1
PAGE FOUR
MDDFOTCD MATL TRIBUNE, XfEDFORD, OREGON, MONDAY. DECEMBER 29, 19.10.
Medford Mail Tribune
Zkily tod Bund?
PubUfiwd bf
HxnroBu ruiauia CO.
ll-IMt N. fir BL Pboot T8
HUBERT W. RCHL, Kdltor
BLWl'TEK SMITH, Manager
Ail Indepeodent Ncvtpiper
IsUrad m Mcood flu uttpf tt Medford,
Precox under Act of Much 8, 187.
BCB8CB1PT10N RATES
9j Mall -la Adiux:
DJ1, ILb Bund, fear.... ..IT. 30
Dallj, ilUi Dundaj, Booth .T5
Dilj, vtiboul Sunday, fear 6. SO
DtUr. without Sunday, BUflU) 65
Sunday, mm rear 2 00
Br Carrie, to Adianet Medford, Adiland.
iMlaotwlLU, Central Puiot, Mweoli. Talent, tiold
Bill ahd on Highway:
Dally, with Sunday, aonth ....$ .T5
. Dally, without Sunday, month fi!i
.ally, without Sunday, out year 7.00
Dally, with Sunday, otm jut 8.00
All term. eab In adrane.
Offltlal paper or the City or Med'ord.
Official paper oT Jackwa County.
MEMBER Or IMF. ABSOCIATEn PRE&l
Heeelnnf Pul! Leucd Wire Berrle,
TtM Associated I'rfu b eitlujjulj twilled to
lbs um for publication of all new diipalebea
rrcdlud to H or otherwise credited In Oil piper,
lad tiro to toe local nets published herein.
All rifhu for publication of special dlapaUbei
aerets are also reserred.
HKJIBBIt DP AUDIT BIHKAU
W CIKCUL.tTI0.V8
MEMBER OF THE UNITED rFM
Ye Smudge Pot
(By Arthur Perry)
The mnple syrup for the morn
ins paneukes Ik just us friendly
with the wuler faucet as the milk
ukciI to bo.
AmonK tho coiiflpicuoua ladies of
the land who uhould he chained
Indefinitely to a kitchen fdnk full
of dirty dinhe8, is "I'eueheH"
Brownltiff, who hopped Into prom
inence when un aged and wealthy
galoot went crazy aomo yeurs ago
and wed her. The ludy Is squatty,
fat-tegged, and her complexion is
none to good, but these charm
defects in no wUe dim the urdor
of her gold-digging procllvltleM.
Hhe Is always suing her "Daddy,"
being asHisted by her Ma, and a
swarm of- lawyers. Her latest ap
pearance In tho courts, Is for
K'0,000, and $.!(., 000 attorney's
fees,. Oold-dlggers generally look
like something, posuess brains, and
skin their victims with a delight
ful thoroughness. Not so with
"Peaches." Her sole equipment Js
a ghoulish brazennoes.
AS (iVHPKOTKD.
(Helix, Ore., IteiiiH)
In a fight Christmas Day,
Walter Hltzcrt had a tooth
broken out, another loosened,
received a cut ' Up which
reached to his noso and took
eight stitches to closo It, nlito
a cut under tho cyo which
required one stitch. Ills op
. poncnt hit him. .
'Hev. Tngnlls was to deliver a
sermon Hunduy, but ho had engino
trouble'' (Hmith River News.)
Let's overhaul his Ignition. . .
Secretary of tho : Treasury An
drew Mellon, 'himself ono of the'
. world's-richcBt men, and tho chief
frelter for Big Uuslnens, now pro
poses that the government deduct
the charity donations of corpora
tions from their income tax. Tills
comes closo to bolng tho height of
Solicitude, for those who don't
need It,, besides placing a premium
on. the sweotcst of human virtues.
1 .
Thero Is considerable talk about
tho "buying power of tho dollar."
What tha I neods Is more linger
ing power.
' ' The'County court sot the ainount
that Hheriff Kil. W. Hawkins was
to get for keeping his "boarders"
at 66 cents per day at Its regular
meeting last week. Tho sheriff is
generally full to -beyond capacity.
(Marshall, Alo., News-Democrat)
The struln on tho top pants button.
