Try and Stop Me
By BENNETT CERF
A SELF-SATISFIED dinner partner of Mrs. Patrick Camp
bell once asked her, "Why do you suppose it is that women
are so utterly lacking in a sense of humor?"
God did it on purpose,"
.without batting an eyelash,
"so that we may love you
!inen instead of laughing at
you."
From the collection of J. E.
Hendewon, of Montreal:
All men are cast in the
same mould, but some are
mouldier than others.
Hell hath no fury like a
woman's corns.
When you put a new man
On an important job, watch
carefully to see if he grows
or just swells.
If only I knew where I was to die, I would never go near the
place.
Indigestion is the inability of a round stomach to adopt itself
to a square meal.
"Mama," gloated Papa, "our baby's going to be an auctioneer
when he grows up. He just put Uncle Joe's watch under the
hammer."
C 135S. by Bennett Cerf. Distributed by King Feature Syndicate. ,
Quotes From the News
By UNITED PRESS
New Orleans Delta Airlines pilot Capt. Charles Quinn
of Metairie, La., who took off from Caracas during the short
lived Venezuelan revolution:
"It was so quiet it was almost impossible to know a revo
lution was going on ... no one seemed excited. All in all, it
seemed like a small New Year's celebration."
Eureka, S.D. Wilbert Beck, 16. commenting from his
hospital bed on the highway
sons including his parents and
"I remember a car coming
nightmare."
Newton, Iowa Mrs. Marilyn Damman, 24, whose son
Steven, 3, was kidnaped in New York two years ago, on the
breakup of her marriage:
"He (her husband) deserted me and moved next door to
his parents' farm. He's accusing me of carelessness because
Steven was kidnaped."
Las Vegas Producer Jack Cathcart. after songstress Judie
Garland left the Flamingo hotel stage in mid-performance
New Year's eve:
"Her voice is just gone. Her voice just petered out and
she was unable to go on."
Washington Sen. William Proximre (D.-Wis.) on his plan
to increase Social Security payments and contributions:
"Twenty years ago Social Security was thought of as just
a guarantee of bread. Today most Americans depend on it
as the foundation of their retirement plans."
CRASH KILLS SIX
Warsaw, Poland (IP) Six
persons were killed and two
injured seriously when a fast
moving electric passenger
train hit the rear of a slow
freight southeast of Warsaw
Tuesday,, it was learned to
day. Cause of the crash was
believed to be a faulty sig
nal system.
WOMIB'S PUT HiOH ilrtMISSttV KEa BACK
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? "9RISS SKIER" RUCKS SOYS' & GIRIS'
I If STRETCH SOX
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accident which killed nine per
four brothers and sisters:
toward us and then a terrible
BANKER OFFICIAL DIES
Baltimore, Md. IW Thom
as B. McAdams, 78, former
president of the American
Bankers association died here
Tuesday after a long illness.
A native of Richmond, Va.,
McAdams was president and
board chairman of the Union
Trust company of Baltimore
until his retirement in 1953.
Annua! Barbershop
Quartet Conlest Set
Forest Grove The annual
Gay Nineties festival will be
held here Feb. 27, 28 and
March 1 to determine the
championship barber shop
quartet.
Invitations have been sent
to more than 400 singing
groups to compete for prizes.
Eoth men's and women's
competition will be held for
the Northwest quartet cham
pionships. Contestans must be in cos
tume and be non-professional.
Judging will be on technique,
barber shop style, stage pres
ence, selection and costumes.
Information on entering is
available by writing the chair
man, post office box 13, For
est Grove.
Teamsters Plan
To Pick Officers
Portland (W Teamster
Union officials from Oregon
and southwest Washington
will meet here Friday, Jan. 10,
to replace two members of the
union's joint council for the
area.
Stepping down are Clyde
C. Crosby as recording secre
tary and R. R. Mikesell as sec
retary. However, Crosby will
retain his important job as
Teamster International repre
sentative for Oregon. He said
he had been considering his
resignation as recording sec
retary for. a long time because
of a conflict of duties.
PRINCESS SENTENCED
Cairo (W The Court of
Appeals has fined former
Princess Faiza $59,560 and
sentenced her to a month in
prison for evading customs
regulations seven years ago.
