4-
Office Worn By
This is a parable. He who runs
may read; or, to use the modern ver
sion, he who travels per Mercedes will
see the world.
There was once a too-old-at-forty
merchant. He had toiled toiled unto
grayness.
But fortune had not come.
He pared the point of a quill pen (he
remembered his father using one in
that very room), and gazed gloomily
at an ancient inkstand filled with a
viscous, tarlike mass. And the spirit
that was in him evaporated and dried
up like his ink, with only the dregs of
gall and iron left behind.
He thought of the days of fret and
worry, the nights of cramping pen
work, when he had set till the small
hours checking Eiffel Towers of fig
ures and writing letters which an
office boy had smudged into gray inde
cipherability with the aid of a copying
book and a brush charged with solid
sloppiness.
He thought of the headaches and
the restless nights in which he lived
again through the petty annoyances of
the day, and as he dispatched a boy
with a message (he had always hated
telephones) he decided to end it all.
So he retired and lived economically
in the suburbs, and another man
reigned in his stead. This is the pro
logue. 5
Six months passed. The too-old-at-forty
merchant again visited his old
office. It was in the same room, but
The new manager was seated at a
roll-top desk. Before him was a pho
nograph with a neat recording mouth
piece. Into this he
was speaking
quickly: "I want
two thousand cop
ies of the follow
ing letter posted to
our regular cus
tomers in time for
the four o'clock
mall this after
noon. Take down:
'Dear Sirs Owing
to our having new
labor saving ma
chinery in all our
factories, we are
able to quote lower
for all our goods,
which you will
note are now ten
per cent cheaper
than those offered
by foreign compet
itors. A glance at
the following fig
ures will ' "
For thirty sec
onds he continued
to talk into the
phonograph. ' Then
he removed the
addbessoqraph. wax cylinder and
handed it to a boy who carried It into
the next room where the patter of
many typewriters sounded like hail
on the roof.
The too-old-at-forty merchant looked
on with smiling toleration.
"I think you made a mistake in that
letter," he said. "I heard you dictate
that you wanted two thousand copies.
I suppose you meant two dozen."
The return smile was of tender com
passion. He was informed that two
thousand was correct.
"But you said they were to be sent
off by the four o'clock mall, and It is
one-thirty now. However big your
staff may be you can hardly have two
thousand letters typed and the envel
opes addressed and stamped In two
and a half hours."
"I shall employ exactly one girl
clerk and a boy on that Job," remarked
the new manager, leaning back lux
urlously in his chnlr, "and if they tried
they could do double the quantity in
the time."
He rose. "Perhaps you would like
to see the miracle?" he said as he
opened the door next to his room.
A girl typist was taking down In
shorthand the words of the letter as
they were dictated from the phono
graph on which she had placed the
wax cylinder. This was completed In
one minute forty-five seconds by the
watch. She then adjusted a sheet of
wax paper on her typewriting machine
and typed the letter.
A few minutes later the waxed pa
per was fitted to a rotary duplicator,
and an office boy was reeling off eighty
.copies per minute.
"Bate of 4,800 an hour," commented
tb new manager.
The too-old-at-forty merchant looked
thoughtful.
Meanwhile the girl clerk was feed
ing envelopes into the addressing ma
chine, which was printing them (each
with a different name and address) at
the rate of 2,000 an hour.
The t-o-a-f merchant seemed to want
to 'aBk questions.
"Quite simple," said the new man
ager. "Every customer on our books
has his name and address set up in
rubber type. The boy does this in his
spare time. The address, set up In a
little metal galley, Is then attached to
one of these endless chains which pass
through the machine. Each time an
envelope Is printed by the machine the
chalu moves round so as to bring an
other address Into position for the next
envelope. Simple, Isn't it?"
"In my time It would have taken a
man about four days to do what that
machine does In one hour," said the
merchant, musingly.
"But this isn't your day; It's ours,"
said the new manager.
"What next?" asked the merchant
of the past.
