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U.S. Steel Hour Offering
Said inoffensive Nothing
r Pi
By WILLIAM EWALD
New York (DPD There are
two kinds of nothings big
nothings and little nothings.
Eriu- I ing is offen
sive and the
little nothing
a is inoffensive.
wednes day
night's CBS
TV U.S. Steel
Hour offering,
"The Square
Egghead,"
William Ewald was an inof
fensive little nothing.
Louis Pelletier's story about
a group of businessmen who
are shipped off to college one
summer to complete their edu
cation certainly was a useful
take-off point for a comedy.
But Pelletier's exercise was
almost painfully formula
strapped. Tom Ewell, in a typical
Tom Ewell role the slightly
perplexed wolf f ell in love
with June Lockhart who was
enmeshed in a typical June
Lockhart part, the prim
schoolteacher, primed for
love.
Stereotypes Come Out
Then like a neat little row
of ducks, all of the stereotypes
came trotting out. There was
the sexy blonde stripteaser, a
friend of Ewell's, who made
Miss Lockhart jealous; there
was the young meanie buck
ing for the job Ewell wanted;
and there was, of course, the
wispy semi-comic professor of
Wild West Show
On Portland Street
Portland-(UPD-A Multnomah
county sheriff's patrol car
and two horses staged a wild
west show on Sandy blvd.
here Wednesday that was not
part of the Oregon Centen
nial. Deputies Richard Secanti
and K. C. - Robertson were
called to assist in capturing
the runaway animals. When
they approached to where the
horses were munching grass
behind a house at Northeast
111th and Sandy, the horses
fled.
The officers spurred their
sedan into the chase and forc
ed the horses to the side of
the road and into a service
station.
The horses were claimed by
their owner.
pnnosopny. in the movies,
the professor is the one who
jitterbugs in the last scene
when all the bright young stu
dents save the college from
going under by putting on a
swinging musical show when
all the time, the stiff old dean
thought they were going to do
Antigone.
There was even, heaven
help us, the scene in the col
lege library where the loving
pair start yelling at each oth
er while the librarian shushes
madly.
Brainpainted by bosh like
this, I sometimes suspect that
no one in TV has ever really
safaried into the academic
jungle. The groves of academe
are almost always presented
as gentle, mellow and slightjy
sleepy, peopled by innocents
tuned in to life by remote con
trol. As a matter of fact, the
academic life has always
struck me as a pretty fierce
go, a rough and tumble cam
paign, a kind of Madison Ave
nue with books
No matter. It was an hour
poured out of a mold, but it
was not painful, merely de
pressing. Ewell and Miss
Lockhart labored skillfully
under the circumstances and
Roxanne Arlen as the strip
teaser wiggled to fair effect.
MAIL TRIBUNE, Medford, Oregon, Thursday, March 12, 1959 7
Rockefeller Stock
Soars Wilh Budget
Albany, N. Y. -(DPD- Gov.
Nelson A. Rockefeller's polit
ical fortunes rose today with
the passage of his 82 billion
budget in l the state legisla
ture.
The Rockefeller balanced
budget, including $234 million
in new taxes, was pushed
through the state Assembly
Wednesday night by a vote
of 78-70, two more than the
required 76 votes needed for
passage. It had passed the Sen
ate earlier.
Supporters of the governor
said his victory over rebels
in his own Republican party
in the first major political
battle of his term had
strengthened his chances for
'the 1960 GOP , presidential
nomination.
The budget bill puts New
Yorkers on a pay-as-you-go in
come tax program to start
April 1. Income taxes for
1958 were cancelled. Under
the governor's program taxes
were increased on motor fuel,
cigarettes and estates.
Washington- fisheries pro
duce about five-ninths of the
total supply of salmon for
U.S. consumer markets.
Try and Stop Me
By BENNETT CERF-
DIZZY DEAN, one of the all-time baseball greats, tells this
story on himself. When he was pitching for an Arkansas
hillbilly nine in his salad days, a rival outfit, determined to
undo him, sprinkled broken
glass around the mound.
Diz, barefoot, hurled six
shutout innings without a
squawk, but then he stalked
over to the rival manager
and grumbled, "Joe, you
just gotta get this broken
glass away from here. It's ,
cuttin' up the ball!"
Can you explain the dif
ference between a hurri
cane, a typhoon, a tornado
and a cyclone? Well, there
really isn't any. A severe
storm and wind in the West
Indies is called a hurricane; in the Far East it's a typhoon; in
the Indian Ocean it's called a cyclone, and in the U. S. A. it's
usually referred to as a tornado.
When countless quiz shows were Infesting TV, a contestant was
asked, "What's a metaphor?" He stunned both M.C and audience
by responding, To keep cows in."
1959. by Bennett Cert. Distributed by KinR Featerw Syndicate.
Plan Drafted To
Send Test Convoy
Through Blockade
Washington - (UPD - The
United States has drafted a
plan for sending a test convoy
through a Berlin blockade it
the Communist impose one.
The need "for a test convoy
would arise if Russia abdi
cated its Berlin responsibil
ities, signed a treaty with
East Germany and gave the
East Germans control of traf
fic routes to Berlin.
Blueprints Exist
It can be reported that
blueprints for the test convoy
and for putting America's
330,000 military men in Eu
rope on increased alert now
exist. Further, they can be
adapted to whatever needs
emerge from Allied confer
ences. The plan as it now stands
apparently calls for sending
a normal size unarmed con
voy of four to ten trucks over
the 110-mile road from Helm
stedt in West . Germany
through East Germany to
West Berlin.
Tank Use Possible
If the convoy were stopped,
it might then be strengthened
with tanks and go ahead.
What would happen if it drew
fire from East German guards
was not known.
It can be said that there
are plans for Western mili
tary forces to establish con
trol of the highway through
East Germany if high policy
dictates.
.The increased alert presum
ably would apply to French
and British forces- as well as
to U. S. Army and Air Forces
in Europe. The U. S. Army
has about 230,000 men in Eu
rope, of whom 175,000 com
prise the 7th Army.
MILK
80
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