Faiza, a sister of ex-King Fa
rouk, now lives in Istanbul
and was not in court for the
ruling Thursday. The indict
ment charged she used her
royal prerogative to bring un
specified personal goods into
Egypt in 1950 without paying
customs duties. The prosecu
tion charged she later sold the
goods.
ROMANIAN DYING
Vienna (IB Communist
Romania's 72-year-old presi
dent. Petru Groza. is dying.
Bucharest radio indicated on
Wednesday. The radio said
Groza's condition has "con
siderably worsened" and "it
is not Dossible to stop further
progress of the disease." He
has been president since
1952. Before that he had been
premier since 1947.
NEW CAR The Rambler American (above) designed to
combine the economy and handling ease of the small Euro
pean cars with performance, comfort and roominess, is on
display at Lea Motors, Fifth and Bartlett sts. Built on a 100
inch wheelbase, the five-passenger, two-door American is
powered by a six-cylinder L-head engine of 90 horsepower.
It is nearly three feet shorter than the average United States
car, but with space per-passenger equal to the larger cars,
company officials said.
Dividends Break All
Records During '57;
Little Change Seen
By ELMER C. WALZER
United Press Financial Editor
New York TP) Dividends
in 1957 of American corpora
tions broke all records in his-
s-ggmimtimwm tni-ir anrl it is
being predict
ed they will
b e little
cha n g e d in
1900.
Such pre
diction, made
today by
Stand a r d &
Poor's, is seen
Elmer Walzer as the best
news the bulls have had in
many a moon.
Most of the earlier prog
nostications anticipated lower
dividends because of a pinch
on profits that has been de
veloping for some time.
Standard believes, howev
er, that with less pressure on
cash positions from the re
quirements of inventory ac
cumulation and plant expen
ditures, corporations may
well stretch a point in their
treatment of stockholders.
For several years past as
corporations have been ex
panding with part of their
earnings, the dividend payout
has been "extremely conserv
ative," according to Standard.
Possible Rise
"It could well rise by a few
percentage points to permit
the total of dividend pay
ments to equal that of 1957,"
the firm concludes.
It is a well-known fact in
Wall Street that stockholders
pay more attention to divi
dend payments than .to any
other phase of corporation's
business.
Many a corporation head
will attest to that fact. If a
Earth Closer
Than at Any
By FAY BENTLEY
Strange as it may seem the
earth is nearer the sun during
the first part of January than
at any other time in its 12
month journey around the
center of our solar system.
This is possible because the
orbit or path followed by
the earth in its yearly travel
is not a perfect circle, but
slightly eliptical or egg
shaped. On Jan. 3, at 6 a.m. (PST),
our planet reaches perihelion,
or the point on its orbit clos
est to the sun. At that time
the distance between the
earth and our nearest star
will be somewhat less than
91 million, 500 thousand
miles.
On July 3, the earth will
reach aphelion or the point
farthest away from the sun.
Then the distance between
sun and earth will be ap
proximately 94 million, 500
miles.
"Why is the weather colder
in January than in July if we
are three million miles near
er the sun at this time of the
year?" people often inquire.
Depends on Sunlight
The season at any point on
the earth depends upon the
amount of sunlight that re
gion receives. The more sun
light the warmer the season.
The axis or axle around
which the earth constantly
rotates does not stand upright
in a vertical position' but is
tilted at an angle of 23 de
grees from the perpendicular.
This inclination of the earth's
axis never changes. As a re
sult the northern hemisphere
is tilted towards the sun for
six months, March to Sep
tember, and away from the
sun for the . remaining six
months of fall and winter.
This slanting of the earth
ANNOUNCING!
Svem's Bonus Record
Club
Ask About It Next Time
You're Buying Records At
corporation cuts or omits Its
dividend, the stockholders are
sure to raise a howl heard far
up in space. Chairmen of the
board and presidents of com
panies dread facing their
shareholders at annual meet
ings when the dividends have
been slashed.
And dividends also make
or break prices of stocks, it
is noted. If a company cuts
the dividend, a few cents a
stock often drops several dol
lars a share. And the mere
anticipation of lower divi
dends could keep many inves
tors out of the market.
The Analysts Speak
Wall Street analysts have
been noting recently that the
stocks with dividends assured
are being bought from time
to time in much better fash
ion than companies where the
payments seemed in doubt.
Standard & Poor's in arriv
ing at its dividend prediction
took into account the prospect
of a sharp recovery in the
second half after business
dipper further in the first half
of 1958.
