A6 • HERMISTONHERALD.COM
New year brings ch ch changes
T
he new year is in
full swing and with
that, my life is full of
change.
Whether it’s good, bad or
indifferent, one thing is for
sure ... it’s different.
Finally catching up with
the 2010s, I am now the
proud owner of a Àat screen
TV and blu-ray player.
While the TV made its way
into my house on Thanks-
giving (yeah, yeah, I’m one
of those who went shopping
while the turkey settled), it
didn’t actually make it out of
the box until after Christmas.
My husband, John, who
successfully conquered my
4 Gift Christmas Challenge
list, decided to go beyond
the quartet of presents and
slapped a bow on the boob
tube and called it a gift. I’m
not sure how right it is that
an item I ventured out in the
cold to get turned into my
own Christmas gift. Wasn’t
it enough that I had to stand
in line to see if I was lucky
enough to get one of the last
remaining 40-inch specials at ber when Tammy Stockman
didn’t have a Pepsi in her
Wal-Mart?
But it’s all good, the wait hand?”
Disdaining the aftertaste
resulted in only one evening
of frustration rather than two of Diet Pepsi, I ¿nally relent-
ed and began drinking
because on Christmas
Pepsi Next several
morning, I opened a
years ago. With a third
package to reveal a blu-
of the calories of regu-
ray player. We messed
lar Pepsi, my physician
with cords, input jacks,
has still suggested I
remote controls and
continue on the path
on-screen instructions
leading to calorie-free
to update my daybed
soda.
room entertainment Tammy
Right
around
set-up. Sure, technol- Malgesini
INSIDE MY
Christmas, I noticed
ogy is awesome, but SHOES
a decline in the num-
gone are the days of
merely plugging something ber of half-racks available
in and pressing the on switch. on store shelves. Initially I
“How do people like my thought maybe others were
parents deal with stuff like easing into a change to calo-
rie-free soda as the new year
this?” I exclaimed.
After what seemed like approached.
Unfortunately, my switch
forever, I was ¿nally able to
kick back and enjoy the fruits in soda had nothing to do with
a New Year’s resolution. Due
of our labor.
Another recent change in to declining sales, Pepsi quit
my life has to do with what’s producing Pepsi Next. I was
in my cup. I’ve been a Pepsi sent into a panic. I didn’t want
fan for years. As a senior in to go back to the full-calorie
college, among the “remem- product.
And the cost of Pepsi Next
ber whens” was “Remem-
was soaring on Amazon.com.
At nearly $90 a half-rack,
that’s like paying $7.50 per
can or 63 cents per swallow.
After much research and a
few taste tests, I am now of¿-
cially a drinker of Pepsi Max.
According to the tag-line, the
max stands for maximum
taste.
However, I think it also
has to do with more than
twice the amount of caffeine.
If my hands would stop shak-
ing, I cccould read the label
and tell you exactly how
much additional cccaffeine is
in the cccan.
“That’s all you need —
more caffeine,” said Renee
Struthers, our records editor.
Yup, ch ch changes for the
new year. (RIP David Bow-
ie.)
———
Tammy Malgesini is the
community editor. Her col-
umn, Inside my Shoes, in-
cludes general musings about
life. Contact her at tmalge-
sini@eastoregonian.com or
541-564-4539.
Melonville provides stand-up fun
Annual comedy festival
brings in trio of funny men
By TAMMY MALGESINI
Community Editor
Over the years, nearly 100 comedi-
ans have appeared in Hermiston during
the annual Melonville Comedy Festi-
val.
“The comics we bring in are some
of the top performers in stand-up com-
edy,” said Warren Smith, the show’s
producer.
This year’s event features Greg
Hahn as the headliner. Also set to tick-
le people’s funny bones is Drew Barth,
who is making his second appearance
on the Melonville stage. And, rounding
out the trio of funny men is Travis Nel-
son, who also will serve as the show’s
emcee.
The Melonville Comedy Festival is
Saturday, Jan. 30, with the doors open-
ing at 7 p.m. and the laughs starting at
8 p.m. at the Hermiston Conference
Center, 415 S. Highway 395. Tickets
for the 21-and-over event are $35 each.
They are available at the conference
center, www.melonvillecomedyfesti-
val.com or by searching Facebook for
“Melonville Comedy Festival.”