, , O, 1)1 1 vol ?
(KaiiMAH City Time)
Lent evening while I was
' downtown shopping ho cuniu
to my car and asked me to
take him for a little drive, as
ho could not get away from
business very often (ho Is ono
Of the leading business men of
our town). Wo drove around
for awhile, then ho sturted
petting. I told him what I
thought of It, stepiH'd on the
gas and drove him back to
his place of business.
Where did I err?
ALL ALONE.
Orrgon has 11 people for every
inquare mile, and from tho way the
lefrislHture Is threatening, tho new
laws will be about the same.
"What would you do if you
knew a neighbor, who had a bar
rel of "Old Crow" burled on hts
premises," usks a Fort Jones read
er of tho Montague Messenger.
Try and catch the neighbor away
from home, ln the dark of the
moon.
Reveral roldsl n tho brisket, nrc
being used ns nn excuse to grt
drunk, bv nil degrees of social
activity.
The driver of a 4d without any
headlights, and curtains up, is
endeavoring to determine how he
happened to hit mid-stream
Yule tree.
"PORTLAND DKSTINKD TO
BE FLKKCK CKNTKR" ( Klam
ath Fulls News.) Recognition at
last, fof the burg that, in propor
tion to Us slr.e, felt hardest for the
Ku Klux Klan, becomes enamored
of every fool political notion that
showt Jta heart, and Is a paradtne
fur bunco-srtists, "Wildcat" Dun
cans, and tall-tnd ball teams.
THB CTKHKVr VtHil K
The loudest and longest talk on
hard times we have listened to in
our office this Week was by a man
whoflashed a twenty on us to pay
a ll.BO bill. We took tt:e mon
strosity out to get It chatiRcd and
had to go all tho way to the bank
to get It done. After we shelled
out three fives, three ones and a
fiO-cent piece In change, he asked:
"Do you think U s goin' to last
much longer?"
(El Dorado, Kan., Register.)
Editorial Correspondence
IiOCKFOIU), III., Dec. 20. ;
It's the day after Christmas,;
which is very much like the I
, ... , , -till. i '
day after the ihkM het..re. Only .
one mouther of the family has
' j
any ouer.L'y left anil he lias 1
. . !, . 1
gone into the country to chop i
i wood that's nothiiif; new; he!
, , . , . , 1
, hns always been u physical n -
proaeh to tlie less, energetic j
members of the family, Wu tried
to dissuade liim lor there, are
1000 unemployed hi Uotdtford,
and they should do tlie wood
I'hop hi, but as lout; as lie
gets no money for it, he, an us
ual, had the best of the argu
ment. Later lie will eome home
glowing and full of health, and; whli the mercury 5 below, a bright
, , . , tii (un lu a clear blue skv glorious
eat a hearty ftVal, probably m- c.hrilJtmaH wealher. chriHtmua day ;
sist on attending a
tlanee.'
where he will wear out all th
vounirer it n "d more effete i
swains. "With physieal endow
ment hh with finnncial, somf3
people havu ull tlie luck.
Yes, there are 40ilf) unemploy
ed, many of the factories being
closed down entirely, and tlh-;
ers working on half time. The
j billboards are plastered with
! lithographs appealing for aid
I for the poor, and ui'ging people
i to .spend their money (if they
; have any). Several
friends are on the uncmploy- j
ment committee, and can't get!
' "
away to California ami Florida
I as early as they exjieeted. The
j invariable reply to the old
i wheeze, "How is husiness?" is
"There isn't liny." That rc ly
is ns much a matter of course
as "Fine, can't fill our orders"
was a few years nsto.
On the hI rents, however, no
heifjrars or unemployed are in
sight, nor nrc there any apple
vendors. There are the usual
number of ears and shoppers.
No hanks have failed. The (.''.
end idea seems to hithere will
he 110 marked improvement in
business for another year. How
ever, when everyone says there
is no end to bad times, they are
usually as mistaken as wlieu
they said as they did not so
long ago there was no end to
Talks
parent.
QrAHUKLiNt; fuu-:ms
Hy AI4CK Jl lSON IM.Al.l. ;
Occasionally one sees a pair otj
children who quarrel constantly
nnd are yet apparently devoted Und
Inseparable friends.
