PAGE FOUR
JIedfoedMail Tribune)
AN INDEPENDENT NEWHPAPER
PDBLIKUKI) BVKKT AFTKIiNoON
BXCKPT lUNlMI, IIV TH H
MEbKORD PRINTING CO.
Th Medford Sunday Morning tun Is
furnlahexS subscribers lrlns n
Mf ully newspaper.
' OttlM Blall Trlbun Building, 1I-S7-1I
norm rir reL rnou
A consolidation at tho Democratic
Tuua, ui Meotord Mall, the Med ford
frlbuiu, the Southern Oregon lan. Toe
aVsnlavnd Tribune,
' ROBEHT W. RUHU Editor
ft. 0UMPTER SMITH. U&ner.
T HAIL In Advance:
pally wltn Sunday Sun, year 17.10
pally mn Sunday un, moo is. .10
Pally, without Sunday Sun, year- t.50
Dally, without Sunday Sun, month .AS
f?ekl Mall Tribune, one year J.OU
fundi..? Sun, one year 1.00
BY CARRIER In Med ford, Aahland.
Jacksonville. Central Point. PboeoU.
..' Talent and on Highways,
pally, with Sunday Sun, month... .76
bavilv. without Sundav Sun. month .9b
Pally, without Sunday Sun. year- 7.60
UUir, wun ounuuv ouu, vn ycr o.u
Al term a by carrier, cash In advance.
Entered aa sewn, cmn matter ax
Bedford. Oregon, uuder act of Mar oh I,
1171. , .
UfMBISfiJl OP TP" a. ffROCTl ATHJD
! PRESS,
'fhs Aaaociated Preaa 1a exclusively
illUad to the uae (or republication of
tTl aawg dispatches credited to it 01 not
otherwise credited In thla paver, and
elao to the local newa published herein.
All rlghte of republication of special
tsTMfeh"' herein sr alao reaerved
Ye Smudge Pot
'V . ' By Arthui Marry
The Lodl. Calif., infant, who haul
crleoV atendy for 22 duys, oukM to
make a good governor' of Oregon,
yh&n ha grows up.
- D'ArruBt of the D'Autrcmunts Ih out
Of Ktyle.
i:Th? lint of congressmen and sena
tors jvfro' patronized Washington. D.
C;, ' bootleggers has evaporated, moat
conveniently and timely. As a result
ther constituents will not bo uulo to
back-track on their habits, and ascor-
tain f their conduct coincided with ;
theJr last campaign speech on Prohl-
bujon Enforcement.
Among the achievements of 1923,
that deserve a place near tho top, is
the,, decrease in forging of songs at
4ltn) feeds.
vv ; . rx)Gio von. you
(OrcKon t:lly ICiitfrprisv)
sjtrTha: W. c. T. U. nioinbora fool
V thit since tho womon becumo
..Jnldxlcatcd In a uuiltlliiK with
tfiep. sthuy -Injured themsxlvss
inori In that irmnnur tliiin.wtuwi
, ; t)lkbn to tho illrty city Jail by
, , OWjiOn C-'lty office-is.
f-fe'lv'-'A TAOV TAI.KH
Shu's about an useful "round liure
as, robot yoll, und a fly swiitter.