"Next comes the envelope sealing
machine," said the new manager re-
THE ARITHMOMETER.
morselessly. "Now In your day one
office boy using single tongue power
would probably stick down about forty
envelopes in an hour. This little ma
chine seals nine thousand in that time.
You see, it is quite small. You Just
put the pile of letters in at the top and
turn this handle. Then the letters
(now typed, duplicated, addressed and
sealed by machinery) fall out on the
table. Oh! I wouldn't try to count
them. It might strain your arithme
tic to keep pace with the machine."
The rotary duplicator and the "Ad
dressograph" were still working mer
rily. "Would you like to see the other
things?" asked the new manager.
"Now this machine," he said, mov
ing over to another instrument in a
neat-looking case, "not only prints let
ters in exact imitation of typewriting,
but it also prints a different name and
address on each and adds a perfect
imitation of your signature In black
Ink at the bottom."
"I begin to feel very old," said the
former owner of the business. "I sup
pose your chief cashier is made of
levers and sprockets and your confi
dential clerk is driven by a main
spring?" "Well, I think there are cog wheels
and spacing gears In them, too," said
the new manager. "Now, here Is the
book typewriter, with which w keep
our ledgers, and, In fact, all the books
in our firm. We only use pens here
as pipe cleaners. You lay the book on
the table, so, draw the machine over
It, and make your entries cleanly and
neatly, j
"But bound books are now out of
date. The loose leaf book is the mod
ern idea. Dr. and Cr. sheets are of
different colored papers, and the
leaves can be removed and reinserted
In the binder at a moment's notice."
"Then all you have to do is to cast
up the figures," said the old merchant.
"Pardon me, we do nothing of the
. ' IOUALITY iydf '
Evidently Mr. Cleveland Never Expects to Run for Office Again Chicago
Tribune. ,
kind." With calculating machines thai
will tell you in ten seconds what
9,750,834 multiplied by 450,873
amounts to. and which will extract
the square root of 587,807,001 with a
few turns of a handle, the human
brain becomes too slow for practical
purposes.
"Now, If you will look at this 'Arith
mometer' for a moment, you will see
that all you have to do Is to place the
pointers at the figures which you wish
to multiply, subtract from or add to
gether, then turn this handle, and the
result will appear in that row of
spaces at the top."
An office boy now came up and re
ported that the two thousand letters
had left the office at 3:80.
"It .aeenis to me that brains are
quite obsolete," said the antediluvian
merchant.
"And that is the biggest mistake of
all," returned the twentieth-century
manager, "brains are what we want,
and all we want. We are freed of the
old grinding routine that business men
used to break their hearts over; now
we have time to think. Our clerks
have shorter hours and are better
paid; but those we do employ have
brains, otherwise we should have no
use for them. 1
"No, brains are not at a discount,
but brainless handwork is." Montreal
Star.
FISH RE8TAURANT&
A Feature of London and Pari Life
that la Leae Common Here.
Returning travelers from London,
Paris, and Berlin describe with pleas
ure the "fish restaurants" in those
cities, and express some wonder that
there are not similar restaurants here.
A "fish restaurant" Is not oue at
which fish Is served exclusively, or
even chiefly, but a restaurant at which
a specialty is made of the service of
fish, and at which usually some spe
cial fish dish Is offered to patrons each
day.
In London and Paris such restau
rants make as their chief specialty
sole, as popular in England as In
France. The Paris restaurants, in ad
dition, make a feature of crayfish, cod,
and mussels, and the London restau
rants, of whitebait and shrimp.
The variety of fish procurable in
these two cities Is almost without lim
itation, but a different fish each day re
quires, in fact, only seven varieties, in
the preparation of which there are
many specialties.
Washington has a larger variety of
fish than either London or Paris. The
oysters, lobsters, and crabs In the
market here are superior to those to
be found In large European cities, and
the general demand for fish is in ex
cess of what it is in the big cities of
other countries. But the custom pre
vails for the most part here of making
fish or sea food a part of the meal
furnished at a restaurant, and not a
feature of it. Washington Post.
Geordle'a Kevenge.
