19
TTOME AXT) F A R M M A G A Z IN E S E C T IO N
HOME AND FARM MAGAZINE SECTION SERIAL.
By
Geo. B arr
M cCntcheoi.
C opyright, 1913,
By Geo. B arr
M cCutcheon.
A Fool and His Money
came of me. T here was one p articu lar visible a t a glance. A trim nurse maid
man whom he favored the most. A stood in th e sm all gallery which circled
dreadful man! W’e quarrelled b itte rly the top of th e tu rre t, ju s t above and
when I declared th a t eith er ho or I to th o rig h t o f us. She held in her arm s
th e pink hooded, pink-coated Rosemary,
would have to leave th e house— for
m ade snug ag ain st th e chill w inds of
ever I d o n ’t m ind confessing tn you
her lo fty parad e ground. H er yellow
th a t the man I speak o f is vour friend,
curls peeped out from beneath the lace
e
tho gentle Count ITohendahl, some tim e
of th e hood and her round little cheeks
ogre o f th is c a stle .”
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were th e eolor of the p e a c h ’s bloom.
♦
I shuddered. A feeling of u tter loath
‘ ‘ Now, is n 't she lo v e ly !” cried my
ing fo r all these unprincipled scoundrels eager companion. " E v e n a crusty
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came over me, and I mildly took the bachelor can see th a t Fhe is a d o ra b le .’’
e
e
name of th e Lord in vain.
" I am not a crusty b ach elo r,’ ' I p ro
&
W ith an ab ru p t change o f nature, she tested in d ig n an tly , " a m i w h a t’s more,
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♦
arose from her eh air and began to pace I am positive I should like to kiss those
the floor, d istracted ly b eatin g her red little cheeks, which is saying a
clinched hands ag ain st her bosom. g reat deal for me. I 'v e never volun
Twice I heard her murm ur: ‘ ‘Oh, ta rily kissed a baby in my lif e .”
&
G o d !”
" I do not approve of th e baby-kiss-
&
This sta rtlin g exposition of feeling ng cu sto m ,” she said severely. " I t is
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gave me a most uncanny shock. I t came extrem ely unhealth y an d — middle-class.
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out of a d e a r sky, so to say. at a mo S till,’ ’ seeing my expression change, ‘ ‘ I
&
m ent when T w as beginning to regard sh a n ’t mind your kissing her on ce.”
o
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her as cold blooded, callous, and u tte rly
" T h a n k s ,” said I hum bly.
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w ithout th e em otions supposed to exist
Tt w as plain to be seen th a t sh e did
♦>
in th e b reast o f every high minded
«►
not in ten d to re fe r to th e recent o u t
woman. And now I w as w itness to the
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burst. S uperb exposition of tact!
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pain she suffered, now I heard her cry
C atch in g the n u rse's eye. she sig
€>
ont ag ain st the th in g th a t had h u rt her
nailed fo r her to bring tho child down
so pitilessly. I turn ed my head aw ay, to us. RosPmarv took to me a t once.
vastl-, moved P resen tly she moved A most em barrassing th in g happened.
over to th e window. A covert glance On seeing mo she held out her chubby
revealed her stan d in g th ere, looking not
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arm s and shouted " d a - d a ! ” a t th e top
down a t th e D anube th a t seemed so fa r of her in fa n tile lungs. T h a t had never
*>
aw ay b u t up a t th e blue sky th a t happened to me before.
f f i y i r H IL E I am not overjoyed a t the seemed so near.
I flushed and the C ountess shrieked
prospect o f being dragged into
I sa t very still and repressed, trv in g w ith lau g h ter. I t w o u ld n ’t have been
it, Countess, 1 certain ly refuse to rem em ber th e harsh, unkind things so bad if th e nurse had known her
to b ark out a t th is stag e of the game. I had said to her. and b eratin g m yself place. I f th ere is one tilin g in th is
M oreover, you m ay rest assured th a t I fiercely fo r nil o f them. W hat a stop d, world th a t I hate w ith fervor, it is an
■hall not tu rn you o u t.”
vain glorious ass I was n o t to have d i ill m anenred, poorly tra in e d servant. A
“ I t occurred to me last n ig h t th a t vined som ething of th e inw ard fight g rin n in g n u rs e m a id is th e w orst of all.
the safest th in g for you to do, Mr. she w as m aking to conquer the emo I may be super-sensitive and crotchety
S m art, is to— g et out y o u rself.”
