1
Try and Stop Me
By BENNETT CERF
NOT ACCORDING TO WEBSTER:
EOCKSHOP: The loansomest place in town.
AMAZON: First part of a sentence. Example: Well Amazon
of a trun!
it
CENTAUR: A man with a
horse where his pants ought
to be.
SOUTHPAW: A southern
father.
GENTLEMAN: A man uho
never, unintentionally, gives
offense.
COUNTERFEIT MONEY:
Pseudough.
FISHING: An uninhabited
body of water completely
surrounded by liars in old
clothes.
John Wanamaker, credited
by many with revolutionizing department store advertising and pro
motion in America, was aware that much of his effort went for
naught "I know," he wrote, "that fully half the money I spend on
advertising is wasted but I can never find out which half."
C 1959. by Bennett Cerf. Distributed by Kin Features Syndicate.
In the Day's News
By FRANK JENKINS
I think we might profitably
consider for a moment the
case of Mrs. Anna Wasylkow,
a civilian clerk in the navy
who. answered the office
phone ONL MINUTE AFTER
CLOSING TIME and got into
deep hot water as a result
It happened like this:
The clock struck quitting
time. She put on her -coat.
The phone rang. Instead of
ignoring it, she answered it.
Trouble started the next day.
Her immediate superior
called her on the carpet for
disregard of regulations.
Two weeks later, she was
reprimanded by the superior
next highest up the totem
pole and told that if she did
such a thing again within a
year her "repetition of the of
fense might result in applica
tion of higher penalties."
rpHE reprimand was a black
mark on her record and as
long as the black mark was
there she would have trouble
obtaining promotion. So she
APPEALED. On the first
level, her appeal was denied
and she was told she was
GUILTY OF INSUBORDI
NATION. That got her dander up.
So she appealed to the sec
retary of the Navy, Mr.
Thomas Gates, who quashed
the charges against her and
sent her back to work with a
pat on the back for doing her
work as a "good and faithful
servant should.
COMMENT?
Well, thank the Lord,
SOMEBODY had some sense.
Congratulations, Mr. Gates.
CONTINUING this sympo
sium on human problems,
a 20-year-old former mental
patient admitted to Sacra
mento police that he shot his
parents to death because
"they made me practice 10
nours a aay on the accor
dion."
He said he shot his father
with a pistol as the father
was sitting in an armchair in
the living room and then shot
his mother in the back of the
head as she fled from the
room.
IIHAT to do in such cases?
" cases?
Well, the problem has been
with us a long time.
rRO-MAGNON man, accord-
mg to records in caves in
the south of France, put all
imperfect infants to death,
the idea being improvement
of the race. That may have
been as long as a million
years ago.
jviore recent! y say a
couple of thousand years ago
the Spartans exposed im
perfect, along with the old
and the infirm, on the moun
tain tops, rney, too, were
seeking improvement of the
race.
Something New, Old is
Theme on SOC Campus
I
T ISN'T the intention of
this piece to endorse these
older methods. They are
cited merely to prove that
the problem is an old one.
HORSE HALTS OPEAR
' Como, Italy-OIPD-A long in
termission was required to set
things right in a production
of the opera "Elixir of Love"
after a horse drawing a car
riage fell into the orchestra
pit. No one was injured. When
the opera was resumed, the
carriage scene was elimi-
I nated.
Ashland- "Something new
and something old" is the
theme for Southern Oregon
college these days as Med
ford Architect Robert J.
Keeney was appointed to
draw up plans for a new
$520,000 dormitory for wom
en, and a search for the bones
of a prehistoric mammoth un
earthed on campus last week
was continued.
To be located south of the
recently-completed Siskiyou
hall for men, and east of In
diana st., the structure will
provide housing accommoda
tions for more than 150 stu
dents. Food service will be av
ailable in the Commons build
ing which was completed last
year.
With the present enrollment
standing at an all-time high
of 1,061 for any winter term,
and a conservative enrollment
estimate of more than 4,500
students by 1970, Elmo N.