Nolftijiir u'pstulrs. I wild, you can
have -fried hum, but first you've net to
promlsa' you won't toll mo tho mid
story of. tho bos- you Bold for six
mimoU era, when you Riiluto tho caHh
register, with 4!i seeds. I (jut troubles
of my own, that aro healthy and full
Krown. No farmor has hai tho hide'
Yours Truly, There's that whiffet
from Frisco! To hear her toll It, Joy
has been put In Jail slnca she left. I
hain't , road anything- about a drive
to brtiiK her back IioIiib started In the
clfy of souk and laiiKhter. Hurry
pulled a hot ono on her. They were
scrunched up In the baolt seat with
six other nlKhtrldors, on a secret mls
s'oh anrt'for 30 mlles'sho kept mentioning-that
her paws were cold, old
stuff,1 You 'net ono kucbs. What did
the .sinnrtoHt boy at Kutteno do? Well,
the, little man says. "Hero, wear my
gloyes awhile." Just for that he
otfeht'to bo made to wear his hat like
a, human being, when off the school-
grpumUi. : But you can't throw cold
w,ter un her type. , Hho Just fixed her
back hair, complained about tho moon
being so tirlght, und said, "Vou'ro so
nice to me." I lickad up throo fingers
of his stuff, and I'm not sure yet
nbliut my future. It's risky dope. I
don't wunt to associate with a coal
shovel yet. I feel a moral wavo
weening over nio. That reminds mo
of tnmcthlng. As soon as the dining
room gels filled up the dls.-iwasher
wilt have to sweep out before ho puts
on a, clean apron. During ono of
rfhein dust storms you Just guess und
feel. I'd like to run this shebang.
There'd be no desert scenes during
the'rush for-the nosebags. I'm learn
ing to play the mandolin, tlnkle-tlnk.
tlmt-a-llng! Yuu never saw me inn
over the piano, did you? Missed
something, (let this pslr. She'll be
knocking dandruff off his shoulder In
no, time. There sho goes. Don't toll
ni I don't know my groceries. Funny
world, J'll say,, but never tell anybody
I told you. He'll wish he was out of
that picture. Avaunt. whutfvor that
means. I gotta cut tho butter.
. The ; Quality meat market has a
young jjig dressed In Christmas Style
in red and green rosettes, with an ear
of corn In its mouth. - It Is In the
window of their meat market ready
fur sale. (Kugene (juui'd). Soiuft of
Tom tiwem's work.
I SO DISTItKSSlNO
' (Montour, N. y.. Press) '
; Helen Mcanlon, ono of our new
j Cost Department employes, had a
1 fortunate escape from serious in-
-Jury last week, when she alighted
; from the trolley car backward
; and fell on her own responsibility.
i ,; ' . . ' (Sub. by 1'X'K)
' Wone'of the senatorial candidates
from this stats, who nre running on a
religious bigotry plutform. have con
fessed yet that they singled odt by
Providence, to save the white race
s,nd Christianity. ' '
WHY THEY MASK
. We ore the lenders of civilization,
the pioneers of tho hunmn race. Our
society and Intercourse Is the highest
blessing man can confer. To be
within tho circle of our Influence is
not' dependence hut a privilege. Not
all the wealth of the Kust can repay
.the riches we bestow. For thru
effort and suffering, and on many a
stricken field, we have found out the
secret of jtumiui power, which Is the
secret of happiness. (From "The
Klery Cross.")
I
LEONARD
T
HE STORY of Second Lieutenant Wnud'.s sudden rise to fortune
will not be complete until tin; inevitable semiel is written. For
to all sueli stories there is a sequel, and nine times out of ten it is
rather sud reading.
Those mysterious laws of chance which govern gambling, have
never been determined, but that there are such laws, ynd that they
have a surprising habit of ultimately demanding their pound of flesh,
every old-time gambler will admit.
Of course, young Wood may
because of the unusual publicity
resist the inevitable "second call"
will only be the exception to prove
Kasy come, easy go invariably
whether it is gambling in stocks or
chance with the ponies.
Of course, there is u gambling
reason to believe that when most successful business careers are
analyzed, it will be found that hard work, keen judgment, creative
effort and conscientious service,
permanent profits and the mere
counted for comparatively little.
The unfortunate feature of the
standpoint is that unless the young
sensational in the future, the sequel will never be known. 'He may
enter the diplomatic service, for example, and be of no more value to
ilis country, than a plugged nickel,
some beauty, or has his neck broken in a polo match, or does some
thing equally theatrical, the public
was directly due to the fact that he
too easily and may not realize it then.
