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of military-style discipline. Privates in
the Army don't debate orders with their
commanding officer; they simply do what
they're told, unless their opinion is
sought. That's the way it should be with
children with the parents giving theor
ders. But wives and mothers have been
espousing the cause of equal rights and
equal voice for so long that it's begin
ning to rub off on the kids, too.
yMERicAN women have gained for
themselves that greatest of all
privileges the right to second
guess. They use it tellingly.
For example, with family decisions
which have to be made whether to buy
a new car, take a new job, move to a
new town these problems can and
should be discussed thoroughly. But
eventually it's the man who has to make
the final decision.
Traditionally, the woman's role is
"whatever you think is best, dear, but
. . ." This leaves her a woman-sized es
cape hatch if things don't work out 100
percent. This is admittedly a good posi
tion to be in. It forces the husband to
one of two tactics: either let the wife
make the decisions (which few of them
will actually do when forced to the wall),
or do the best he knows how and ignore
the second-guessing. Throughout all this,
of course, he has to put up with televi
sion serials, movies, popular songs, and
magazine articles which persist in por
traying the husband-father as a sort of
low-grade, bumbling moron being gently
guided through his daily affairs by an
all-knowing wife.
Then there's the inordinate concern
shown the housewife over things that
husbands take in stride every day. When
Mom cooks a dinner any old dinner
everyone says how good it is; but when
was the last time you can remember a.
family telling a husband how well he
earned his pay check last week? Yet we
help dry the dishes for Mom, make the
beds, and do the housework so she'll
have more time to campaign for equal
rights.
Coming home from a recent business
trip on a plane, my seatmate looked
wistfully after the departing stewardess,
who had just finished serving him his
meal with a few deft female touches and
soothing words.
"What a contrast," he sighed. "If only
we could deal with all women like that.
If only they'd be women. I'll be home
in a few hours, and my wife will have
a dozen problems that have to be hashed
over. She'll kiss me when I get in the
car, if she happens to think of it, because
that's the thing to do. Then she'll prob
ably beef all the way home because she
had to miss a meeting to pick me up at
the airport. We're partners, by golly, and
the partnership problems have to be dis
cussed, whether I feel like it or not."
""nne of the greatest pieces of salesman
ship that has ever been foisted
on the public is the portrait of the
timid, withdrawn, self-sacrificing Amer
ican wife, plodding steadfastly about her
$35,000 home to keep it sparkling, work
ing miracles with an inadequate income,
raising the children singlehandedly, and
always managing to look pert and cheer
ful when Dad gets home from work after
a tough day of luncheon chitchat and
coffee breaks. The gals have been read
ing this in the women's magazines and
telling it to themselves for so long that
they are actually beginning to believe it.
As a result, there is a growing ten
dency toward a non-personal relation
ship between husband and wife a sort
of owner-manager relationship, with the
husband-owner dropping in occasionally
to see how the wife-manager is han
dling things.
In a recent survey of 300 Chicago sub
urban housewives, more than half didn't
once voluntarily mention their husbands
during the whole interview, and 84 per
cent neglected to mention without
prompting their own role of wife
(although most talked at length about
motherhood). Almost three-fourths of
the women declared that providing a
good income is the most important role
of the husband; only a smattering men
tioned fatherhood, and even fewer the
role of husband.
This emphasizes the fact that most
women are poor psychologists. They'd
go a long way toward solving many of
the problems they suffer with so vocally
if they'd just put the lid on some of their
self-sufficiency. I'm not advocating a re
turn to the days of washtubs and wood
burning stoves. The girls' work is done
for them today by electricity, and I say
fine. I just wish they'd devote some of
their extra time to activities other than
complaining about their long-suffering
lot.
They might even have a fling at just
being a wife. It's an honorable occupa
tion and proved quite satisfactory for a
good many centuries, I've heard.
"He showered me with jewels. Seven,
to be exact . . . all in this watch!"
OFHAPPINCSS
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