.Should such friendships receive
encouragement or nhotild they be
broken?
First It Is well to remember that
what sounds like a serious quarrel
may be actually only an outwanl
vehemence duo to habits of e;r"S-
slon copied from grownups or from
older ehitdron. , ' !
: Quarrels between friends may be
due to feelings of mutual JealouHy
and rivalry which coexist with mu
tual liking and admiration.
It Ik not likely that much harm
will rniiin of such a frlend.shlp.
On th other hand it Is possible
that these same children could fim
other more satisfactory relation
ships if given the opportunity.
Parents shoubl sen that their
children have contact with n suffi
cient mint Ik-r of children to enable
them to choose nn their compan
ions those with whom they feel n
community of , Interest and for
whom they have genuinely pleas
ant anil friendly fo'ellnj;..
Where ciivumslnncvs give chil
dren no alternatives but to play
with each other ur to play alone.
It 1s better that they should pi ty
together no mailer how much tin y
quarrel.
H. however, one child seems ul-1
ways to have the better of the eon-i
MUTT AND JEFF Sophie's Husband Married Her for Her Money
COUNTRY T NW WS'S WS K W' Li .-r T Au'T T fk - rfkji Se ANV VI couLtiiu'T I "1 17". 1
a SWAT eA. ,f x cvei sec 'j ,CN T I L O ; fS ) IIM t,K v I
OF It AP THgy itA. HAWC TO j, .' U - H TTT p 'gf'- " 1 SOPHI'-
k ? -
WW ... ZiL,S.;.
stood times. Tlie imijority, in
wli limttcrs, is always wronu;.
Tlicro nro compensations, how-
over. Strolled into a grocery store '
,, ,n,iuK. Kound eggs selling
fur -:! I'f dozen-fresh farm
eggs, they claimed fresh butter
2!r coins per pound milk lu ccntB
a quart bread 5 cents a loaf
,, loaV(.B, howeveri small
Florida oranK :tft cents tier dozen.
Tlie clerk said these prices were .
ea,.y half what ihey were two
years ago. The clothing .aoresl
nun it'll iirifliiiiiu nuiiH luwuy
good looking ,-tneu's overcoats for
J2H. Hulls KB low as Sin, shoes
marked I.',,
Obvioi.Hly th3 cohI of living here'
l. i ii... '
ima kuiiu tiuivn, jjiii mo liunitjiii,
wnu iiuvb iij mm vskm, lliiln hiiu
buttor at snVh i)rfceH muHt have
another ytyry to tell. !
Wo had forgolton aliout middlo
weal wcalhr, hut It certainly Ik an
imrrTtuin quantity. We arrived
- started Kimilarly but by noon the
Mm nau niKappearea in a ciouiiy :
tky and bhow flurries marled. I-ast
"tent at 10 it wka almost warm,
uiu pavemcniH were an icy giure, a;
drive downtown without chains be-!
lag a terrifying experience tor the t
lady member of the party. To-:
day leaden hKIcb, a dank drizzle,
one doesn't need an overcoat and
the Htreets are fu'l of water and?
slnsh. No wonder doctors are pros-!
peroiiH In this imrt nf the country I
and the thermostat works overtime, j
j xVone is moromitraged by the!
weather than the youngest inem-i
ber of our particular party. She !
received a Hied for Christmas, was ,
given a pair of leggins and started'
out early for a Roman holiday. 1 m-)
agine her temper and language 1
of nurl waeu she ion nil she nceueu an um-
1 u Miinlln f.n1 o lumtt K, rnn nnv.l
one convince her there may be ai
hlizzard , l?efor "iKht- 4J?hen 'a8i-
born and brought up In the Rogue
mver valley and is convinced when '
the snow starts to go it t.OKH and ,
stays gone for a good long time.
