EIOHT MZDFORD (OREGON) MAIL TRIBUNE
Friday, November 18, 1955
A Nichot's Worth of . . .
Comment On This and That
By HARMAN
United Prt
"Washington U.R3 Commer
cial airline pilots are having fun
snaking fun of double-talkers
in their own
business,
in government
and even
among us
new s p a p e r
men. "The Airline
Pilot," a mag
azine publish
lished by the
Air Line Pi
1 o t s Associa
tion, has com
piled a tongue-in-cheek diction
ary explaining what some of the
pet jargon of the trade means.
For example, take this sentence:
fill!
Herman Nichols
f 3 1
So smooth
it leaves you
breathless
rrrirnflff
tJue qr&riest -name
o itnnir n
vuunrt
in
0 proof Made from 1 OOrj grain ncurraHpintv
See. Pirrrc Smirnoff Flj. inc.. Hartford. Conn
W. NICHOLS
Futn Wrif
"The coordinator said the pro
gram was in progress."
According to the pilots' glos
sary, that can be translated into
plain English.
A "coordinator" is "the guy
who has a desk between two ex
pediters." A program is an "as
signment that can't be completed
by one phone call." "Being in
progress" means simply that the
business at hand is "so wrapped
up in red tape that the situation
almost is beyond repair."
The Definition
The fliers' definition of air
traffic is:
"A concentration of numerous
aircraft over a given point, each
demanding the same route and
altitude and each having a spe
cial priority."
Air traffic clearance, trans
lated, is "a verbal method of
snarling the foregoing traffic."
The air traffic controller, him
self, probably is a man who, af
ter he reads this definition,
would just as soon go back to
cranking Model Ts or selilng
pencils on the street.
He is dubbed, without much
affection, as "an individual hated
by pilots, airline executives, as
sistant controllers, passengers
and other people."
Dig at Press
A dig at the press. That "re
liable source" reports are always
quoting is defined as "a guy you
just met." And "informed
source" is the guy who intro
duced you to the guy you just
met. And an "unimpeachable
source" is the clown who started
the rumor in the first place.
'Some of the cracks can apply
to bureaucrats of either govern
ment or industry.
For instance, a "clarification"
means to fill in the background
with so many details the fore
ground goes underground. To
make a survey means that a man
Township Offers
Lots for Builders
Bryon, Wyo. CU.R) "Want
a free lot on which to build a
house? You can have one
provided you move to this little
northwestern Wyoming town
near the Montana border.
To encourage settlement in
Byron the township has offered
to give a 75-by-l 00-foot lot free
to anyone who will build a house
on it. The only charge is a SI
fee to satisfy legal requirements
in recording the deed.
The town made the offer, ac
cording to Mayor S. W. Cozzens,
especially to entice oil workers
in a nearby field to settle here.
"We had a. little surplus in
the treasury," Cozzens said, "so
we decided that giving away lots
would be the best way to en
courage growth."
The town paid $125 each for
the lots and has 20 available.
Nan Wood Honeyman
Appointed by Sackett
Portland (U.R) Sheldon F.
Sackett, editor and publisher of
the Coos Bay Times, has an
nounced appointment of Nan
Wood Honeyman as assistant to
the editor and publisher of The
World, Sackett's proposed new
tabloid newspaper in Portland.
Mrs. Honeyman is a former
collector of customs in Oregon
and was Oregon's first woman
congressman.
Sackett said he plans to start
publication of his new newspa
per March 15.
needs time to think up an an
swer that will get him off the
nail.
To "note and initial" means
let's spread the responsibility
for this."
"Let's get together" says I'm
assuming you are as confused
as I am."
Quotes From the News
By UNITED PRESS
New York Field Marshal Viscount Montgomery of Alamein
on President Eisenhower's world leadership:
"Ike looks extremely well, better than I have seen him before.
The President is the only person in the world who can break this
East-West deadlock. The nations of the free world trust him and
have confidence in him. His picture is in their hearts."
Washington Atomic Energy Commissioner Thomas E. Murray
on the need for free world and Communist leaden to agrea on
effective atomic controls:
"Man now has the power to put an end to hii own history."
Washington Publisher Hugh M. Hefner of Playboy magazine
on his suit against the Post Office department to acquire second
class mailing privileges:
"This isn't a new fight, yesterday it was Anthony Comstock,
today it is Arthur Summerfield, shooting arrows into the air. Yes
terday their arrows struck Leo Tolstoy, James Joyce and Esquire
magazine. Today they strike Aristophanes, Lysistrata and Playboy.
Tomorrow they may strike Cervantes, Shakespeare or Readers
Digest."