In this gambling game the successes are always headlined, the
J'.iilures which outnumber the successes aliont ten thousand to one,
are seldom known.
As a result the flame of chance keeps burning brightly, and the
moths keep flying to their death. It is really very unfortunate.
Some philanthropist could do a great service for posterity, if he would
follow ciireers like .vomitf Mr. Wood, to the end, and publish his re
,, rni , ... ... , .
Slllts- J lic niorul wc believe, would ho very plain.
- ., . , ......r -
QUILL
Whatever tho world may be coming to, it isn't its senses.
Specialist: One who has learned
Losing cheerfully is simply the
your vanity. '
Kve did not resort to make-up.
first, time she saw him,
Your friends are those
you manage to get 'by.
who know
Consciences are much more efficient instruments when grand ;ju-
ries are functioning smoothly,
You can get a correspondence course in almost everything; except
the art of trimming boobs by mail.
This is a hard world; and by the time yon win a reputation for
iberality, you have a reputation as a sucker.
The candidate need not know how to split rails; hut if he would
find an issue, lie must know how to split hairs.
If a man doesn't read the papers
an opinion, lie isn't fit for anything
If t,he child is in the right, and you aro in the wrong, there's noth
ing to do but have rcnourse to dignity and spank him.
Correct this sentence: "Hello, Dear," cried the husband; "I'm
always so glad to have you drop into the office this way."
Another unfair thing about prohibition is that it punishes men
for selling whiskey when they haven't sold anything that remotely
resembles it.
There are two kinds of people who knock their home town; those
who can't keep their meanness hidden, and those who can't make
inonev.
RipplingRhumes
THE DERELICT.
I
T IS A DRAH and grim retreat to which tho hopheads stray;
and Kvelyn, once fair and sweet, went there the other day;
once, like a queen upon a throne, she ruled the giddy gang; and
now, a drug besotted erone, she goes to this shebang. Onee,
where the bright, lights used to glow she fooled with gilded vice,
ami all she knew or eared to know was joy at any price. And
foolish damsels envied her as on her way she sped, and longed to
flaunt their silk and fur and paint the landscape red. And where
roof gardens were alight, I rose, rebuking sin, and rooting
strongly for the right and roasting Kvelyn. For no rebuke of
mine she eared, though Vouched in words sublime, and all the
decalogue she dared, to have a red hot time. She had her red hot
time for years, she said to care, "Aroint!" and now in misery and
tears, she seeks the hophead joint. Onee she was beautiful and
fair, ami had a wondrous. charm, and for her smile benign and
rare a man would trade a farm. But pleasure was the only thing
for which by day she schemed, and pleasure was the sceptred king
of whom by night she dreamed. And pleasure brought her to the
door of yonder drab retreat, where hopheads sit upon the floor
and breathe the name, of l'ete.
MEPFORD MATE TRIBUNE,
WOOD'S BOY.
be one man in a million or he may.
uncorded his speculations, be able to
of the Siren Chance, but if so he
the rule.
applies to gambling success,
gambling with cards, or taking a
element in ull business, but there is
have accounted for most of the
business of taking chances has lie
Wood elcan up, from a moral
second lieutenant does something
and yet unless he runs off with
will never realize that his failure
had too much money and made it
POINTS
to multiply the bill by six.
art of lying magnificently to soothe
You see, the man was hers the
yon intimately and wonder how
I
and hasn't sense enough to form
except a juryman.
MEDFORD, (TREGOX, TVEDXESDXY, DECEMBER
Personal Health Service
By WILLIAM BRADY, M. D.
Notmd Physician and Author
8lgned letter pertaining to po'iona! health and hygiene, not to disease-diagnosis
or treatment, will be answered by Dr. Brady If a atamped,
self addressed envelope la encloeed. Letters should be brief and written In
Ink. Owing to the large number of letter received, only a few can be an
swered here. No reply can be made to querlea not conforming to Instruc
tions. Address Or. William Brady, In care of thla newspaper.