I. tions that, filled her h e a rt unto the about such th in g s, h u t I can see no ex
stared. She w ent on hurriedly: " C a n t b u rstin g point.
euse for keeping a se rv a n t— especially
The sound o f dry. suppressed sobs a nurse maid —who laughs a t everything
you go aw ay fo r a m o n th ’s v isit or— ”
“ Well, upon my so u l!” I gasped. came to mv ears. Tt w as too mueh for t h a t ’s said b y her superiors, even
" W o u ld you tu rn me out of my own me. I stealth ily q u it my position by though the- quip may be no more side
the m antel piece and tip toed tow ard sp littin g th a n a tw o syllabled ‘‘ da da. '
house! T his b eats an y th in g I ’ve— ”
th e door, b en t on leav in g her alone.
" H a , h a ! ” I laughed bravely. " S h e
‘ ‘I was only th in k in g o f your peace
H alfw ay there T h esitated , stopped and —she ev id en tly th in k s I look like the
of m ind and your—yo u r s a f e ty ,” she
then d elib erately retu rn ed tn th e fire Count. He is very handsome, you s a y .”
eried unhappily. ‘ ‘ T ruly, tru ly I w a s.”
place, w here 1 noisily shuffled a fresh
" O h , th a t is n 't i t , ” cried the
• ‘ W ell, I p refer to sta y here and do
supply of coals in to the g rate. I t would Countess, ta k in g R osem ary in her arm s
w hat little I can to shield you and
be heartless, even unm annerly, to leave and d irectin g me- to a spot on her rosy
Rosem ary, ’ ' said I sullenly.
h er w ith o u t le ttin g h er know th a t T cheek. " K is s rig h t th ere, Mr. Sm art.
" I ’ll not say an y th in g horrid again, was h e a rtily asham ed of m yself and
There! W a s n 't it a nice kiss, honey-
Mr. S m a rt,” Bhe said q u ite meekly. (I com pletely in sym pathy w ith her. W ise
b u n ch ! I f you are a very, very nice
ta k e th is occasion to repeat th a t I ’ve ly , how ever, I resolved to let her have little girl th e kind gentlem an wiil kiss
never seen any one in all my life so h er cry out. Some one a g reat deal
you on th e o th er cheek some day. She
p re tty as she!) H er m oist red lip tre m more far-seeing th an I le t th e world
calls every man she m eets da d a ,” ex
bled slightly, like a censured c h ild ’s.
in to a most im portant secret when he plained th o rad ian t young m other.
A t th a t in sta n t th ere came a ra p advised man to tak e th a t course when " S h e ’s aw fu lly European in her habits,
ping on th e door. I sta lle d a p p re in doubt.
you see. You need not feel flattered .
hensively.
F or a long while T w aited for h er to She calls C onrad and Rudolph and Max
‘ ‘ I t is only M ax w ith the co al,” she regain control of herself, ra th e r dread da-da, and th is m orning to th e back
explained, w ith obvious relief. ‘ ‘ We in g th e apology she would feel called window she applied the same handsome
keep a fire going in th e g rate all day upon to make for her a b ru p t reversion com plim ent to y o u r Mr. P oopendyke.”
" O h , ” said I, ra th e r more c re s t
long. Y o u ’ve no idea how cold it is up to th e firs t principles of her sex. The
here even on the h o tte st days. Come sobs ceased entirely. I experienced the fallen th an relieved.
sh arp jo y of relaxation. H er d a in ty
" W o u ld you like to hold her, Mr.
in !”
Max came near to dropping th e Seat lace h an d k erch ief found em ployment. S m a rt! S h e 's such a darling to h o ld .’ ’
" N o — no, th an k y o u ,” I eried, b a c k
tle when he saw me. He stood as one F irs t she would dab it cautiously in
one eye. then th e other, a fte r which ing off.
petrified.
" O h , you will come to it. never
• ‘ D o n ’t mind Mr. Sm art, M a x ,” she would scrutinise its crum pled su r
said she serenely.
“ He w o n ’t bite face w ith most ex trao rd in ary in terest. f e a r ,” she said gaily, as she restored
A t least a dozen tim es she repeated this R osem ary to the n u rse's arm s. “ W o n ’t
your head o f f .”
The poor elumsy fellow spilled q u a n puzzling operation. W hat in th e world he, B la k e ! ”
" H e w ill, my la d y ,” said B lake w ith
titie s of coal over th e h earth when be was she looking fo r! To th is day. th a t
atte m p te d to replenish th e fire a t her stran g e, sly peeking on her p a rt r e conviction. I noticed th is tim e th a t
B lak e's smile w a s n 't h a lf bad.
command, and moved w ith g re a te r ee m ains a m ystery to me.
