" ' -
CIaaalfle2,
Hie society reporter was away on
his vacation and the horse reporter
had been delegated to write up a wed
ding.
"But," protested the editor, glancing
over the report, "you failed to men
tlon the bridegroom's nnme."
"It wasn't necessary," explained the
equlno authority. "He finished among
those who 'also ran'."
J)ny to Jle Remembered.
"I dread to think of my thirtieth
birthday," began Miss r'assay.
"Yes," replied Miss Pert, "something
dreadful must have happened to you
then or you wouldn't remember It this
long." Philadelphia Ledger.
Cable Tolls to Japan.
It costs $1.76 a word to send a mes
sage to Japan, and, with war raging in
the Far East, the cable tolls for war
news are something tremendous. But
as the people will have the war news
in connection with their morning dish
of Fillsbury's Vitos, the cables are
kept busy day and night.
Crab Shell Barometer.
The Inhabitants of southern Chill are
Bald to foretell the weather by means
of a strange barometer. It consists of
the cast-oft shell of a crab. The dead
shell Is white In fair, dry weatber, but,
Indicating the approach of a moist at
mosphere by the appearance of small
red spots, as the moisture in the air
Increases It becomes entirely red and
remains so throughout the rainy sea
son. To Get Acauainted.
The Boarder Is this Harriet Simp
kins really us pretty as people say she
is?
Farmer Stubble You'd think so If
you knew how many of the city fellers
alius manage to have their ottos break
down right smack in front of the
Slmpklns' house an' go in an' borrow
monkey wrenches an' things. Detroit
Tribune.
Nearly every Chinese can read, but
about 00 per cent of the women are en'
tirely uneducated.
Why not marry whn you can. Roln our society
and meet Hint correspond with reputable persons
In the NorthwpHt who wish to marry. We have
hnnilreds of members of both sexes, many wealthy.
Write tor December Matrimonial Kegluler; price 10
cemn. nox ww, roiuanu, urcgon.
MALLEABLE IRON STUMP PULLERS
Fantntf 1 1 nh test and ntron(fst Stump Pullnr
on th iiiHrkot. 119 Horn power on .lie sweep
with two homes. Write for dnitcriptlve caiiilt)
ftud prices. .
KEIKRSON MACHINERY CO.
Foot of Morrison Street Portland, Oregon
A New Organ
Delivered to any Rail
road Station or Boat
Landing in Oregon
$46
Hare Is a picture of one of the most perfectly
AniBhed organs now manufactured. It Is the
Pacific Queen, made especially for Eilers Piano
House. Choice of fancy walnut or selected
oak cases. Hue, very large beveled plate mir
ror, perfectly finished ; an ornament to any
mansion.
Numerous new and valuable improvements
are embodied In this organ, making it at once
one of the best and most durable organs man
ufactured in the United states.
Built with special regard to Pacific Coast
eilmate.
Besides the regular reed tone, this instru
ment also has several octaves of the regular
pipe effects, to be found in no other make.
Special Introductory offer.
To Introduce this Organ we are making most
exceptional concessions in our prices and
terms and will deliver a perfect and fully guar
anteed Organ freight paid, to any railroad sta
tion or boat landing in the state of Oregon for
146, on payment of $8 down and 4 a month.
The fancier styles $62. f6. etc., on same terms.
Write us today, as this offer is limited only to
the first 100 instruments.
PORTLAND, OREGON
V
Largest, Leading and Moat Responsible West
ern Dealers.
v
Washington street, corner Park, Portland,
Oregon.
fiprague ave. and Post at., Spokane, Wajh.
614 Market street, Ban Francisoo, Gal,
p. it a
N. 49-1905
VISUM writter
TV maMa kl
to dTSTtlMH PlM
tkU papar.
SPIDERS ARE MALIGNED.
Their Itltea Are Buld to Bo Far Lea
Duniceroua thuu la Supposed.
When in doubt, charge it to a spider.
That alight creature, Bays the Brook
lyn Eagle, has been held responsible
for deaths and illnesses wherewith it
hud nothing more to do than the
United States has to do with brigand
age in Morocco. Yet the familiar
newspaper announcement, "Killed by
a spider," is before us again, and we
read how the suffering Mrs. Wilson, of
Knoxvllle, died ia twenty-four hours
as a result of a spider bite, her body
being swollen to twice Its normal size
before she regained consciousness.
If we. are to believe the entomolog
ical authorities in Washington, who
are paid by the government to know,
we have only one kind of spider that
1b really poisonous enough to hurt,
and that is a little fellow marked with
red and black, and not all black, as
the Knoxvllle alarmists declare. Until
last year the total number of deaths
actually traceable to spider bites ,in
this country was one. Possibly it may
now be enlarged by two.
