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TWO The Gazette-Times. Heppner, Ore., Thursday, March 17, 1H77
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Life'CfitiHm Sunday
HO AH MAN IL
TO MORROW
AND
TOO TOMORROW
i By Tom Franks
Most of us do not have the tools necessary to work out the
problems of living.
When living hands us some "problems," we begin a frantic
search. We first assume that there must be an answer for
every problem. After a time of looking, we begin to realize
that nobody else has much to offer.
Those who appear to have a solution generally tell us
exactly what we don't want to hear. Generally it is something
we have already tried. Something that didn't work for us.
"That's fine for you, but everybody is different," we say.
We never ask ourselves "Why is it that all these so-called
different people have similar problems?"
For a time, we dismiss our problems, but they come back
to haunt us. We try to roll with the punches, take the good
with the bad and congratulate each other because we have
finally graduated into the "Fraternal Order of Grin and Bear
It."
The religious fraction of this fraternity is known for
grinning and bearing it cold turkey. The accepted social
group is, within reason, allowed to drink up a "Grin and Bear
It." Another segment of this self-imposed cast system
smokes up a "Grin and Bear It."
The list in this cast system goes on forever. There is sniff
and bear, pop and bear, chew and bear, work and bear, drift
and bear, sleep and bear, exercise and bear, etc.
At the bottom of this system are those who "Growl and
Bear It." The person who can't grin is therefore in big
trouble, an American outcast. He is known as a downer to the
chemical uppers, a damper to the chemically depressed, a
spoil sport on the athletic field and a wet blanket on the
attendance of public worship.
However wonderful the "Grin and Bear It Fraternity" may
be it is still a bear.
Spring Vacation
Spring vacation is at hand. Students of all sizes and
descriptions will escape from the classroom confines the
week of Mar. 20.
I have been ready to escape from school since the first
grade.
The truth is that a teacher (of sorts ) discovered yours truly
in the coat room with a petite blonde experimenting with our
first kiss. Hers and mine.
The "teacher" marched me to my desk and obtained a
short piece of plaster lath. The lath was put between my
wrists and then my wrists were tied together. Thus I stayed
until recess, as .1 recall.
In subsequent years, despite the claims of Madison
Avenue, blondes may have had more fun but not with me.
I cannot say that the experience didn't smart. The amazing
thing was the wealth of insight at that age. My impression of
that teacher, only put into words today, consisted of a
knowledge that she was, so to speak,' "Over the Hill."
I further reasoned that coat rooms were off limits and of
little practical use. My reasoning was confirmed with the
demise of coat rooms and the advent of lockers, which are no
place to experiment with anything.
Looking back at this column thus far, I must concur with a
recent comment made to me by Heppner's one-liner
champion Mayor Jerry Sweeney. Says Sweeney to me, "Can
I do any better? Probably so. But not without outside help!"
Right on.
The following are some choice statements gleaned from
the Pony Express, the Heppner Junior High School
newspaper. Such honesty we should have.
Writing about a new student body president, Susan
Johnson, the reporter said, "Susan says she knows it is a big
responsibility but she says she can handle it. She says she
feels important and it feels pretty good."
In Feb. 14, the Pony reporter said of the kindergarten,
"The kids just now finished learning counting to ten and the
alphabet." Two weeks later we read in the same
paper "Miss Benedict's kindergarten classes are real busy.
They have all learned to count to ten and say the alphabet."
And in sports "Launer was stopped on the boards due to a
six foot tall monster."
Launer himself had this report to make: "...most of the
horoscopes are just made up. So if you are a believer, my
advice is don't rely on newspapers or magazines."
I find myself back in the business of definitions this week.
Some of my definitions for certain common use words in the
English language no longer fit any given dictionary.
If you run out of things to do in Morrow County, you might
try putting new definitions to words. For example, take
compromise and look it up in the dictionary and then play
with it. If you have something better to play with, that's o.k.,
too.
Compromise A contraction of the words come and
promise, or a promise guaranteed by a come on. Also,
Shaving wants to fit an imagined need.
I know better now, but here is my definition of the word
grace from some early notes.
- Grace The process whereby God changes the water in
man's goldfish bowl before he suffocates on the carbon
dioxide of his own verbage.
Peace A future state of blessedness where the Lion will lie
down with the lamb and starve to death.
Parks National nature museums where men go to escape
the society they have yet to subdue. 1
Letters to the Editor
Pipeline water
Editor:
Now is the time to find ways to send water from one part of
the country to another through the gas pipeline systems we
have, to fight drought or help relieve flood conditions in any
part of the nation.
William R. Sullivan
Vale, Ore. 97918 Box 250
What really happened
Dear Mr. Editor,
In postscript to the atrocious, conniving and nefarious
article which your paper published last week, I feel
compelled to come forth and admit the heroism reported.