A certain butcher in a village in the
north of England was standing before
the shop of Oeordle, the baker, whose
loaves of bread were rather small,
when Qeordle came up the street.
"Just been In your shop, Geordle, buy
in' a loaf," said the butcher. "Where
is it?" asked Geordle. "In my waist
coat pocket," said the butcher. No
more was said, but Geordle thought for
& long time how he could pay the
butcher back In his own coin. A few
days later, as he stood before the
butcher's shop,' an idea came to him.
Meeting the butcher on his way home
from market, Geordle said: "Been In
your shop buyin' a calfs head!"
"Where is it?" asked the butcher. "Un
der my hat!" said Geordle, with an an
nihilating look.
A man's mental balance Isn't syn
onymous with his bank balance.
'Uadar.
HOW TO SLEEjP AND WHEN. "
A. rhyalclan'e Advice on the Subject
UxercUe, Bathing and Bating.
The following brief quotations are
from "Sleep and Its Regulation," by
Dr. J. Madison Taylor, in The Populur
Science Monthly:
During childhood and exhaustive
states too much sleep Is rarely possi
ble. For those In full tide of vigor
too much sleep Is often distinctly hurt
ful.
The action of narcotics presents
none of the characteristics of normal
sleep except, the temporary arrest of
consciousness; hence narcosis is not
true sleep.
The best position to assume in sleep
to Invite the least disturbance of the
functions of the great organs la on
the abdoment, or nearly so.
Many obscure forms of digestive or
circulatory disorders may have been
Initiated In infancy through lying too
long upon the back.
To secure the most perfect repose
the temperature of all parts should be
equalized before retiring. Cold feet
induce delay In securing sleep, and it
is then shallow when attained.
It Is most unwise to overfill the
stomach before retiring; thus disturbs
sieep almost as much as hunger, but
moderate eating before sleeping is not
hurtful, and Is often salutary.
, Body clothing at night should be
loose, not dense, permitting the ready
passage of air, never of wool next to
the skin.
Bed clothing should not be too close
of texture, blankets being preferable
to dense "comfortables" and not
"tucked In" too closely. Air should be
allowed to pass occasionally under the
sides at least as one turns about more
or less freely.
Early rising Is a salutary custom,
especially when the duy comes early,
not otherwise.
More sleep Is required In winter than
In summer. The best sleep is had dur
ing the hours of darkness.
The sleeping room should be cool,
abundant air being always admitted.
This should not be Interoreted to mean
that the room may safely remain In
tensely cold.
In the modern treatment of tuber
culosis fresh air Is recognized to be
Imperatively needed all day and all
night. Artificial heat can, and should,
be supplied along with the fresh air,
till the temperature of the room be
at or near 60 or 65 degrees Fahren
heit, for some even 'to degrees Fahren
heit THE TRAGIC ISLE.
Some of the Abnaea Which Priaonera
on Sakhalin Buffer. .
Sakhalin, the Island which Japan is
taking, or rather, retaking, from Rus
sia, is the place to which Russia sends
her violent convicts. The convict at
Siberia has some liberty to console
him for his detention, but the convict
at Sakhalin none. When a party of
convicts (having been pronounced "vlo
lent" by the governor at the Siberian
station) is landed at Sakhalin the pro
cession to the Jail is as follows: First
among the prisoners come men with
fetters on their legs and linked togeth
er in pairs, the clanking of their chains
making a lugubrious noise. Next come
half a dozen men each without fetters,
but secured by the hands to a long
Iron rod. Then follow female prison
era and after them the most affecting
part of the whole the wives and cbll
dren who have elected to accompany
into exile their husbands and fathers
Benina tnem rum Die "telegas," or
rough wagons, wherein are transport
ed baggage and those children who are
too young or infirm to walk
When on the march the prisoners
are allowed three pounds of bread and
one-half pound of meat each day, and
they are not forbidden to receive
alms. But when they arrive at their
destination their lot Is a pitiful one,
Their cells are damp and fungus cov
ered, their food is less than the allow
ance during the Journey and their
work in the salt mines is most ex
hausting. Many of the prisoners are
very ignorant Few of them can read
excepting the Caucasians, but they are
all put to the same laborious work and
In the event of their being physically
unable to perform their allotted tasks
their punishments are very cruel.