Even corporate profits are
expected to make a good
showing. Standard estimates
the earnings on its 425 indus
trial stocks used in its index
will be $3.55 a share, against
$3.67 in 1957 (estimated) and
$3.53 in 1956. Earnings on
these stocks amounted to a
mere $1.30 in 1929.
Standard places the divi
dend payout on these 425
companies at $1.95 a share,
against $1.94 estimated for
1957, and $1.95 paid in 1956.
To achieve this companies
will have to pay out 55 per
cent of net income in divi
dends. fo Sun Now
Other Time
is a most important factor in
determining the hours of day
light for any region on the
earth's surface. During Jan
uary, in this latitude, the sun
averages slightly less than
nine hours per day above the
horizon. In July, there are
more than 15 hours of day
light. Then, too, in January, again
due to the earth's inclination
on its axis, the sun's rays
touch our part of the earth
at a much greater angle than
in July. The greater the angle
or slant at which the rays of
energy strike the earth, the
smaller is the amount of heat
generated.
So, paradoxical as it may
appear, we in the north ex
perience winter while near
est the sun and summer when
farthest from the sun. t
Variation in Distance
This variation in the earth's
distance from the sun brings
about other seemingly con
tradictory results. During the
last of December and the
first of January when every
one is talking about the
"short days," we are actually
having the longest days of
the entire year.
True, we are having the
least amount of daylight, but
astronomers consider a day
to be the time it takes the
earth to make one complete
rotation or turn on its axis.
The earth travels fastest when
nearest the sun and slowest
when farthest from it. This
effects the length of time re
quired for one rotation.
At the beginning of win
ter when the earth's orbital
speed is greatest, our day is
about 24 hours and 27. sec
onds in length. In July, when
the earth -is traveling at its
slowest rate of speed, a day
is several seconds shorter.
BOOKS GIFTS RECORDS f
Diseases Will Be
Subject of Program
Communicable diseases and
what they mean will be the
subject of the public health
program presented on KBES
TV, Saturday, Jan. 4, at 5:30
p.m.
Questions on measles,
mumps, virus and Asiatic flu,
the common cold, chicken
pox and other communicable
respiratory diseases may be
telephoned to the station for
an hour before the program.
The panel of doctors on the
program will consist of Dr. A.
Erin Merkel, Dr. William Mil
ler and Dr. Malcolm Byers.
The program will be moder
ated by Mrs. C. Ivan Burton.
$1.00 COSTUME JEWELRY
3 for SI.00
JseH-adjustiflg
3
250 NAIL CLIP
TWO 53t TOOTH PASTE TUBES KEG. $1.06
" TT 1 T ri -mri
with every Dove 2 bar pack
regular or Dam size
Both
Size
239cVsJSP249e
Wla.C r
$2.00 TUSSY WIND & WEATHER
LOTION
HALF
PRICE
$1.00
$2.50 HARRIET HUBBARD AYER
LUXURIA Cleanser Beautifier
Half
. Price
TOUR
CHOICE
FAST TOP QUALITY
LOCAL.SERVICE
In by 10 Out by 4:30
Regular Prices
SYLYANIA FLASK BULBS
Press 25Doz. $1.29-41-2 (Midget) Doz. 89
Add Federal Excise Tax
PRESCRIPTIONS
lSpeciaustsA
Friday, January 3, 1958
Two Dances Slafed
Two dances will be held at
the YMCA this week end for
teenagers.
Junior high students are in
vited to a dance at 8:30 p.m.
today sponsored by the jun
ior high youth council.
Senior high students will
dance at 8:30 p.m. Saturday
at the Y with the senior high
youth council in charge, ac
cording to Y officials.
Chuck Holt is in charge of
tonight's dance and Miss Kar
en Stansbury is chairman of
the Saturday event. Proceeds
from tomorrow's dance will
go to the "Teens Against Po
lio" fund drive.
Miss Joyce Gillinsky is
$1.00
Nationally
Advertised
LIPSTICK
While
They Last
351
fully chrome plated imported
PINKING SHEARS
SALE
PRICED
3
98
adjusts to any weight fabric
for easy cutting
New . . . (or tfi first tima ...
precision pinking for oajr
weight fobrkl Cot with con
fidence . . . new self-adjusting
boll bearing regulates cvttmg
to thickness of fabric
A year-round help-mate
you'll cut winter woolen or
summer cottons with the some
tight touch relieves tired
hands and undue pressure.
