PAGE EIGHT
MEDFORD MAIL TRIBTTN'E, MEDFORD, OREGON, TTTESDAT. MARCH 26. 1935.
THE WORLD AT ITS WORST
By CLUYAS WILLIAMS
$230,000 IN SERA
U li II T RICHES
T
SYKOPSlBi Since the death of
his jiaren's and grandparent!,
James Htimson. Ill, hat been head
of the htimson family in Sew Con
cord, Kas., and hat received tht
attention such a position justified
in Sew Concord. But now he it at
echool in the East, and heina a
Sew Concord Htimson amounts to
vothlnq at all. Sor can James find
those "tr mutations" aaatnst which
his Aunt harah has uarned htm.
Chapter Nina
THE SPEECH
THERE were In a place called the
"Fern Sem" a few carefully
chaperoned feminine young things
who occasionally made surreptl
tloua eyes at the young gentlemen of
the Academy when they passed on
the street, but It was considered be
neath the dignity of these latter to
notice the Fern Sems.
i Now and then a few servant girls,
arm In arm, tearfully self-conscious
and rather aghast at their daring.
I strolled about the campus In the
twilight and might possibly have
been tamed to.
James scarcely noticed them be
fore they were shooed away by
watchful guardians, the boys being
most carefully looked after by the
higher powers.
James was much used to the so
ciety of his elders and he would
have gladly made friends with bis
teachers. However, the latter were
busy hard-driven men and were
either Indifferent or never noticed
bis shy advances.
One of his masters Indeed, the
physics prof, proved actively Inimi
cal. This gentleman finding It pain
fully easy to render James inarticu
late with embarrassment, varied the
monotony of his classroom by mak
ing game of this tongue-tied young
bean pole of a Westerner.
"Well, Mr. Stlmson," he would say
suavely, "you seem to be fairly burst
ing to express your valuable ideas.
Suppose you give us the benefits of
your opinion on this subject'
Mr. Stlmson would thereupon Un
fold himself and rise blushlngly to
his feet and stammer a disjointed
reply while the class tittered and
the master goaded him Into further
Incoherence.
At the end of the term James
turned In so good an examination
paper in physics that his professor
practically accused the boy of cheat
ling and thereby all but broke his
iheart James could scarcely reply to
this monstrosity so near was he to
blubbering, but he stammered some-
'how an offer to take an oral exami
nation and after a few questions
was given a grudging half apology.
James left school at the end of bis
first term with his self-confidence
and solt-esteem crushed and shat
tered almost beyond mending. Back
in Now Concord they began to re
vive somewhat, but he never after
believed quite so firmly In himself
as he had and was for years vague
ly tnougn unconsciously expectant
ox rebuffs from strangers.
His summer was hsppy enough
after a fashion though he missed his
grandmother constantly and his
grandfather acutely at Intervals,
Perhaps It was bis pride that kept
him from confiding to the Judge or
Aunt Sarah how unhappy he had
been at school or how be dreaded to
CO back.
However, before James left home
that autumn be enlisted the aid of
Judge Holcomb and got the promise
or a regular and mora adequate al
lowance as well as two suits of ex
tremely smart tailor-made clothes
made In Kansas City.
(This lattor concession caused
Miss Sarah many qualms of con
science and quite ruined her peace
ful communion with her Maker for
many, many Sundays as Mr. Davis,
the New Concord tailor, passed her
the plate In church and never failed
to look reproachfully at her.)
TAMES, however, as one of his
classmates assured him, ap
peared almost human that term.
Perhaps this fulsome praise went to
James' head for the first thing he did
afterwards was to buy the paper on
the wall from a departing upper
classman whose room he was taking
over.
Ills predecessor explained that he
had been put to great expense In re
paperlng and painting the room the
previous term and It seemed reason
able to James that, since he blmself
was to enjoy the results, he should
recompense the other In part
James was truly no wizard in
finance but how anyone with a New
England ancestry could lack so ut
terly a bargaining sense It seems
bard tn comprehend but then
James was only half a New England
er. And, of course, as his Aunt Sarah
often pointed out, James did not
come from a line of shopkeepers.
