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MEDFORD MATH TRTBUNE, ftrEDFORD, OREfiOX. TUP-SPAY, DECEMBER' 18, 1923
Medford Mail Tribune
AN INllUlPllNnRNT NH3WRPAPHJR
PUBLISHED EVERT AFTERNOON
EXCEPT BUNDAT, BY THJi
' MEDFORD PRINTINO CO.
The Medford Sunday Morning gun la
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Nortn f ir atroeu rnona
A oonaolldatlon at the Democratic
Tlmea, the Hertford Mall, the Medford
Tribune, the Southern OregonlAn. The
Ainwna 'irinune.
RODHHT W. IIUHU Editor.
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Ye. Smudge Pot
By Arthur Perry.
'One "of thono' days a alU-kor will
como along nncl dlHpono of whoeluur
row seed at ior iiuurt.
The community Is Bcttlnu so calm
and peaceful iinil nclKhliorly, that It
Is doubtful If evon a rod hot revival
mooting would leave us on a 100 per
cent huto basla.
YE ED. KAYS SOMETHING
(Solon, Iowa, Economy)
The woman' who dooan't - llko
this paper liocnUHO It is no pood
and novcr gots anything risht,
should tuck up her undorskiit.
It1 liuncti down and looks sloppy.
Tho editor of Tho Economy may
not know how to run a newspaper
right, but ho knows how to put
his clothes on so Ilia undurweur
won't show. " '' ' "' 1 -,'"
ConKiCBH. which has been behaving
llko a loKislaturo awaiting orders from
a Urand Dragon, will brace -up after
tho holidays,' and investigate the Ku
Klux Kim. Evon tho "Emporor"
from the "Imperial Palace" In Atlanta
ain't stop tho probe of organized
tomfoolery in Its shlrttall, -which is
liable' to hustlo any number of tongue
tied soodHondoi'H hack to privato life,
whore they bolong. AIho, tho investi
gation is liable to disclose- how tlio
Republican party In Oregon became
eaturntod with bigotry and bull, and
played with Pierce for pie and
didn't got It.' Thero la nothing to do
but. unfurl tho nightgown, grab a
hymn book, nnd look as sanctimoni
ous as posslblo. ' : ' '
"Every community has Us horrible
example of a cigarutto siuokor." says
tho head of tho Antl-Clguretto League
at SO much per nntl. "Thoy nro In
variably -weak-chinnod and aimless."
The coffin-nail brlgada could como
right buck, with tho deelnvatlon that
ovory community hot) Its horriblo ox
nmplo of a tobacco chowor, invari
ably clenn-chlnnod nnd straight
shooting. They also might point the
finger of kcoiii uttho attar of roses
pipes, and their brook-like gurglos.
DON'T MENTION IT
Allmny Democrat)--In
acknowledgement of tho
klndncHS Hhown to us In our dis
tress when tho roof of our homo
was tulton off by tho high wind
, wo wish to thank ull who partici
pated. Tho district attorney of Marlon
county was almost pestorcd out of
office last wouk.
This Is a spi lng-llko day, duo to tho
plumbers praying for a Imrtl winter.
Oarofulty swathing n customers
face in hot towels, Hill liatos wont out
in tho street for 15 minutes, and
talked over tho duck situation in
Klamath county, with another bar
bershop huotur of great skill.
A survey of tho singing for tho
year, shows It to havo boon brittlo in
lone, but with great vigor of stylu.
; DAN (TI'II) Kfj.UM'KI)
; (Kcllovlllo, 111., Democrat)
. Miss Alleo Mulr announced her
engagement In tho paper last
week, but she can't nover marry
my son us long as I' huvo tho
right over htm: he is only 19
years, und besides she ain't wel
come In our family und never can
step In my house. Mrs. Dora
Dcukor.
Tho Christmas supply of boose Is
reported to be worse than usual, nnd
apt to remove tho drinker from tho
list of tuxpuyors, forthwith.
TIIAN.VrOPSIS
Afraid to die? To sleep an endless
. ' ' sloop
To shako tho shackles of this mortal
coll
And novnrmoro to pay tho rent, or
! weep,
Or think, or toll?
Fear denth? When life Is Just a
i ..' rotten mess
Of vicious circles, triangles, and
; squares
Hot crooked in a world of wickedness
And millionaires?
Then shall I dlo and play a harp
-! ' above 1
Tho din of children, womon, mon, and
'" such?
Well not todny. . . . And why? . . .
nocnuao I love
This life loo muchl-
" . , New Yoru world.
THEOLOGICAL FIDDLING
THE rRESEN'T situation in American churches' is certainly dc
" jiloraWo. There never was a time in the country's history when
the application of genuine Christianity was more needed, when true
spiritual unity was more in demand.
