heard
that in the evenings, on dark
nights with no moon, a large
metal thing swoops and flies
through the air, preying upon
smaller creatures.
We've heard that four
Isettas have disappeared and
that tiny Volkswagens shiver
with fright when they're
parked outside overnight.
Many motorcycles have left
the valley.
Power mowers can no long
er be heard.
But then again, maybe
the fisherman just opened
up his hood and then went
back and caught his limit. '
Our Droofrearler. a nVilln.
sophical sort, says, "Astrolo
gers claim that people born
during the month of August
re very impatient, l sup
pose that's because thev didn't
want to wait around until La
bor Day."
We overheard a couple
of native Montanans dis
cussing the Yellowstone '
earthquake and listened to
them decide that quakes
' generally are infrequent up
that way.
It reminds us-by contrast :
-of a California mother's
advice to a young child: '
"Remember now, when you
go outside be sure to hold
on to something!"
'
We understand the Russians
are telling this joke: "
"There are two kinds of
people in the United States:
optimists and passimists. The
optimists are teaching their
children Russian; the pessi
mists are teaching them Chi
nese." So THAT'S why we can't
understand the kids anymore.
Like crazy.
-
And you know that misery
loves ...
A week ago a group (said
to be too old for that sort of
thing) was driving back from
a hike up Mt. McLaughlin
when they came across a car
stopped with a flat tire.
They were pooped but the
gentleman with the flat had
on a clean suit so they
stopped and offered assist
ance. "Thanks," he said ruefully,
"but I guess I can handle it."
They drove on and sure
enough, ten minutes later
they had a blowout.
Did we mention that they
were tired?
At any rate, they climbed
out to survey the damage just
as the gentleman with the
now-dirty suit drove by.
"Need any help?" he asked.
"No," they said ruefully,
"we'll take care of it."
Moral: the pioneer days are
past but two thing a man will
still take care of himself are
his flat tire and his hangover.
And of course, the bats
he catches when he's out
fishing.
It is entirely possible that
there won't be any "centen
nial" beards left at all after a
while.
But one still spots an occa
sional sort of lonely one on
the street. And we're still
pretty well fixed for them at
the Mail Tribune. Our city
editor still has his, and it's
getting pretty well along
down his chest, now. Our pho
tographer likewise has a
beard", but he's started trim
ming it occasionally, and he
no longer has the mustache
that once went with it.
Down in the printing de
partment there are, at last
count, only two beards left
both very impressive.
Sic transit gloria hirsute.
TRUMAN AND BENNY
Hollywood - (DPD - A widely
known amateur musician, for
mer President Harry Truman,
will team up with another
amateur musician of note,
Comedian Jack Benny, Oct.
18 on television. Truman will
be a guest on Benny's show
on the Columbia Broadcasting
System TV network.