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... - -
iers or ttaaio ana TV Announcers
Assembled in New York Man's Collection
New York (U.R) "Our
film this evening," said the tele
vision announcer, "will be a re
vival featuring the late. Leslie
Howard as the Scarlet Pumper
nickel ; , : v :-
'Er, the Scarlet Pimple .
"I mean the Scarlet Pimper
. nel." v -
The - announcer who pulled
that one wished no one was list
ening. But among the thousands
who chuckled at his blooper was
Kermit S chafer, .who not only
gets a fiendish glee out of hear
ing an announcer fluff his lines
but collects such boners for post
erity. ' - ..
Soap Salesman Goofed k
The well intentioned announc
er who held up a cake of soap
and urged listeners to "Use it
in, your shlub or tower" is. in
Schafer rogue's gallery along
with the lady who told house-
wifes the 'correct way to place
"porks and foons" on the table.
': Schafer has three radios play
ing all the time into tape record
ers at his home at Central Val
ley, N.Y. His collecting started
as a hobby 20 years ago and
now he's making money . at it
The' best of his collection just
came out , on two long-playing
records called "Pardon My
. Blooper." ' ; : J'
' "Audience participation pro
grams are best," Schafer said.
Rubber Fence Posts
Reduce Traffic Toll
Cuyahoga Falls. O. U.R)
Rubber fence posts for motorists
with wooden heads have given a
good account of themselves at ah
experimental point here for the
past year. ; . ; ti
Goodyear Tire & Rubber Co.
made hollow rubber posts for
the beginning of a traffic island
where Broad Boulevard becomes
a divided highway. The old-type
steel posts had taken a heavy
toll of drivers who couldn't get
out of the center of the street
fast enough.
Now : the r errant "autos just
bang into the rubber posts, bend
them over and come to a rough
stop. The biggest . damage bill
recorded during , the year was
$10. rri -r'i
Of course it 'plays "hob" with
statistics. No one now knows
how many wobbly drivers smack
into the posts and then - back
off, full of admiration for .the
strength of ' their bumpers. . it
used to be easy to keep track
of them. The police tow 'truck
had to tear them loose.
"So are kiddie programs and
the informal shows like Arthur
Godfrey and Steve Allen." J
Granddaddy of All
According to Schafer the
granddaddy of them all was com-
Two Agricultural
Groups To Meet
..Two-agricultural ' committee
meetings have been set for next
Monday and Tuesday in Med
ford, which J. C. Moore, Oregon
State college -conservation spec
ialist,' will attend, according to
W.B. Tucker, county, extension
agent.- :r. - ' -
The Monday meeting will be
on land classification ; in the
county, and - will include the
state committee and local classi
fication group 1 of the - Jackson
County Agricultural council. To
be discussed 'is the reclassifica
tion of certain county lands from
the . timber , to grazing, which
will make a difference in the
state fire "tax.' No county land
is now in - the grazing category.
The fire protection tax is eight
cents an acre for timber; land
and only five cents an acre for
grazing, Tucker pointed out.
,On Tuesday, the land use com
mittee of the county council will
meet with Moore to discuss and
recommend work on' the import
ant phases of the governor's
-tuiuio3 saoinosai jshav yepsds
tee, whose report is being stud
ied by the state legislature. Lyle
Watts was chairman of the spec
ial committee, -; and Don Lane;
former local Chamber of Com
merce manager, was secretary.
PICKED WRONG BUDDIES ,
Springfield, 111. XU.R) Cla
rence O'Corinel was . in jail to-H
day because he picked the wrong
men to be his partners in crime.
O'Connel, 47, approached - two
men on a downtown street Wed
nesday and offered them part of
the loot from a proposed holdup
if they would get him a gun. One
of them was a detective and the
other a former policeman. w
SHOULD KEEP EYES OPEN
Newark, N.J. U.PJ - Photog
rapher Melvin Weiss complain
ed to police that when he poked
his head under, the black cloth
of his tripod mounted camera to
focus it Wednesday, 1 someone
stole another camera he had set
up to take a picture of a store
front. . . -
Boundaries of the District of
Columbia" were proclaimed - on
March 30, 1971.
mitted by announcer Harry Von
Zell almost 25 years, ago. He
solemnly introduced a.speaker:
"Ladies and gentlemen, the
President of the United States
Hoobezt Heever."
( Other gems from the Schafer
collection: ' ,:
An announcer who said: "We,
now bnng you Mister - Keene,
loser of traced persons." :
The director of a war bond
drive who was introducing actor
Walter Pidgeon and said: "Mr.
Privilege . this is indeed ; a
pigeon."
Fog Really Thick ' :-
The actor who gasped: "The
fog was as thick as sea poop."