Hahn and Barth, who have paid
their dues in comedy clubs, are now
primarily corporate comics, perform-
ing for events put together by Fortune
500 companies to entertain their exec-
utives, stockholders, clients and em-
ployees, Smith said. They perform a
“clean” and funny show, he added.
“We have been after Greg (Hahn)
for several years, he stays booked up
on the corporate circuits,” Smith said.
CONTRIBUTED PHOTO
Greg Hahn is the headliner for the
Melonville Comedy Festival Jan. 30
at the Hermiston Conference Center.
Barth
Nelson
Hahn, a favorite on the Bob and
Tom Radio Show and Mornings on 97
Rock, has appeared on Late Night with
Conan O’Brien, Comedy Central and
most of the major networks and then
some.
After some time in the corporate
world, Hahn decided to take work less
seriously, pursuing a career in come-
dy. He landed a gig as the emcee for a
theme park show. Shortly thereafter, he
was a stunt man in the Wild Wild Wild
West Stunt Show at Universal Studios,
according to his website’s biography.
Church
Directory
“For $20 an hour I’d run out, fall
down a few times, then get whacked
in the head with a stick — dream job!”
Heading to New York City, Hahn
gained more exposure and success be-
fore landing in Los Angeles where he
currently resides.
Born and raised in Seattle, Barth
headed to Los Angeles after making
the ¿nals in the Seattle International
Comedy Competition. Performing in
the top clubs in Los Angeles, Barth lat-
er returned to his roots in the Emerald
City, where he continues his craft as a
comedian, actor and voice-over artist.
Hailing from Hoquiam, Washing-
ton, Nelson now resides in Seattle.
Described as “cynically sarcastic
and uncommonly sincere,” Nelson
is an up-and-coming comic who has
toured across the United States and
Canada.
Producing shows as far back as high
school and college, Smith cut his teeth
arranging for national acts at the Uma-
tilla County Fair in the late 1980s. He
also worked on entertainment for the
Umatilla Speedway, as well as outside
promotions for KOHU.
The comedy festival started out in
1994 as a fundraiser for the fair. When
the fair board discontinued the event,
Smith took it on and has continued
bringing top comedians to town.
“I guess I’m a junkie without re-
hab,” Smith said. “My biggest thrill is
to stand in a line at Safeway and hear
people that I do not know visit with ex-
citement about going to a show that I
am working on.”
For more information, contact
Smith at For more information, contact
Smith at 541-561-7488 or melonville-
comedyfestival@gmail.com.
NEW BEGINNINGS
CHRISTIAN FELLOWSHIP
Worship Service 10:30 AM
Sunday School 9:00 AM
Pastor J.C. Barnett
Children's Church
& Nursery Available
700 West Orchard Avenue
P.O. Box 933
Hermiston, Oregon
541-289-4774
Echo Community
Church
21 N Bonanza Street
Echo, OR
Phone: (541) 376-8108
Sunday School . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 9:30 am
Worship . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 10:45 am
Children’s Church . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 11:15 am
Potluck & Communion ~
First Sunday of the Month
Seventh-day
Adventist Church
s h i
W o r
p w i t h u s !
1255 Hwy. 395 S. • 567-5834
oasisvineyard.us
Worship 10:00 AM
"come as you are"
The Full Gospel
Home Church
235 SW 3rd
Phone 567-7678
Rev. Ed Baker - Rev. Nina Baker
Sunday: Sunday School . . . . . 10:00 am
Worship . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 11:00 am
Evening Service . . . . . . 7:00 pm
Wednesday Service . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 7:00 pm
First United
Methodist
Church Of
Hermiston
Rev. Dr. James T. Pierce, Pastor
Open Hearts, Open minds,
Open doors
"Casting all your care upon him;
for he careth for you."
