PAGE
QUINTUPLET FLOCK
NEED OF COUNTRY
him Juggling id tfaa aupreme theat
rical ut and tie figure he's Just
about as good a juggler aa there 1.
In "The Old Fashioned Way." one
of hta latest pic t urea. Field persuad
ed Director William Baudlne to let
him work a couple of Juggling tricks
Into the picture, but when It came
around to hi "masterpiece" he was
forced to cut It down to eight clgir
boxea because of exigencies of the
camera shot.
In "Mrs, Wlggs of the Cabbage
Patch." which he is now making, ne
was all prepared to campaign for the
full trick. But Director Norman Tau
rog was ready for him.
"Remember. Bill," he said, "this
book la a classic that the world wants
as is. No Juggling."
"All right," aald Fields, "but I
still I can't understand why you want
me If I can't Juggle. I don't want to
be a comic; I want to be a Juggler."
And he went off shaking his head.
Farmer (1 O P Chief I hU houho!cl ood PurnUri-
If you want a really beautiful Per
manent, oall 101. Med ford Beauty
Shop, N. Central.
tiaS 1 Z LentS COSl,490 wn offered. Gillespie, recently
aeciarea bankrupt, said he wouldn't
DETROIT (UP) John Gillespie, for
mer state republican power, and 800
other persona attended an auction of
See B. Rose for Elbertaa.
Phone 643 We'll nam away youi
refuse City Sanitary Service,.
"I have only 13 cents on me." he
aald.
Use Mall Tribune want ads.
IS
Population Due To Start
Down Hill Around 1950
High Cost of Living, Not
Birth Control, Gets Blame
MEDFORD MATE TRIBTjyE. rEPrORD, OR EG ON. FRIDAY. AUGUST 10, 1934.
S3 lL si Jsl:'
Lv,iivt .- 1- . .. .....t-'.: j:: .. . 775 . J!?
Br Harry Ferguson
United Press Staff Correspondent
WASHINGTON. Aug. 10. (UP)
What this country needs la a flock of
quintuplets.
The census bureau says so, nd
they ought to know because they
spend all their time counting noses.
They figure that come the year 3000
A. D. Nev York probably will be a
Tillage. Chicago a cracker-barrel cross
roads and Washington will hare a
population of six the president, his
wife and the tn-laws.
Sometime between now and 1950,
the bureau estimates America's popu
lation will atop increasing, stand attll
tor a while and then start downhill
In 3000 A. D. presidential candidates
will run on a platform of furnishing
a fourth for bridge In every house
hold in the land.
700,000 More Next Year
. Right now we aren't In auch a bad
fix. When they count noses next year
there will be about 700,000 more of us
than there are now. But this Increase
will melt away, because the United
States no longer Is a young country,
but an old one. Canada la a young
country and what happens? Ask Papa
Dlonne.
If thlnga keep up the way they are,
there never can be more than 142,
000.000 Americana. RJght now there
are 130.000,000. The census people
thing that in five or alx years the
death and the birth rate will be bal
anced. In another 100 years rents
ought to start going down and con
gestion in Times Square will be auf
liciently relieved so you can cross the
street without a police escort.
Living Cost Blamed
We asked the census bureau to give
us the honest-to-gooduess lowdown on
why the population was going to de
crease and they aald they would.
Nope, It's not birth control that's
doing it. It's the high cost of living
chiefly. People don't rush out and get
married any more ust beoause some
blonde tells a guy he's big and strong
and she's so tired of it all. The fel
low counts his money, finds out he
hasn't got much and switches to
brunettes.
Bachelors write Into the bureau
every once in a while complaining
because they have to pay school tax
es when they haven't any kids to
send to school. They don't know
when they're well of.
Bachelors Beware
' As soon as the population starts
declining the government will take :
steps. It's already been done abroad.
England deducts' a lot of dough from 1
lnoome taxes for people who have
children; Italy pays a bonus for chil
dren; and France pays a, father lots
more than a single man for doing the
same kind of work.
The census bureau thinks all of us
may live to see the day when the
political slogan will be "a. baby m
very cradle" Instead of "a chicken
In every pot."
YE
TO DO JUGGLING
To the world, W. O. Fields is a big
success. He makes 'em laugh. He's
one of the most sought after party
guests tn Hollywood. But beneath
his humor is a secret sorrow, for pro
fessionally speaking BUI Fields Is an
embittered man. The world doesn't
appreciate his juggling.
Long before he turned to comedy,
he was a vaudeville Juggler, devoted
to his art. Most of his spare time
was spent in hotel rooms In honky
tonks, practicing feats of balance.
But no matter how hard he practiced,
his acta never received more than the
average flutter of applause. He set
his teeth and determined to roll 'em
in the aisles.