As we intimated, tiiere is a baby
member of the reunion. He Is two
and one-half and inherits the nhyst-f
cul dynamo tiiut spends his papa
up ho appallingly. Ills mother In
tends him to be a lawyer, but we'
think he Is going to be a baseball!
pitcher. At any rule ho has a mar-1
volous throwlui; arm. Yesterday I
his one ldoa of receiving a present. I
whether n toy, a book or nil urtlclo '
of wearing apparel was not to Rive
It even a look but to throw It, pref- j
orably in tho face or stomach of
the' donor. Ho broko up nn exclt-,
lug game of Husslan bank by j
throwing the cards in till dlrec-;
tlons. and followed this ill) by
ihrnurlni' n wnnflr.ii linrftn thrnuilh
uirowini, a wm1m.11 " ""h"
tho paper shade or a llluary lamp.
He took his uncle out for a snow-
hall frolic and knocked his hat off
st flvo paces. Oh,, he is such a cute
Utile fellow, such a It K A L HOY
we ijiiggest, howover, that Mr. Com
iHky bo Informed and Invito him to
tho winter training quarters of the
Whlto Sox somewhere In Texas!
R. W. It.
trovarsy the weaker one must be
helped and protected.
It may be wise to withdraw htm
from the .society of tho dominating
child at frequent Intervals while an
effort tw made to teach the other
fair play and sportsmanship.
1
' i r
IJ jm fm
, , -
Voung man." sas Fa I her Hog lo
Purr, "why don't yon May
at homo
And ho n emmfry gentleman: vthy
do yon like to nmm."'
"Ono reason." Puff replies. 'ls
Hint the world I'm bound to;
mh i
The other K I rnn't deprhe the
world of MX'Ing mo."
Ve!f
1 ato U -1 i irn ,
N X - l"x -r-lT.l--.lI.Jrl . ' ' -i X Ay. nia iy. r I r: I I xj; r - iva-y-.v m .
MAIL TRIBUNE . 1
DAILY CROSS-WORDiPUZZLE
Acnoss
I. ( all off
ft. IVtf-ii
, II mid at mat
s an rftruli-lituB
IS. WIlfHIIUl
13. lUr-Jinc.
II. ADKr
11. Kr.luret to ft
mrito ,
IS. Urcrraaetj
l. Lcjibc
XU. Knrmlnr
ninrJiJn
Si. ;ardcu Jieeei
alty
S3. Iicrr
SI Cleaniei wltb
water
St. iiuln sight of
tt. Oldest ni ember
Solution cf Saturday's Puzzle
p.y4GnsiciALEnciA.rf
5s eUa r j Hl UeM e
"RIE LA T E DjOBjAlpfETN
ujaIn E wtJS;0 F aC3
M.EITIE SHcloiW AIRIDIS
e x 1 tPpIa OerH B4E
E nHp a rTeTdJIie a"
A ROT A P. ITS KlRI AIM
SlflA R T EiPjBS A L rS
C3xle RjacjA ntC3
SIO L 0lNn8"AlKI tfAM?
A R AflT HI I NknTE A
YESUslAgETSUETNb
!. Iturdeii
nhionla
(ItltT
Imiiuint'
M plow
IH. AlagulllcDt
40. Ily
41. 8 in i II caadla
43. Ottilia
41. hiirnb trith
friitcraot jel
' tun floirrrs
41. tiursfflrei
4. 1'eraiun puet
,49. lteUsti
XI. Cupid
.4. Kind of rock
il. huntlnlcli
lllllnkT
a. Mullen rock
Americas
Indian
:. Melnl I h rend
3. Inferior race
horse
it. IHiDlnlshed
7 hanrlral
thread
. Chese pleeet
(. Uodileaa of
teat.
70 Kast Indian
vteivhta
71. Huprrloliro
tiding
11.
"f 2 13 U I ; IS U, I7 j. j? f 10 I
. .
sr . . , 3 ; .4 S
- " 73 7
7f "i-o 21 7Jz
4'' '''-J'-
5o"S7 j2 : 33T34 ; r T" 57" i! 37"
IT IT 73 TH lJWsf
V'';
1 1 1 1 1 ;i 1 i 1 ''''(,
Personal Health Service
s By William Brady, M. D.
Sltned letters pertalnrnit to personal health and
"HI he ansvered by Pr. Brady If a stamped self add essed ertrelope U enclosed, tetters should be brief
m , ln in,. o1n 10 the Urie number of inters recelred only a tew can he arenered here. No
t,p) tln b, Mdl ta Qlxtim ca, u iMtnicuom. Address Dr. vuilata Brady la cart of
The Mall Tribune.