Wo cling to our superstitions and
that of the dendliness of spider
venom is one of them. A spider has
en6ugh of this acrid chemical to kill a
fly when thp web is not strong enough
to hold it. but the human subject has
on various occasions sometimes with
out knowing It been subject to her
surgery without other result than an
irritation considerably less than is in
flicted by a mosquito. When death
results from so slight a cause it does
not signify that the spider is danger
ous. It means that the subject was
in so perilous a condition' of health
that a pin scratch would have served
as well to end life as the spider's
trifling wound has done.
Not many years ago the tarantula
was regarded as sure and sudden
death. The southwestern miner who
turned In without his boots and found
that half a dozen of these giant
spiders had got into bed before him
made his will on becoming cognizant
of this fact. Now he merely brushes
them , off, uses a little language and
goes to sleep again. Even the rattle
snake has his apologists.
And it Is well to know these facts,
not merely because we permit some
useful animals to live who are doing
their share to rid us of insect pests,
but because we can amble about the
world with freer mind than our fath
ers could who suspected death in
every moving form to which they
were not accustomed. The spider has
killed, we will say, two out of the
many millions of human creatures that
have inhabited this country, and has
destroyed countless hosts of flies and
mosqultos, bearers of germs which,
but for her interference, might have
poisoned '100,000 of us. Observe the
spider, then, with equanimity. She
will not harm enough to hurt.
MAKING A DREAM USEFUL.
All the Waking Honrs Should Be
Spent In Profitable Poranlta.
A. E. Gibson presents an exhaustive
analysis of the physical and psychical
basis of dreams. He sums up his
views in part as follows: To sum up
tho argument, dream and waking dif
fer in degree and form of manifesta
tion only, not in principle and essence.
Like waking consciousness, dream re
veals, but does not create. The same
world that surrounds the waking in
dividual surrounds the dreaming, only
the viewpoints and media of observa
tion are changed.
As the life experience of an individ
ual in his waking consciousness re
ceives Its character and value by and
through his power of response to en
vironment, so In a similar way the
value of a dream depends upon the
power of the ego to respond to con
sciousness in Its various forms of emo
tions, ideas and feelings which consti
tute the environments of the subject
ive or dream plane. Waking or dream
ing the individual is, or becomes, what
he chooses to be at any given moment
of his existence.
The background for ordinary dreams
consists of undigested remnants of
waking life. Hence ordinary dreams
are merely undigested life, being made
up by longings, desires, anticipations,
idle hopes and miscarried realizations,
which, occupying the mind during the
day, are overtaken by sleep before hav
ing reached their fruition. Hence the
mixture, in most dreams, of the sane
and the insane, of truth and delusion.
On the other hand, the life lived out
and tsslmilated in a purposeful exist
ence becomes absorbed in the forma
tion of character and leaves no residue
to form the bizarre staging for the
confused dream. And to such an in
dividual the Intuitions of dream life,
with their . dazzling imagery, will In
troduce symbols which, properly Inter
preted, may carry the significance of
prevision or prophecy. Therefore, to
turn dreams Into useful, intelligent
and Intelligible factors we must fill
our waking ' life with deeds anl
thoughts of universal usefulness and
freight the train of events with an un
flinching devotion to duty and virtue.
k'edlcal Record.
. It Is never too late to unmend In
the divorce court.
A Natural Remedy. T
ML.l At- 1 I- -w.nM.--. I
mat me renieuy i buiubiuucs worse
than the disease is again shown by an
incident chronicled in the New York
Times. A prominent politician has a
wife who is a model of lomestlc care
fulness. She has a talent for making
bread, and takes great pride in having
her loaves turn out well.
One evening she had set the batch of
dough, to rise in tho kitchen and was
reading in the parlor, when her C-year-old
b'oy came funning to her, crying,
"Mamma, mamma, there's a mouse
Jumped into your bread-pan!"
The fcood woman sprang from her
seat.
"Did you take him out?" she asked,
frantically.
"No'm, but I done Just as good. I
threw the cat in, and she's digging
after him -to beat the band!"
Christian Science,
In the United States there are about
400 Christian Science churches, with
about 100,000 adherents. According to
Mrs. Eddy, its founder, the church is
making tremendous strides in popular
ity, in which respect it resembles Pills
bury's Vitos, the popular cereal food.
Should Be Dished.
"There are three beautiful words in
the English language," said a peraegrl
natlng philosopher as he sipped his
morning glass, "that ought to be cross
ed out of the dictionary.
"The first one Is 'honesty.' No one
is absolutely and perfectly honest. If
you give orders to say you are not
at home, when you are In and don't
want to be disturbed, that Isn't quite
honest.