However, I must correct an error I did not single-handedly
capture the prowler. I must confess that I used both hands.
In addition, I had considerable moral support in the form of
voices which appeared to be emanating from the mailroom.
One authoritative male voice, sounding very much like the
postmaster's, seemed to be saying "step on it." Another,
which I would guess to be that of Flossie Watkins, implored
me to "keep him." The third voice, which I suspect to have
been that of Irene Bonner, could only be interpreted as an
extended Vyike."
Out of this contradiction and confusion I managed to pull
myself together and make the wrong decision. It was wrong
because everytime Anne rubs her arm, which is still sore
from her tetanus shot, she threatens to bite me. I know now
that the right decision would have been to buy a 13 cent stamp
and post the little rascal to your mail box.
Sincerely,
Dennis D. Doherty
Morrow County District
Attorney
Editor's Note: Mr. Doherty displayed a truly Irish outburst
of patriotism in defense of the weak. Since we are sampling
the county with this newspaper, we include the article to
which his letter refers, in its apostolic entirety.
Mrs. Doherty is recovering nicely from her tetanus shot
and the district attorney, to our knowledge, has not been
bitten.
Contrary to rumor, the article printed below was not
written by a drunken reporter. It is substantially true and
will have no comparison to our April Fools issue, which will
cover such subjects as alligators in Morrow County, a 12-foot
snake photographed in a Morrow County farm yard and a
very real, but strange, discovery concerning the possible
eating habits of Big Foot.
District Attorney Dennis
Doherty single-handedly cap
tured a nocturnal prowler in
the U.S. Post Office at
Heppner two weeks ago.
Doherty said he saw the.
kangaroo rat making a run for
it along the floor near the
south wall, north of the FBI
most wanted posters. After
the capture, Doherty turned
the wee creature over to his
wife for safekeeping.
The rat was confined in a
bird cage in the Doherty
vehicle, but escaped in the car
shortly thereafter. In the
midst of a frantic search, the
rat was found back in the cage
eating a piece of cheese, it was
reported.
On its second escape at
tempt. Mrs. Doherty picked
up the little bundle of fur and
was promptly bitten.
She immediately released
the kangaroo rat on its own
recognizance.
"1 thought it was cute,"
Doherty commented. Some
other parties to the event said
they did not share the district
attorney's opinion. "Ug," said
one of the witnesses.
On close questioning, Do
herty claimed that he caught
the kangaroo rat because he
thought it would make a nice
pet for children.
Details of the capture and
subsequent escape remained
sketchy this week. The report
er, who said he wouldn't print
the story, had his fingers
crossed. "You rat," someone
said.
St. Patrick
From slavery to courage
St. Patrick, whose feast day is celebrated on the 17th of
March, is commonly known as the Apostle of the Irish, St.
Patrick was born at Dunbarton in Scotland about 382 A.D.
As a youth, he was brought to Ireland as a slave. After a
few years, he escaped and went back to his own people.
He was a pious Christian and we are told that in repeated
visions he heard the plaintive cry of the Pagan Irish inviting
him to come back amongst them.
Believing he was called by God, he entered the monastery
of St. Martin of Tours in France to study for the Priesthood.
He was ordained in Rome and was afterwards consecrated a
bishop and was sent by Pope Celestine to Ireland where he
arrived in 432 A.D.
St. Patrick stands revealed as a man of piety. History tells
us of his zeal, his spirit of prayer, his invincible courage and,
above all, his confidence in Almighty God.
He was in a pagan territory and he knew he had to convert
the leading men, knowing that the people would follow them.
Wonderful was his labor and wonderful its results.
He preached in every part of Ireland, confounded in
argument the Druids, who were the leaders of a pagan
religion, and won the people away from their pagan customs
and beliefs. One of the apostle's first anxieties was to provide
a native ministry. He selected the leading men of the
country, ard after a rather short course in the Christian
religion, he ordained many. He became famous all over the
small country.
It is said he built over 400 churches and consecrated many
bishops before his death about 470, and left the whole
machinery of a vital, active church.
After his death, the Christian religion kept growing, many
colleges and, monasteries were built, and in a remarkably
short time, Ireland was sending scholars and missionaries all
over the known world.
The country that was pagan when Patrick came amongst
them became the center of Christianity and learning and was
renowned for so many famous scholars and poets. .
By Father John O'Brien
The story of Israel from
ancient to modern times will
be told in a one-hour color
motion picture to be shown at
7 p.m. Sunday, Mar. 20, at the
Christian Life Center in Hep
pner. The film, entitled "His
Land," is narrated in words
and song by Cliff Barrows and
Cliff Richard backed by Ralph
Carmichael, who composed
and arranged the musical
score.
The film covers key loca
tions in both ancient and
modern Israel, including his
toric points in the life of Jesus
and the Jewish prophets.
There is no admission
charge and the public is
invited to view the film.