She tn m ed sw iftly upon me and
A t th a t in s ta n t Jin k o . the ehow,
le ritv in m aking his escape from the
room th a n I had ever known him to ex beckoned w ith her little forefinger. pushed th e door open w ith his black
ereise before. Somehow I began to r e G reatly eoneerned, I sprang tow ard her. nose and strolled im posingly into the
gain a lost feeling o f confidence in W as she prep arin g to sw oon! W hat in room. H e proceeded to tre a t me in the
m yself. The confounded Schmicks, big h e a v e n ’s name was I to do if she took most ca v a lie r fashion by bristing and
and little , were afra id of me, a fte r all. it into her p re tty head to do such a grow ling
The C ountess opened her eyes very
• ‘ By th e w a y ,” she said, a fte r we th in g as th a t ! In v o lu n tarily I shot a
had ligh ted our cig arettes, ‘ ‘ I am quick look at her blouse. To mv horror wide.
" D e a r m e.” she sighed, “ you must
n early out of th e s e .” I like th e way it was b u tto n ed down th e back. I t
she held the m ateh fo r me, and then would be a bachelor s tuck to-— B ut be very lik e th e Count, a fte r all. Jin k o
never grow ls a t anv one b u t h im .”
flicked it snappily in to the e rn te r o f she w as sm iling rad ian tly . Saved!
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A
• ‘ L o o k !” she eried. poin tin g upw ard
a pile of cushions six feet from the
A t d in n er th a t evening I asked P oop
through th e window. " I s n ' t she loi e
fireplace.
endyke p o in t blank if he could eall to
I made a m ental note of the shortage l y ! ”
I stopped short in mv tra c k s and mind a m arriage in N ew Y ork society
and then adm iringly said th a t I didn 't
see how any m an, even a count, could stared a t her in b lan k am azem ent. th a t m ight f i t the principals in this
puzzling case.
help adoring a woman who held a cigar W hat a stu p efy in g creatu re she was!
He hemmed and haw ed and appeared
She beckoned again, im p atien tly . I
e tte to her lips as she did.
*‘ O h ,” she said coolly, ‘ ‘ his frien d s obeyed w ith alac rity . O b tain in g a to h e g re a tly confused.
• • Really, sir, 1— I—really, I — ’ ’
were w illing w orshippers, all of them. ra th e r clear view of h er eyes, I was
" Y o u m ake it a p o int to read all of
T here w a s n 't a man among them who considerably surprised to fin d no trace
failed to m ake v iolent l-v e to me, and of departed te a m H er cheek w as as th e society n ew s,” I explained; " a n d
w ith tho C o u n t's perm ission a t th at. smooth and cream y w hite as it had you are a g re a t hand fo r rem em bering
Yon m ust not look so shocked. I man been before th e deluge. H et eyelids nam es an d faces. T hink h a rd .”
" A s a m a tte r of fa c t, Mr. Sm r.rt, I
aged to keep them a t a safe distance. were d ry and orderly sn e h er nose had
M r unreasonable a ttitu d e tow ard them not been blown once to my recollection. ifo rem em ber th is p artic u la r m arriage
used to annoy my hnsband in te n se ly .” T ruly, it was a m arvelous recovery. I very c le a rly ,” said he, looking down a t
his plate.
atill wondered.
•‘ Good Lord I ”
e
e
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SY N O P SIS OP PREVIO US
INSTALLM ENTS.
Tn the opening instalm ents of "A
Fool and H is M oney,” Geo. Barr Mc
C utcheon's charming novel, serial
rights for which have been specially
obtained for the Home and Earn*
M agas.ne Section, we learn of John
B ellam y Smart, the young man who
ia tellin g th is story. He has ju st
w ritten his first novel, and at the
sam e tim e has fallen heir to an im
m ense fortune left him by his uncle.
A fter a v isit to London, Smart
tak es a trip on the River Danube.
A fter fin ding an old world town, he
diaeovers an ancient castle, which ha
pu rchases from its owuer, the Count.
W ith h is secretary, Poopendyke, he
tak es possession of the immense
structure, w hich ia supposed to be
tenanted only by the caretaker and
his fam ily, the Schm icks. Later Smart
fin d s a woman who is in possession
of a w ing of the eastlc that is barred
to him. She grants a brief interview ,
but refuses to leave. The servants
appear to be in league w ith her, and
Smart is in a quandary. Later he is
captivated by the wit and beauty of
the m ysterious lady and no longer
urges her departure. H e finds that
she is divorced from a worthless and
schem ing Austrian Count, who was
awarded the custody of the lady a
child. The Count demands a million
dollars from his rich American father
in law, when he would give it up. The
mother abducts the child and selects
the castle a s a hiding place. Smart
fears trouble w ith the authorities,
but decides to a ssist the fair divorcee,
although she warns him o f the
danger
W
•'Pooh!