The disc jockey who said:
"and now for a tune by George
Gershwin and his lovely wife,
ira ...",.. b :c-:;-,:
And the announcer, who said:
'.'And. now to conclude our pro
gram of Christmas carols, our
guest star will sing 'O Come All
Ye Faithful by Adeste Fidelis'."
Child) Traits May
Be Clue To Future
' West Orange, N..J. (U.R)
If your child fills his room with
rocks, shells, insects, or dead
leaves, don't treat him as a de
linquent. ' - - " "
, You may have a future scien
tist on your hands. -:
- According to Dr. Holland J.
Gladieux, a science teacher, such
collecting is one of many traits
common to science - talented
youngsters. , Dr. Gladieux is as
sistant principal and head of the
science department at the Ken
more, N. Y., high school.
.: Other traits peculiar to would
be scientists, according to Dr.
Gladieux:. ' v " -.
1. He waits for his teacher be
fore school to discuss a scientific
problem. T ' ' - ' , ' '
2. He asks searching questions
in science class. ' ; 7 .....
3. He has; a science-library of
technical books. ;f " ? ;v
4. At one time he built model
airplanes, j
- - 5. He's handy with a soldering
iron, has a home laboratory in
the basement. . .
6. He has a part-time job, using
his ; earnings to buy home lab
equipment'
r 7. He is a radio "ham.n, K
'r 1 8. He belongs to all the science
clubs and is working on a pro
ject to enter in a science con
test. J.-;:- r-,'f' '-1
. 9. His mother complains to his
teacher that he talks science
morning, noon and night. - , - - ;
worn
TFe ohly ooffee in the
with that
Good to iMUst Dtop ffevor
mm
'
it ir&o peofite than 7
-any other band
Hormel Shooting
Incident Called:
Publicity Stunt
Hollywood (U.R) A publics
ity man and an actor who con
fessed firing 'a shot into the
home of meat packing heir
George Hormel, insisted today it
was a "publicity stunt" they
planned with "Hormel. ; : ;i ;
Hollywood detectives last
night booked Anthony Kent, 26,
HormeFs press agent, and actor
Fred Hartman, 37, both of Holly
wood, on suspicion of ' "felon
iously and maliciously discharg
ing a 5 gun into an inhabited
dwelling." - -Stunt
Said Planned ,
Detectives said Kent admitted
firing from a borrowed J22 rifle
into Hormel's three-story Laurel
Canyon home while he and Hart
man stood' near their parked
car- However, Kent claimed it
was a publicity "stunt they plan
ned with Hormel. - -" '
Hormel was . questioned by
police for several hours last night
along with the two, shooting sus
pects. He denied any complicity
in " the incident and was re-:
leased."'
Detectives A. W. Hubka and
William Muniers quoted Kent as
saying Hormel suggested the
shooting as a way ""to get even
with the cops" for the heir's re
cent arrest and trial on a nar
cotics charge. '
Window Splintered
Hormel, ; 26, .now a nightclub
pianist who only last we,ek was
acquitted of marijuana posses
sion charges, told police a shot
splintered a window in his home
early Tuesday morning, narrow
ly missing him. ; 7:
Hormel said he was talking on
the telephone when the . bullet
crashed through the window and
hit a wall only a few .inches
above him. He said he dropped
to the floor to "'take cover,
crawled - to another room and
called police.
Push-Buff on Age .
Produces Hew Bed
San Francisco U.R)i ; The
push-button , age has now 'pro
duced a completely mechanical
hospital bed. ;
The invalid's "dream bed" can
save approximately half a
nurse's time in these days when
the nursing profession is badly
understaffed.
- Named the Beem Bed after its
surgeon - inventor, Dr. Marvel
Beem of Los Angeles, more than
10 years' work and a third of a
million dollars went into its de
velopment. ' It was unveiled re
cently at Stanford University
Hospital here. This is the first
hospital to receive a permanent
ly installed Beem Bed.
An array of buttons along the
shiny metal edge of the bed's
adjustable tray offers the patient
his choice of services. If. he'd
like to wash his hands', for ex
ample, he presses the one mark
ed "lavatory." ' - '
With a soft hum of machinery,
a gleaming porcelain wash basin
emerges for beneath the bed and
rises to his side. Still another
button causes a two-foot-square
section of the bed to slide off to
the side and up comes a built-in
toilet complete with sewer con
nection and flushing control. -
Among other innovations are
a built-in stretcher on wheels,
called a "guerney," an automatic
bed oscillator, a 'Balkan frame"
for traction of splinted limbs
and built-in scales enabling the
patient to weigh himself while
lying down. ;
Horse Still Trapped
Atop Silyerheels
Fairplay, Colo. (U.R) Ranch
ers in this high Rocky Mountain
village sat around warm stoves
today and worried about a suf
fering horse trapped 12,000 feet
up on frigid Mount Silverheels.