Austin, Tex. Gov. Allan Shivers on his prediction thai "wild
eyed pinks" will challenge his right to participate in next year's
Democratic nominating convention:
"They have always been after me. They will challenge anyone
who doesn't agree with them."
Chicago Former Democratic National Chairman Stephen A.
Mitchell on whether he favored a two-party system in the South:
"Definitely. There's a lot of those people who if they lived in
Peoria would be Republicans."
Indianapolis J. Addington Wagner, national American Legion
commander, on the Fund for the Republic, a branch of the Ford
Foundation:
"The American Legion formally charges that by Its action un
der its current direction, the Fund for the Republic renders com
fort to the enemies of America."
New York Robert M. Hutchins, president of the Fund for the
Republic, on American Legion charges against the organization:
"The record of the Fund makes it clear that Mr. Wagner is
wrong on every point he makes. The Fund has the enthusiastic sup
port of other veterans' organizations and many similar groups.
There is no need for further comment."
Atlanta Roscoe Reans, expert on hunting with a bow and
arrow, on how it is done:
"You start trying to think like the animal you're after. Thai's
what does the trick."
HOUSEWIVES COMPLAIN
Berlin (U.R) East German
Communists said Thursday pro
duction has been stopped on sev
eral types of refrigerators. Re
ports from East Berlin said
housewives complained that
their new ice boxes got hot like
stoves.
Around Hollywood
By ALINE MOSBY
United Press Correspondent
Hollywood (U.R) One of the
new celebrities in Hollywood is
an agent who has the distinction
X of being lm-
mui laucil ill
a B r o adway
play.
In "Will
Success Spoil
Rock Hunter,"
Rock Hudson
and Marilyn
Monroe are
caricatured, as
Aline Mosby is a top studio
executive (also satirized in the
movie, "The Big Knife").
But the most noticed charac
ter in the play is a powerful
agent named Irving LaSalle who
is supposed to be the devil in
disguise. His real life counterpart
is Irving Lazar, one of the most
important behind-the-scenes fig
ures of the movie colony who,
since the play, has enjoyed a
new sort of fame.
Runs Large Agency
Lazar runs the largest one
man literary agency in the coun
try. His notable clients include
Moss Hart, Cole Porter, Noel
Coward, Ira Gershwin, Harold
Arlen, George Kaufman and, of
course, the "Rock Hunter" au
thor, George Axelrod.
"I did a couple of things for
George more dough, berths on
planes, and so on that gave him
the idea an agent is a powerful,
impressive, omnipotent person,"
Lazar explained today.
"It always was a gag between
us. I would tell him there was
nothing I couldn't do for him,"
Lazar said.
Written Into Play
'He wrote me into his play,"
Lazar said. "He used some of my
characteristic phrases such as
"no contest." And the wav T
somewhat patronizingly refer to
my clients as 'dear boy'."
Some celebrities are horrified
at being- caricatured, but Lazar
was "amused" when he attended
the play's recent Broadway open
ing.
"I thought it might be embar
rassing, but everyone hollered
'congratulations' at me even
the critics," he laughed. "It was
as if I were in the play myself."
The continent of Antarctic to
estimated to be an area of
6,000,000 square miles approxi
mately the area of the United
States and" Europe combined.
BARBERS WHISPER
Chicago (U.R) Talkative
barbers today started a whisper
ing campaign for a good cause.
Secretary-Treasurer Frank Aliot
ta said members of the Masters
Barbers Association of Chicago
have been instructed to whisper
into the ears of their customers:
"Make every day a safe driving
day."
Because of the plentiful sup
ply of fish, crustaceans and
plankton in the waters surround
ing Antarctica, these waters
abound in whales and seals.
USED
MACHINES
Portables Cabinet
Models
WE ARE CROWDED FOR
SPACE, so the manager says:
"Let's MOVE THEM OUT!"
PRICES ARE
REALLY DOWN!
FOR EXAMPLE
Portables $195
As Low As lr
Cabinet Models &er50
As Low As
SINGER SEWING
MACHINE CO.
318 EAST MAIN
to
Low Cost Diesel in Our New H.C.
Little Diesel Burning Stoves
MEDFORD FUEL CO.
Tel. 2-2111 Court & McAndrews
Use Mall Tribune Want Ads
A special message fo
from your Ford Dealer . . .
Hiis year, everybody is talking about safety in automobiles. And
with good reason. The hazards of the road take more American
lives every year than we lost in the whole Korean war.
So important things are being done to make cars safer.
But isn't safety even more important in trucks'?
If safety is important to the man who drives a car a few hours
a day, isn't it even more important to the man (and his family)
who drives a truck for a living?
We think it is.
And we think you wives think it is. That's why we believe
you'll be vitally interested in what Ford has done to make driving
a truck safer for your husband.
