Quotes.
The man on the other end of the theatrical agent's telephone
said he had a terrific act which he wanted to sell.
"What's the act?" the agent asked.
"I swallow yard-long swords!"
"But there's nothing sensational about that," the agent replied.
"Wait! Listen!" the voice cried. "I'm only 33 inches tall!"
Quote
A lot of young men who think they have a good line wake up to
find that the hook is on the wrong end.
D. O. Flynn
A farmer, victim of an automobile accident, was suing for
damages. The defendant's lawyer pounded at one point "At the
time of the accident," he shouted at the farmer, "you denied you
were injured. Now you say that you were. Why! Why!"
"It was like this," the fanner said laconically. "Your client's
car knocked me, my horse, and my wagon into a ditch. What a
mess! The horse on his back, legs in the air. Me on my back, legs
in air. Wagon overturned, wheels spinning. Well, this motorist
looks us all over and sees my horse has a broken leg. He goes to his
car, gets a pistol, and shoots him. Then he comes to me and says,
'Now how about you? You hurt, too?'"
In Case of Emergency
The watch I have is waterproof,
Which means it cannot rust.
It's also sealed in such a way
That it will keep out dust.
It winds its spring all by itself
And, naturally, it's shockproof.
I only hope they haven't gone
And also made it hock-proof.
Francis O. Walsh
I division loeC rT'IAX
'I assume, then, that deduction will not be allowed."
Auto manufacturers are committing the
same old mistake this year making wind
shield wipers that snag parking tickets.
Noel Wical
jj
"Edward is very fussy about having fresh eggs."
Memoirs of a Kid Watcher
With the advent of Spring, it's good to see this place of ours once
more teeming with small creatures who have been absent during the
Winter, presumably in warmer climes.
For example, I noted recently a red-capped lawn-walker. The
lawn walker appears just as the frost begins to melt in the ground,
leaving lawns in a spongy consistency. Employing a shuffling motion
combined with brisk heel action, and leaving indentations at every
stride, he's a cheerful and tireless worker. His chief nourishment, as
far as I can observe, is bubble gum.
He was followed several days later by a bare-headed bud-beater
about four-and-a-half feet in height. The bud-beater, you may
know, carries a stick and goes about lashing at crocus and daffodil
buds, keeping at it methodically until all plants are de-budded. He
seems to nest in a house down the block.
The same day, I discovered a gray-coated cyclist, a relative of
the lawn-walker except that he uses a tricycle to spiral about the
ground. He was observed . . .
But wait! Isn't that a tow-haired tree-carver I see out my
window? Yes, it is a female who looks familiar. For the past four
or five Springs, just when the sap is beginning to run, she has
occupied herself carving initials and various designs in the bark of
our tree. This is a specimen I would like to catch. Excuse me a
moment, will you?
Parke Cummings
wv.Tvr.jr.-:--
qilU)IMtfDM)RCE
( Continued )
Paul and Ward. I knew and respect
ed this, and because the boys were
always our first concern, I found
that we were able to consult and co
operate whenever necessary. Broken
bones, Summer camp, allowances,
college, careers we were never di
vided over Ward aad Paul."
How one solves specific problems
probably isn't too important, for each
family's circumstances are different.
Neither Joan nor her husband re
married, so there was never a ques
tion of name changes, stepparents,
stepbrothers, or readjusted alimony.
Yet specific and complex problems
are far less important than the inner
security which comes from the love
of parents, even parted ones.
Divorce isn't easy for anyone, cer
tainly not for children. The prob
lems and hazards are many, but
they can be met and overcome. Joan
said recently, "For me, and I'm sure
for John, too, the best proof that we
made a success of divorce, if not of
marriage, lies in the fact that our
boys have gone farther in life than
we did. You see, they are both ma
ture human beings. That means they
are loving husbands as well as fine
fathers. And that's the brightest pos
sible future for children of divorce."
Family Weekly, April 26. 1959
A J! dy,
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