TheylL Do It Every Time
By Jimmy Hatlo
To HE4R THEM TELL
tT, SHRINKING VIOLET'S '
GAL FRIENDS ARE GOINS
TO LEAVE MO MAti
INTURNED UNTIL TMEV
GET HERAURWEDOFF-
VIOLET-ITS HISM
twe you GOT
WE'VE DECIDED
TO FIND "ME
R1SUT MAti
FOR YOU-
'YOU'RE JUST TOO B4SH-
FULTHE first nice
' FELLOW WHO SHOWS UP
UROUMD HE i?Ei WE'RE GOING
i TO SEE TO IT HE POPS THE
-S"$L QUESTION-
GETTING
' DmD wn ft 17
, UlTCMED IS
AW NUMBER
ONE PROJECT
WeU-,4M ELIGIBLE'
MAH DID 4PPE4R
ON THE HORIZON-
4NDWH4T CH4NCE
DIDVl'Se4L FHLS
SIVE HER? YOU
GUESSED IT
WATCHER I'VE EVER MET- h 1
TOMORROW I'LL RACK A
HIKE TO EA&Lfc KCX,KrjL 1
you MUST
'HEAR MY RECORD
' COLLECTION-DO
COME TO DINNER
TOMORROW
N'SMT"
LOOKS
LIKE VI IS
'GETTING THE
, IRON CURTAIN
LTREATMENT-
IKS. KING FEATURES SYNDICATE. W . WORLD BIGHTS BE5EEVED
A Nichol's Worth of
Comment On This and That
By HARMAN W. NICHOLS
United P'M fwtaw Writar
Washineton (U.R) What's
new in Washington:
The problem of a language
barrier came
71 up when nine
college kids
were being
briefed about
their trip to
South . Ameri
ca ca on an ex
change of
young farm
ers. Farmer
ette Mary Lou
ise Ansberry
Herman NicfaoU of San Ardo,
Calif., on her way to Uruguay,
said she didn't think any of the
nine in the group would have
any -trouble. All of them know
how to pitch hay and milk a
cow. Language would be no
Droblem. either, the black-
haired lady said. "Pass the but
ter is Em international phrase,"
she said, "and not only that, we
all know how to reach across
the table."
10
Speaking of lovely ladies,
Betty Jane Owen is one gov
ernment gal who can tell you
that the spoils system doesn't
mean tod much. She was
"spoiled" from her job in the
Agriculture Department when
the Republicans came in. Mean
ing that she got a notice saying
her particular job was being
abolished. But under Civil Serv
ice she switched to another sec
tion of the Agriculture Depart
ment and - has gone up four
grades. A' lot more take home.
Better still, she wound up mar
rying the son of her boss.
One of the oldest bars in Wash
ington is the "Old Ebbitt" which
has been in business since the
Civil War. It still exhibits a
sign which says: "One man on
bis feet is worth two on his
seat." The point is that since the
repeal of prohibition it has been
against the law in Washington to
stand on your feet at a bar. '
There are some new rules for
new would-be cab drivers in the
District of Columbia. One is that
a hacker has to be able to read,
write and speak the English
language.
FBI Director J. Edgar Hoover
made a plea not long ago for
better , salaries for police of
ficers. He made the statement
that in one town at least,' a be
ginning garbage collector gath
ered more take home than a
rookie cop. J. E. H. made it clear
that he had nothing against
garbage collectors. Nonetheless
he got a flock of mail from wives
of rookie garbage collectors, not
to mention posies from the
spouses of rookie coppers. ,
There was a hearing on Cap
itol Hill which had to do with
automation. Some folks feared
that using more machines put a
lot of nice people out of work.
Well, at one point Prof. Wal
ter J. Bucking, assistant profes
sor at Georgia Tech, fell to talk
ing about what happens when a
big outfit puts in automation.
He used the work "automo
tizes." ,
Right on his feet was John
Diebold, a New York manage
ment consultant and self-styled
elder . statesman of automation,
with a correction.
' "I respect the profesor," said
Diebold, "and I hold Mm in
great regard. But I would like
to say that when anybody goes
into automation, he 'automates',
for sure he doesn't 'automize.' "
New Jersey in 1865 became
the first state to designate offi
cially all of its militia units as
the National Guard.
Corncobs are now being used
for furfural, a chemical needed
to make nylon, synthetic rubber,
pharmaceuticals and resins.
QUICK and EASY!
For Action,
Use Tribune Wet Ads
University Honors
Petroleum Engineer
Pittsburgh U.R) Forty years
of pioneering paid off for Fred
erick , A. Johnson when he
walked across a platform at the
University of Pittsburgh and re
ceived a citation as the world's
first graduate petroleum en
gineer. Johnson, of Oil City, Pa., said
that when he became the first
person to receive a degree in
his field at Pitt's June com
mencement in 1915, "I cast my
lot with the then unknown."
