An Eastern tourist stopped his car near an Indian
hogan in northern Arizona where an old Navajo
was selling necklaces. The tourist pointed to one
necklace made of many odd-looking teeth. "What
are those?" he asked.
"Grizzly bear teeth," the Indian said.
"I suppose they have the same importance for
Indians that pearls have for white men, eh?"
"Don't think so," the red man replied. "Anybody
can open an oyster."
Oren Arnold
Out of the mouths of babes comes most of what
they've just been fed.
Francis O. Walsh
A hard-pressed young man visited a loan shark
to raise some fast cash. The loan shark was willing
to part with the money but at 9 percent interest.
"That's usury!" the borrower cried. "Don't you
know how the Lord looks down on usury?"
"Yes," the loan shark replied, "but just remem
ber this when the Lord looks down on a 9, it
looks like a 6."
'If there's one thing I dislike, it's a gabby Indian."
Photo Freeze
Snap our picture if you wish.
Hold the camera steady!
But please, oh, please, do not say
"smile!"
Until you're really ready!
S. Omar Barker
The doctor hadn't had a full night's sleep in a
week so he told his wife to stall off those inevitable
night callers. About midnight, a woman patient
phoned, and the wife dutifully reported that the
doctor was out and would not return until morning.
The caller then explained her ailment, and the
wife asked her to wait a moment. She whispered
the symptoms to the doctor who whispered back
instructions. The wife then relayed the information
to the woman patient.
'Thank you," replied the caller, "but are you
sure that man with you knows enough to tell me
what to take?"
The woman who looks poured into her clothes
usually has a little running over.
Kenneth J. Shively
When a little donkey met one of those small
foreign cars on the road, it gasped, "What are you!"
"I am an automobile," said the tiny car with
pride. "And what are you?"
"Me?" said the incredulous donkey. "Why, then
I must be a horse!"
Nuggets
The Bowler's Dictionary
HEAD PIN Man who goes bowling more than once a week without his wife.
SPLIT Easiest way to settle up at the end of the night.
OFF NIGHT When somebody else keeps score.
PINS 1 Those things standing at the end of the alley when you're through.
FOLLOW THROUGH. .What you do when your thumb sticks in the ball.
SPARE Guy with low average who shows up every night just in case.
SLOW GAME A good excuse for getting home at 2 a.m.
PERFECT GAME A game in which the bowler has oh, why bother!
George C. Schlegel
All She Can Raise Is Cain
My wife adores the growing things
But couldn't sprout a bean,
While I despise a garden
But my thumb is Kelly green.
So what results? Well, every Spring
My busy little bee
Gets out the spade and rake and hoe
And starts to work on me!
Hal Chadwick
Retirement
( Continued)
a little furniture-making shop where retired peo
ple can work just long enough to earn up to the
$100 monthly allowed without forfeiting Social
Security benefits.
Only retired part-time workers are employed,
and what's also unusual about the shop is how the
work is done. This is no mass production line. Each
elderly artisan does the whole job of making a
piece of furniture, from choosing the lumber for it
to putting the finish on. He works at his own pace,
much as if he were working in his own home
workshop. The system is a delight to the older
workman; the result is a delight to the customer.
Although semi-retirement plans are common in
Florida for one reason, because so many older
people have retired there only to fret at idleness
they are getting under way elsewhere, too.
One of the most influential promises to be Chi
cago's Senior Achievement. It was founded as a
nonprofit organization in 1955, with the help of
local business firms which contributed power sew
ing machines, wood- and metal-working machines,
drafting boards, and other equipment.
Senior Achievement seeks subcontracting jobs
often, the small ones that a company or its sup
pliers find inconvenient or uneconomical to handle.
In its workshops, S.A. has packed candy for one
Chicago department store, produced special pic
ture frames for another, and turned out small
quantities of metal products for a mail-order
house. A Detroit car maker has fanned out to it
small machine-design drafting jobs.
In addition, S.A. has an out-service system
which appears to be opening up a whole new ave
nue of opportunity; for it lends retired accountants,
bookkeepers, engineers, secretaries, janitors, and
others to firms needing part-time workers. Not
only do employers get experienced help when they
need it, they're also freed of difficulties that often
stand in the way of hiring part-time people. Under
the out-service plan, S.A. is paid by the employers
while retaining the workers on its own payroll,
thus relieving employers of insurance, pension,
workmen's compensation, and other red tape.
Through this plan, more than 100 retired persons
already have found not only the opportunity for
extra income, but for keeping busy and feeling
useful. A former engineer for a can company went
through two years of idle retirement before going
to work at S.A. supervising production. "Without
this," he reports, "I'd go nuts. Even a few days
after I retired, I found myself sleeping late, taking
walks, exercising my dog, hanging around, just
aching for something to occupy my time."
On loan to a LaSalle, 111., brokerage firm is an
81-year-old man, a former department-store
owner, now happy as a part-time office worker.
There's every indication, Senior Achievement be
lieves, that its type of operation could be adapted
to work in many other communities.
Obviously, there's no single panacea for all re
tirement problems nor is there ever likely to be.
But a start has been made toward providing help.
And the important fact is that industry, which can
provide the help in a great variety of ways, has
chosen to tackle the job.
Family Weekly, March 29. 1959 . 9