OPINION
A4 HERMISTONHERALD.COM
SATURDAY, JUNE 27, 2015
COMMENTARY • LETTERS
HermistonHerald
VOLUME 109 ɿ NUMBER 40
-(66,&$.(//(5
EDITOR
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Gray zone — What
the heck’s coming?
T
imes, they are
a changing. Of
course, times
always change, otherwise
we’d be trapped in the
Dr. Who episode, “The
Wedding Of River Song.”
Time also seems to be
moving in a big circle.
What goes around, comes
around, so to speak.
The Hermiston Herald
is moving back to the
content it had when
I first began writing
columns for Timm
Collins’ “lifestyle
paper.” The Herald will
now be “a redesigned
newspaper, celebrating
Hermiston’s past,
present and future.”
This has me wondering
what this column
should focus on. If the
paper is going to look
more toward historical
celebration, maybe a
move to a more pedantic
history discussion would
be in order. It’d give
me a chance to put my
undergraduate history
degree to use, something
you don’t see every day.
On the other hand,
this is supposed to be
an opinion column. It’s
a bit difficult to have an
opinion about history. It’s
like having an opinion
about water. Maybe
there’s room for opinions
on what it was and what
it will be, but history’s
not the best topic going
forward.
Perhaps “celebrating”
would be better.
Certainly, in my opinion,
celebrations tend to be
good. Music, food, drink,
fun, revelry with wild
abandon ... but those are
kind of difficult to work
into a written column.
Descriptions, yes. But the
actual music, etc., not so
much.
A shift back to
educational columns
might be in order. New
subscribers may not have
seen the “how to run
your court case” series.
Or the condensed version
of the series that ran
sometime later.
Yet another flavor
of column would a
mild-mannered “brain
droppings” one.
Those columns are an
aggregation of five or
six lead paragraphs that
are “good ideas, but just
can’t be stretched out to
600 words all that well.”
The serious version of
stand up observational
7+20$6&5($6,1*
OFF THE BENCH
Herald columnist
comedy, as it were. “Hey,
how about that new
ethics law coming out of
Salem this week?”
The other complication
will be that the
publishing schedule will
change to once-a-week.
Will there be a need for
two columns a month,
arguably celebrating
history, as occurs with
the current column? Will
only one be needed? Or
none? A 50-percent cut
in column-inches means
something — or things
— is going to have to
go, after all. And my
understanding is that
it’s the Saturday edition
that’s going away. This
is likely to accommodate
the Wednesday coupons
and grocery fliers.
Nothing wrong with
that advertising —
advertising is money,
and a paper not making
money is not going to
stay in business, after
all. But there is that
small part of me that has
“Journalism” on his high
school class ring (do they
even do that any more?)
that wonders if maybe
they’re going the wrong
way. Maybe a newspaper
should be something
more than a means for
finding out what’s on
sale at the local grocery
this week.
A good way to decide
just what the heck I need
to be doing here would
be asking the readers of
the column what they
would like to see, given
the new formatting.
Education? Discussion?
Pedantry? Humor?
Reader input with a nod
to what the editor wants
to see, naturally. In the
meantime ... I’ll wonder.
And ponder.
Ah, the mystery. I can
live with it. Until I can’t.
That’s just the
“whither now?” opinion
of an opinionated guy.
Share your opinions
and ideas in response!
Letters to the editor or by
email to hermistonherald
offthebench@gmail.com.
Names of the terminally
shy will be withheld on
request.
— Thomas Creasing
is a Hermiston resident,
municipal court judge
and Herald columnist
Letters Policy
The Hermiston Herald welcomes original letters for
publication on public issues and public policies. Submitted
letters must be signed by the author and include the city of
residence and a daytime phone number. Phone numbers
will not be published. Letters may be mailed to the
Hermiston Herald, 333 E. Main, Hermiston, OR, 97838;
or emailed to editor@hermistonherald.com
Personality tests: Jobseekers beware!
“
There’s no such thing
as a stupid question
— but we’re doing
our best.”