A must for professionals'..
a professionof touch for home
makers. Order one far your,
self while they last.
9" length-professional
.size
Precision made
Hand-set for
smooth cutting
Hand ground,
polished and set
Fully chrome plated
Guaranteed by Foremost
Gem or
Trim
19
Pepsodent
Child's
TOOTHBRUSHES
TWO 39c BRUSHES
BOTH ONLY
Pepsodent toothpaste In each brush, vial
Pepsodent
Junior
TOOTHBRUSHES
TWO 9e BRUSHES
BOTH ONLY
S3 U Uv
FREEfvJ
Pepsodent toothpaste in each brush vial
HAND CREAM
HALF
PRICE,
$1.00
$1.25
lasy,i "w- -aw
PalmSK?
KaT.siyv
Film Developing and Printing
2 DAY SERVICE -Standard
8-Exposure Roll
Contact 3) fRtl
or Jumbo
on Taxable Merchandise
AtFDFORDS OZHSNAL PRICE Clff7R)CH- e,
MEDFORD (OREGON) MAIL TRIBUNE TVTE
At Medford YMCA
president of the youth coun
cil and Alex McDonald, ad
visor. BOOKKEEPING EASE
Washington rtP) Labor
Secretary James P. Mitchell
has proposed easing the book
keeping chores of firms hold
ing government contracts in
excess of $10,000. These firms
now are required to retain
wage and hour records of em
ployees for at least four years.
Mitchell Thursday proposed
cutting this time to three
years. Interested persons will
have until Jan. 17 to submit
their views to him.
(33G&(nZIi2P
C2QJ3U
warn
SAVE UP TO 50 DURING JAN.
WALGREEN VITAMIN SALE
REG.
$5.98
High
Potency
Multiple.
Vitamins
&
Mineral
SUPER AYTINAL
Bottle $A79
of 100
$2.69 50cc A.D.C.
I 6 ;
ri " 0U-KR0N12
I H OU-KRMl? "'wv
r-asayswaa saw ""
VITAMIN DROPS $1.79
S1.39 PURE NORWEGIAN
COD LIVER OIL, pint 97
S9.95 THERAPEUTIC STRESS
B-COMPLEX 100 $6.95 .
INFRA-RED
HEAT LAMP 8
3-Speed Guaranteed
ELECTRIC
HEATING PAD
$2.89
SUPER ANAHIST
TABLETS
Shortens effects
of colds in any
stage.
98'
VACAGEN
Oral Cold Vaccine
By Sharp & Dohme
20 Tablets 81.35
60 Tablets S3.37
100 Tablets S5.40
FAST ACTING
COLDENE
LIQUID
Cough Medicine
Recommended bj JP I fjfj
Parents Magazine M U
NEW by WHITHALL
(The Maker of Anacin)
DRISTAN
Symptomatic Relief
Colds Hay Fever
Sinus Congestion
24 Tablets 98c
"oiis" )
'iiiH '
uuuJ uuuljJU
Analysis shows there is na
important difference in th
nutriment content of a light
or dark shelled egg.
Use Tribune Want Ads
EMERGENCY
NUMBERS
FIRE SP 2-2333
POLICE SP 3-3636
MONEY SP 3-5308
BArinr
ITIDUSTRIAt
16 S. CENTRAL
rwra 1
f AYTINAL
VITAMIII "A"
' 25,000 Units
100 caps $1.59
VITAMIN "Bl"
25 Mr.
100 tabs. $1.49
VITAMIN "C"
100 Mff.
100 tabs. 98
Dl CALCIUM
PHOSPHATE
With Vitamin "D"
100 tabs. 79
Cap. MwMn ! a i
QUALITY IN
EVERY DROP
Prescription medicine prepares!
by us it a quality product
through and through. The quali
ty of the ingredients and the
quality of the scientific eraftm
manship surpass professional
standards. This QUALITY is an
active, essential, participating
part of every drop of the medi
cine guaranteeing its full effica
cy in exact accordance with Hi
doctor's intent. To be sure
bring your prescriptions to West
ern Thrift Pharmacy for prompt
and perfect professional service.
Free Delivery in Medford
30
CENTRAL
SP 3-5371
If-' I
LwTati I aaeau g3
EBBS'