Monday, October 7, 1957
MEDFORD (OREGON) MAIL TRIBPNE-7-THREE
. Theyll Do It Every Time
By Jimmy Hatlo
l licvt 1
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IN HIS B16
CABIN CRUISER
HAS NO REGARD
FOR LITTLE
CRAFT... HE'D
JUST 45 SOON
SWAMP VEM
AS SNEER I
-
By VERNON SCOTT
United Press Staff Writer
Hollywood (IP) Comes now
a movieland striptease school
Half-Size Style
Strip School Starts
For Bump, Grinders
( pipsqueak.' ouswrN'ry
V TO ALLOW 'EM IN raTv
ltt who
ffffMZZSZ2. DOCK ? ILL APPRECIATE IT, LzmSsSk
DOES HE BEG
FOR A TOW
WHEN HIS TUB
GOES BLOOEY?
YOU
GASSED IT!
rD0U6LL.
P.O. BOX 312.
'Nothing Left of Oregon-' Novel
On Atomic War in 1961 Declares
Br A. ROBERT SMITH
Mail Tribune Washington
Correspondent
Washington The American
submarine Scorpin stuck its
snout into the mouth of the
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1 .
A. Itobt. Smith
Columbia riv
er, surfaced at
m i d n i ght to
see if there
was any sign
of life. The
sub had just
come from an
off - shore in
spection of San
Francisco
where they
saw that the Golden Gate bridge
was demolished and homes
around Golden Gate park had
suffered much from fire and
blast. There was no evidence of
any human life.
There were lights showing on
the shore of the Columbia river,
but after examining his charts
the skipper of the sub concluded
they came from Long Beach and
Ilwaco on the Washington state
side.
- "There's nothing in the state
of Oregon," he added.
The Scorpion proceded on to
Puget Sound in quest of the
origin of sporadic radio signals
coming from the Seattle area.
Surfacing off Edmonds, 15 miles
north of Seattle, it found a de
serted town where the neon sign
was still lighted in front of the
drug store. When the ship hailed
the shore with a loudspeaker,
there was no response.
Through Periscope
This was the way the Pacific
Northwest looked through a per
iscope, for the crew dared not
venture out on deck. The radia
tion count in the air was far
above the safety level. This was
the reult of the short war that
bewildering atomic war of which
no history had been written or
ever would be written now. It
had lasted 37 days, wrecked most
of the major cities of the north
ern hemisphere and laid waste
to the rest of the land through
nuclear fall-out with its lethal
radiation. It is only a matter of
time before the belt of all-out
particles envelopes the southern
hemisphere and snuffs out what
life remains in Australia, South
Africa and South America.
And that is the way Nevil
Shute chillingly describes the of
the world in his novel. On the
Beach. The short, war was not
caused by a direct attack on the
U.S. by Soviet Russia, or vice
versa. It started in 1961 when
Red Albania got sore at Italy
and dropped a bomb on Naples.
Then someone, nobody knows
who, set one off in Tel Aviv.
British and American planes
then made a demonstration flight
over Cairo to try to quiet things
with a show of strength. Next
thing you know Russian-made
planes were spotted heading for
the U.S., and this triggered off
the whole NATO defense appar
atus. Washington and London
were both it, leaving few states
men left to make decisions. U.S.
military field conmmanders
counterattacked Russia. China
figured this was a good time to
ding Russia, and vice versa, so
they went at it with hydrogen
bombs, most with a cobalt elem
ent. Egyptian Planes In Raid
The irony of it all was that
the planes that first hit Wash
ington and London were Egyp
tian planes which Russia had
given her. Mistaken for Soviet
attackers, they set off the chain
reaction that was too quick to
stop.
The basic trouble, says a sci
entiest in Australia", was that the
nuclear weapons got so cheap
that "every little pipsqueak
country like Albania could have
a stockpile of them, and every
little country that had that
thought it could defeat the major
countries in a surprise attack."