His ancestors were college profes
sors, clergymen, Judges snd the like.
E
TAX RETURNS UP
SALEM, Mar. 2fl. (AP Collec
tions of 1Q33 personal Income, In
tangibles and corporate excise taxes
up to Saturday night haj shown
34 per cent Increase over the corres
ponding period In 1034, the state tax
commission reported today. A total
of ft8Dft7 has been collected this
year compared to M37.04631 over
the same period lust year,
Tnx returns must be filed with the
commission by April 1, or penalties
and Interest will be Imposed.
Tsx commissioners estimated that
1,050,000 would be collected In 1833
U tgaluat tlQ0.0UQ Ust yew.
James' last year at school
actively unhappy. Ha was In a d,.
mltory now and had a roommate ami
was besides a senior with all the
privileges and prestige that implies,
but he would have left school with
out making more than the most
shadowy of impressions It it had not
been for his graduating essay.
He chose Kansas then for bis
theme, his beloved, misunderstood,
sneered at, jeered at Kansas and
worked for weeks collecting pages
and pages of the most beautifully
deadly statistics destined solely to
annihilate any and all who doubted
for a moment that that particular
bit of Eden was not only the richest,
the most favored, and God-endowed,
as well as the most cultured state In
the Union.
Then he wrote them all down In
order firstly, secondly, thirdly, etc.,
major premise, minor premise, ar
gument and conclusion until he had
before him a very masterpiece of
unanswerable facts, and burned to
make use of 1L
But when the moment came for
James to read bis essay and he rose
to face the hundreds of indifferent,
slightly bored faces that were gath
ered there from every state in the
Union a certain sixth sense sudden
ly whispered to him that his statis
tics would be only so many num
bers In their disinterested minds and
forgotten before they were compre
hended. '"pHED same sixth sense made him
! realize that to reach that vast
crowd he must first stir their Imagi
nations and touch their hearts. If It
were only possible to paint for them
the glory of his state, Us splendid
independence, the very essence of
Americanism; Its originality. Its
steadfastness, the romance of Its be
ginning, the love it inspired In Its
children . . . and all at once James
felt that be could do all this.
It was altogether a new sensation
this consciousness of power and
It frightened him a little even while
It thrilled him. His voice trembled
and broke and his knees threatened
to betray him.
But this sudden fine ardor, this
something that came to him from
somewhere, after the first sentence
or two, made him quite forget him
self and swept aside all self-consciousness.
His voice ceased trembling and
gathered richness and volume. He
could be heard to the very ends of
the hall and the hundreds of
mothers, fathers, sisters, and aunts
who had come to hear one boy's
great effort and no other's ceased
fanning or whispering or fidgeting
on their seats and James knew that
they were listening to him and
waiting to hear what he had to tell
them.
James had other great moments
afterwards in bis life but probably
none quite reached that moment
when he first knew that he held his
audience In the hollow of bis hand
and could do with it as he pleased.
Fortunately he pleased to be brief.
His written speech which he still
held he never once glanced at,
though he quoted from It occasion
ally from memory, and ie delivered
so stirring, so moving an address
that when he sat down there was a
dead silence before the rafters rang
with enthusiastic cheers.
Miss Sarah, who had come East
to witness James' graduation was
so moved she broke down and cried
and Judge Holcomb, who had come
for the same purpose (but not by
the same train, for that would not
have been proper) all but did.
Even the head of the Academy
and the professors. Including the
hated physics prof, wero greatly Im
pressed at James' sudden display of
oratorical powers and made much
of him, while strangers crowded
about him and said kind words of
praise. Miss Sarah cried partly from
pride but more because James'
grandmother and grandfather were
not there to share in his triumph.
Judge Holcomb. however, was
proud enough to eorve for half a
dozen sets of parents and grand
parents. The first Friday after James'
triumphant return from school the
walls of the Stlmson Mansion
showed the stuff they were made of
by standing up stoutly under the
roars the Judge catapulted at them
In his argument with Miss Sarnh and
James over the latter's choice of a
future career.