Stevenson, college president,
pointed out that all graduates,
southern Oregon citizens, and
be vitally concerned with the
continuance of the current
building program for the col
lege. "This is true of all state
supported institutions of high
er education throughout Ore
gon," Dr. Stevenson explain
ed, "but our situation here is
unusually critical in view of
the fact that southern Oregon
is one of the fastest growing
areas in the state."
Stating that the college ad-
Court Records
to
DISTRICT COURT
James B. Sullivant, failure
dim lights. $5.
Edward D. Brown, no operator's
license, $10-
Harry S. Note, improper lane
changing. $10
Tom Maloney, Grants Pass,
drunk on public highway. S30.
Roger D. Clement, overload, 41.
Peter M. Konkler, violation of
basic rule. $15.
Leland P. Lovejoy. failure to
make traffic stop. $10.
Charles R. Wilson, failure to
dim lights, $7.50.
Cecil M. Swan, failure to dim
lights, $7.50.
Charon K. McNeil, no operator's
license. $10.
Francis J. West, violation of ba
sic rule, $15.
James E. Hold, no hunting li
cense. $30.
Robert J. Davison, truck speed
ing. $15.
Robert A. Wilcox, failure to
make traffic stop, $10.
Robert F. Broomfield, violation
of basic lule. $15.
Aubrey E. Taylor, violation of
basic rule, $15.
Warren D. Kress, no. vehicle li
cense, $10.
Marvin Maloney Jr., no opera
tor's license on person, $101.
Harry I. Hogan Jr., no public
utilities commission permit, $15.
HARRIMAN TAKES TRIP
New York -UPD- Former
New York Gov. Averell Har
riman and his wife were to
leave last night by plane for a
month's tour of India. Harri
man, former U.S. ambassador
to Russia, was defeated last
November by Nelson A. Rock
efeller in his bid for a second
term as. New York's chief executive.
O vVv HEART WINNING Co7
Hundreds of Suggestions at
HUDSON'S
PHARMACY
I For Him!
For Her!
Our suggestion is for you to drop in and
browse around or let us help you select
a suitable gift sure to please your Valen
tine. Our store is "chock full" of wonder
ful gifts for "her," for "him" and for
the children.
Toiletries Valentine Cards
Cosmetics Perfumes .
Stationery Smokers Needs
Camera Supplies Misc. Items
Our selection of Perfumes, Toiletries, and Bath
Accessories include such famous names as
Lucien Lelong Dana
Guerlain Herb Farms
D'Orsay Giro
Worth Revlon
Prince Matchabelli
CANDY
CHOOSE FROM SAYLORS, ROGERS'
BROWN & HALEY or HOEFLER'S
Delicious Chocolates and Assortments!
A welcome gift for everyone all boxed
and ready for yoor favorite Valentine!
FREE
Gift Wrapping
Plenty of Easy
Parking
613 East Main Street
Open today 10 A.M. to 9 P.M.
Phone SP 3-5345
Weekdays 8:30 A.M. to. 10 P.M.
ministration, in coordination
with the state board, had now
entered into the third year
of a projected 20 year expan
sion plan, President Steven
son added that the plan was
one of essential needs for es
sential services and that much
saving of tax monies could
result if a crash program of
building were not precipitated
at some later date by failure
of the legislature to act now
in the interests of long-term
economy.
Cove Junction VWW1
BuyVFW Property
Cave Junction The local
unit of the Veterans of World
War I have purchased the Vet
erans of Foreign Wars prop
erty on Caves Highway, ac
cording to WWI Commander
Otto Tryon.
The property was original
ly purchased by the VFW in
1947. The hall, which served
as a meeting place for both
veterans' organizations, was
built the following year. In
addition to the hall, other im
provements on the 2- acres
include a large concrete slab
used for outdoor dances.
Officials Set Meeting
With Edward Syring
Edward Syring, state driv
er's license manager, is to
meet with Medford officials
Monday at 11 a.m. in city
hall to discuss licensing pro
cedures. Among those expected to
attend are Municipal Judge
Alan Holmes, City Attorney
Joel Eeeder, Police Chief
Charles Champlin, Capt.