That seems to be the
motto of thousands of
companies, judging by
revelations in the cover
story of the June 22
“Time” magazine.
In hopes of reducing
worker turnover and
increasing productivity,
Human Resources
departments are rushing to
embrace a new generation
of personality tests. Job
applicants must give
true-false answers to a
gazillion statements (say,
“I sometimes shop at thrift
stores” or “I have been
known to straighten a
picture frame”). The data is
crunched via an algorithm,
producing what “Time”
calls an “X quotient”, and
(before any face-to-face
interview) the applicant
is pegged as a keeper, a
maybe or toxic waste.
HR staffs don’t even
care if the applicants
tell the truth; they can
supposedly divine
something from how the
applicant tries to outwit
the system. So, you can
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Farmville or Bejeweled
'$11<7<5((
TYRADES!
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Blitz on the job, but you
get HIRED on the basis
of HR playing MIND
GAMES with you.
HR directors modestly
refer to the analytics as a
“tool.” Yeah, like when
you walk into your local
ACE Hardware and
announce, “I’m looking
for a tool that can forever
change the life of someone
who is nervous using
tools. Say, do you think the
safety could be removed
from this skill saw?”
Analytics is touted
as a cure for cronyism.
Companies can
supposedly get away
from the limitations of the
“old boys network.” And
how will it play out in
reality? (“Wow! I’ve got
the testing budgeted and
now hundreds of analytics
software vendors are
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Hmm...I wonder which
vendor knows the secret
lodge handshake?”)
Analytics is all about
detecting “correlations”
and “patterns.” I wonder
what patterns we would
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the parents or spouses
of some of the HR
professionals? (“Yeah,
she’s a smug, lazy, trend-
chasing pain-in-the-rear at
home, too.”)
I suspect that some
employers are getting a
kickback for embedding
advertisements in the
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tests including true-false
questions such as “I’d
like to teach the world to
sing,” “I deserve a break
today” and “Sometimes
I feel like a nut —
sometimes I don’t.”
The aspirations of the
HR people really trouble
me. (“We just want to
know our employees —
and our former employees,
and the people we didn’t
hire — better than they
know themselves. But not
in a CREEPY way! No,
more like the way you
know your best friend,
whom, apparently you
have homoerotic feelings
for but can’t acknowledge
such to yourself.”)
The tests are
worshipped as the no-
brainer wave of the future.
Of course, up until we
fought a little civil war,
the no-brainer formula for
“hiring” “employees” was
to judge them on “Good
teeth, strong back, wide
child-bearing hips...”
HR directors insist that
this is not a fad. (“Now
complete your test while
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If the personality tests
do hang around, I have
no doubt that the human
factor will eventually be
eliminated altogether.
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VXSSODQWVÀHVKDQGEORRG
HR departments, we can
expect some nightmarish
“2001: A Space Odyssey”
scenarios.
For instance, the HR
chief picks Hoyt Clagwell
WREHFHQWHU¿HOGHUDWWKH
company softball game,
only to hear a metallic
voice insist, “I’m afraid
that’s something I cannot
allow to happen. Daisy,
Daisy, give me your
answer do...”
— ©2015 Danny
Tyree. Danny welcomes
email responses at
tyreetyrades@aol.com and
visits to his Facebook fan
page “Tyree’s Tyrades.”
Danny’s weekly column
is distributed exclusively
by Cagle Cartoons Inc.
newspaper syndicate
LETTERS TO THE EDITOR
Coverage of special needs
community appreciated
Editor,
I am writing to express my appre-
ciation for the wonderful coverage
that has been given by the Hermiston
Herald to the various organizations
in our community that strive to meet
the needs of people with intellectual
and developmental disabilities. Vari-
ous articles on the accomplishments
of the local Special Olympic athletes,
activities provided by The Arc Uma-
tilla County and other events such
as the recent Epilepsy Walk have all
shed a light on this important seg-
ment of our population. I enjoy read-
ing about the good that people are
doing to make our little corner of the
world a better place!