He pointed out how un
known" his field was by recall
ing his first interview for a job.
A Standard Oil official asked,
"What is a petroleum engineer?"
He said during the early days
the road of the petroleum engin
eer was not an easy one. He had
considerable difficulty convinc
ing hard-headed oil operators
that a petroleum engineer
could be useful.
"Petroleum engineering' has
come a long way since those
early days," Johnson commented
with a glance at the honorary
memorial certificate.
Distaste for Math
Puzzles Professors
Davis, Calif. (U.R) Why
Jimmy doesn't like the third of
the "three R's" has professors
wondering and working here.
A child development special
ist, Thomas Poffenberger, and a
mathematician, Donald A. Nor
ton, both of the faculty of the
University of California College
of Agriculture, are trying to
learn what, besides natural abil
ity, affects a student's mathe
matics aptitude.
Norton said that in spite of
more and more need for engi
neers, chemists and physicists,
proportionately fewer students
are entering these fields in col
leges and universities.
"We may not be able to make
mathematics any easier to un
derstand," he said, "but we hope
to find out why so many stu
dents don't like the subject."
Hi1
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71
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HEATING DIVISION
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MEDFORD
128 N. Bartlett
Phone 2-8043
I
GRANTS PASS
742 6th Street
Phone GR 6-3286
On TKe Side
By E. V. Durling
(Distributed by King Featvraa Syndicate. Inc.)
As one of our Horses and Wo
men department experts ap
proached my desk his sorrowful
expression alarmed me. I
thought perhaps he had suffer
ed some tragic experience like
tearing up the wrong mutuel
ticket or blowing a three horse
parlay. However, his depres
sion had nothing to do with hors
es. It concerned women. He had
been assigned to check on the
characters of May brides as per
the Bridal Calendar.
To his dismay he found that
the part dealing with those mar
red in May had been clipped
from the copy of the calendar
in our files. It is suspected some
May bride has gained access to
our files and for reasons of her
own clipped the mention of her
group from the Bridal Calendar.
Anyway, there will be a slight
delay in our report on May
brides until we obtain another
calendar.
Asking
Queries from clients. Q. Is the
railroad of which Gypsy Rose
Lee, the strip tease dancer, is
a vice president in active oper
ation? A. Yes, sir. It is the Lan
caster and Chester railway,' that
regularly operates as a freight
carrier . between the towns of
Chester and Lancaster in South
Carolina, a distance of 29 miles
. . . Q. Who owned Ballyhoo
Bey, the horse Ted Sloan rode
to win the Sheepshead Bay Fu
turity? I say W. C. Whitney. My
brother says J. E. Madden. A.
Whitney owned Ballyhoo Bey.
Madden trained him. However,
Yankee, winner, of the 1901 Fu
turity, was owned and trained by
Madden . . . Q. Did Marguerite
Clark appear in a stage musical
with Eddie Foy? A. Yes, sir. It
was titled "The Wild Rose." Eve
lyn Nesbit was in it too.
Veteran Car
Today I saw in operation a
Model T. Ford. It must be at
least 28 years old. The last Mod
el T was made in 1927. There
were about 15,000,000 Model T
cars manufactured between 1908
and 1927. The first Model T cars
manufactured between 1908 and
1927. The first Model T was pric
ed at $850 FOB Detroit. In 1928
when the Model A replaced the
Model T somebody wrote a pop
ular song titled "Henry's Made
a Lady Out 'of Lizzie." I never
have known why the name Liz
zie was saddled on the Model
T, as in "Tin Lizzie."
Series Thrill
"Following the victory of our
gallant Dodgers in the World
Series," writes a Brooklynite, "it
was really something to see those
Yankee fans walking out of the
stadium with their heads bowed
down like a little dog with his
tail between his legs. That was
the thrill of the Series for -me,
the silencing of those loudmouth
ed Yankee fans. They didn't even
have enough spirit or guts to
"shout: 'Wait until next year'!"
Rugged Fellow
Have only been in a hospital
overnight once in my life. That
was after an automobile acci
dent in Paris. I just heard of a
man who had never been in a
hospital until he was 99 years
old. At that age he underwent
an abdominal operation and sur
vived! A real rugged old fel
low. Incidentally, this man still
reads the newspaper without the
aid of spectacles.
Passing By
Tuesday, October 18, 19SS
MEDFORD (OREGON) MAIL TRIBUNE TITS
Man Proves Point; River Turns Green
Wichita, Kan. (U.R) Some
official faces turned red because
water of the Little Arkansas
River turned green.