He didn't care what be
The cause of her excitement was
"Y ou d o t” 1 shouted eagerly.
new footm an stared. " S p le n d id ! Tell
me, who is she— or was s h e ! ”
My secretary looked me steadily in
the eye.
‘‘ I ’m sorry, sir, b u t—but I c a n ’t do
it. I prom ised her th is m orning I
w ouldn’t let it be dragged out of uie
ith red hot tongs. ’ ’
CH A PTER V II.
I Receive V isitors.
She was indeed atten d ed by fa ith fu l
slaves.
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The east w ing of the castle was as
still as a mouse on the day my house
p arty arrived. Grim old doors took on
new padlocks, keyholes were carefully
stopped up: creaking
floors were
calked; windows were picketed by un
compromising articles of fu rn itu re de
ployed to keep my ruthless refugee from
adventuring too close to the danger
zone; and adam antine instructions were
served out to all of my vassals. E very
th in g appeared to be in tip-top shape
fo r the experim ent in stealth.
And yet I trem bled. My secret seem
ed to be safely planted, but w hat would
the harvest b e! 1 knew 1 should w atch
those upper windows w ith hypnotic
zeal, and listen w ith stra in in g ears for
the inevitable squall of a child or the
bark of a dog. My brain ran riot w ith
incipient subterfuges, excuses, apologies
and lies w ith which my position was to
be sustained.
T here would not be a m inute during
the week to come when I would be per
fectly free to call ray soul my own, and
as for nerves! well, w ith good luck they
m ight endure the strain . Popping up in
bed out of a sound sleep at the slig h t
est disturbance, with ears wide open,
and nerves tingling, was to be a nightly
occupation nt u ncertain in terv als; th a t
was plain to be seen. All day long I
would bo shivering w ith an xiety and
praying for night to coine so th a t I
m ight lie aw ake and pray for the sun to
rise, and in th is w ay pasa the tim e as
quickly as possible. T here would be d if
ficu lty in g ettin g my visitors to bed
early, another th in g to test my power
a t conniving. They were bridge p lay
ers, of course, and as such would be up
till all hours of the m orning overdoing
them selves in the e ffo rt to read each
o th e r ’s thoughts.
I thanked the L ord th a t my electric
lig h tin g system would not be installed
u n til a fte r they had departed. O rd i
n arily th e Lord is n ’t thanked when an
electric light com pany fails to perform
its work on schedule tim e, b u t in thia
case delay w as courted.
W e were all som ew hat surprised and
not a little disorganized by th e a p p ear
ance of four unexpected serv an ts in the
tra in of my party. We h a d n ’t counted
on an y th in g quite so elaborate. T here
w ere two la d y ’s m aids, not on friendly
term s w ith each o th er; a F rench v alet
who had th e a ir of one used to being
served on a tra y outside the s e r v a n ts ’
q u a rte rs; and a G erm an a tte n d a n t w ith
hands constructed especially for th e
purpose of kneading and gouging the
innerm ost muscles of his m aster, who it
appears had to bo kneaded and gouged
th re e tim es a day bv a m asseur in order
to stave o ff paralysis, locom otor a tax ia
or som ething equally unw elcom e to a
high liver.
We had ample room for all th is physi
cal increase, b u t no beds. I tran sferred
th e problem to Poopendyke. How ha
solved it I do not know, b u t from the
w oebegone expression on his face the
m orning a fte r the f ir s t n ig h t, and the
fa c t th a t B ritto n w as unnecessarily
rough in shaving me, I gathered th a t
th e tw o of them had slept on a pile of
rugs in the low er hall.
Elsie I.’azzard presented m e to her
frien d s and, w ith lordly generosity. I
presented th o eastle to them . H er hus
band, Dr. George, thanked me fo r sa v
ing all th e ir liv es and then, feeling a
d ra ft, tu rn ed i p his e o a t collar and in
form ed me th a t w e 'd all die if I didn t
have th e eraeks stopped up. He eteined
unnecessarily te sty about it.
(To Be C ontinned.)
Cornell U n iv ersity recently dedicated
a forestry building .n connection w ith
The the sta te college of agriculture,