A Good Pruc
A high school teacher whd Indulges
in freiguent coughs and, as she calls
them, "colds," delivered to the pupils
who are exposed to iler a 10 minute
talk on excuses for absence. She
made It quite clear
that pupils who re
mained out of school
with a "mere cold"
were cens u r a b 1 e.
Why. she boasted,
she hud ' one right
then which made It
difficult for her to
Bpeak, yet she man-
aged to be in school. Much fatigue, Irritability, and prob
This teacher Is a ably business inefficiency is caused by
great believer In
"homo work," by
the way. Any teach
er feels competent to teach practical
hygiene.
hero are Home excellent excuses
for absence from school. One of tho
best monitor proof excuses for ab
sence for a day or two is coryza.
Every schoolboy knows what coryza
Is. or If he doesn't know he will prob-
ably look it up now
What makes coryza such a good
excuse is not that it keeps the teacher
guessing but tho fact that a pupil
with coryza has no right to be in
school even tho he is able to drag
himself there. Nobody can be reason
ably sure that the coryza' will not
prove to be a serious disease und
h proud among o titer persons in the
school run in. Indeed, In the better
conducted schools nowadays a pupil
showing Indications of coryza is
promptly excluded as a plain matter
of safety for the other pupils. A
teacher who would go to school un
masked when she has an alleged
cold" is a dangerous person.
So my message to school boys and
school girls Is this: Stomachache Is
longer necessary as an excuse to
remaih out of school. Just begin
sneezing und running at the nose a
little and wearing a mask of 10 layers
of gauze. The coryza which warrants
remaining out of school a day or two
equires you to isolate yourself from
folks everywhere else unleHH you go
masked. If you wear a suitable mask
it is quite safe for you to remain In
school when you havo coryza. If the
teacher wore a mask It would bo safe
enough for her to come to school with
her alleged "cold." ,
QrKHTIONS AM) ANSWKHS
Caluro .
I have to flit whore a glaring light
"J U ST TO WN 'TALK"
ii Copied Right Bj Mike
Rochester, Minnesota
Deur "Town Tulk" , . .
We aro newly weds. Somehow we
do not got nlons as well aa we ex
pected. My huuban'd lteups nnourtlily
hours and I find myself growing aus
picious of his conduct. He reads your
column und thinks ut times your ad
vine Is good. Will' you make an er
fort to help tno? I know ho'll read
your answer. ' ! "EMIbY."
m m
MY DEAR Emily: ' .
.
NOT MANY things
IN THIS world of ours
EXCEPT OUR. expenses
MEASURE UP to y.
'
OR EXCEED
OUR EXPECTATIONS
'
AND A husbnnd
IS VERY seldom i ,
, .
AN HXCEPTION
TO THE rule
AND IT Isn't policy
TO I1ARHOR suspicion
IT IS better
TO CALL for a "show down"
...
AND ARRIVE at the point
IN! MARTIAL existence
KNOWN AS "an understanding"
1
AND HK1NO suspicious
HAS ITS disadvantages
.
ONK IS inclined
TO IMAGING things
WICKKDER THAN thoy are
AND I can remember
SOME YEARS back
WE MOVED over
INTO A new neighborhood
Ileal Kxcuse
shines on my desk all day long, and I
have been told that the small lines at
the corners of my eyes are caused
from the strain. Is there anything 1
can uss to prevent them from being
so noticeable and not harm the skin?
(B. J. E.)
Answer. Havo the light placod in
relation to your desk or your deBk in
relation to the lamp so that the source
of light is not within your field of
vision aa you sit at work have the
light in a plane above and behind
your eyes. Put an opul or frosted or
yellowish or grayish or brownish
tinted globe or shade over the lamp
needless glare. People often fail
comprehend that glure is rather
blinding and annoying; a softened or
diffused light (frosted or other trans
lucent but nut transparent globe)
nieuns easier vision and a more at
tractive businessafmosphere.
