THE HERALD, HERMISTON, OREGON
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FINNEY OF THE FORCE
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« POPULAR SffcR r WWW tv»' RUMMY
PAPERS MOW DAYS' AUO TMey SURE DtÇ
up s o m e " e c c x o o s ’ u s s c u -5
p n o M am l o w * a a p c r « “ j o u M G etz
HOGrS OM AAOUPAV AMD
By Charles Sughroe
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■■
__________Tricht o f the Types
" O W IN G T O A LACK OP SPACE, SEVERAL
H E R c iS * A U O ì M O t » " J A M E S É fO R M A U V ,
3lRTV»S AMP DEATHS WIU. BE POST­
PONED UNTIL NEXT WEEK 'i. PR O M
A VERMONT P X P E R , -THAT O N E
W H O W A S E L E C T E D P R E E lD E M T O P TH E
C O M P A N Y YESTERDAY, B E fiA M U F E AS A
W
AMP A
H E A 0 U M E * " p R 4 S O W E R . W ILL 6 6
F R .IE P O M " T H U R S D A Y 2
"Does
A M D A N O T H E R -*
Truthful
driukim ç hooch m a k e a m a m
IM M O R T A liT *
“W h a t yon w a n t on th is p a p er," sa id
th e fa vo red co n trib u to r, w ho waa
ta lk in g o v er a suggested series o f a r ­
tic les w ith th e ed ito r, “Is a b la h o p "
“ I beg y o u r p a rd o n ,” said th e ed­
ito r.
“I said you w an ted a bishop on th a
p a p er," affirm ed th e contributor.
“ W h a t ever f o r t ”
“W e ll,” rep lied th e o ther, p ic k in g
up hla h a t, “fro m w h a t F v e seen o f It,
th e re a re a n u m b er o f statem en ts
w h ich need c o n firm a tio n !"
Jiggers— I'd lik e to find o u t w h o
w ro te th a t anonym ous le tte r about m a
to th e g u v’nor.
F rie n d — W h a t did he aayT
“T h a t I was a laxy, w o rth less scoun­
drel, an Id le, d ru n ken lo a fe r, w h o
spent a ll m y sp are tim e In b illia r d
room s.”
“ B y Jo ve I I t w aa some one w h o
kn ew y o u !"
AMP OMC M O R E ,
"F L Y T O W ED O U P A S S e w G E R . S H IP . *
JUST M A X IM E I
THEY COVER THE GROUND
O w r
Pet Peeve
H e — I te ll you w h en I w a lk I cover
th e ground.
She— Yes, big fe e t a re c e rta in ly
an a d van tag e in co verin g th e ground.
o » N o x io u s
W E tP Z
Hymn of H ate
-J l g u y I h a te
I s first nam ed Fred,
H e w ea rs a tie
l'h a t’s flam ing red.
Houf It W orked
I MUST BE VERY
CAREFUL
M rs. F u d d le — I have had a ll th e f u r ­
n itu re and p ictu res s h ifte d arou nd—
th ey say I t Is a su re cu re fo r a head­
ache.
M rs. M u d d le— A n d d id It cu re y o u r
headache?
M rs . F u d d le— Yes, cured m ine, b a t
gave m y husband a headache.
[ 5 I X O 'C L O C K //
IN
'T h e s e _
PAKOE LIONS 50[_
p ic k in g
Tim id
A$ MOT TO
INJURE THE ROOTS
A co nversatio n w ith an old D a r t ­
m oor fa rm e r ’s w ife tu rn e d on a n
em pty house In th e neighborhood.
“I am su rp rised," said th e vis ito r,
“th a t such a fine place should stand
em p ty so long."
"A h , s ir,” rep lied th e old lad y, “ I t ’s
a fin e house, b u t I t ’s fe s tiv e w ith ra ta .”
IT VARIES
THE FEATHERHEADS
By O*bome
Who’s a Poor Risk?
F « a B ? e rh e & ¿
F à b l« S f —
“H o w deep la th a t piece o f p ro p ­
erty? "
“ W e ll, I t m easures 60 by 150, an d
w h en th e tid e Is In, I t ’s fiv e fe e t deep,"
TAe Speed Fiend
Cow e
m a in
/
■
Lillien “Burro kJ
(X *h .
•T H E
CLANCY
»KIDS
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in m e
w o rn » w e n t M ro w
top or e a «« o rn e a w o v i
^ T w iA C H hcavcn *
r w e u . T M u F M w e m l <—
h u e T w e e s w tf tc pwtp H
iT o P p rix c H o v n u x - r
WOOL» THAT WCACM I - *
L- r H e a v e n ?
JTH u FPOT h E A U .T H C
M O f t E ¡H l -
Trie WORLD W tR C P u r OH TOP o f C_
■ » M e - r w ie i a n ' t w h o w n e s - I
I w o u i » t h a t W C A C H HCAVCP^f
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A£¡* JAM fOR?