1 Pet. 5:7
191 E. Gladys Ave.
Sunday Worship at 11am
(541) 567-3002
Our Lady of Angels
Catholic Church
Grace Baptist Church
565 W. HERMISTON AVE.
DAILY MASS: Monday-Friday
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . English 7:00 am
THURSDAY . . . . . . . . . Spanish 6:00 pm
SATURDAY: . . . . . . . . . English 5:00 pm
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Spanish 7:00 pm
SUNDAY: . . . . . . . . . . . . . . English 9:00 am
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Bilingual 11:00 am
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Spanish 1:00 pm
OFFICE . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 567-5812
NEW HOPE
COMMUNITY CHURCH
1350 S. Highway 395, Hermiston
Sunday Worship Services
English- Pastor Dave Andrus
9:00 & 10:45 am
Spanish- Pastor Genaro Loredo
9:00 & 10:15 am
Classes for kids during all services
For more information call
541-567-8441
WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 13, 2016
COMMUNITY
First Christian
Church
"Proclaiming the Message of
Hope, Living the Gospel of Love"
SUNDAY WORSHIP 10:30 AM
SUNDAY SCHOOL 9:30 AM
CHILDREN'S CHURCH 11:00 AM
Nursery Provided
567-3013
775 W. Highland Ave., Hermiston
567-8241
855 W. Highland • Hermiston
St. Johns
Episcopal Church
All People
Are Welcome
Scripture, Tradition
and Reason
Family service 9am Sunday
Gladys Ave & 7th Hermiston
Fr. Dan Lediard, Priest. PH: 567-6672
LANDMARK BAPTIST
CHURCH
555 SW 11th, Hermiston
567-9497
Nursery provided for all services
Sunday School - 9:30 AM
Worship - 10:45 AM
6:00 pm
Wed Prayer & Worship - 7:00 PM
“Proclaiming God’s word,
growing in God’s grace”
Saturdays
Sabbath School . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 9:30 a.m.
Worship Service . . . . . . . . . . . . . 11:00 a.m.
125 E. Beech Ave. • 567-3232
Pastor David Dever
Sun. Bible Classes . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 10:00am
Sun. Worship Service . . . . . . . . . . 11:00am
Sun. Evening Worship . . . . . . . . . . 6:00pm
Wed. Prayer & Bible Study . . . 6:00pm
www.hermistonlmbc.com
T HE C OUNTRY C HURCH
Pastor James Becker
32742 Diagonal RD
Hermiston OR 97838
Sunday School 10 am
Worship 7 am
Evening Service 7 pm
Bible Study Wednesdays 7 pm
Firestarter Youth Ministry
(Ages 12-17)
Monday @ 6 pm
To share your worship times
call Amanda Jacobs
541-278-2683
IN BRIEF
Library displays art
masterpieces
A selection of Ameri-
can art masterpieces will
be on display throughout
the month at the Hermis-
ton Public Library.
Provided by the Na-
tional Endowment for
the Humanities, the col-
lection seeks to intro-
duce Americans to their
artistic heritage and in-
spire them to become
more informed citizens.
The organization care-
fully selected the master-
pieces as a starting point
to learn more about our
nation’s artistic legacy.
Well known artists such
as John James Audubon
and Norman Rockwell
are among the many
American artists who’s
works are included in the
collection.
The library is open
Monday through Thurs-
days from 11 a.m. to 7
p.m., and Friday and Sat-
urdays from 10 a.m. to 5
p.m. It’s located at 235
E. Gladys Ave., Hermis-
ton. For more informa-
tion, call Marie Baldo or
Jodi Hansen at 541-567-
2882.
New club focuses
on photography
Shutterbugs of all skill
levels are invited to join
the Hermiston’ Public Li-
brary’s photography club.
Anyone with a passion
for photography or an in-
terest in improving pic-
ture taking ability is in-
vited to attend the second
Tuesday of each month at
5 p.m. at 235 E. Gladys
Ave., Hermiston.
There will be photo as-
signments, guest speak-
ers and ¿eld trips. The
club is free and open to
the public.
For more information,
contact Jodi Hansen at
541-567-2882 or jhan-
sen@hermiston.or.us.
Hospital auxiliary
provides volunteers
services
The Good Shepherd
Medical Center’s hospi-
tal auxiliary meets the
second Thursday of each
month.
The volunteer orga-
nization provides ser-
vices at the hospital and
participates in fundrais-
ing projects for student
scholarships in nursing/
medical careers and med-
ical equipment for the
medical center.
New members are
welcome and applica-
tions are available in the
hospital gift shop. For
more information, con-
tact June Rosenberg at
juner1942@gmail.com.