"The second word is 'satisfaction.'
No one is perfectly 'satisfied.' Suppos
ing you had, by a long stretch of im
agination, $10,000 a year, you would
want twenty.
"And the third word Is that beauti
ful monosyyable 'if.' On that I need
not comment."
Tainted Tin.
"Can I get in?" asked the new ar
rival. "H-m-m, that depends," replied St
Peter, doubtfully.
"I never drank, smoked, chewed or
swore. I gave everybody a square
deal, I "
"Cut all that out," was the terse re
ply, "and tell me what was your busi
ness?" "I was an expert accountant."
"Sure, you can get in! You're what
we have been watching for. You see,
we are expecting Rockefeller now at
almost any time and all of our account
ants are working overtime.' We want
to be able to hand him an itemized
statement when he applies for admis
sion." "A statement of what he did with
his money?"
"No; a statement of how he got it."
HoustonPost. '
Fooling; Hobby,
"Let me show you the new novel for
married ladies," confided the clerk in
the book store.
"Novel!" echoed the prospective cus
tomer. "Why, that is a cookbook."
"No, it is a dashing, breezy novel
with a cookbook cover. You. see,
when your husband walks in and finds
you reading what's apparently a cook
book he will feel so tickled he Is liable
to hand over the price of a new fall
hat."
JaTfback Wlna.
Mr. Jawback I'm going to get a life
Insurance policy.
Mrs. Jawback You're foolish. It's
all a graft. ,
Mr. Jawback But what would you
do if I'd die?
Mrs. Jawback Marry again, of
course.
Mr. Jawback You couldn't If my
life hadn't been insured for a good,
big sum. Cleveland Leader.
STIFF AND SORE
from head to foot? Can't work
today, but tomorrow you can,
as the Old-Monk-Cure
St. Jacobs Oil
will soften and heal the
muscles while you sleep.
It Conquers Pain
Priest, 25c. and 50c.
PUTNAM FADELESS DYES
Calor more foods brighter and faster colors than any other dye. One 10c package colors silk, wool and cotton equally well and h
imranteed to give perfect results. Ask dealer, or we will aend post fiaid at 1k a package. Write far frae booklet how to dye,
bach and mix color. MONROE DRUG CO., Unionvllla, Missouri.
More
Every Year
UOUHCESM
priced
ECC
'tW vf HICAOO. ,(1
costs
powder
quality, and makes
healthful baking.
Send postal for "
JAQCJES
It Was No Ue.
Dick Come on and go down the
street with me, Jack.
Jack All right, old man wait till I
finish this letter to my dad.
Dick Oh, if you're writing to him,
don't come. I'm broke, too. Cleveland
Leader.
Submarine Cables.
There are 876 submarine ableB in
the world, the length of which amount
to 178,919 miles. Most of these be
long to private parties, only 25,000
miles being owned by the various gov
ernments. All, however, bring daily
orders from every land on the globe,
for Pillbsury s Vitos, the all-day food.
Beartrara in London.
It is calculated that 4,000 persons
make a living in London by begging
and that their average iocome amounts
to over $1,500,000 a year. Last year
1,925 persons were arrested for beg
ging in the streets, of whom more than
1,500 were sentenced to terms of im
prisonment varying from one week to
three months. Many of these objects
of charity were found In possession of
sums of money and even bank books
showing very handsome deposits.
Beware of Ointments lor Catarrh that
, Contain Mercury
as mercury will surely destroy the sense of
smell ana completely derange tne whole sys
tem when entering it through the mucous
surfaces. Such articles si.ould never be used
excepton prescriptions from reputable phy
sicians, as the damago they will do is ten fold
to the good you can possibly derive from them.
Hall's Catarrh Cure, manufactured by F. J.
Cheney & Co., Toledo, O., containsnomercury,
and is taken internally, acting directly upon
the blood and mucous surfaces of the system.
In buying Hall's Catarrh Cure be sure you get
the genuine. It is taken internally, and made
in Toledo, Ohio, by F. J. Cheney & Co. Testi
monials free.
Bold by Druggists, price 75c. per bottle.
Hall's Family Fills are the best.
Lucky Ghoat.
And it came to pass that the Ham
let troupe was stranded at a water
tank twenty miles from the nearest
farm house. A roving tramp crept out
of the shadows and, approaching the
leading man, said in awe:
"Mister, are you really Hamlet?"
"Yes," replied the barnstormer, "but
I wish I was the ghost."
"Why so?"
"Ghosts don't get hungry." Colum
bus Dispatch.
riTQ Permanently Cured. Kofltsor nervousness
II 10 after Hrstdny'suseofDr.Kllne'sOreatNerve
Restorer. Send forFree2 trial bottleand treatise.