PCD AS A N ’A l t J
m 3 flUMMC?
—» RUNOUT ANO
S t e V/HKT MAMA
7 HAS R>R YOU. r
“
T B o p o ie !\
”! 5 « ? 7 7 3
The Oaly Thing That W m M
Beach That High to
the H. C a i L.
B e h a te s to be w here'er he Is.
(A phobia ra th er q u a in t).
A nd so he's ev er on th e w hig
T o g a t to w h ere ha ain't.
One W ay
S tic k — Is I t possible fo r an e x p e ri­
enced m o to ris t to lose co ntrol o f hla
car?
S tone— C e rta in ly . H e m ig h t be un­
ab le to p a y th a m oney on IL — Good
H a rd w a re .
A Poor Bueineee W oman
“ F o r $2 I ' l l read y o u r m in d )”
“A re yon a re a l m ind re a d e r r *
" I a m ."
“T h e n yon should kn o w I haven*»
th a t m uch m oney."
N o More Doubt
(/*
^5
M r . W h itle y — So th e F ra n k s h a ve a
baby n o w »
W e ll. I t w in s e ttle one
question, anyhow .
M rs . W h itle y ------- W h at*a th a t»
M r . W h itle y — A s to w h o is th e b o m
o f th e house.
Conscience
( 4 *'
By P E R C Y L. C R O S B Y
c By lha Mfclllr» N«wgpap»r RynxHcatn
cent you get to an old wom an In the
n e x t b lo c k ) W h a t a good h e a rt yon
m ust have, c h ild ." L ittle O ne— " Yea.
air, an ' duddy aaya I*va a good atom-
ach, too— I buy
m y candy th e m .’*
an
MayAe So
“ Yea, a ir, I th in k a m an ought to
be allow ed to liv e bla ow n U fa "
“s o r
"Y ea, air. A n d I f he chooses a lin e
o f procedure th a t In d ica te« speudlng
(m rt o f It In th e Jnilhousa, 1 th ink
(h a t'a hla p rivileg e ."
Imitation of Bad Look
WOULD RATTLE ANYONE
J o a n — It 's an opal rin g M r. Cheep-
side geve me.
D o ra (e x a m in in g I t ) — E r — do yon
lik e It»
J,>en— Tee, hot th e re 's th a t old au
p e rs tltlo a , yon kn ow I'm a fra id It w ill
b rin g me had luck.
D o ra — D o n 't
w o rry .
The
worst
th is could b rin g yon wool») be an Im l
la tln a o f bad luck.
T h e product o f a tig h t ahoe or an
oak tre e la a c o r n
m an to h a ve ao m an y accldenta In a
fliv v e r aa yo n ."
D r iv e r — “O h , an y-
body'nd g a t r a ttle d In th is c a r."
A M a rk e d Reeembianee
I'as sen g er— “ I'v a
ne ver
kn ow n
a
“A m ong th e m oat In te re s tin g relics
o f th a mound b u ilders th a t w e dis­
covered," salti th e re tu rn e d e x p lo re r,
“w as a m am m y In a p e rfect s ta te o f
p reservatio n w ith a skull m easu ring «
Inches In circ u m fe re n c e .“
“My
g ra c io u s !“
e ja c u la te d
his
hearer.
" I had n o M en th e re w ere
m ovie lea d in g m an In th orn dnya."
V '>
Up-to-D ate Car
C ustom er— W h a t la th is device»
A u to D e m o o a tra to r— T h a t ab uts off
the spark.
C u s to m er— A n d w h a t la th is th in g
fo r»
A u to D e m o n s tra to r— T h a t shuts off
th e gas. A n d th ia o th e r t it tle device
la the best fe a tu re o f a lL
C u s to m er— W h a t does I t d o t
A u to D em o n s tra to r— I t shuts i f f th e
coo versa t Io n on th a back s c a t— U h
A w itless bead m akes w e a ry f e e t
S ten o g rap h e r— S h a ll I end th e le t­
te r w ith “T o u rs sin cerely ." a ir»
T h e Bose— N o ; you'd b e tte r sign I t
“ R e s p e c tfu lly yours.” I said a th in g
o r tw o I'm none too easy about.
Caoft Tono la
F a th e r (s e v e re ly )— N o w you u n d e r-
a t M d w h a t I h ave Just said, young
S m a ll
D a u g h te r
(u n im p re s s e d )—
W ill yo n please b roadcast I t ag ata
d a d d y ) I h a v e n 't q n lte got y o n r w av e
Nooor Thought of That
F ir s t S tude— W h y did kings ta p men
on th e bead w h en th ey kn ig h te d th em »
Second S tude— P erhap s th e stars
m ads th e kn ig h ts m ore re a lis tic .