The Scorpion happened to es
cape by being on patrol in the
Pacific, and with its long-range I
nuclear powerplant made it to
Australia. It ventured to Puget
Sound only to find the radio
signals being caused by a loose
window sash bumping against a
live radio transmitter. It was the
constantly spinning hydroelec
tric generators in Northwest
dams that kept the radio and
the lights on long after the peo
ple had climbed into their beds
or their favorite bars to die of
radiation sickness an ailment
which first causes nausea, then
diarrhea, finally death by sheer
exhaustion. The Australian gov
ernment at the end passes out
suicide tablets for adults, injec
tions for children and pets.
The weakness of the book lies,
for the American reader, in the
unbelievably phlegmatic charac
ter of the people who face the
coming end. This might be un
derstandable if they showed
some sign of deep Christian faith
in eternity which would elimin
ate fear of death, but there is not
a word of this fundamental con
sideration. A book describing world de
struction through nuclear war
fare could be more brutal in
portraying destruction and phys
ical suffering. But this is chilling
enough to merit worldwide read
ership. Such fiction could just
become fact at any time now.
wpFmsWoWsi
In 1853 Henry Lars Emery
of Albany, New York, patented
a machine that was officially
described as "a double-toggled-jointed,
horizontal, progressive,
levered hay and cotton press."
So dawned the haywire era on
the logging frontier.
Emery's invention owed much
to earlier balers, both horizon
tal and vertical. The first Ameri
can machine of the kind was
patented in 1813. On April 18,
1839, a patent for a machine de
signed to bale both hay and cot
ton was issued to Chauncey
Wharton Hawkes of Brunswick,
Maine. It was notably success
ful and inspired inventors to
bring forth several "new and
improved" hay balers in the
1840s.
Cordage, straps and wood
hoops were used to bind the
bales until Emery's rig came
along. Wire was the article need
ed for the final conversion of
the hay bale into a standard com
modity of American commerce.
Centennial Year
This year of 1957 is as good
as any to nominate as the time
for a centennial observance of
the birth of haywire in the Am
erican scene It ties in well with
the 1957 theme of the Pacific
Logging congress to be held
in Seattle Oct. 30-31-Nov. 1. This
is "New Frontiers in Logging."
frontier of a century ago. Horses
and oxen hauled the logs. They
had to have hay. Bales made
the transportation of hay pos
sible up the rivers and through
the trees.'
Then, as the bales were broken
and the hay consumed day by
day, the ingenuity of the loggers
turned the residual haywire into
amazing and wonderful uses.
Right soon haywire was being
used in the Lake States pineries
for everything from patching
harness to hanging horsethieves.
Haywire proved' to be a super
ior substitute for suspender but
tons. Boys made haywire fish
hooks. Backwoods mothers got
along with haywire diaper pins.
Out West haywire was at times
worth its weight in gold. The
jasper who ventured to steal
haywire in the bullteam logging
camp ran the risk of a puncture
from the bullpuncher's goad.
New Logging Frontier
The modern gasoline-powrered
logging tractor will be at the
forefront of the machinery and
equipment show of the 1957 Pa
cific Logging Congress at Seat
tle. I well remember my first
experience with a machine of
that kind, in the year of old,
1912. It was on wheels, like the
steam threshing engine of the
period, and was rigged up to
replace horses on the log haul.
On the engine's first day of
trial its cam shaft began to clat
ter and screech. The. logging
teamsters hoped this was its
death rattle. But the engineer
removed plates, looked things
Now Many Wear
FALSE TEETH
With Little Worry
Eat. talk, laugh or sneeze without
fear of Insecure false teeth dropping.
slipping or wobbling. FASTEETH
holds plates firmer and more com
fortably. This pleasant powder has no
gummy, gooey, pasty taste or feeling.