Infection itl Gull Bladder
Kindly tell me what 'causes infec
tion of the gall bladder and gall stones
(Mrs. B. M. A.)
Answer. Chiefly , certain pathoge
nic germs which reach the lining of
the gull sac thru the circulation. The
'typhoid bacillus is one of the com
inonest causes, the gall bladder in
flammation following typhoid fever.
Living typhoid germs have been found
In the center of gull stones more than
thirty years after tho fever. Most
typhoid "carriers" grow the bacilli In
their gall sacs. The colon bacillus Is
responsible fur some cases; the colon
bacillus is a normal Inhabitant of the
Intestine, ordinarily nonpathogenic
(not producin disease) but capable
of assuming pathogenic virulence
under-certain abnormal conditions. In
a few ases the pncumococcus is re
sponsible, many persons with recur
ring or chronic tonsilltis, sinusitis and
other lesions of the respiratory tract
harboring a fairly virulent culture of
pneumococcus. which is capable of
setting up various focal Infections,
such us cholecystitis (gall sac Inflam
mation). A nidus or clump of germs
In tho gall sac, with a bit of mucus or
epithelium, favors the deposit of sub
stiinces from the bile to form giU
stones. Occasional or moderate indul
gence In wlno or beer is a contribut
ing cause of gall bladder inflamma
tion and gall stones. So is ordinary
overeating eating more, than enough
to maintain what should be your nor
I mal weight. So is the habit of lazl-
I ness getting by without a reasonable
ainount of dally exercise
AND THE folks next door
STAYED DY themselves
AND NEVER called '
AND ACTED queer
,
AND THEN ono night
WE SAW a light
OUT IN their gulden
UNDER A tree
AND SAW them dlggins
WHAT SEEMED to us
A SHALLOW grave
ANO COVER It again
. . .
AND THE next nlsht
WM'LE THEY were gone
V E W ENT over
AND DUG it up
AND FOUND a bundle
OF KITCHEN garbngo
AND WE'VE never been
SUSPICIOUS SINCE
I THANK you.
Get Two Trial Boxes
PAZO OINTMENT is a Guaran
teed Remedy for all forms of
Piles.
Pay your druggist $1.20 for two
boxes of PAZO OINTMENT.
When you have used, the two
boxes, if you are not satisfied
with the results obtained, we will
send $1.20 to your druggist and
request him to band it to you. .
We prefer to handle this through
the druggist because his cus
tomers are usually his friends
and will be honest with him.
PARIS MBDtCINB COMPANY,
St. LouU. too.
WATCH YOUR
BATTERY
PREST-OLITE BATTERY
STATION
"Friendly Service" Phone 903
I
26, 1923
TDE GREATKST THING IN THE
WORLD
by Laurel Grav
Petting Parties Are Perilous "
Well, I clliiib the steps of the
pulpit today with wrath in my mouth.
Today we will fill our popgun with le
nden pel leu and aim at the foolish
hearts and empty
hands of silly
flappers and
baby whelks, who
are re.spons 1 b 1 e
for tho vogue of
tho petting par-
ties. My children,
petting parties
are perilous pas
times. I am quite
willing to admit
that tho modern
iHtic note is ex
cusable In court-
ships In these
days where fifty hours are crowded
into twenty-four. 1 I concede that
many of the old-fashioned Ideas of
courtship are too creaky for the mod
ern machinery of the world, but tho
easy fumiliurtty to which most girls
In this town have become converts, is
more tiresome than It is wicked. Of
course the girls are wholly to blame.
No boy ever kissed a gh'l ugainst her
will that is, an- honest-to-goodness.
The girl who Imagines that she 'must
attain the reputation of being an easy
kisser in order to sustain her popu
larity with young monsieurs is ter
ribly mistaken. And nothing is quite
so sad Tn bur speeding' society as the
young girl who is mistaken on this
particular point. Kvery boy in the
world is brought up at home to re
spect the sex of which his mother anil
sister are representatives. These kiss
ing parties, hugging matinees tin-Re
aro all cheap and foolish ways of
wasting perfectly good time. 1'ettlng
parties are perilous pastimes. Swear
off, .Indies.