Clyde Fichtner and LU. Rol
lie Pean and Jack McMillan
of the police department and
Medford Safety Council representatives.
fH ED MILO GRAHAM
Sebring, Fla.-flJPi-Fred Milo
Graham, 87, retired chief re
search engineer for the Penn
sylvania Railroad, died Fri
day after a brief illness. A
leading railroad mathemati
cian, he was an authority on
dynamic stresses in track and
bridge structures. Graham re
tired in 1942 after 47 years
with the railroad.
HELP US!
We Need Clothing, Shoes.
Dishes, Furniture. We Pick Up.
HELP OTHERS! .
The Salvation Army
SPrinq 3-7335
MAIL TRIBUNE, Medford, Oregon, Sunday, February 8, 1959 $
More than 750,000 Ameri
cans are confined to mental
hospitals.
Europe meets Asia at the
Bosphorus In Istanbul, Turkey.
PLANER
CLEAN, SELECT QUALITY
Fill Your Storage Now
Big Double or Single Loads
MEDFORD FUEL CO.
ESBIISHEP 18"
jcREEN
STAMPS
Phone SP 2-2111
Court and McAndrews
FREE PARKING
WiVM P-3 n-V 117 5 CENTRAL
J WW O L3 UJ 1 J I V OPEN MONDAY NIGHTS 1U 9
'I fife
fmfwWMh 1 Z2r the length you want! . Io"
rl ""Ip FEATURES OF QUALITY) ONLY $5 DOWN M (0) 6-FOOT
H MATCHING ARMCHAIR ItXiTZ . fiS '69.95 . U " .
To complete your ill 9e,her- Thy ar your 9uoran,M h 7 7 199.95 Sovt 30! Your cho,c of 3 differen
r ' j for years of perfect satisfaction. J 'r1 lengths to solve any furnishing probleml
1 1 rOOnt ensemble iH . , , , , h QlZZ-c 239.95 The finest tailoring and construction
M 1 tmM the look and feel of I w , . .. - ... , . ...
fM ' t M w , . Men AC details at this sale price. 38 exciting
Tll ' XVK?" Pi REAL LEATHER , ' ' , ' fj 259.95 colors from which to choose at Wards.
Uli W L wjP$- W are yours with the rich supple lux- . . i p . A truly classic design ... timeless in
i! '$; ' lyyPrkH m ury of U.S. NAUGAHYDE.lt won't rlO- fl 279.95. appeal. Buoyant foam comfort.
down II , HUH , . Jli i i a m n u i ur r - !
SALE! 99'L
Classically designed to match your
sofa in eye appeal and thick, foam
cushioned, luxurious comfort.. In 38
colors. Matching Ottoman 29.95
Reg. 379.95 3 pc. sectional
... the utmost in versatility
Save! Regularly 269.95
Lawson arm hidden bed
Your choice of either
bumper end or arm sec
tions. Foam cushions.1
4-piece, only 399.95
Center sections $60 ea.
95
339
$10 DOWN
Has classic Lawson arm
styling. Full-size inner-'
spring bed.
King size ... 299.95
Matching chair 104.95
95
239
$10 DOWN
Sale! Ideal companion in room
groupings! Regularly 84.95
A beautifully designed oc- mnc
. casional chair, contoured Q
for your sheer relaxing 17
pleasure. Use singly or in powN
pairs. Perfect for fireside.
a. t
Reg. 119.95 de luxe sized
foam cushioned recliner
Has cloud-like deep foam
cushioned comfort plus
man-size proportions. Re
clines by magical spring.
Marching ottoman . 29.95
95
104
$5 DOWN
Regularly 319.95 extra large
deluxe king-size hidden bed'
A beatuiful sofa by day nnQC
a full-size innerspring QQ
bed at night. 38 deco- feVV
rator colors go with any
furnishing scheme.
Versatile, relaxing swivel
rocker; turns, comp. around
Reg. 1 14.95 king-size swivel
rocker for those leisure hours
$10 DOWN
Perfect for living room,
bedroom, or ' den. Moves
from TV-ing to talking with
the greatest of ease! Your
choice of 38 rich colors.
34
95
$5 DOWN
It rocks! It swivels! All the
way 'round. Has cloud-soft
foam cushion. A man-sized
chair with man-sized com
fort. Save at sale price!
99
95
$5 DOWN