But instead of Christian principles of charity and tolerance and
human brotherhood, being, uppermost in the minds of our religious
leaders, we have one church fighting over the Apostles Creed, an
other quarrelling over the conflicting doctrines of the fundamentalist
and modcrnjst schools, and the
great divisions of the Christian church again being revived.
, And the most hopeless feature of the situation is that agreement
on tho basis of theological. theory can never he readied. For tho truth
or falsity of certain theological assumptions can never be determined.
The differences are not questions of
of faith which reach Ijaek to conflicting types of the human mind.
There are some mental types, for example, 'that demand a literal
interpretation of the Bible, without such an interpretation, their
spiritual foundations disappear; there are other mental typos that
demand a figurative, symbolical interpretation or they are lost in a
sea of what appears to them, irrational mysticism.
To say that one type is entirely
is not only untrne but a waste of time. For after all the various di
visions of the Christian faith are not an end" but n means to an end.
Whatever theory is most helpful to the individual, whatever form
makes that individual a better citizen, and helps him to lead a better
life, that form for him is true and right. Let him have it. The im
portant thing is not the route, but the destination, not theories, but
results.
At the present moment, however, this self-evident fact is com
pletely lost in the struggle of this
this interpretation over, some oilier interpretation. What wo need
spiritually, is to drop this contentious nonsense entirely, and gei to
gether on the important business of making this world a better place
in which to live. To do this every Christian faith, honestly and sin
cerely believed not only must be given a right to free expression, but
is needed in the tremendous work
QUILL
Foreign policy : Waiting to see
In this glorious land of opportunity, any humble dog may grow
up to be the president's. ! ''
About all you can say for a fine vocabulary is that it makes your
friends blink occasionally as you talk. !
Original Americano were noted for their high cheek bones; the
moderns for their high soup bones.
;.- . J
Opportunity knocks but once. It would make a poor showing as
a progressive candidate for tho presidency. '
Now let's havo a secret order pledging its members to correct their
own faults before nagging at the neighbors. " ' ' ' ' "' :
If you think it a good idea to rob Peter in order to pay Paul, you
can qualify as a member of some bloc or otlicr.
That chap who says there are no good listeners in this era should
watch a group of his fellows while money talks.
Tho winner of Mr. Bok's peace prize can turn it into a first-class
fortune by investing in some good munitions plant.
People are funny, and tho girls who wouldn't do their nails in
public for anything don't mind doing their faces in public.
Correct this sentence: "Another advantage," declared tho sales
man, "is that she will start without hesitation in the coldest
weather."
I
You can't rob a man of pride. If ho has nothing else to boast
about, ho will boast that he wears tho same weight of underwear
all year. '
Tlic thing that works tho greatest hardship on the candidate is
tlio fact that the discontent is in the west and the campaign fund in
the east.
RIpplingRliumos
AT REST.
ALONG the churchyard paths I walked, as fell t lie eventide,
and drearily the sexton talked of people' who had died.
"Here they repose in peace," quoth ho, "beneath the quiet stars;
and most of those whose graves you sec were killed by motor cars.
As stubborn as Missouri mules, or Africa's crocodiles, they laugh
ed to scorn the laws and rules, and hit up sixty miles. And some
of them would hog the road, a course that's sure to grieve; and
then they came to this abode, whose tenants never leave. And
some of them neglected brakes they knew were insecure, ami
scorched serenely by the lakes and o'er the gloomy moor; and pres
ently they hit a tree because they could not stop; and hero they're
sleeping, woe is me, with marble shafts on top. And some would
talk while yet they drove, with those who rode behind; nnd by
the mere and through the grove wo saw them go it blind; though
in the bylaws duly versed, they gave such laws no thought; and
then they wero embalmed and hrarseil, nnd hero by doonismeu
brought." "Gramerey," said I, "ancient man, my feet aro grow
ing cold, for always, in 'my pink sedan, I've daring been nnd
bold. But since your grisly talo I've henrd I'll drivo with cease
less enre; I Reo that recklessness absurd won't get me anywhere.
WHILE THE WORLD BURNS.
age - old struggle between the two
demonstrable fact, but questions
right and the other entirely wrong,
theory over some other theory, of
of world regeneration.
POINTS
what France is going to do.
Personal Health Service
' r By) WILLIAM BRAPY, M. ' y '
Notd Phykiclan and Author '
Something
You know what they aro If 'you'vo
over had 'em.
Tho tired business man at tlio ball
Ban 10 trying vainly to got Homo exer
cise vicariously, tho athlete who hao
Kone stale from overtraining ' or 'too
twst training, the man who suffers
from'urain fag," h;us tho wIIIIch.
