GOT TH E
HOT CIGARETTE
&T LI ADIT 9 I
BY ETHEL SAPHIR
ing with her hand over one eye, saluting
like an Admiral. "No splashing or spilling
or you'll get spanked." She gave our
signal a tremendous wink and I knew
this was a secret mission. We both knew
she never spanked.
Before I could say "Aye aye, Sir,"
Greasy grabbed me and jerked me into
the hall. The bathroom door was open
and he shoved me in hard and slammed
the door. I couldn't push it open it
always sticks and I saw my ships next
to my sailboat towels. Somehow I didn't
want to play. My throat felt all tight
like after they took out my tonsils. Then
I thought of Aunt Ettie out there tied up
with her eyes scared and Brown Cap
throwing our clean silver things into his
dirty bag and that horrible Greasy.
The ships were waiting. Why had Mom
said "like yesterday"? I thought I knew
but anyway you just have to carry out
orders. Not the tub the washbowl would
be quicker. I started the water running
fast and my boats whirled. In a minute
rapids were pouring over the sides and
through the hole in the floor and I heard
pounding from down below. The water
was running through the hole that washed
out the day before. It was a wonderful
shipwreck. And a secret mission!
I sloshed around in the whirlpool; my
socks and shoes were soaked, so cool
on my feet. Suddenly I heard my mother
calling me through the door. I pushed
but it was stuck. The next minute it
came open and the man from 7B jumped
right into the water and grabbed me. He
turned off the faucet quick but he wasn't
angry. Yesterday he had said he'd call
the police if I shipwrecked again.
When he saw the water leaking down
from our bathroom, the man had started
up -the stairs and when Mommy heard
him coming she started to scream. He
ran right back and phoned the police.
Like in Calling All Cars, they got there
on the double.
The officers were in the living room
handcuffing the robbers, the way they
do in a Federal show. Aunt Ettie was
pounding Brown Cap's back and yelling,
"You awful thing! You've gone and
ruined my sweater."
Then Aunt Ettie and Mr. 7B started
picking up the silver and things scattered
around. They couldn't hear Mom turn
to me and ask very strictly, "Mission
accomplished, Sir?"
When I said it was, she saluted. She
tied her blue hair ribbon on my shirt
and kissed me twice. I didn't mind be
cause that's how French officers decorate
you. She said, "Well done, Captain
darling." Only she ought to know even
the Frenchmen don't say that.
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