The Christian Life Center is
located at the corner of Willow
and Gale Streets in Heppner,
across from City Hall.
School
board
meeting set
The regular March meeting
of the Morrow County School
District board will be held at
the district office in Lexington
on Monday, Mar. 21, at 8 p.m.
The board will consider the
negotiated agreements for
both classified and certifi
cated employees. These
agreements have been final
ized pending the development
of the final contract language.
In a series of items related
to interschool athletics, the
board will consider a proposed
policy for athletic partici
pation, a resolution to par
ticipate in Oregon School
Athletic Association athletic
activities and a request from
Heppner High School for an
overnight baseball trip.
In other matters, the board
is expected to consider clari
fication of the term of office
for advisory committee mem
bers, resignation of employ
ees, and an application for
Title I funds.
Rodeo board plans dance
The Morrow County Rodeo
Board has several new mem
bers and officers following
recent elections. Bob Mahon
ey is newly elected chairman
and Bob Montgomery vice
New deadlines set
Deadlines
Effective this week, the following deadlines will be
observed by the Gazette-Times.
Friday Noon Standing columns, engagements and all
other news having no time factor. Also all general news copy,
items or articles concerning events which happen from
Tuesday evening through Thursday night.
Monday Noon All general news copy, items or articles
concerning events which happen Friday through Sunday
night.
Monday 5 p.m. Deadline for all display advertising.
Tuesday Noon AH legals, classified ads, classified display
and cards of thanks.
Rates
A rate increase in display advertising is in effect at the
Gazette-Times this month. The 10 per cent increase amounts
to a basic charge of $1.55 cents per column inch.
The last rate increase for the Gazette-Times was two years
ago.
Classified rates remain unchanged at 15 cents per word
and $1.50 minimum. A classified ad run for four consecutive
weeks is charged at 10 cents per word with $1.00 minimum
per insertion.
THE W Jm$
HEFPNEH
GAZETTE-TIMES
Published every Thursday and entered as a
second-class matter at the post office at Heppner,
Oregon, under the act of March 3, 1879. Second-class
postage paid at Heppner, Oregon.
Wil C. Phinney,
Advertising Manager Jhe officia newSpaPer of the City- -
of Heppner and the County of
Morrow. -
Tom Franks,
Editor
G.M. Reed. Publisher
Dolores Reed, Co-publisher
Gazette-Times
theft reported
An estimated 18 copies of
the Gazette-Times were stolen
from the Heppner Hotel Wed
nesday night, Mar. 2.
Myron Johnson, night clerk,
said the papers were ap
parently taken from the hotel
desk during his brief absence
from the lobby. Johnson said
he left the lobby for the
bathroom and when he return
ed, the papers were gone.
i if " ' FT
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Fresh
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Oranges Lg.
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Prices effective Fri., Sot., March 18, 19
Your BankAmericard & Master
Charge welcome here.
L,'jiiis
chairman.
The board has a new mem
ber, Max Wellberg, of Irrigon.
The composition of the re
mainder of the board remains
unchanged. The remaining
members are Heppner area
residents Leland Ansotegui,
Lyle Lowe, John Gochnauer,
and Dennis Doherty, secre
tary. The board has announced
that a Fair Rodeo kick off
dance will be held Saturday,
Mar. 19, at the Fair Pavilion in
Heppner.
The dance will be held from
9:30 p.m. until 1:30 a.m., with
music by Depot II. Admission
charge is $2.50 per person.
Wheathearts
ag day plans
"Almost Everything Starts
on a Farm" is the theme for
the 1977 American Agriculture
Day being celebrated Mar. 21.
Honorary Chairman of Agri
culture Day 77 is actor John
Wayne, who says, in Ag Day
messages recorded for tele
vision and radio, "For at least
one day a year, don't cuss the
farmer appreciate him!"
In observance of American
Agriculture Day, the wives of
Morrow County wheat grow
ers will be serving 1977 wheat
contest cake to persons at
tending the Mar.f meeting of
the Heppner Chamber of
Commerce. The Chamber
meets at noon at West of
Willow restaurant.
71 T
Quantity & Quality
guaranteed.
Personally supervised by J.R.
"I guarantee it."
Open everyday
at 8 am
for breakfast
Saturday
Live Music Lew Neeves
& the Basics
from Umatilla (Country Western
Breakfast Bar
Breakfast Menu-
Eggs-any style ham,
bacon, or steak, hash
browns, toast
L with ham or bacon $2.50
with steak $3.00
For pizza to go,
call 676-5551
For sandwiches to go,
call 676-5149
$2.50
Pears
Plums
Grapes
Peaches
Mandarin oranges
Filled blueberry hotcakes
Filled apple hotcakes
Link sausage
Package orders to go
as always
0 Seafood
O Steak
o Pizza
Sunday
Luncheon Buffet 12-4
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