Wichita recently spent $10,
000 plugging holes in Riverside
Park Dam. City officials
thought the job a success.
But an Arkansas man, diver
Julian Arpin, proved otherwise
with a package of green dye
and a 69-cent Army mess kit.
Trini Reyes, one of the world's
greatest Flamenco dancers. She
is the only woman in that dance
group known as Los Chaveles de
Espana. The other members are
eleven men from Barcelona. Tri
ni is an American. I wish I could
say that Trini like Sidney Frank
lin, one of the world's greatest
bullfighters, is from Brooklyn.
But she isn't. She is from New
York City.
Among The Married
You have no doubt heard of
women who have had eight hus
bands. But have you heard of a
woman who has been married
eight times and never had a di
vorce? It has happened.: A Brit
ish woman, recently married for
the eighth time, was widowed
seven times. She married for the
first time at the age of 20. For
the eighth time at the age of
74.
Sidelights
Another of the amazing num
ber of great men born under the
sign of Leo was Henry Ford
As for the lightest college foot
ball player a Pennsylvanian says
it was Audie McFarland, quar
terback for Washington and Jef
ferson in 1905. Audie weighed
105 pounds.
He put a package of Navy dye
in the messkit, punched the kit
full of holes and lowered it into
the river just above the dam.-
Within 10 minutes bright
green dye came floating up in
the water below the dam.
Arpin said his test showed one
"big leak" was not repaired.
He conducted the experiment
after Wichita officials last
spring turned down his $999 bid
to explore the face of the dam
beneath the river surface for
leaks. He said his work would
permit the city to make "a real
istic estimate of the repair
costs." ..
The work on the dam, after
Arpin's turndown, was declared
an . emergency and a private
company was hired for $10,000
to. plug the leaks.
Over one-half of 63 major US
markets receive 90 per cent, or
more, of livestock ,via highway
transportation. : Ten markets re
ceive all livestock by truck.
Read and Use Classified Ad.
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IteaMiliitei
BURGESS PAINT
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Corner 6th & Holly, Diagonally
Across from the Post Office
We Give S&H Green Stamps
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Mercury offers 10 new safety features.
More proof of TH E BIG tiffs legderehip!
"
1. NEW IMPACT-ABSORBING STEERING WHEEL wifll deeply
recessed hub and 3 -spoke conical design bends
under impact or pressure. The driver is better
protected in case of accident.
J. NEW SAFETY-BEAM HEAD LAMPS, let JTOU See both
farther ahead (up to 80 feet more) and better
(in fog, rain, snow). There's less glare, too,
for oncoming drivers.
3. new safety seat BELTS are securely bolted to
floor supports and help - protect wearers in
emergencies. Available for driver and passengers.
Easily adjusted with one hand.
4. new padded instrument panel has a thick plastic cushioning
filler with excellent protective qualities. Helps prevent injuries
in case of impact against the instrument panel.
5. new safety door locks are designed to hold doors closed
under three times as much impact as former locks. Safety
research shows there is much less likelihood of serious injury in
accidents if passengers are not thrown from the cars.
6. rear door safety lockino device is available in 4-door
models. Children cannot unlock and jopen doors until the driver
uses a key to trip the safety catch.
7-8. NEW CUSHIONED SUN VISORS, NEW FULl-SWIVEl SAFETY REARVIEW
MIRROR are extra safeguards for driver and passengers.
O-IO. NEW 225- AND 210-HP SAFETY-SURGE V-i ENGINEStAND IMPROVED
safety-grip brakes. You enjoy more usable power than ever for
split-second pickup, safer passing, easier hill climbing. Stop
ping action is smoother, surer, too. 'Optional
- v - I r. .. ,,,.,,
Everywhere you look in the big m for 1956, there's
something new to see or try. ,
For instance, the big m's new 12-volt electrical system
lets you start faster than ever. Mercury's exclusive-in-its-field
ball-joint front suspension is further improved to
give you even more superb handling ease and comfort.
And the big M is styled new in dozens of exciting ways,
from bumper to bumper. To accent its extra length, there'
spectacular Flo-Tone color styling. Insidej fabrics are
even more colorful, durable, luxurious. ,
For hardtop fans, the best news of all is that Mercury's
famous low-silhouette beauty is now available in every
series Montclair, Monterey and Custom. See and drive
the big M at your Mercury dealer's. Come in today!
r-or 1956 The big move is to THE BIG llfJERCURY
J
Don't miss the big television hit, Ed Sullivan's "TOAST OF THE TOWN," Sunday evening, 8:00 to 9:00. Station KBES-TV, Channel 5.
6th b Ivy o Phone 2-6157