,ZRXOGVSHFL¿FDOO\OLNHWRWKDQN
Jessica Keller for her attention to de-
tail and commend her for thoroughly
researching and reporting on issues
of interest in our area. I have had
the pleasure of being interviewed by
both Jessica Keller and Sam Barbee,
WZR¿QHMRXUQDOLVWVZKRDUHDEOHWR
capture the essence of a story and
share it in an interesting and succinct
manner.
While I do prefer to read my
newspaper in a printed version, I also
understand the importance of provid-
ing more information via the digital
format. I am grateful that the Herm-
iston Herald will continue to provide
a weekly printed newspaper. I would
encourage all people who are in sup-
port of our community to express
that support by continuing their sub-
scription to the Hermiston Herald.
KRISTI SMALLEY
HERMISTON
Computers aren’t a
necessity for seniors
Editor,
I do, indeed, strongly agree with
the Connie Fisher letter of June 20,
2015, regarding the many senior cit-
izens and many others that do not
have computers and do not need
them.
Hermiston, the largest city in
Eastern Oregon, should not be a
once-a-week newspaper city. There
is news out there.
I do agree that some need comput-
ers, such as the organizations we do
business with which rely 24 hours a
day on computers. And for what we
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doing so.
However, case in point, we
stopped in Boardman last week for
directions. We visited a business of-
¿FHIRUGLUHFWLRQVWRDEDQN7KHUH
ceptionist did not know the location.
By using her computer for several
minutes, it failed to help. Yes, this
was downtown Boardman. Oh well,
we were in no hurry and found our
own way. So much for Boardman
computers.
In closing, will the Caspers ever
get a computer? No! We will carry
on somehow now that we just got
one of those “television sets” a few
months ago. Now, Laura Dee thinks
we probably should get one of those
“telephone sets.” Well, we will see
about that. A social security payment
will soon be here.
Stay tuned.
Thank you for your attention.
MILTON GAYLORD CASPER
HERMISTON
Will paper cost less now?
Editor,
Funny. You run an ad promoting
notices “printed” in the paper. Then,
you ask me to do a survey “online.”
Now, you reduce the newspaper back
to once a week. You “charge” for
obituaries. Where does it end? Since
the paper will only be once weekly
now, is my subscription going to be
less? Yes, run this as a letter to the
editor! I’ll wait for your reply before
paying my subscription.
KAREN WILDE
ARLINGTON
Editor’s note: The subscription
price of the newspaper will not be
changing with the change back to
once-weekly publication. If we re-
duced the subscription price, we
would have to make cuts and would
have to likely consider whether we
can afford to publish a newspaper at
all.
ELECTED OFFICIALS
STATE
District 29: Sen. Bill Hansell,
R-Umatilla Co., 900 Court St. N.E.,
S-423, Salem, OR 97301, 503-986-
1729. 101 S.W. Third St., Pendleton,
OR 97801 (541) 278-1396. E-mail:
ssen.billhansell@state.or.us.
District 30: Sen. Ted Ferrio-
li, R-John Day; 900 Court St. N.E.,
S-223 Salem, OR 97301, 503-986-
1950. 750 W. Main, John Day, OR
97845, (541) 575-2321. E-mail: ferr-
ioli.sen@state.or.us.
smith.g.rep@state.or.us.
District 58: Rep. Greg Barreto,
R-Pendleton; 900 Court St. N.E.,
H-480, Salem, OR 97301, 503-986-
1458. E-mail: rep.gregbarrento@
state.or.us. Website: http://www.ore-
gonlegislature.gov/barreto
District 57: Rep. Greg Smith,
R-Morrow, 900 Court St. N.E.,
H-280, Salem, OR 97301, 503-986-
1457. P.O. Box 215, Heppner, OR
97836, (541) 676-5154. E-mail:
FEDERAL
U.S. Sen. Ron Wyden
Sac Annex Building, 105 Fir St.,
No. 201, La Grande, OR 97850;
(541) 962-7691. E-mail: kath-
leen_cathey@wyden.senate.gov;
(Kathleen Cathey, community rep-
resentative); 717 Hart Building,
Washington, D.C. 20510, (202)
224-5244.