The English "cat-o'-nlne-talls" is
nothing to the terrors of the "bodlga
In this instrument of torture the prls
oner Is so fixed that he can neither
move nor cry out and wire thongs
bound at the end with pointed tin
strike his back at frequent Intervals,
Other tortures to which prisoners are
subjected are too dreadful to write
about and during all these tortures
the prisoner Is prevented by gags from
obtaining the poor relief of a scream
Surely the horrors of the salt mines
of Iletskayav are nothing compared
with the abominations of Sakhalin.
Pall Mall Gazette.
.1
Wise and Wealthy Treasure.
"Well, you married a wealthy worn
an. Ia she the treasure you hoped
forr
"Can't say she Is. She won't give
me any of her money."
"Then, by George! she is a treas
arc She not only has money but
common tenae, . too!" Cleveland
MRS. EMMA FLEISSNER.
Buffered Over Two Years Health Was
In a Precarious Condition Caused
by Pelvio Catarrh.
1EALTH and STRENGTH
RESTORED BY
PE-RU-NA
Mrs. Emma Fleissner, 1412 Sixth
Ave., Seattle, Wash., Worthy Treas
urer Sons of Temperance, writes:
"I suffered ever two years with irreg
ular and painful periods. My health was
in a very precarious condition and I was
anxious to find something to restore my
health and strength.
"I was very glad to try Feruna and,
delighted to find that it was doing me
good. I continued to use it a little
over three months and found my
troubles removed.
"I consider it a splendid medicine and
shall never be without it, taking a dose ,
occasionally when I feel run down and
tired."
Our files contain thousands of testi
monials which Dr. Hartman has re
ceived from grateful, happy women
who have been restored to health by
his remedy, Peruna.
The Young Philosopher.
" 'Nother piece of pie, please, pa."
"But you haven't finished your first
piece."
'No, pa. But you know you tola me
not to eat fast. And If you give me a
second piece now I shan't eat so fast
because I won't be afraid that tne
second piece will be gone when I get
through with the first piece. Please,
ca." Cleveland Plain Dealer. -
Stats or Ohio, Citt or Toledo, I
LUCAS COUNTY,
Fbame J. Cheney makes oath that ha la
senior partner ol the firm of Y. J. Cheney A
co., aoing Dusmess in me city onoieao, coun
ty and State aforesaid, and that said firm will
Day the turn of ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS for
each and every case of Catarrh that cannot be
cured by the uae of Hall's Catarrh Cure.
f KAMI J. (JtltftHI.
Sworn to before me and subscribed in mv
presence, this 6th day of December, A. P., 1886.
A. U, ULiUADUPI,
Notary Public
seal
Hail's Catarrh Cure is taken Internally, and
acts directly on the blood and mucous surfaces
of the system. Send for testimonials, free.
it, j. chji.mii a cu., loieao, u.
Bold by Druggists, 76c.
Hall's Family fills are the best
Strenuous Llfd.
"Say," roared the irate citizen as he
rushed into the office of the village week
ly, "where's the editor?"
"Want to see him personally?" queried
the office boy. -
"You bet I do," answered the i. c. "I'm
going to thrash him within an inch of
his life. See?"
"Oh, all right," answered the boy.
"Just have a seat, please. There are
three others ahead of you."
St. Jacobs Oil
for many, many years has cured
and continues to cure
RHEUMATISM
NEURALGIA
LUMBAGO
BACKACHE
SCIATICA
SPRAINS -BRUISES
.
SORENESS .
STIFFNESS
FROST-BITES
Price. 25c. and 50c
iff
ElemietlUsfW.l:
Cms WHIM All LSI FAIL.
Coos a Syrup. Tula Good. Ci
Bold by drugtlnU.
tMoo. JlllillIP
V