vy uuacK" wcfiiwn r-noxos Dy Mori Shapiro
U
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'JV-'ldi ... .a '
I Hope
My Children
Marry
Young"
I Ienry was 32 when he married
ror ten years he had been
mnra than nrnlni.u.
.lwluc m 0r
hrtmp" wp InnlrpH nn i .
, wmi auiiosi as
one of the family. He travp pw i
dilation nf fVinvMirrUKr .
children, and thev fonpht .; u.
cidf him monle m ein 1.!..
" . .mi wi 5u wilii mm on
errands. He caotured them
i.. A. i. 1 1
iy, just as ne capiurea my wife and
accomDlished storvtllpr unA a
erous, understanding friend.
we were aengnted when he manied
a girl nve years younger whom he had
known for several years at his office
l hey had been keeping company tor
six months, and had been in our home
mflnv timpQ TKpu anndnvnr .ntvinlof
ly devoted to each other.
Thats why it was such a shock
when his wife, Jane, phoned us late
one night about a year after they
were married and asked if she might
ji ,
come over ana see us. one was crying
and obviously distressed.
TT l Tl 1 T.
ner siory was mcreaiDie. u was
the story of an arrogant, opinionated
1 1 1 1 J -ir l- 1
iiara-neaaea. seinsn man wno was
, . ...
making no concessions to marriage
and had no intention of chaneine. As
Ions as thines were done his wav. he
was his old charmins self: but when
he was crossed, he was a different
person. Mv wife and I were bewil
dered. Could this be the same Henry
our warm mend tor so many years
Uddlv enough, it was the same
Henry. The difference was in the point
of view. Jane saw him as a husband
while we saw him as a friend. He
was a fine friend and a bad husband.
In retrosnert it's paw to diaSnose his
trouhlp: hp had simnlv waited too
v
long to get married. When he finally
rilri mpntal nonr mortis nan set in
As a rpsult in nnv difference 01
opinion on familv problems, Henry
was comnletelv immovable. He would
n't argue: he simnlv stated his position
and rpfnood in mnvp from it. It W3S
linthinlrahlp in him that, anv other
valid oDinion could exist.
TTAnfir on1 Tina litra in a Sftl't 01
uneasv t.rniv. .Tanp had to decide
whether the marriage meant enough
to her to makp the repeated conces
crot alone With
Henrv in anvthinc other than a per
finoll,r and there the
ii it .1 1
mailer rests tor tne momeni.
Whatever the conclusion, it's a de
cidedly shaky foundation for a mar
riage. Yet, Henry is no isolated case.
I know dozens of others like him
both men and women. And inevitably
the basic cause of their difficulties in
adjusting to marriage is the fact that
they didn't marry young enough.
I hope I've learned a lesson from
watching these experiences unfold.
This may come back to haunt me in
a few years, but I hope my children
now approaching their teens marry
young. I think that the benefits of a
youthful marriage faV outweigh the
difficulties. Among the people we
4 Family Weekly, Srptpmbcr 7. 19$S