On The Side
By E. V. Durling
(Distributed by Kinfl 'ajtarae Indicate, Inc.)
Ever been a best man? Did
you find the experience a rug-
ged one? Just heard of a fellow
who has been a best man 21
times. And he is a bachelor.
Am constantly being asked what
is a good toast for the best man
to offer for the newlyweds. I
can think of none better than
the old Scots toast: ."May the
wings of love never lose a feath
er." Sidelights
Five men suffer from lung
cancer to one woman similarly
afflicted. That is the hiEhest
known sex ratio for any disease
... as for elderly autos still
in operation, the Stuart Hard
wood Floor company of Red
wood City. Calif., is regularly
using a 1926 Chevrolet truck.
It is still in excellent shape me
chanically. Asking
Queries from clients. Q. What
was the first radio program you
heard? A. Can't say definitely.
First one I recall was Guy Lom
bardo and 'his Royal Canadians
playing from a nisht club on
Cottage Grove Ave., Chicago.
About the same time I used to
tune in to Earl Burtnett's mar
velous dance band at the Bilt
more in Los Angeles and Bing
Crosby crooning at the Cocoa
nut Grove, Ambassador Hotel,
in the same city. That was about
the time Bing was featuring
such songs as "I Surrender.
Dear" and "Just One More
Chance."
Proposing
When you proposed to the
charming young woman who be
came your bride, what did you
say? What was her answer I
doubt that one in a million fel
lows directly asked, "will you
marry me?" and received the
simple answer, "yes." This com
ment inspired by hearing of a
young man who said to the girl
of his choice, "How about us
getting married?" the girl said.
Why not?"
Asides
Four tablespoons of honey is
a very effective sobering up
remedy. So I note it said. Keep
that in mind if your wife takes
too many cocktails at a party . . .
Have you a wife or sweetheart
who is five feet two, with eyes
of blue? Then she probably
wears three-inch heels. Soon to
be available are unbreakable
three-inch heels made of alum
inum. Onr Thera
There is an income tax on
gambling winnings in France.
At some gambling casinos, such
as that at Deauville, there are
income tax men on hand to col
lect on the spot. They collect a
tax of Hi per cent on all win
nings. Almost Confidential
How do you make the drink
known as a "pink disaster?" asks
a young woman of Manhattan.
Couldn't say. If she had asked
me how to make a pink lady I
could have told her . . . An in
teresting book of helpful hints
for those wishing to achieve a
fancy income is that title "The
Wealth Within You" by Elmer
v heeler.
Horses And Women
Joan Collins the highly loqua
cious cinema cutie recently ob
served, "I don't like going out
with a series of men. You have
a series of fights in the taxi on
the way home. It is too exhaust
ing." (Note: Miss Collins must
have been going out with some
very callow, inexperienced fel
lows. No man of intelligence or
experience ever makes advances
in a taxi. That's much too crude
Or. so say our horses and wo
men experts.)
Chicago (U.R) Bartender
Joseph Piaskowski had a word
of praise for the politeness of
two bandits who robbed his tav
ern of $400 after tying up him
and a customer. "They were nic
er than some of my customers,"
he said.
5Ist Year
Medford
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United Press Full Leased Wire
Second Section
MEDFORD, OREGON, MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 17, 1956
Six Pages
f-.aa' jfi r-:y"il"iei
miv.'i i
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PRESIDENTIAL CONCERN Like any dutiful husband
President Eisenhower shows concern as his wife, Mamie,
mops her brow during a rally for 500 Republican leaders
In a tent on their Gettysburg, Pa., farm. The rally was the
inauguration of the chief executive's re-election
campaign.
PAYS FOR CALL
Amarillo. Tex. CU.PJ Trust
ee George Lilcs escaped from
city jail Thursday and then was
seized' by a wave of thoughtful
ness. He phoned from Lubbock,
122 miles away, to tell a jail cook
he left his city-owned coveralls
in a trash can in the basement
of the police building. He paid
for the call, too.
IN 110 MPH HURRY
Traverse City, Mich. (U.R)
Haste not only made waste but
also cost Robertson Clark of
Hastings $49.30 in fine and court
costs. Police arrested Clark aft
er clocking him driving at 110
miles npr hour. Clark said he
'was in a "hurry to get some
place.
Low Voice Fails to Dispirit Operator
Williamson, W. Va. (U.P.)
There's a telephone operator
here who is only able to whisper
but nobody seems to mind.
The operator is Mrs. Josephine
Linkenhoker. Her whisper stems
from heart surgery last January
credited with saving her life.
Three years ago Mrs. Linken
hoker was the victim of a heart
attack and diagnosis showed she
was suffering from mitral sten-
Aphis Causes Sap
To Drip on Autos
Portland, Me. (U.R) Tree
surgeon George W. Goodall re
ceived hundreds of calls from
householders worried about trees
under which they park their
cars.
Each caller told Goodall that
the top of his car was covered
with a stickiness. Many wanted
to know if Dutch Elm disease
were to blame.'
Not at all. Goodall told them.
He said the culprit was the aphis,
a sloppy little leaf-sucking in
sect, and the lack of rain was re
sponsible for making his eating
habits so noticeable.
The tree expert said the aphis
taps a leaf and swallows some
of the leaf sap, but the rest just
courses over him and drips to
the ground, or, on any automo
biles parked under the tree
where he banquets.
Normal rains usually wash off
cars every few days in the sum
mer, but during dry spells the
sap just drips and drips on cars
to stay unless the motorist gets
out the garden hose.
osis, a result of rheumatic fever.
Dr. William L. -Jameson, heart
specialist at Charleston, W. Va.,
Memorial Hospital, performed a
delicate operation on the 31-year-old
woman.
Eleven days later, her vocal
chords became paralyzed by scar
tissue as the incision began to
heal. In effect, her vocal chords
were loose, causing the volume
of her voice to drop to a whis
per. Mrs. Linkenhoker, a tele
phone operator for the Chesa
peake and Potomac Telephone
Co. for eight years, decided to
stay on the job despite the
development.
Her "number please" request,
though weak, was good for her
voice and her morale.
Telephone users couldn't un
derstand why their operator was
whispering, and they often sug
gested that she "see a doctor."
She was offered remedies for a
cold, or told how to cure laryn
gitis.
Word soon spread around this
town of 9,000, and Mrs. Linken
hoker has received the under
standing and encouragement of
her customers ever since.
ECONOMY OF BALL POINTS
Cincinnati (U.R) The super
intendent of mails thinks the
idea of ball point pens in the
post office is economical. In a
memo to postal employees, Lau
rence B. Hawthorne said: "The
clerical time used in throwing
the old-fashioned pens against
the walls in order to obtain the
correct degree of scratichiness
and blotting quality of the
points can now be utilized elsewhere."
Experiment Reveals That
Zap, N. D. (U.R) The fox,
which will prey on chickens.
lambs and other small animals,
has been found to migrate many
miles in one generation.
Ernest Zahn, of the North Da-
Foxes Will Migrat
kota Fish and Wildlife Depart
ment, conducted a fox-tagging
experiment and concluded that
the animal will travel up to 60
miles before reproducing.
Read and Use Classified Ada
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