Olio with the willies derives little
If any benefit from
a vacation, sleeps
hut fitfully or with
too, much dreaming
or too much snor
liiK, wakes often,
und does not feel
refreshed by- his
Bleep, cjin't knucklo
down to his "work,"
of concentrato on
anything, looks hag
pard, feels depress
ed and Is peevish.
I'd like to bet that
tho protocol tnuH far will describe
many a reader's case better than ho
could describe It himself. After all,
you see, most of us have a touch of
the willies now and then, because wo
don't live' right. In any case I beg
to give fair warning that I havo no
further particulars to send to - any
ono who swaps theso symptoms for
his own. I am going to say all I
have to Bay about tho willies, includ
ing etiology, pathology and therapy,
right here.
Tho causation or etiology of tho
'lilies is simple;- underoxygonation.
Tho pathology we have ulready suf
ficiently discussed.'
Tho medicine Is, liko most treat
ments, "three fold": pills, salvo und
tonic, or something on that order.
Shucks, It scarcely seems necessary
to mention tho first and most essen
tial romedy, more oxygen. Ono way
to get it would be by strapping an
oxygen tank on your back and using
an inhaler, but this Is cumbersome,
expensive and reully not nearly so
efficient as tho other way. The other
way is the pills. Teople hato to take
pills which are good for them. Tho
othor way to get oxygen is by exer
ciso. Say two miles on the hoof three
times a day, as an average doso. Or
any other equivalent general exercise.
Dangerous days, thoso whon wo don't
got our exercise.
Tho second part of tho treatment,
tho tonic, Is nothing elso' than our
old friend hxlin- Just a weo speck
of lodin ovcry day for perhaps three
months out of tho year. Ono drop of
ordinary brown tincture may bo taken
in not less than a glassful of water
once a day in each third or fourth
month, to brighten up ' tho spark
plugs ahd' Improve'1 ignition. v lodin
Hoy Manx j:
Powell St. at O'Farrell,
SAN FRANCISCO
C?ose ro Theatres
end Shopping District
Anowly beautified Hottl Man
aw its (He vititor to San Fran
ciscot New furnishings of unusual
charm and comfort. lobby deitgnrd
to provide ihe atmosphere of
luxurious home 'and new Dining
Room, considered one of the most
interesting in Americaall contribute
to your welfare! It is the only hotel
with running Ice Water in every roomj
CM
V LU"Nr HARVEY
. RATES HKMH M. TOY,
-
, i it 1.
My. Headquarters
for tho Wllllca
does that for us. If wo get a suffic
ient lodin ratio il Most of us do not
got a sufficient rodin ration any more.
Jodln increases tho activity of. the
thyroid gland which produces a chem
ical substance which Iifpreaess oxida
tion in tho sy s torn. ' 1 ' r, . .r
Wo still have the salvo to dispose
of. Tho third part of tho treatment
of tho willies is really tho nub of
tho ventilation problem from your
personal point of view. Install a suf
ficient number of accurate mercury
thermometers in: your 'living- rooms
arid .work roomsr'make It your- favor-1
ito indoor sport to watch the mer
cury; do something whenever it rises
abuvo 68 degrees; open tho windows
or put out the fire oirf discharge1 tho
janitor, but get busy and do some
thing or you'll 'never' get' ovei; the
willies. . '.' . ' : : -J.
(In order to forestall what might
be doomed just cause and provocation
for a letter about the willies, permit
mo to explain that iodln' Is just the
modern labor saving way of spelling
what folks generally know as iodine.)
QVTKSTIONS AND ANSWERS
Company Tjcft Bohlntl
If a family having lice-moves out, Is
thero danger of ono catching them by
leasing the house? , (Mrs. A. O.)
Answer. No.
Hot Flashes
I am bothered with hot flashes. Can
you suggest relief for them? Is it
nervousness or worry? (Mrs. R. C.)
Answer. Send a stamped self
I 'addressed envelope for suggestions.
, "Nervousness," whatever that may be,
'and worry havo nothing, to do with
hot flashes.
Why Fumigate?
Is there any way to fumigate cloth
ing worn by a person who had tuber
culosis to make the clothing safe for
children? (Mrs. C. F. T.) - .
Answer. Laundering is sufficient
disinfection to make clothing safe. If
it can't be washed, steam sterilization
will suffice. Ifit can't be placed in-a
steam sterilizer, hang it in the open
air, whero it will be freely exposed to
tho sun for 10 hours. r ' '
Home Treatment for Appendicitis
Is thero any kind of home treat
ment that will benefit appendicitis?
Aro hot applications good? ' How
about the olive oil treatment? (Mrs.
O. T. L.) ' ' i.
Answer. Your hot applications
nnd olive oil may be all right If you
are Just making believe you've got ap
pendicitis. The notion that oil of any
kIifd -(bo -it under-its own name .or
under the name of some nostrum) can
have any value in appendicitis la dan
gerous. - .