Doesn't cause nausea. It's alkaline
(non-acid). Checks "plate odor"
(denture breath). Get FASTKETH at
any drug counter.
over, then came up with a coil
of haywire. Somehow he cinch
ed the cams solidly with hay
wire, and the rig's internal com
bustion engine worked on well
enough through the day. A" log
hauling machine that could be
fixed with haywire, the loggers
agreed, was bound to make its
way in the lumber woods. '
It took 50 years of invention
to produce a practical haybaling
machine and to provide an ade
quate binder for the product.
Then for another 50 years and
more oxen and horses advanced
the American frontier westward
through forest and range. Baled
hay fed the animals. And the
haywire leftovers played a pow
erful part all the way through
in holding things together. Good
old haywire!
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DIPLOMATIC DEBU T
Actress Irene Dunne, a
member of the U. S. Delega
tion to the United Nations,
brings HoUywood glamor to
the speaker's platform as
she makes her debut before
the General Assembly in
New York. Miss Dunne went
before the world body to
announce that the U.S.
will contribute $21,800,000
toward the $52 million the
UN needs for its two prin
cipal refugee programs.
Though regarded as an indust
rial state, Massachusetts harvests
farm products each year worth
more than $170,000,000.
7 www r
H'i 24Va
Gem of a Printed Pattern!
You'll find this step-in dress fits
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just melt the inches away! Make
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Printed Pattern 9000: Half
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22V2, 2W2. Size 1612 requires
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Printed directions on
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Send THIRTY-FIVE CENTS
(coins) for this pattern add 5
cents for each pattern for lstr
class mailing. Send to Marian
Martin, care of Medford Mail
Tribune, Pattern Dept., 232 West
18th St., New York 11, N.Y.
Print plainly NAME, ADDRESS,
with SIZE and STYLE NUMBER.
each
Preliy Baby!
What a delightful gift for a
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cover; use a pair for pictures. .
Pattern 7255: transfer of 9
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Unusual bazaar items.
Send THIRTY-FIVE CENTS
(coins) for this pattern add 5
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class mailing. Send to House
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Old Chelsea Station, New York
II, N.Y. Print .plainly NAME,
ADDRESS, PATTERN NUM
BER. A bonus for our readers: two
FREE patterns, printed in our
ALICE BROOKS Needlecraft
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of designs' to order crochet,
knitting, embroidery, h u c k
weaving, toys, dolls, others.
Send 25 cents for your copy of
this needlecraft book now!
Science Shrinks Piles
New Way Without Surgery
Finds Healing Substance That Does Both
Relieves Pain Shrinks Hemorrhoids
New York, N. Y. (Special) For the
first time science has found a new
healing substance with the astonish
ing ability to shrink hemorrhoids
and to relieve pain without surgery.
In case after case, while gently
relieving pain, actual reduction
(shrinkage) took place.
Most amazing of all results were
to thorough that sufferers made
astonishing statements like "Piles
have ceased to be a problem!"
The secret is a new healing sub
stance (Bio-Dyne) discovery of a
world-famous research institute.
This substance is now available in
ruppository or ointment form under
the name Preparation H. At your
druggist. Money back guarantee.
BeHJ. 8. Pit Oft.
for advanced study in the fine
art of the bump, grind and tassel-twirling.
Faculty member Jean Smyle,
professionally known as "Venus,
The Body," claims the new edu
cational organization is being
launched to supply a more re
fined type of striptease for the
country's burlesque theaters.
"Burlesque can't even be
classified as entertainment any
more," says Jean, a sultry red
head. "Ninety per cent of the girls
stripping today are real dogs.
They're short, saggy and fat.
Most of them have big stom
achs. Because of them burles
que is a dying art, and we hope
to bring it back."
Non-Blushing Beauties
The school for strippers offers
a 15-week course for SI 50 with
total enrollment limited to 25
blush-proof girls.
Included in the curriculum
are such eyebrow-raising sub
jects as removal of inhibitions,
posturing and posing, exotic
technique and walking with a
wiggle.
Jean, who measures 1 36Vz-25-37
and stands 5 feet, 7 inches
tall, says outsize measurements
are not required.
"We're attempting to bring
back to stripteasing," she ex
plained. "The day of the girl
who walks on a stage just to
peel off her clothes is over.