The argument had been brought
about by a casual remark by Miss
Sarah at the dinner table that her
nephew planned to study medicine.
Put he's got a Heaven sent gift
of oratory," thundered the Judge.
"It's rarer than horns on a rooster."
(Copyright, lit.is Stateel H. Famhamt
Tomorrow, dlntter strikes MlM
Sirih.
PORTLAND C. OF C. TO
1
PORTLAND. Murrti 30 (API
mimrrtlsto sutrivute activity to ssvr
the aas.ooo.ooo Columbia rlv.r sal
mon Industry (rum . xtrrmlnatlnn
by provtclliiK ailcqnati. Ilnhwnve at
Bonneville dam iu Inaugurated by
the chamber of commerce today. Ar
guments have been made thnl pres
ent building BOccmcntlona for tlsh
ways do not provide sninelent lad
ders for fish migration. Coii(ire.v.
will be menvorlallred for an addi
tional si.ooo.ooo for the fiMiwms.
"Factory slyly workmanship m
watch and jewelry repairing at the
lowest possible prices. Johnson the
Jeweler.
L
PORTLAND, March 36. (AP
In program covering an expendi
ture of t230.0OO of SERA money, the
Oregon emergency relief administra
tion today approved ' several large
work relief projects, some of which
will run over a- period of weeks and
into months.
One of the larger Jobs calls for
flood control work In Salem, In
widening, deepening and correcting
alignment of Shelton ditch from
12th street to the Willamette river.
Other work approved today Includ
ed: continuing project for making
comforters for relief families at
Klamath Palls; veil drilling In Har
ney county; grading streets of Dal
las; razing old school building and
salvaging materials In Klamath
county; Improving school grounds at
Merrill, Bonanza, dairy. Fort Klam-'
ath. Falrhaven, Poe Valley, Summers.
Henley, Chlloquln, Algoma, Alta
mont, Shasta and Crescent, all In
Klamath county; providing work for
Lane county relief families by clean
ing up or eradicating abandoned or
neglected fruit or nut orchards
where they menace agricultural In
dustries; and special survey on fruit
trees and berry census In Douglas
county.
4
Bring In your old gold I pay the
top cash prioa. Government Li
cense. Johnson the jeweler.
S-MATTER POP
A A f IWSTAWCB., ) loUSPoT. - AfX ( TSiKWb V
rh "7 V VAT To MV&ELF- J fS "X V. Y$
lL'f "s1 jfr j r5 SsJ fPtrwrigtl; I9S8, oyTteBdl ByadTeate. he.) J
TAILSPIN TOMMY Suspicious ! By Hal Forrest
r,10JXu2,2 m&WOMrS INSTRUCTED-TO YANKEES,:.-HOU) OO I
BEN WEBSTER'S OAKHBB Sad Farewells! ' '" 1 f ' .Bv Ftwin Al-er
i BEN, IT BREAKS W Aw. BEK1. 00 You WfflffifflMffi'S I PERHAPS IF T NOW, 1 1 ( lit NEVER FORGET WHAT YOO I ( INDEED I WILL, ARCHIE i5 r$-
MY HEART TO HAVE M HONEST HAVE TO COULD TALK. WAIT A DID FOR ME, BEN-AND IF YOU GOOD-BYE, AND GOOD f Vfi-O-60O0-
YOU GO, BUT I KNOW A. DO IT ? TO THIS MAN, MINUTE, EVER, EVER.EVER. NEED A FRIEND, LUCK TO YOU 6OOD- Jl BYE, BEN J
HOW TOO FEEL-ALL I iWM?r7ri LUKE O'BRIEN. AMSON- WON'T YOU GIVE ME A ilP BYE TO YOU. TOO, Kj-rW'
CAN SAY, AY BOY, 15 J4jMz MMM HE WOULD ) He'sA CHANCC TO PROVgJT f e-ijlll f 6WEN J fwWW
THE NEBB3- The Lady Killer ay t'oi .esi
r I1-1 " 1 .Hl.. a- 1 .-,-rJ ., , ... IllllWllWinn I IN I
EVER. .SiKlCG MISS DEDJ OU KMCWJ A, BK3. CMEXKEREO KL, - v OEALOUSV1 Vol) rr TaiF "T 1