WHAT TO DO WITIIOVT TO-IK).
NO. 5. ttCT DOWN'T V VOlll PATIENT DROWN
. Asphyxia Is a queer word,, but.
we need not be afraid of It.. It .is,
derived from Greek words mean--
lng not to throb. ' It means to ud
cessation or
breathing, duo to
deprivation of air
or oxygen. Y
lrof. Ynn dell'
Henderson, one of
tho greatest nu-'
thorJtles, says that,,
In drowning It Ik
asphyxiation that
causes death. He
believes that tho
amount of water that enters the
lungs lu drowning cases is ordinar
ily small and practically lnslgnlfl-
leant, as such water is quickly ab
sorbed by tho lungs anyway and
scarcely Interferes with the re
suscitation of the victim. That
word re-suscitatinn . Is another
queer one which we should not bo
afraid of; It is of I -at In origin and
means to revive.
If we accept Professor Hender
son's dictum. ' and I'm afraid we
must, it puts the Ited t'ross and
me In an awkward position. Here
for years the American Red Cross
and t he soctilhd National Safety
council, and a lot of lesser organi
sations, have been teaching tho
first aider that the first thing one
should do when a victim is rescued
from suhmundon Is to place the
body prone and then clasp your
lands under the belly and lift the
body In Jack-knife position, ln or
der to drain the water from the
breathing passages. This maneu-
Ver the Ited Cross and allied bod
ies taught In the published first
aid manual up to a year ago. Then
the Jack-knife stunt was quickly
dropped, together with the picture
of it, from the first aid manual.
So that lets the lied Cross out.
Sato on first base. Hut look where
It leaves me. Here for yeurs I
hiive Interspersed my aspersions
It. A.rleal IrlsS
rapilal
It. Ublrlpool
K. Hrollea hroadlj
18. Mallrlona
tiurniubc
SI. f'Ultere for
eel.
CI. llHihnrard
Onet l.erman
S9. liners
3D. Poultry pro
dart
II. I II. I
31. .liable druraap ,
31. Mi-nrimr 1
A lull '
31. stitch - '
3:. Ilefor.
39. ..r
42. .Niinh'i reaiel
a. Ton
II. Slorlcl
IH. I'olillc : .
petiker
in, oleums . .
mI. Kiiroiriin
mnnutiiliif
t5. slitsrulln.
perhims
it. K.i;-luiped t
ii. A art Ions
al. Ilrprr.eliliitle.
.H. Scene ul
riimbHl
19. One of an
undent rue.
r.S. Hud lielnii
CI. Hull em.
C6. Ilrlnk slonlr
en. )!.eir
'S. t'uln of tier.
man Kuel
Alrlrn
DOWN
I. Iltirlionlul '
S. I.'nhruled
Hnaej
4. Ori-un
Nut dirty
C. llitxHrtle
7. I'runoun
8. Willie lie
. OMIIrniliil
0. Sullnti-s '
1. I'rt-rlpllnnl
hytlene. not to djseate, diagnosis or treatment
on the Red Cross jack-knife atro
city with impassioned appeals to
the universe to keep the victim's
hand from under the head, in
order to avoid creating a water
trap in the breathing passages. I
even Include pictures In my own
Resuscitation booklet (copy which
anybody may obtain on request,
no clipping, and a stamped envel
ope bearing the applicant's name
and address) " allowing how the
band or arm under the head forms
such a trap, and how tho proper
position, as directed by the discov
erer of the prone pressure method
not only favors drainage of any
fluid from the breathing passages
but provides against any obstruc
tion of breathing by mud or sand.
But along comes Professor Hen
derson, whom I scarcely daro to
challenge yet and assures me
that "it Is true that water will not
run out so easily with the head
supported on an arm. But It is
not necessary for water to run out.
for It has been shown that It Is
quickly absorbed even In consider
able amounts from the lungs,"
That dashes it.