"We'll still strip, of course
but with class."
According to Jean every state
and city has different laws gov
erning how much a girl can
take. off.
Not Just Undressing
"Some places are pretty strict
making us wear panties and
bras. Other cities let strippers
peal down to a G-string and
nothing else. The San Francisco
Oakland area is pretty liberal.
So are Baltimore and Chicago.
"Boston is the worst or
best of all. I've seen gals take
everything off at the old How
ard theater.
"But that's vulgar. Most
strippers are wives and mothers.
They're anxious to see stripteas
ing become respectable. So are
their husbands. After all, a girl
has to think of her reputation."
Jean went on to say that she
objects to bumps and grinds,
but that most audiences are out
raged if they're not forthcom
ing. "We're teaching other talents
too," Jean said. "About a third
of our . audiences nowadays are
women and they- expect more
'art.' And more money is being
paid strippers all the time, so
gals have to be versatile.
"In Las Vegas the clubs start
strippers at S300 a week. For
that kind of money a girl has
to do more than undress. Heck,
every woman can do that."
ERROR CHARGED
Milwaukee (IP) A scalper
was charged with an error yes
terday when he tried to sell a
pair of $7 World Series tickets
to a policeman for $40.
WALKING UP STEPS leading to Little Rock's Central High School, nine Negro students
are watched by white students, some carrying Confederate flags. (International Soundphoto)
notes From the News
By UNITED PRESS
Milwaukee, Wis. Lew Burdette, who has been named to pitch
the fifth game of the World Series for the Milwaukee Braves:
"I'm not going out there to lose."
New York Boxer Ralph Jones on how he received the nick
name "Tiger":
"My manager thought I ought to have a name that would at
tract attention, so I suggested Tiger. I figured if I started losing I
could change it to Teddy Beat."
Washington Sen. Mike Mansfield (D.-Mont.) on Russia beat
ing the United States in the race to develop an earth satellite:
"It's high time the administration stopped putting economy
before security."
Hollywood Jean Smyle, who is teaching at a school for strip
tease dancers:
"Burlesque can't even be classified as entertainment any more.
Ninety per cent of the girls stripping today are real bags. They're
short, saggy and fat."
Barcelona, Spain Mrs. Anna T. Masevicb, Soviet scientist at
tending the International Astronautlcal Congress, on the launch
ing of the Russian earth satellite:
"We had no failures. The satellite went off perfectly on its
first launching."
Uniontown. Pa Mrs. Walter Casteel. who witnessed the crash
of a twin engine plane thai killed six persons:
"It sounded like it was ready to take off the top of our house.
We knew it wouldn't clear the mountains."
COLOMBIAN OFFICIAL DIES
New York (ut--Dr. Roberto
Rotero, 58, representative of the
Colombian Ministry of Public
Works and National Railways
since 1951, died Saturday.
MONEY
At Crater Finance you may
borrow for any worthwhile
purpose on your
FURNITURE - AUTO
SALARY
and repay in monthly Install
ments. You may choose the
terms most suitable to you
up to 24 months.
Loans may be paid in advance
or in full at any time
Crater Finance
CORPORATION
135 Pine St. Central Point
Phone NO 4-1273
Frank Wilkinson, Mgr.
CLOSED SATURDAYS
. Open Mondays Until 9 p.m.
Free Tariff Zone
In Western Europe
Paris (IP) A conference of
national leaders in the move to
ward European unification has
given its support to a British
plan to create a West European
free tariff zone, Conference
Chairman Fernand Dehousse of
Belgium said today.
The three-day conference, at
tended by 20 European leaders,
also agreed to work to combine
various organizations working
for European union. These
would include the Council of
Europe and the Organization for
European Cooperation. Dehousse
said a second conference will
be held next month to make
"real decisions" on coordinating
European union groups.
E?ee
Silver
Dollars
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Get SILVER DOLLAR Trading Stamps at:
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T Oil Station
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