Eastern Oregon
Forum to be
rescheduled
Anna King of North-
west News Network was
scheduled to discuss
“Daughters of Hanford”
during the Jan. 12 Eastern
Oregon Forum.
However, due to King
being called to cover the
standoff situation in Har-
ney County, the forum
was postponed. It will be
rescheduled for a date lat-
er this month
The Eastern Oregon
Forum is a collabora-
tive effort among lead-
ers from Blue Mountain
Community College, In-
terMountain Education
Service District, the East
Oregonian, American As-
sociation of University
Women and Harriet Isom,
former United States am-
bassador.
For more information,
call Karen Parker at 541-
966-3177.
Nazarene church
offers marriage
class
A six-week
mar-
riage class at Hermiston
Church of the Nazarene
will help participants
learn to grow closer to
God.
God’s Dream for Your
Marriage begins Thurs-
day from 6:30-8:30 p.m.
in the church’s Ministry
Center, 1520 W. Orchard
Ave., Hermiston. Child-
care and snacks are pro-
vided. A small donation
is requested to assist with
supplies.
For more information,
call 541-567-3677.
Phone and Internet Discounts
Available to CenturyLink Customers
The Oregon Public Utility Commission designated Centu-
ryLink as an Eligible Telecommunications Carrier within its
service area for universal service purposes. CenturyLink’s
basic local service rates for residential voice lines are
$14.80-$16.80 per month and business services are $26.00-
$30.50 per month. Specific rates will be provided upon re-
quest.
CenturyLink participates in a government benefit program
(Lifeline) to make residential telephone service more afford-
able to eligible low-income individuals and families. Eligi-
ble customers are those that meet eligibility standards as
defined by the FCC and state commissions. Residents who
live on federally recognized Tribal Lands may qualify for
additional Tribal benefits if they participate in certain addi-
tional federal eligibility programs. The Lifeline discount is
available for only one telephone per household, which can
be either a wireline or wireless telephone. A household
is defined for the purposes of the Lifeline program as any
individual or group of individuals who live together at the
same address and share income and expenses. Lifeline
service is not transferable, and only eligible consumers may
enroll in the program. Consumers who willfully make false
statements in order to obtain Lifeline telephone service can
be punished by fine or imprisonment and can be barred from
the program.
Lifeline eligible subscribers may also qualify for reliable
home high-speed Internet service up to 1.5Mbps for $9.95*
per month for the first 12 months of service. Please call
1-866-541-3330 or visit centurylink.com/internetbasics for
more information.
If you live in a CenturyLink service area, please call 1-888-
833-9522 or visit centurylink.com/lifeline with questions or
to request an application for the Lifeline program.
*CenturyLink Internet Basics Program – Residential customers only who qualify
based on meeting income level or program participation eligibility requirements, and
requires remaining eligible for the entire offer period. First bill will include charges
for the \first full month of service billed in advance, prorated charges for service from
the date of installation to bill date, and one-time charges and fees described above.
Qualifying customers may keep this program for a maximum of 60 months after ser-
vice activation provided customer still qualifies during that time. Listed High-Speed
Internet rate of $9.95/mo. applies for first 12 months of service (after which the rate
reverts to $14.95/mo. for the next 48 months of service), and requires a 12-month
term agreement. Customer must either lease a modem/router from CenturyLink for
an additional monthly charge or independently purchase a modem/router, and a one-
time High-Speed Internet activation fee applies. A one-time professional installation
charge (if selected by customer) and a one-time shipping and handling fee applies to
customer’s modem/router. General – Services not available everywhere. Have not
have subscribed to CenturyLink Internet service within the last 90 days and are not a
current CenturyLink customer. CenturyLink may change or cancel services or substitute
similar services at its sole discretion without notice. Offer, plans, and stated rates are
subject to change and may vary by service area. Deposit may be required. Additional
restrictions apply. Terms and Conditions – All products and services listed are gov-
erned by tariffs, terms of service, or terms and conditions posted at centurylink.com.
Taxes, Fees, and Surcharges – Applicable taxes, fees, and surcharges include a
carrier Universal Service charge, carrier cost recovery surcharges, state and local fees
that vary by area and certain in-state surcharges. Cost recovery fees are not taxes
or government-required charges for use. Taxes, fees, and surcharges apply based on
standard monthly, not promotional, rates.