The horse may have been on
the mountain since last summer,
forgotten ' by sheepherders.
Three weeks ago . it was first
spotted . through field . glasses,
either hobbled or accidentally
pinned on the northwest face
of the mountain by a trailing
rope entangled in a rock.
Snow flurries forced ranch
er Chalton Hill yesterday t to
postpone a rescue attempt with
his Bar-D hands. And the Weath
er Bureau at Denver said more
snow and suD-zero coia was ex
pected on Mount Silverheels to
day.
ROAD WORK ORDERED
Milwaukee, Wis U.R Judge
Frank E. Greeorski revoked
Howard A. Pecard's drivers' li
cense Wednesday for drunk driv
ing and ordered him to "run
back and forth, to work every
day" to cet "in real good shape.'!:
Pecard made the mistake of tell
ing the judge he was an amateur
boxer.
SXPrCB&CTTFn COMMENTS ;
Los Angeles XU.R), A safe
cracker who failed to open a
new safe installed by the Mur
ray Insurance Co. after an old
one had been -- cracked twice,
vrralnl ho words "Good Safe"
across the strongbox., door with
chalk. v1
The. United States Mint . In
San Francisco is one of hree
6,500'MUe Ambulance
Trip Takes Man Home
Leicester, Mass. U.R) An ex
Marine sergeant has tried a new
way to see the country. Stephen
R. PayneV 25, of Leicester, Mass.,
returned . home here after a
6,500-mile trip in an embulance.
After Payne received a west
coast discharge, he worked in
Los Angeles for a time and then
decided to come ; home, i He
bought a secondhand ambulance
for $295, installed an air mat
tress and expensive photo
graphic , equipment : and. started
driving. ; ; i Hi-r-fK'
En route Payne indulged' his
hobby of , railroad photography
and followed the railroad lines.
When he reached Chicago, he
put away his cameras and made
a bee-line for Leicester. - ' -
Kaye Bros. Circus
Due Here January 27
, Among the. attractions which
will be with the Kaye Bros, in
door circus, : which will play
here Jan.: 27, will be trained
dogs, : ponies, a baby., elephant,
jugglers, trampoline and aerial
artists, according to members of
the ' Medford 20-30 club, which
is sponsoring the circus here.
The show will be in the high
school - auritorium. There will
be two performances, in after
noon and 'evening.
WEATHER
..: By United Press
Northern California: Fair, ex
cent local mornine cloudiness
and fog; little change in temper
ature. .-;
Thursday. Jannarr 20, 1931
MEDFORD (OREGON) 1IAO. TRX3U5&-OEYE3
December Welfare
Costs $106,686;
Up From Year Ago
The net cost' of public welfare
payments dur ing December,
1954, in Jackson county was
$106,686.55, according to Mrs.
Blanche Lyman, administrator of
the . county public welfare de
partment. ; ; ' ' . ' '
' This compares to..- a cost of
$101,100.85 in November of
1954, and' $97,161.72 in Decem
ber of 1953. .
r Included in last month's total
was $63,637.67 for old-age as
sistance, totaling 946 etls; $16,
363 for aid to 398 '.'dependent
children in 134 cases; $14,609.55
for general assistance, including
131; family cases and 171 single
cases; $1,733.12 for foster home
care for. 36 children, of which
$170.16 was repaid; $9,795.37 for
aid to the permanently , and to
tally disabled,' 124 cases; and
$718 for? aid; toithe bUnd,; 10
cases. ' -'. ::: '';' "'
; ,The . general, 'assistance pay
ments for the month included
$4,246.57 in cash grants; . $2,
821.25 in requisition relief; $584
for burials; $4,666.36 for hos
pitalization, and J2.291.37 for
medical care other - than hos
pitalization. '
Of the 302 general assistance
cases, 260 (including 504 per
sons) were resident cases, and 42
were non-resident. - '
Eilai7lil6lirylG MlGfc
534 EAST MAIN
(Across from Hawthorne Park)
Free Delivery mSSLPIv 2-C716
SHOULDER (corn-fed pork).
BEEF
Itert ill
g it. "jj S).
Q
MARGARINE
lbs. Qc
U.S. No. 1 Yellow
D
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Accounts Accepted on Approved Credit
MdDWX ,
YOUR BIG
CHANCE TO
MEW: 12)
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JANUARY OH LY!
05 Ktow . ;
us
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SE E
The Coropleto
Line of New
1955
GE RANGES
On Display '
Now
'
-1
PHONE 2-CDCG
in-the nation
-- r.