Dr. It. H. Kline, Ltd., 931 Arch St., Philadelphia, Pa.
Lincoln's Hay Crop.
The stories that Kansas newspapers
are now printing of the big corn crop
recalls Lincoln's story of the big hay
crop in southern Illinois. "What," in
quired a visitor, "do you do with such
a big crop of hay?" "We stack all we
can on the ground," replied tho vet
eran story teller, "and the rest we put
in the barn." Detroit News.
Mothers will find Mrs. Winslow's Soothing
Syrup the best remedy to use for their children
during the teething period.
Wanta a Holiday. '
Mamma So you want to give your
dear teacher a present? I
Tommy Yes, ma; I'd, like to give'
her some of that cheap candy like I
had the other day. i
"Why, Tommy, that was what made
you so ill."
"Yes, ma; I know it was." Chicago
Journal. 1
We dn o -own and brldgework without pain.
Our IS years' experience In plate work en
ables us to lit your mouth comfortably. Dr.
W. A. W Ise has found a sale way to extract
teeth absolutely without pain. Dr. T. P.
Wise Is an expert at gold rilling and crown
and brldgework. Extracting lrae wbau
plates or bridges are ordered.
WISE BROS.
DENTISTS
Falling Bldg., Third and Washington Sta.
Open evenings till 9 o'clock. Sundays from
9 to 12. Or Main Itm.
tew
DR. W. A. wise
Converts
Every day in every year
that comes, more housewives
are giving up their exhorbitant
Baking Powders and
turning to K C, the honest and
reliable, which has stood so well
the test of years. They are find
ing out that
BAKING
POWDER
one - third the price of
anywhere near K C
better, purer, more
25 ounces for 25c.
Book of Presents."
MFG.. CO.
Chicago, HI.
Park and Washington, Portland, Oregon
"The School of Quality"
A. P. Armstrong, IX,. B., Principal
Thousands of graduates in positions:
hundreds placed each year; more calls
for help than we can meet it pays to at
tend our school; largest, most modern.
best equipped. Departments: Business,
Shorthand, Typewriting, Penmanship,
English. Open all the year. Catalogue,
penwork free. Call, telephone or write.
Around the World
l have used your Fish
Brand Slickers for years
in the Hawaiian Islands
nd found them the only
article that suited. I am
now In this country
(Africa) and think a great
deal of your coats."
(hami ok application)
HIGHEST AWARD WORM FAIR, 1904.
The world-wide renuta-
tion of Tower's Water- tVBVT't
proof Oiled Clothing 'W"'y
assures the buyer of JgSWiri
the positive worth of fWirg
all garments bearing; fltn mitft 1
this Sign of the Fish. HffSS
A. J. TOWER, CO., Boston, U. S. A.
TOWER CANADIAN CO., LIMITED,
35) ' Toronto, Canada.
WEBSTER'S
INTERNATIONAL
dictionary!
THE DEST
CHRISTMAS
GIFT
uoerai, ItPllaMe. At
tractive. T.(iaMnf ITnrt Tlnf a
will go often be a reminder of the giver.
2380 pages, 6009 illustrations. Eecently
enlarged with 23.000 new words, a new
Gazetteer, and new Biographical Diction
ary, edited by V. T. Harria, Ph.D., LL.D..
U. S. Commissioner of Education. Grand
Prize.World'g Fair, St. Louis. Get the Seat.
Webster', Collog-iato Dictionary. Largeitofoiirabrldg
menta. llegularandThinPaiiereditioiu. lllGDajreauul
UIWui.trationa,
ffrltsfor" Dictionary Wrinkles" Free.
S. & C. MEERIAM CO., Sprlngfleld, Maaa.
Dr. G. Gee Wo
WONDERFUL HOME
TREATMENT
This wonderful Chi
nese Doctor Is called
great because he cures
people without opera
tion that are given up
to die. He cures with
thoBe wonderful Chi
ntBe herbs, roots, buds,
barks and vegetables
that are entirely un
known to medical sci
ence 111 this oonu.ry. 'I'h .o.itrn ihn n i,r iiu,a
harmless remedies this famous doctor knows
the acilou of ovar 60O different remedies which
he successfully uses In clllTenn. diseases. He
tiUumncee-Hocureca'arrh. asthma, luwr.ihr at,
rheumatism, nervousness, atomuch, liver; kid
niys, etc.j has hundreds of testimonials.
Chimes moderate. Call and see him. 1'auents
outof the city write for blunkr and c roulars.
Bend stamp. CONSULTATION i'uBK.
Address THE C. GEE WO CHINESE MEDICINE CO
162 First St., S. E. Cor. Morrison
Mention paper. PORTLAND, OREGON.
111
DR. T. P. WISC.