Ford has taken the lead in safety with not just one, but a
whole family of new safety features for America's trucks and cars.
What are these features that could be so important to you?
1.
Lifeguard Steering Wheel
,3
Ford's exclusive Lifeguard
truck steering wheel is built
in such a way that, in case of
accident, it helps protect the
driver from any contact with
the steering post. This kind of "deep-center
steering wheel actually acts as a cushion in case
of accidents.
2.
Lifeguard Door Latches
Ford's Lifeguard door latches have a new
"double grip"' type construction. Their extra hold
ing strength gives added protection against doors
flying open in the event of an accident ... to
help keep the driver in the truck where he's twice
as safe.
3, Seat Belts
You've read a lot about seat belts. You prob
ably know that the Accident Research Center at
Cornell University, the American College of
Surgeons and many other groups strongly urge
that every owner equip his vehicle with seat belts.
Studies prove that in about one-half of aU acci
dents, injuries could be avoided or reduced by
the use of seat belts.
Ford is the first truck manufacturer to make
seat belts available (at low extra cost, for both
new and used trucks).
In case of an accident, or sudden stop, a Ford
Seat Belt holds the driver firmly in the seat. This
greatly cuts down the chances of serious injury.
And remember it isn't necessary to be driving
fast to be seriously injured or thrown out of
the truck in case ot an
accident. A sizable per
centage of injuries of this
kind occur at speeds of
only 30 or even 25 miles
per hour. (If your dealer
happens to be out of seat
belts temporarily, please
be patient. He will have
them shortly.)
4, Tubeless Tires
This year, tubeless tires are standard equip
ment on every Ford Truck. Tubeless tires do not
prevent punctures. But they do help to prevent
many blowouts. When a puncture occurs in a
tubeless tire, the air is apt to escape very slowly.
The driver has a greater chance to slow down
and stop safely.
5, Power Brakes
What we call vacuum-boosted power brakes
make it possible for the driver to apply a lot
more force to the brakes, faster and easier. This
makes it possible to stop faster in emergencies.
Power brakes are standard or available on every
'56 Ford Truck.
6, High Visibility
A better view of the road in front, behind and
to the sides can help the driver to spot trouble
before it happens. A full-wrap windshield is
standard on the new Ford Trucks for '56. The
standard rear window is the widest on any truck
. . . and a new full-wrap rear window is available
at slight extra cost All told, a new Ford Truck
gives the driver one of the greatest all-around
glass areas of any truck.
Reserve Power
A "slowpoke" truck can be a
threat to highway safety it is
a stumbling block in the path
of other traffic Trucks should
have enough power to keep up
with the traffic stream. And they should have
enough reserve power to pull out of emergency
situations. So you will be interested to know
that the new Ford Trucks for '56 have power
increases up to 26, to make sure drivers have
all the reserve power they are ever likely to need.
Why should any man who drives a truck for
a living take chances, needless chances, by not
taking advantage of every available safety device?
To repeat if safety is important to a man who
drives a car once in a while, isn't it far more im
portant to the man who drives a truck all day,
for a living?
When a man drives a '56 Ford Truck from
Pickup to tandem-axle Big Job he and his family
have this peace of mind. They know he's driving
a truck that gives him the added protection of
exclusive Lifeguard safety features.
7.
f.cju
MAIN & FIR STREETS PHONE 3-4547
TOP TVJ THE CA1NE MUTINY COURT-MARTIAL ON FORD STAR JUBILEE, SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 19
ATI
WEATHER
INSULATION
I 1
1
Vino-foam from top
to bottom insulate
summer and winter!
OUTDOOR MEN, GET LIGHTWEIGHT WARMTH
IN FINE QUALITY PENNEY FOREMOST9 BOOTS I
fatigue-reducing sponge cushion Insoles
moisture-resistant uppers of top grade
chocolate oil tanned cowhide
oil- and slip-resistant cushion crepe soles
and heels have squeegee type flat tread
Barbour storm welt caulks around entire
shoe for added weather protection
remarkably light. ..fully leather lined...
Sanitized for cleaner, better wear
1 75
boots
6 inch shoe
1375
Widths D - EE
f ' A J
JUST UNPACKED!
ANOTHER BIG
SHIPMENT OF
YOUR FAVORITE
JACKET
1175
36-46
The perfect jacket for all
ages. 100 wool body with
genuine leather inserts and
trim. Heavy knit cuffs, neck
and waist band.
Boys' sizes, 6-16 9.90
COPEN BLUE AND WHITE
GRAY AND WHITE
BLACK AND WHITE
RED AND WHITE
ROYAL AND WHITE
4)
E '
U BIIIBII I I
' p 9 FOR COLD