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Merry
You will find tags, seals, tnnk-Iiis, cards for Mother, Dad, and tho whole family, curds for
ypur friends humorous, witty and. conventional, curds froiii 5 cents' to '1.00, in fact, any
thing your heart desires in a Christmas Greeting Card,
Hurry up-and call while our assortment is. complete; we. want you to be pleased. For those
who haven't time to make a selection from our tallies we have boxed assortments from
23c to $2.00.
Swem's Gift Shop
Tnrc crtEATEST thing is the
" , - woiai)
by Laurol Gra
Don't Try to Drive a Hiircsiln.
,1 suppose that the moat futile thlnB
In tho woi-Ul is to try to mnko a bnr
galnvWUH'Wv ' tho token of ex
'. A-!f fc.'.-i. . chnnKO. ' It in all
very well to map
' out?" your romance
In advance ' but
. you cannot fore
see tho stranfto
llttlo ccccntrlcl
tios of temper
nnd temperament
of sudden 1m-
pulses, i of 1 swift
. emotional change
t' and of, influences
qulto beyond the
control of four
' Jack -nnd your
Jill. It is notorious that half tho ro
mances which go to smash and half
the marriages . which land unhappy
mon and women in divorco , courts
havo their origin in the most aston
ishingly small and inconsequential tri
vialities. There is no architecture In
love. You may plan a Spanish cnstle
and find yourself occupying a humble-
cottago before you know It. 1 Or
you may fancy you would he happy
in a three-room bungalow and after
a while you awaken to a .craving for
a red brick mansion with, five recep
tion rooms and' solid silver plumbing.
You can plan an automobile tour from
Kastport, Maine to ltedlands, Califor
nia and know In advance whero every
mile of concrete road lies, and where
every filling station may be found
Ton may even plan an. aeroplane
fligbt to Siberia or to the for reaches
of Cathay nnd bo reasonably certain
that you will got there safe nnd sound
liut there Is no routing an excursion
with love. The girl who seeks to make
a deflnlto bargain lieforo she becomes
the central figure in that thriller in
real life, ".Married at IIigh Noon,"1
usually is overtaken by the fate of all
bargain hunters. She Is disappointed,
when the bargain Is fulfilled. ' The
'man who seeks to make a match to
his- material benefit, .usually .awakens
after the honeymoon and wonders
how in tho 'world ho over deceived
himself so- thoroughly, . Marriage is
an adventure. It is full of danger,
surprlso and tho most amazing dis
closures. I suppose that is why it is
so popular.
(Copyright John F. Dlllo Co.)
Soviet Government Ifo)eful
MOSCOW,' Dec. IS. Tho Moscow
government Is hopeful of a reply from
Fresident Coolidge to- Foreign Minis
ter Tchltchorin's not? asking resump
tion of friendly ' relations between
Itussia nnd America. ' ' '
urn
nristmas aros
We have the Christmas Cards that you are
looking for. Come in and get them. We do
not stand on formalityour doors are wide
open; walk in and make yourself at home.
Only five more shopping days before
Christmas . ,t
SINCLAIR'S
are prepared for the last minute rush with
extra salespeople and a large and well assorted
stock of '' ' '' "
I
WATCHES
JEWELRY
and In our gift rooms are
CONSOLE SETS CANDLESTICKS
VASES FLOWER BOWLS '
INCENSE BURNERS PANEL MIRRORS
HAND PLATED PLATES TESETS
ETC., ETC.
SINCLAIR
Jewelry Shop
. GIFTS, THAT LAST
i-i r. In M.M. Store mm
iT Ta"T wmm Pifnwu ruk RBTflli aw IHV4.MI
' ".' ' : "''' 'V ' ' 1
It's all right t' 'split tip an' fight
ono another' durln a polltifaW
. camiNtlgn hut after a Democrat )i"T
a ltiipublican becomes wl'rcsV
Idcnt bt our country wo ought t
bo big enough ' and pnteroti e
enough t' applaud Ids picture on
the. screen. Cheer up, wheat
farmers, human lire hain't worth
notlilu' either. '
'announcements
SHKIUFF
I hereby announce myself n candi
date for the nomination of Sheriff t
Jackson County on tho Republican
ticket subject to tho voters of said
county at tho primaries in May. If
nominated and elected I pledge my
self nnd the deputies whom I shall
appoint to enforce all laws Invlivlint
the 18th Amendment with efficiency
and economy. If you do not want tlio
laws enforced do not vote for inc.
' D. A. LYONS. Central Point.
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HAVE YOUR XM AS
PHOTOGRAPHS
made now
at tho
Medford P. P. Studio
in our new arid .larger quarters
High grade work at populni
prices. Over Medford Harness Co.
228 E. MAIN
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SILVERWARE
CLOCKS
uv.P'ff: