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Dennis wanted to stay home without a sitter.
When he did, he learned about being alone.
"Home is where we have a chance to learn
from our mistakes, and be loved in spite of
them."
"Let me try! Let me do it!" is the chorus
of childhood, and it's a wonderful, gallant
announcement of growing independence.
This willingness to try deserves respect.
Almost from birth, children tackle what to
them are monumental challenges with mag
nificent courage, ambition, and persistence.
If we watch for and encourage signs of
eagerness to try in the very young, we will
encounter fewer problems of cooperation
through the difficult teens.
Signs of a child's readiness show in many
ways. In his second year. Billv. until then an
enthusiastic eater, made every meal a fight.
He would knock the spoon aside and spill
his milk on the floor. He wasn't rejecting his
food; he was objecting to being spoon-fed.
He wanted to try for himself.
ciiiy wasn't up to this new skill, but peace
was restored when his mother let him try.
a little while, some of his food was
wasted and he and his high chair needed
mopping after meals. But his mother was
rewarded, and so was he. hv his hannv mood
a"d his increasing competence.
takes time and trouble to let a child
y. And it's easy for busv mothers to fall
nto the habit of whipping efficiently through
some task instead of letting the child fumble
"essay through it.
me squirt the water," begged four-
year-old Jackie, reaching for the garden hose
in his mother's hands.
"Mommy can do it better. Don't touch.
You'll just get wet," his mother replied, not
realizing that such negative answers dis
courage a child and frustrate his eagerness
to try.
Her answer was also a direct invitation to
disobedience. How did she know he couldn't
do it until he tried, reasoned Jackie. It looked
so easy, and so fascinating! When he was
alone, Jackie couldn't resist turning on the
hose. But remembering her principal objec
tion, he concentrated so carefully on not
splashing himself that he drenched the car
and knocked down the nasturtiums.
"I can do it! I'm not getting wet!" he cried
triumphantly when his mother came running.
She had to make a quick choice between
emphasizing the damage he had done, his
"real achievement in not splashing himself,
or the punishment he deserved for disobey
ing her." A little of each was the constructive
way out.
"That's good! Next time IH let you help
me. But look what you've done to the poor
flowers. And the car is so wet, we can't go
for a ride now!" said his mother, neatly
making the point that he had punished him
self for his own mistake.
Outright disobedience doesn't fall into the
category of mistakes that can be permitted,
but it's our job as parents to give enough
opportunity and encouragement, along with
necessary restraints, so temptation to disobey
is not irresistible.
(Continued)
Betrayed by a
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Family Weekly. July 12. 195$
21
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