They'll Do It Every Time
" By Jimmy Hatlo
SykJ f hocum? -me Pixrr &jys
JSi ' ?H X CALLED AT 8 -4.M.
yWj ZxWiC ALWAYS SHOW UP JUST
On The Side
By E. V. Durling
(Distributed by King Fajturas Syndieata, Inc.)
Whfrfl my love U not
Is like a tomb;
And the most Joyous spot
In one of gloom.
His fond cirp.
So rillrd with bliss.
His hand to press
And ob, his kiss:
Goetha
How accurate were the pre
dictions as to the blessed events
at your house? A Bronx mother,
who was unusually anxious to
know whether her expected in
fant would be a girl or a boy,
consulted several physicians and
a number of astrologers. She
also took a saliva test. All pre
dictions were that her expected
child would be a boy. And so
what? She gav birth to twin
girls!
Expectancy
The life expectancy of the
average man in the United States
ij 69 610 years. According to
the trade paper, the Advertising
Age, the life expectancy of ad
vertising people in this country
is 57 910 years. That is about
12, years below the average. Not
io good. Those in the advertising
business should take things
easier. It was Schopenhauer,
who so rightly said, "The great
est mistake a man can make is
to sacrifice health for any oth
er advantage.
Fatting By
Gene Fullmer, Middleweight
boxing champion. A very inter
esting young fellow. He is a Mor
mon. Does not drink coffee, tea
or liquor. Does not use tobacco.
He is a veteran of the Korean
war. Gives 10 per cent of his
earnings to The Church of Jesus
Christ of Latter-day Saints.
Sidelights
Recently I said I had readers
named Cleopatra but none
named Salome. I find I have two
readers in Brooklyn named Sa
lome. It is as I am always telling
you, Brooklyn has everything . . .
Was the original Santa Claus a
Greek? That's what a coup'e of
New-Yorkers are arguing about.
Answer is in the affirmative. St.
Nicholas was a Greek bishop.
Santa Claus is Dutch for St.
Nicholas.
FUas Not
Illegally distilled whisky, in
bottles bearing counterfeit la
bels of famous British brands of
Scotch, has been sold in Italy in
large quantities. So the Italian
police have just discovered.
Something like that could hap
pen here. Be careful where you
buy your liquor. Also occasional
ly have it tested and the label
checked as to being genuine.
Asking
Queries from clients. Q. What
was Anna Held's last show? Was
Mary Eaton in it? A. Anna's last
show was a musical titled "Fol
low Me," which was presented
in 1916. Mary Eaton had a small
part in it.. Q. Who is Pamela
Joan Woolworth? Any relation
to Barbara Hutton? A. Pamela,
who is 28, is married, is Bar
bara's cousin. She is also in pos
session of much coin of the
realm and apparently seeks to
increase her fortune by engag
ing in a wide variety of business
enterprises. She owns a two mil
lion acre ranch on which there
are 65,000 head of cattle in Para
guay, a dress shop in Miami,
Fla., and a picture producing or
ganization called Dragon Films.
Diamonds
Are diamonds, as has been al
leged, "a girl's best friend?"
That is, from the angle of their
increasing in value as time goes
by? I always thought such was
the case. I was therefore sur
prised to see it reported that a
213 carat diamond necklace for
which $750,000 was paid 40
years ago, in 1916. was sold re
cently for S385.000. A deprecia
tion in value of almost 50 per
cent.
Ex-Husbands
There appears to be no ade
quote masculine equivalent of
the term divorcee. Some dic
tionaries deem it proper to re
fer to a divorced person of
either sex as a divorcee. How
ever, to say or write "he is a
divorcee' doesn't sound right.
However, I can't think of a re
placement for this term. Have
you any suggestions? Let's try to
solve this confusing situation.
In the meanwhile, we can refer
to divorced men simply as ex
husbands. Or courtroom
widowers.
Laughs of the Day . . .
New Haven, Conn. (U.R)
Trapped in an outdoor telephone
booth by a jammed door, Ar
thur Chandler, 48, phoned po
lice for help. Seems he had
tried to get out by giving the
door a push instead of a pull.
Glovrsvill. N.Y. (U.R)
Two men her stuck electric
light bulbs under their car
hoods during a recent cold
ware. They wanted to keep the
engines from ireesing. The en
gines didn't freese. The caught
fire.
Buffalo, N.Y. (U.R) A S25
fine was given motorist Willie
L. Daniel, 22, when he pleaded
guilty to overloading his auto.
Police said that when they stop
ped Daniel, he had four passen
gers in the front seat, eight in
the rear and two on the hood.
Salt Laic City (U.R) Mo
torists from the Lone Star Stat
Stat started it by placing paper
OTalt in the rear windows of
their cars reading "Built in Tex
as by Taxans." California coun
tered with the slogan, "Built in
California by Indiant." Now a
Salt Lake driver carries in the
back window of his tiny Volks
wagon the legend, "Built in the
Black Forest of Germany by
It."
Waterford, Conn. (U.R)
Louis Dean was finsyl $50 for
driving a truck 3,000 pounds
overweight, despite his excuse
that his cargo of live chickens
weighed more because their fea
thers were wet by water.
Rochester, N.Y (U.R) John
Janowici complained when bill
ed by the city for S3.66 for re
moving snow from his sidewalk.
He said he's lived on his street
for 10 years and it still has no
sidewalks.
For Quick Cash'r
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The Low Cost vM: To Sil
Items You o Looser Js'eed
Resolution Seeks
Retaining Beaches
As Public Roads
Salem (U.R) The House yes
tesday passed 48-4 a joint resolu
tion calling for a constitutional
ammendment to retain the Pacif
ic Ocean beaches as public high
ways for the free use of the peo
ple. The vote took place after a
45-minute debate sparked by
lawyers who favored the res
olution, but were concerned with
whether or not the resolution
precluded any possible offshore
oil development.
All the land between ordinary
high tide and extreme low tide
has been public highway since
the administration of Gov. Os
wald West.
Prompted by Another Bill
House joint resolution 24,
voted on Wednesday, was
prompted by another bill now
before the Legislature which
would take control of the beach
es from the State Highway
Department and transfer it to
the State Land Board.
Rep. Clanence Barton, Coquil
le, pointed out that the State
Land Board has the power to
lease tidelands and said he didn't
want to run the risk of having
"no trespassing" signs appear
ing on Oregon beaches as they
do in California and most east
ern seaboard states.
Barton said that saving the
beaches as public highways
would not preclude oil and gas
development if any gas or oil is
found.
Move Defeated
A move to refer the resolu
tion to the judiciary committee
for legal clarification of the oil
development question was de
feated when speaker Pat Dooley
broke a 26-26 tie vote.
The bill that would transfer
control of the beaches to the
Land Board is now tabled in the
House State and Federal Affairs
Committee.
Rep Thomas McClellan, Ne
otsu, said the beaches were the
state's "greatest permanent as
set." Barton added that the resolu
tion would "save the beaches for
the men and women, boys and
girls, of Oregon forever."
Quotes From the News
By UNITED PRESS
Washington Israeli Ambassador Abba Eban on efforts to end
the deadlock on Israel's withdrawal from Egyptian territory:
"I think we have broken through."
Mt. Airy, N.C. Rep. Joe Fowler In the North Carolina House
of Representatives, memorializing Mrs. William Beasley, who died
in a futile attempt to rescue the only victim of a fU.sh fire in an
elementary school:
"Her courageous effort to tav the life of one of her pupils
will never be forgotten."
Austin, Tex. Ronnie Dugger, editor of the Texas Observer, in
an article in Harper's magazine charging that bribery is rampant
in the Texas legislature:
"The rich think they can buy stock in the Legislature or an
executive agency as they can in a corporation; and they can."
Hollywood Actress Jayn Mansfield, suffering from poison
oak. on being handed a blossom by actor Dan Dailey who said he
hoped they weren't poison ivy:
"No, they're wild lilacs."
Philadelphia James B. Carey, secretary-treasurer of the AFL
CIO Industrial Union department, denouncing labor racketeers
and union leaders who use unionism as a means of personal en
richment: "They are more dangerous to the Democratic labor movement
than the worst kind of union-hating managements. They are more
poisonous than professional spies and strike-breakers."
Thursday, February 28, 1957
MEDFORD (OREGOaT) KAIL THltU(r-fflt
Boeing Plans To Make
Missiles at Seattle
Seattle U.PJ Boeing Air
plane Co. has announced it will
utilize its existing production
facilities here for presently pro
grammed manufacturing on the
Bomarc guided missile.
Boeing said it decided to make
the Bomarc here at the Air
Force request.
The Bomarc program involves
a board network of subcontract
ors and suppliers with limited
support from Boeing's Wichita
division, a company spokesman
said. The Wichita facility is now
heavily occupied with B52 bom
ber production.
The Bomarc is a ground to
air missile designed to seek out
and destroy enemy planes far
from their intended targets.
For the United States as a
whole, the number of general
hospital beds increased by 200
per cent from 1909 to 1955, ac
cording to a recent report of
Health Information Foundation.
Plans to designate 1958 as
"Yankee Homecoming" year in
New England were announced
by Massachusetts' Commerce
Commissioner Richard Preston.
Portland Attorney
Suspended for Year
Salem (U.R) L. B. Sandblast,
Portland, has been suspended
from the practice of law for one
year by the State Supreme CourJ
after having been found guilty
of professional misconduct by a
trial committee of the Oregon
State Bar.
Sandblast, a ioe-time candi
date for the State Supreme
Court, was accused of purchasing
property of the estate of George
Petrow without the consent of
the administrator while acting
as attorney for the administra
tor during probate of the estate.
tfjl
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