ave. WELCOME BEEN MA..06IU-) W COAT AUO A BED KiECKTIE: sTol 7 's3i '
ji MOUKJD TV4IS PLACE LIKE AM ..C: f. 'J "D0rrw 5iSS oSrl (COME BACK ANJO TELL MB LUuA 1
avjuioiw&.vou'D look, kjice rf" , ik amvboov S-i1;7 tmere. is to be ohalous op J
VawmXherojt.uke.a USffiBV0T MAes E , ASffft -ooraDE op your aSctte'A
BRINGINO UP FATHER By George lvicKianug
11 1 . . 1
TO GO ASHORE. THAT M' AH? v 0J g f Ji V
AND FIX THE , J TOO LJ YOU IDIOT'.'. V , ,- '( :V V? J? $ C
ENGINE- )A BAD?--, S N - VMYOIDYOU VJ I V n FsJU It II
1 iVfe! ttSh vfeg Q$LJ "Wfi7 Wl v m 1:
I l''i7' 1 . ', iimifiji fcttlS I -"f lV fttnttn Sf4us. ire. Gnu St.mn ngSa rwtmd 111'
The Medford board of education
today received a flattering communi
cation from Oscar F. Phillips of
Needles, California, asking that the
school records be checked to show
that Mr. Phillips was a student In
the Jacksonville school In 1872. "73
and '74. Medford was started when
the railroad first went through this
district, and was Incorporated as a
town tn 1885. The thought that the
office would have records of school
attendance In another city before
this city was discovered la flattering
enough, but Mr. Phillips Is going to
be disappointed when he finds that
the Medford records run back only
20 years, according to City School
Superintendent E. H. Hedrlck.
Mr. Phillips says that he was born
In 1857, and will be 78 in April. He
Is submitting an application to the
railroad retirement board, and must
submit along with It, a verification
of his age. A check of the records Is
being made.
ROYAL ARCH MASONS
WILL CONFER DEGREE
Crater Lake Chapter, No. 32, Royal
Arch Masons, will confer the Royal
Arch degree on a class of three can
didates at the Masonic temple to
night. All Royal Arch Masons are
urged to attend. Refreshments will
be served after the lodge. Otto Hor
ner Is In charge of the committee.
.
When It comes to radios, remember
-Prultt'a can do It." Phone 22.
PORTLAND, Ore., Mareh M. (AP)
Unknown to the crowd that pack
ed the courtroom, Sheila MacDonald,
youngest daughter of Ramsay Mac
Donald, prime minister of England,
attended a murder trial here today.
She Is a law student In England.
The case was the trial of Joseph
J. Os bourne, former special police
man, accused of having beaten to
death an elderly retired merchant,
Simon Mlsh.
Miss MacDonald said she had never
before witnessed an American court
proceedings, and found the trial
"most Interesting." She was to leave
tonight for San Francisco. She
reached Portland yesterday from
Vancouver. B. C, on a world tour
and Is traveling alone. From the
courtroom she went to the Portland
Museum of Art.
1
PROFITS AID SCOUTS
Proceeds of the dance In Jackson
ville Saturday night, March 30, will
be applied to the boy scout fund to
send a member of that troop to the
Jamboree In Washington. D. C, ac
cording to announcement.
As & special feature of the dance,
mothers of Jacksonville boy scouts
are planning to serve refreshments at
no charge In addition to admission
price.
IN ABSfRACflKe, ONE RAlSlW YOU
. UWDZRMIKE -THE FRUtf CEHfREPlECE
JU5Y (b -THE DOORBELL ANNOUNCES
THE ARRIVAL OF DINNER 6UESf5
:Copyright. 1936, hy Th B.I1 SiSest. tie J WlUIMfS
Bv C. M. Payne