But the fight Is not over. No.
no. Having apprised Professor
Henderson of tho great anguish
his opinion had caused, I asked
him If there Is any sound objection
to the cheek on the ground, as
taught by Schafer himself. In re
ply the professor said that In
mines, where artificial respiration
is applied, there are likely to be
puddles of water on. the ground,
and an unconscious man may be
drowned by being placed face
down In such a puddle.
I think I have the professor
here. As a common sense ques
tion, would any child, halfwit or
normal peison with enough Intelli
gence to apply artificial respira
tion permit tho victim's nose or
mouth to remain under water,
sand or mud ?
Tho campaign to get tho arm
out from under the head goes for
ward with unremitting xeal.
Qi i:sTioxs and axswkrs J
; Keep Yoop Teeth and Your
1. What should one eat in order!
to have solid teeth ami healthy j
gums? 2. I-ast year I -read of'
some great doctors who said If a I
pehson eata certain foods the fill- J
Ings in the teeth would be evicted j
as the teeth would come back to
normal again . . . (E. C.) j
Answer. 1. Send stamped en-
velope bearing your address and j
aak for instructions for Preserra- j
turn of the Teeth. 2. I bet the '
great doctors worked on the Lack- j
a wan and referred to the biscuit 1
served on the line they push-a-
push-a-push fillings out if one
isn't careful. I think you read i
Homething about the observations i
of Julian D. Boyd, M.D., and C. !
Drain, I). U.S., on the arrest of ;
dental caries in children who were!
receiving treatment for and diet;
for diabetes. This physician and
dentist concluded that a diet rich
in mineral salts and vitamins does
favor spontaneous healing of cav
ities in the teeth of children. This
is covered in my Instructions for
the preservation of the teeth.
Varicose Veins
Is the injection treatment for
varicose veins satisfactory when
the condition is a varicocele? it.
11. V.)
Answer. Not to my knowledgp.
The ordinary surgical treatment of
varicocele Ik so simple and satis
factory that thero seems no par
ticular occasion for any other ;
method. As a rule varicocele re-J
quiretf no treatment. I
Colitis Troubles Smoothed ft ut '
I hope- that some day you will '
be rewarded for all the good you
are dolng. I suffered for years i
with colitis and was in despair :
following an operation which '
failed to benefit me. One day I
saw in your column the suggestion ;
that whole flaxseed and bran were -good.
As soon as I commenced j
taking , these foods I began to re-
cover. . I am now in good health
and have never had a recurrence
of this trouble. Many thanks.
(Mrs. K. V.) -
Answer. I'm glad to know you
are better, but I suspect the opera
tion or other treatment had more
to do with your recovery than did
the adoption of flaxseeds or bran.
tho I believe these things are often :
I beneficial for those who hao
chronic mucous, colitis. Likewise
I believe such invalids or cranks
(you pays your money and takes ;
your choice) often do better to in-j
cltule plenty of raw fruits ana
fresh greens nnd raw vegetables ln
the diet than they do on a care
fully refined or "soft' diet, for it
is difficult for them to get the
vitamins they need from refined
food. . r
Sundown
Stories
Tlie Garden
.By MA II Y GRAHAM BONNER
; "I've turned the tlm ahead a
number of years." the Little Black
Clock besan, "and I've turned it to
a summer day.
too."
"That ought to
be fun," said John.
"I'd like that for
a little while." Peg
gy added. "I like
the .cold and the
s n o w , but last
night my feet were
very cold."
Now the Little
Rliick Clock was
using his magic 9
and wns turning
th time ahead.
They found themselves in a beau
tiful, beautiful garden. There were
glorious flowers everywhere.
It was a lovely garden. A little!
toad hopped down a garden path
and Peggy said: j
"That's good for the garden. My
mother is always glad when .ho
sees a toad."
"I should say so." John agreed.,
"You knew they were fine for gar-;
dens, didn't you. Lit lie Black I
Clock? They destroy all i-orls of.
hug which would hurt the flow-1
ers." j
"Yes, ' I knew that." the Little
Black Clock .said. "In fact I think!
I've overheard your mother saying
that about toads."
They saw a lovely little pond In
which were some water lilies ami
some nice old frogs were sitting in
the sunshine, blinking their eyes.
"Little -Black Clock?" John be
gan. "Yes?" the Little Black Clock
responded.
