WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 5, 2018
HERMISTONHERALD.COM • A7
OPINION
Welcome to Hermiston in 2018
Dear Hermiston residents
of 2068,
If you are reading
this, it means the city of
Hermiston’s plan to create
a time capsule
to be opened
50 years
from now
has worked
and you have
unpacked a
variety of
Jade
artifacts to
get a glimpse McDowell
EDITORIAL
of life in
Hermiston in
2018.
I have a feeling there
won’t be much actual
paper involved in making
a newspaper in 2068, so
enjoy this relic of the past.
As I write, Hermiston’s
population hovers just
below the 18,000 mark and
is growing quickly thanks
to new jobs in sectors such
as food processing (Lamb
Weston is working on a
$250 million expansion of
its Hermiston French fry
facility) and data centers.
Amazon isn’t fond of us
mentioning the data centers
belong to them, but if you
are still using Amazon.com
for your shopping in 2068
you might find it interesting
to note this area’s role in
the business. You may also
find it interesting to know
that packages from Amazon
and other retailers are
being delivered to homes
by human beings unloading
packages from trucks that
they drive from house to
house. We envision a future
where flying drones deliver
the packages, or at least
self-driving vehicles, but
watching 1960s-era science
fiction about the early
2000s has taught me that
the future is rarely what we
imagine.
Speaking of retail, I
won’t hazard a guess about
what fashion looks like in
2068, but here in the early
2000s we are experiencing
a trend toward a more
casual look, as young tech
entrepreneurs show up
to work in jeans instead
of suits and people wear
flip-flops instead of high
heels to tour the White
House. Just know that your
mother’s ripped jeans in
her high school yearbook
were the height of fashion,
not an embarrassing
wardrobe malfunction.
Also know that if in
2068 women’s pockets are
as large as men’s, feminism
has soared to heights that
we in 2018 can only dream
of.
Hermiston currently
has one high school, two
middle schools and five
elementary schools but
all of those schools are
getting crowded and the
Hermiston School District
hopes to convince voters
to agree to fund additional
STAFF PHOTO BY JADE MCDOWELL.
The Harkenrider Center on Sept. 4, 2018, with a grand opening and time capsule ceremony planned for Saturday.
schools or expansion of
the current schools soon.
Earlier this year the district
held graduation outside
of Hermiston for the
first time, up in the Tri-
Cities, which caused some
consternation. Hermiston is
also playing sports against
Tri-Cities teams for the
first time after switching
to a Washington sports
conference. The school
won its first football game
against Pasco on Friday,
but America is slowly
realizing that a sport that
encourages people to get
hit in the head frequently
is bad for its players, so I
am not sure high school
students will still be
playing football in 2068.
If I, a 29-year-old, can’t
keep up with all the social
media platforms the kids
these days are using then I
doubt they will mean much
to you either. Same goes
for all the slang. Just know
that the sentence “Fam,
Emma is salty about being
curved by Liam for being
too thirsty, and now she’s
low key throwing shade
at his new bae Olivia, and
that’s the tea,” makes sense
in 2018. To some, anyway.
Speaking of things that
are popular, perhaps the
easiest way to see what
Hermiston residents are
talking about in 2018 is
to read Whats Happening
Hermiston, a Facebook
group where residents
can post questions and
comments. People like
to complain about other
drivers (again, fingers
crossed that self-driving
cars become popular
quickly now that they’ve
been invented) debate the
quality of service at Taco
Bell, point out loose dogs
running around town and
to ask when the outdoor
sporting goods store Ranch
& Home will open. We’ve
been told “soon” for over
a year now, but maybe by
2068 it really will be open.
Looking at politics, you
should know that Donald
Trump is president. There’s
too much there to unpack
in a single column, but just
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know that people have a lot
of opinions about it.
Meanwhile on the local
level, the big debates in
the city have included a
kerfuffle about moving the
farmer’s market (which
turned out to be a big
success) and discussions
about whether Hermiston
should allow more food
trucks in town (the city
council voted yes).
Hermiston completed a
new set of fair and rodeo
grounds, called the Eastern
Oregon Trade and Event
Center, last year on what is,
for now, the south edge of
town. The city also opened
up a decorative “festival
street” on Northeast
Second Street and is
dedicating a new senior
center this week. Next,
the city is looking into the
possibility of building an
indoor pool.
Differing sides may
have their disagreements
about what is best for
Hermiston, but we all hope
that 50 years from now the
city is thriving (and that
the Cascadia earthquake
still hasn’t happened).
We’re doing our best, what
happens next is up to you.
———
Jade McDowell is a
reporter for the Hermiston
Herald and East Oregonian.
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