Tired? Rundown? Nervous?'
1
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Tiiie" ;
TABLETS
S.S.Sc
WMtt a
la
n
If
Sandpile
Our tiny tot
Would rather squat
In dirt and dig
With some old twig,
Than play in sand
As we had planned.
Marjorie Fuller
How wives all love the
dropper-inner J
Who does his calling
after dinner!
Annie Laurie
Von Tungeln
A refugee couple arrived in the United States
several years ago with one dream to become
citizens. Through much red tape and years
of study, they were patient and hopeful. Then
one day, the husband rushed into the kitchen with
the long-awaited good news.
"Anna! Anna!" he shouted. "At last!
We are Americans!"
"Fine," replied the wife, tying her apron around
him. "Now you wash the dishes."
Munich Review
"It sure ain't no PET, mister. Just step
around behind and she'll prove it!"
An Irishman, Englishman,
and an American were on a
plane flying over the Sahara
desert. As they looked down on the vast empti
ness from the plane windows, the Englishman
said, "A beastly place!"
"The divil's own home," said the Irishman.
"What a parking lot!" exclaimed the Ameri
can. School Activities
In the old days,
folks used to wake up
and say, "Good morn
ing, Lord." Nowadays,
we wake up and say,
"Good lord! Morning!"
Floioline
TV Endings Yet to Come
"Never mind the doc, Tex.
It's too late. Serves me right
for not minding my own
business and trying to stop
the Rafferty gang from run
ning off the Widow Easton's
stock. Oh, well, she's still got majority
control of those 54 oil wells and first
options on the uranium deposit, so let's
forget it."
"All right, cast, let's
have your attention. I've
made
absolutely determined this Broadway
show must not go on. Sure, I'll admit
we're all young and zestful, but the New
Haven reviewers were right. We haven't
got talent."
Family Weekly, September 21, 195
.
"At last! Af
ter years
ruthless driv
ina. they've elected me chairman of the
board of Vastness Enterprises. I've used
friends, then discarded them; I've driven
my competitors to suicide. My assistants
are in sanatoriums. My wife has left me,
and my children loathe me. And what
does it all mean happiness, sheer hap
piness at $200,000 a year!"
"Well, that danged wonder dog has
done it again opened the sluice gates
and Hooded away the whole
durn town. Wonder what
fool thing he'll do next
week?
Parke Cummings
Tim.