The Secret
of Tasty
Cooking
Meals prepared by
some one else, fre
quently taste better
than your own. You
can be sure people
will say how good
things tasted at your
house, when you use
KITCHEN BOUQUET.
It is the secret of tasty
cooking. Start the
meal with a real tasty
soup. -. ,. -'
Add a tablespoonful of
KITCHEN BOUQUET
just before taking off
the stovo
Your grocer sells lots of
MTCJ&N BOUQUET
Wong Pori
Chinese
. Medicine
For Treatment
or Acute and
Chronic Ils
vnnvti of Men
and Women.
Career .and tumor treated, ln
fluensx, kidney, bladder and stom
nch tioubles, (Its, hernia, rupture,
colds, female troubles, paralysis,
fever, pneumonia, asthma and
throat troubles, ' rheumatism,
amenorrhoeu. . . i
Office Hours: 8 a. m. to 8 p. m,
Consultation Free
2-11 South Wont Kt.. Meuffird, ore.
Medfurd Iron Works
tr HiMWIalty
Medfcrd Quartz Mill
Mining and N.wmtll Matdilnery.
General foundry and Machlai
Work.
11M M. Oau-al IIV
61
HdblManx
fQ Powell St. at O'Farrell,
Gose fo Thoares
dncf Shopping District
Anwly baoiif led Hmttt Man
watt the viattor to Sain Fian
citcol New hnntth'ttci of txnusual
charm and comfort, a lobby drnt nrd
to provide th atmotphert of a
tuxuooiM hotna and a new O.nmi
Room, coniidmd one of lh motf
ineerotni in Amnca all contribute
to yow welfare! h u the onlv hot!
with running e Water in every roomJ
Li. '
Yi L-
HARVEY
M. TOY,
Managing
Owner
Most after dinner speakers jcvst :
drink titer cofree, but it's differ
ent with all day speakers. One
cnmiMtigit when Ilryitn uuz
touritt' India any in an Interurbaii
ear ho Mtnt a messenger fcr his
lunch ut Marion, ordcrln' one link .
o' bologny, a half pound o si tar p.,
rlieese, half imiiiihI oV'crackers, ,
an a' hottlo o' Kp, strawberry :
preferred. Titer seems t be no,.
end o kings o bottleggers but nol)iiri .
princes. . ,
ANNOUNCEMENTS
SIIEK1FF
I hereby announce myself a candi-
rlnii-. ?. the nomination of Sheriff of
Jackson County on' the Republican
ticket subject to the voters of said
i oi.niy at tho primaries in May. t
nominated and elected I pledge my
self and the deputies whom I shall
appoint to enforce all laws Including
the 18th Amendment with efficiency
and ei onomy. If you do not want the
iaws enforced do not votft for me. j
. A. LYONS, Central Point.
tf
To Whom It
May Concern
1 want to inCovm. my
friends' and patrons that X
hiu ppe.Ni'ed (lie services of
BERT ROHU in my- repair
s'hop. ' , ." ' ., , I.
MR. ROHU is a first class
ElehVian and Mechanic,
and was employed at the
Battery Electric Shop for
the past year as head electri
cian, and I have known him
for over 12 3-ears. We guar
antee all our work. ; '.-"
Wo Sell Sunoco Oil
' J. C. ROBINSON, j '
1009 West Main : .
For Wet Wash 1
Dry Wash Rough Dry
Phone 873 ; '
Wet Wash, pound
Dry Wash, pound
Rough Dry, pound.. .
.5o
American Laundry
Licenses
for balance
of 1923
put on
FREE OF
CHARGE
on any. . -
NEW CAR
sold prior to!
January 1, 1924
The Busy Corner
Motor Co: