mi
Katie's temples T began to throb.
Could it be was there a child
"Mrs. Briggs," the voice continued,
"I'm calling to correct an error." She
paused. It seemed a very long pause.
"You see, Miss Donovan is one of
our younger staff members. When she
met you and your husband, she liked
you so much that she told you what
you hoped to hear that we'd have a
child for you soon." Again she
paused, and Katie waited, her heart
pounding, tears burning her eyes.
Finally Miss Sherwood said, "Miss
Donovan shouldn't have said that. We
can never promise when, not even
vaguely. I thought I should tell you,
so that you wouldn't be holding your
breath anxiously."
"But we are, Miss Sherwood." As
soon as she spoke she regretted it.
"I understand," Miss Sherwood said.
" "Thank you "for " calling," Katitf
murmured, and hung up. So Miss
Sherwood understood, did she? How
could anyone understand? Even Phil
didn't. What had he said, exactly?
That she cared too much that was it.
Tears started, but she squeezed her
eyes shut, refusing to cry. Oh, to be
somebody else! Gwen, for example.
To know that life was beginning, that
love and trust and faith were creating
a child. Katie even envied the months
of ungainliness, the pains.
She went into the bedroom and
drew open a dresser drawer of baby
things she'd been buying for almost
a year, each tiny garment a prayer.
From a corner of the drawer she took
out the box that Gwen had given her
for a first anniversary joke.
The beige-and-blue dress was so
pretty, so delicate, so unworn. She put
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it on over the dress she wore, and
still it was loose.. She gazed at herself
in the full-length mirror.
! atie was about to take it off when
she heard a key in the lock.
A moment later Phil walked
into the bedroom and saw her. He
stopped and all the color drained from
his face, leaving it hard.
Katie could not speak or even go
to him. His lips began to tremble, and
he swallowed hard, looking like a
small frightened boy having trouble .
with his Adam's apple.
"Darling " Katie began.
"Take it off!"
She started toward him but he
backed away, his voice rising. "I said
take it off!"
She obeyed, while he stood im
mobile. She folded the dress. "I'm
g-giving it to Gwen tomorrow." Her
voice shook.' "I wanted to wear it
just once for a moment."
She moved into his arms, needing
his strength. "Oh, Phil, the agency
called " And she told him what Miss
Sherwood had said, while he stared
at her lifelessly, saying nothing.
And suddenly Phil's face crumpled,
his voice broke. "Why?" he demanded.
"Why? I don't understand."
She couldnlt answer. She could only
see the piteous lines in his face, the
misery she had never noticed before
because she had been so concerned
with her own feelings!
Why, he cares as much as I do. He
cares too much, too.
Now she knew what he'd meant
in begging her not to care too much.
If you cared too much, you could kill
yourself with bitterness and heart
break. You mustn't. Instead, you had
to go on, learning to wait, learning to
live from day to day until the joyous
time came.
You had to accept life, unless you
wanted to die a new death every day.
You simply must not try too hard or
care too much.
"Phil," she said, with a smile she
didn't believe she could manage. "You
care too much. Darling, don't burn
yourself out."
He stared in astonishment, as
though it were impossible that it
should be she who was comforting
him, Then he took her in his arms,
possessed by a certain new strength.
"Do you mean what you're saying,
Katie?"
Into his ear she said, "I'm going to
buy baby oil and talcum powder
tomorrow. You know, the agency
could call us soon, no matter what
Miss Sherwood said."
His arms tightened around her. She
knew their marriage had never been
so beautiful as now; they had never
been so close.
"After all," Katie added, "we've got
to be ready."
Phil held her away from him for a
moment, studying her face as though
he saw it for the first time. Then an
exultant smile lit his own features.
"You and I are ready for any
thing," he said.
- i
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-
Family Weekly, August 17, 1958
IS
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