"I thought you said you had
turned the time ahead a number
of years. AVe know the names of
almost all the.se flowers, and there
are frocs and toads and butr ;ill
the creatures that you could see in
"Si - MOR
Lsn I
r Quill Points
Advice to amateur comedians:
The man who tries to be the lift
of the party W usually the death
of It.
- IJuy now to help business In gen
eral. The sooner you start buying
the sooner you'll start selling.
'"Faint heart ne'er won fair lady"
U obsolefe. For the wordu "faint
heart" sub-stitute "faint bankroll."
Life' is puzzling but this much
we know for certain: It's a funny
world full of funny people who do
funny things for funny rea-sons.
If you think that crime really
pays, ple.'ise show us a man who
would willingly change places with
Caponc.
An olfl timer Is one who can
remember when the haul
black stuff was used as a sub
stitute for school Inblcls in
. stcutl of fuel.
The architects are- greatly
puzzled in trying to think up some
thing soft for rflanes to land on.
Nothing Is soft these days.-
Each new popular song Is good
for one thing at least. It helps us
to forget its predecessor.
Americanism: Joining a golf club
to build .himself up; drinking six
highballs after each game to tear
himself down.
Of all sad words, for the golfing
crow, the saddest are these: "Dob
Jones Is through.
' Mussolini's skill in ruling a na
tion seems truly amazing to those
of us who can't even manage a 10
year old son. ' .
; The human brain Is a queer piece
of machinery. The same people
who were eager to buy at the top
are how reluctant to buy ft the
bottom.'
There's one poiiso at ion
about lending your week's
wages to a friend. You can re
member later what you did
with the money.
A lot of us are actually happier
In disaster. When the sun shines
we expect a storm to follow. Whfn
it storms we look forward to future
sunshine.
"Nothing Is really wa-sted," says
a scientist. Highto. If it Isn't fit for
anything else, it'll do for a brirlirc
j prize.
In recent months there have
been frequent lulls in the fighting
over In " China. It i quite likely,
however, that normal conditions
will presently be restored.
Correct this sentence: 'Tin glad
my husband's stenographer is
young. i;ood looking and pleasant."
.said she: "for a mnn always works
better in congenial surroundings."
the beautiful' garden of this sort
in our -time."
The Little 'Black Clock laughed
hard. "You noticed that pretty
quickly," he said. "Yes, you noticed
that everything looked very much
the same as It might have looked
in a garden last sumn.cv. I did turn
the time ahead, but you stt- flowers
continue to grow In iv.uch the same
way a.s do frogs and toiNls and
bugs!'
And the children thought thus
was certainly an amusing adven
ture. Tomorrow "The Old Gentlcmun"
Brisbane's Today
(Continued from Paae One)
lneii, ten times its "full fitrure
with f'loatiiitf ships onnu:i to
curry ' tliem, it wtmM be no
nearer real preparedness than
it is now.
In another war old fashioned
fihtiui; ships will he as use
less a.s so many of tiilhert and
Sullivan's lminbn.it women.
Tanks on land, submarines nut
of sight below tho water, and air
ships, striking from the clouds, will
decide future wars. The French
know It and have five fighting
ships to our one.
4
In 'ar our surface ships, care-
By BUD FISHER
Tiwuiini'
i "f."
k I i r .'
Do Yon Remember?
TEX YKAUS AGO TODAY
(Krom files of tho Mail Tribune.)
lSKTIIllM-J- 21), HtiO
Ralph Hardwcll, Mose Uarkdull,
Krank Doremus and Court Jlall
leave to see tho California-Ohio
game at Pasadena,
Kxtcnt of bilking received by
i lapse grows. Former Medford" resi
dent, is invoivea. -rmine-uy irtija
John L. Ktheridge.
Judge K. K. Kelly, at hc oil
fnrum of the C. of C arouses en
thusiasm for the discovery of oil
In these parti. "The best sign." said
Judge Kelly," that oil conditions
here will amount to something, is
that hlghbrowed experts have con
demned it. Tills happened in th
Burkburnelt district in Texas. The
next day oil was struck and a man
by the name of Fowler gave tiou,
000 to the Baptist church." Kmll
Mnhr told his famous story of the
Knglishman in Alanka. A new song
composed for the occasion and en
titled "There's Oil in the Soil of
the Valley." was sung by all Elks
to hold open house New Year's day.