Finally, after many yeara of stub
born practice, Flelda perfected hla
masterpiece a trick of Juggling
twenty-five cigar boxes, end on end,
with a little rubber ball on top. First
tfie ball was dropped and caught in
bis other hand: then each box fol
lowed In succession, the top one fall
ing with machine-like precision
without disturbing the boxes beneath
it. It was a wow, and W, c. knew It.
And satisfied that he had reached
the ultimate at last, he packed up
his boxes and set out for the theater.
He did it aa the climax of hla act.
At the conclusion of the trick, he
whirled toward the audience with
outstretched arms and awaited the
applause. Several thousand dead
pans stared back at him in cathedral
like silence. He went off crushed.
It was several yeara later that he
decided to accompany his trick with
a line of humorous patter. It caught
on Instantly, and before he knew it
Fields found himself catapulted to
B-oadwsy. The second night at the
Palace the manager came to him,
patted him on the back and told him
he was the funniest man In America.
"But." he added, "after this you
better quit that Juggling and Just
talk"
fo Fields talked and afterwards
wrote another act for hlrrwelf Thn
rame the Follies. Earl Carroll's Vani
ties, yeara in several hit ahos. and
fmaKv the movies and contract w:th
Paramount.
But the big rlddl to Fields is his
cm carper He can't understand why
, trie wor'.d w.Mita him a a com:c .nn
it can hav hun as a Juggr, for to
Wards Bought Thousands for 500 Stores
To Get Such Sensational Sale Savings I
TK, VfWSJOr- TOT- wm.'TggTyr?'8Tffl'T i
3
m
9x12 Seamless AxmSnsfers
V
Each with Worth Own Label
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Sturdy wool Ruck In attractive pat-0f 90
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Large size, 27x50 In ..S2.19
s
$3 Down, M
Monthly,
Plus Carrying
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rientals
.88
$3 Down, $5
Monthly,
Tins Carrying
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Sale! Plaid Rag Rugs!
35
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special. Kach
I
him Ik'iVh,, WiVJIAu
Mattress
Soy of This SpKlal Prial
Z22r2 SH.88
drill ticking.
Coil Spring
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y
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Warm Blankets
Owno Cotton Plin i Woof
Four pounds!
Pastel plaids $J Qfl
72XJ4 inchejl ,QO
Suwo bcuadl
i. n j...
Solid
Walnut
Choice of
5 Styles ' I
II I C valuta at this low y 1
Hale price! Solid walnut f
orranlnnal tables, coffee i J
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Studio Couch
Made by Simmons! Low-Priced!
Use it as a couch by
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it to d o u b I e or two
twin beds., Compart
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Homespun covered.
S27-88
1 noun, M MnnHili.
rtwi arrlng rharge
Cedar Chest
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Matched
neeri oanride:
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i$19
i
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Card Table
Buy ll In tk Align SaUISanl
Unfinished g, jm nn
n d e d 1 .00
1 smooth, ready I
to paint, Onlr
Lamp Values
fiensatlonnl at This Price
light future. CO QC
Complete
This Easy Payment Plan
on Purchases of $20 or
more ma ket buying at
Wards easier still I
Lamps
junior
RHter Styk at a Low Prlf
Gives direct or
$5
Reasons for Wards Low Prices:
Furniture goes direct from maker to 500 Ward !S
stores no ln-btween profits
Cash resources to great no market opportunity
need ever be passed up g
"Out-of-season" purchases lower manufacturing S
costs still more . . you save
Wards frwcpjendy take en6re outputs of factories 3
s make low costs lower s
Mora people buy In this Sale than in any other 1
r furniture event In America
Table Lamp
Complete nlth Shndet Rale
Price!
Cnmnnal
Hon kiiiiH QQ
nmvhtnonl lrfil V I tiWW
shade to match I
All-Mohair Suite
2 Pieces at a Big Sale Savingl
SI
Again Wards save you
money! Again Wards
bring you value 1 2 big
pieces covered in An
gora mohair with mo
quette cushions.
4-88 f
(A pown, $7 Monthlr,
Plus Camlng Charge
mts
COUNT the FEATURES
CHECK-UP on PRICES
You'll Find the BIG Value Is
WARDS 16. FEATURE
Was h
$
t-t-00 Down
$4.nn a Month. Small Carrying Charge
arter , . , Cleaner . . . Snowitr . , , Gentferf
Only Wards low cost methods could make
this great washer possible at this bargain
price. All we ask is that you come and sea
HOW MUCH MORE you can buy at
Wards. Let this washer speak for itself
Famous Tangle-Proof Gyrator
Washboard Action Tub Wall
Time-Proved Lovell Wringer
1 1 Other Famous Big Feature!
LKJ
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