61 icfc Emmons
0,
'ne of the pleasantest things about
being a father of small children is that
there is always somebody around to look
up to you especially if you happen to be
taller than your children. As luck would
have it, I am.
Almost everything I do seems big and
important in the eyes of our 4-year-old-twin
boys and 8-year-old daughter. The
realization that they are the only ones in
the world to whom the things I do seem
big and important is only momentarily
disturbing.
The other evening, for example, the twins
reached into my trousers pocket and pulled
out a couple of dollar bills and a handful
of change, and spread it on the rug.
"Gosh, Daddy! You're rich!" Davie cried.
"Mommy, come look at all Daddy's
money!" Dickie squealed.
The fact that the $2.87 had to cover my
lunches and miscellany until next Friday
and that my bank only the day before
had been making ominous gargling sounds
about overdrawn accounts completely van
ished from my mind.
"That's a lot of money, boys," I said
dreamily.
"Can I have one of those quarters,
Daddy?" Ann begged. "I need a new jump
rope awful bad."
"Sure," I said airily, "have a quarter."
"Me, too?" the twins chorused.
"You can each take a nice penny," I
said in my best Rockefeller tone of voice.
"Oh boy!" they chimed.
Suddenly my wife, Helen, eased in from
the kitchen, swept up the dollar bills, and
remarked, "Charity begins at home."
I finally got the two dollars back after
pledging to buy her a new little hat the
next payday.
My youngsters not only think I'm a
financial tycoon; they're also convinced that
I'm an awesome physical specimen. (Ac
tually, I'm only 5 feet, 8 inches tall when
standing on tiptoe, which, incidentally, I
find increasingly hard to do these days.)
I overheard a conversation not so long
ago which did more for this 152-pound
weakling than Charles Atlas could ever
hope to accomplish. The twins had captured
a caterpillar and their mother was trying
to get the lid off a fruit jar and put the
contents elsewhere so the boys could house
their find. Mommy was having trouble
getting the lid off.
"Let's call Daddy," one of the boys sug
gested confidently.
"Yeah," his spitting image added. "He's
strong and powerful!"
"He's a real brute," Helen said sardon
ically. I ignored this.
"What's the problem, boys?" I asked,
casually tearing our 22-page suburban tele
phone directory in two.
"They want you to unscrew this lid,
sinews," my wife said.
"Nothing to it," I smiled, reaching for
the jar and giving it a vicious twist. I
jerked again. I put the jar between my
knees and wrenched fiercely, my face
coloring and my breath coming quickly.
"Maybe the jar doesn't know how strong
you are," Helen murmured.
"I'll get ... it in a minute ... I think
something's . . . beginning to give," I gasped.
"I think I know who it is," she replied.
Dickie and Davie were looking at me in
disappointment.
"Tell you what, fellows," I said finally,
"caterpillars don't like glass houses anyway.
What do you say we make this one a
wooden house of his own?"
The three of us hustled excitedly down
stairs and I put together a box from some
scraps of lumber I had been meaning to
throw away.
When it was finished, the boys grabbed
it and ran off to show their friends. In
addition to their other beliefs in me, they
also think I'm the world's greatest builder
of caterpillar houses.
As a matter of fact, I am.
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