TWENTY VEAltS A(iO TODAY
(Krom files of the .Mail Tribune.)
Deis'mbcr 21), lIO
Ed Andrews. 1n article in Mall
Tribune, declares "brains needed in
singing, and then comes tho voice,
which is also important."
John Wilkinson, of the Medford
National bank, won the Flanders
automobile given away for tho
benefit of the Crater I-ake road
fund. He held ticket 691, which
cost him $1, which was the only
ticket he had.
Fiend steals three turkeys from
L. E. Hoover's henhouse.
Jackson street residents petition
council to change name of thor
oughfare to Jackson boulevard.
Council refuses, causing great
wrath.
I niversity club to open quarters
in Mall Tribune building.
Jack rabbits become a nuisance
In the Applegate.-
First aerial derby held in Los
Angeles.
fully camouflaged, would be hidden
away in harbors. If the 4800 men,
now to be recruited, were taught
to fly and assigned to 2400 airships,
they would be ten times as useful
as our whole floating uavy. '
What happened in our last war?
Did our cunning friends across tlie
ocean ask us to build battleships
or recruit seamen? No; they ask
ed us to build submarines and es
pecially airships. They knew what
! was needed, even then. And, be
ing unprepared, we spent a billion
dollars on flying machines that
would ot fly.
Our men In Europe had to bor
row foreign airplanes. Ask Gen
eral Mitchell, ln charge of our fly
ing forces In the-big war. ,: , , ,
Senator Norris, urged to leavi
the Republicans and start a third
party, says: "No, thanks," noi
wishing to climb up on the shell
beside the World Court. ' He will
stny in the Republican party, which
he owns in his state of Nebraska,
and fight the power gentlemen in-
i side the party.
Mr. Norris saya: ' "Governor
Roosevelt ot New Vork is the hest
bet for the Democrats in 193-."
That depends on former Governor
Alfred E. Smith. Some Democrat
may be nominates), ln spite of
Smith's opposition. But no candi
date opposed to him will be elect
ed. One cheerful prosperity item
comes from California. Paul Shoup,
president of the Southern Pacific,
railtoad, will, on January 5, change
7000 men from part time to full
time.
More cheerful than sporadic good
news is the fact that stocks ot
goods are very low, raw materials
cheap, money obtainablo at tho
lowest interest rates in many
years, cheaper than anywhere in
the world.
This combination should mean
an upward movement though slow.
The French say: Pour les grands
maux, il faut les grands remedes.
"(ireat lcvlls require great reme
dies.'' Philadelphia discovers that tho
great remedy for gang crime is the
electric chair. District Attorney
Monnghan, a hard fighter, says
racketeeers give Philadelphia a
wide berth because "ring leaders of
n gang who onco took tribute from
business men under threat of prop
erty destruction and the assassin's
bullet, are behind prison bars, havo
died in the electric chair, or aro
soon to be executed by tho state."
This will seem cruel language l
the racketeers, but semilynch law,
under legal forms, may grow out
of the crime wave. The difficulty
in big cities, that havo no prose
cutor of the John Monaghan type, is
tha close co-operation between tho
criminals and the public authori
ties. In New 4'ork, for instance, it Is
shown that the gangster, dragged
into court, sometimes sees on the
bench his best friend, one for
whose appointment he helped to
pay, that makes the electric chair
comfortably romote.
Foreign countries say to I'nclo
Sam: "Von "must cut down or can
cel our debts. If you want njospcr
Ity to return. Vour taking all our
gold for war debts nnd building a
tariff wall that prevents trading
with you, is the real trouble."
I'nclo Sam. on his side, is told
by the treasury. "Thanks to hard
times, your revenue for six months
of 19.10 will be ll'Oo.OOO.OOg below
the same period in 1929. And gov
ernment expenses for the six
months will. run I100.0ii0.ooo above
l'.i.T'. How can you talk about for
giving debt? You will need every
dollar."
The question Is. shall American
business and Industry be taxed
more heavily, lo permit forgive
ness of American debts?