TWO MEDFORD (OREGON) MAIL TRIBUNE
Friday. July 18. 1952
On The Side by e. v.'Dwiing
(Distributed by Kins, Features Syndicate, Inc.)
What is the youngest age, in
any field of endeavor, at
which a person is eligible for a
pension? How about the New
York police department? A
man can become a New York
policeman at 21 and retire on a
pension of half pay' twenty
years later at 41. Quite a few
New York policewomen are
married to policemen. If a mar
ried pair, a policewoman and a
policeman, joined the force
when both were 21 they could
retire at 41 and their pensions
would amount to a full pay
check. Not bad. Also keep in
mind there is nothing prevent
ing a policeman or a police
woman on a pension from tak
ing another job.
Asking
Queries from clients. Q. In
pronouncing the name of that
university in South Bend, Ind.,
which is correct, "Notre Dahm"
or "Notre Daym"? A. I think
"Notre Dahm" is correct, but
the faculty, students, alumni
and the citizens of South Bend
pronounce it "Notre Daym."
Why the cathedral in Paris
should be pronounced "Notre
Dahm" and the university
"Notre Daym" baffles me. Q.
What was the name of the
tango Valentino danced in the
film, "The Four Horsemen of
the Apocalypse?" A. Your query
is an interesting one, sir, but I
cannot answer it. Speaking of
the "Four Horsemen" film, the
late Marcus Loew told me that
it saved the Metro Film Com
pany, now known as MGM, from
bankruptcy.
Haggis
Do you know how the Scotch
delicacy called haggis is made?
I have just received straight
from Glasgow a recipe for
haggis. It sounds a little ghastly
to me. But here it is: "Stuff the
bag of a sheep's stomach, half
filled with its heart, liver and
lungs, all minced up; then add
one-half pound suet, onion, oat
meal and spices. Boil three
hours."
Passing By
John Fox. Business ' genius.
Said to have made $25,000,000
in ten years. Among Mr. Fox's
innumerable possessions are
I three private planes and six St.
Bernard dogs . . . Gertie Law
rence. Brillant singing actress.
I saw Gertie in her American
debut. In Chariot's Revue. She
sang "Limehouse Nights." Miss
Lawrence was born on the
Fourth of July. She lives in the
USA, has a town house in Man
hattan, a country place in Con
necticut but recently told a
London . newspaperman ... she
would never give up her British
citizenship .... "Big Jim"
Healey. Veteran trainer of thor
oughbreds. Mr. Healey,' who
weighs 260, has recently de
veloped an interest in tennis.
He conscientously endeavors to
follow the advice as put forth in
that poetic helpful hint:
The secret of tennis
Ii control and restraint.
And hitting the ball
Where the other fellow ain't.
Paper Wedding
An effort is being made to
have the first wedding anniver
sary called the "plastic wed
ding" instead of the "paper wed
ding." This it is alleged, will
make a wider selection of gifts
possible. I recall an occasion
when somebody said: "Just what
worth while thing can you of
fer as a gift at a paper wed
ding7" One young woman spoke
up saying: "A $100 bill is paper."
She was a green-gray-eyed
blonde.
Briefly
You can't really say you
have a family unless you have
at least three children. So says
an expert on life among the mar
ried. How are you doing? . . .
There are now 30,000 members
of the United States armed
forces stationed in England.
Mostly Air Force men. There
must be a good reason.
Horses & Women
When your grandma was a
whistle girl there was a popular
song entitled "You Don't Know
Nellie Like I Do, Said the
Naughty Little Bird on Nellie's
Hat." Featuring stuffed birds on
feminine headgear was quite
popular in those days. Now I
note it is going to be revived.
Stuffed birds on hats strikes me
as the second most ridiculous
fashion of the twentieth century.
Aged Cartoonist's Drawings Provide Illustrated History
By OTTO FRIEDRICH
U.P. Staff Correspondent
London (U.R) In the fore
ground of a Max Beerbohm car
toon of "Some Persons of the
Nineties" loiters a fragile wist
ful young dandy with large,
long-lashed eyes and feet that
taper to a pinpoint.
In another, "The Incompar
able Max," now sporting a cav
alry mustache, sits before the
fire with his quill and paper,
brooding: "they call me the in
imitable and the incomparable,
and the sprightly and the whim
sical ... I wonder if I am?
The young dandy, who has
outlived Oscar Wilde, George
Moore, William Butler Yea,
Walter Sickert, Aubrey Beard
sley and all the others in his'pic
ture of "Persons of the Nine
ties," was honored by the open
ing of a 150-picture retrospec
tive show at the Leicester Gal
lery in honor of his 80th birth
day this summer.
His delicate, p e n-a n d-i n k
drawings provide an illustrated
history of the famous and fatu
ous of the past 70 years. Some
of them are simple portraits,
others are elaborate jokes.
Mocking Wit
All of them show the same
delicately mocking wit that ani
mated his volumes of essays,
stories and parodies and his
unique novel, "Zuleika Dob-
son."
To the elfin-like old man who
now lives widowed and ailing in
Rapallo, Italy, they brought a
1939 knighthood and a well-
deserved fame as one of the top
humorists of the century.
A staunch conservative, Beer
bohm nonetheless found mon
archy funny and the Leicester
exhibition included his famous
picture of Queen Victoria mak
ing the Prince of Wales sit in
the corner on one of his "rare,
rather awful visits to Windsor
Castle.
Another cartoon shows King
Edward VII so pleased with his
bust on newly-printed coins that
he refuses to wear either
lar or a necktie.
Beerbohm's political scenes
include the cherubic young Win
ston Churchill lounging in an
armchair at the board of trade
and telling its worried members:
"Oh, I understand all these
figures right enough. What
we've got to do, gentlemen, is to
put some er humanising
ger into 'em."
40 Years Later
Forty years later, a placid
Churchill puffs a cigar that
iof himself.
I Beerbohm, always the esthete,
reserved his sharpest barbs for
the writers, painters and actors
he has known and mocked for
two generations. 1
In one of a series on George
Bernard Shaw at his usual an
tics, Beerbohm looks on with
the "mild surprise of one who,
gin- i -
E SURE YOUR
CAMP FIRE
15 OUT. X yiH
KEEP 0REG0HtIcC2L
revisiting England after a long
absence, finds that the dear fel
low has not moved." As for
snaw ne is standing, on his
head.
One picture shows Henry
James, a portly man with an
umbrella groping to find his
hand before his face in a Lon
don fog. Another shows James
returning to America, where he
is greeted by an Indian saying
"hail, great white novelist."
There is an Indian village in
Brooklyn. Some 400 Mohawks
live as neighbors in comfortable,
modern apartments.
Most ridiculous, of course, was
the hobble skirt.
Literary Note
Ninety per cent of the people
of Soviet Russia can now read.
However, their reading is strict
ly controlled. The government
publishes and sells all books
available. It also controls all the
lending libraries. There have
been circulated in Russia 540,
000,000 copies of books written
by Stalin.
Lb
liArJij utilwdj
Ave, I?
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brer for slender or small
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classic for largest legs.
5
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