Page 2, THE GAZETTE-TIMES, Heppner, Ore., Thursday, Feb. 6, 1975
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Horse sense rk
ERESTV. JOINER
February marks the advent of the Silly Season, so here's
the scoop on how things were, are, and will be. The post office
- was open Monday. Feb. 3, for Lincoln's Birthday, but will be
, closed on Monday, Feb. 17, in observance of Washington's
Birthday. The reason the post office was open Feb. 3 is not
because Feb. 12 is actually Lincoln's Birthday, but because
Ijncoln was a Republican and freed the slaves. Washington,
as any schoolboy should know, w as born on Feb. 22. But no
2 schoolboy could understand why Washington's Birthday is
I being observed on Feb. 17. On the other hand, the courthouse
offices w ill be closed on both days, Feb. 3 and Feb. 17, which
is just as w ell because if Lincoln's Birthday hadn't been Feb.
;! 12. which was celebrated Feb. 3, that day would still be a
holiday because Feb. 2 was Groundhog Day, which means
the following Monday (Feb. 3 would have been a no-work
day anyhow . Oregon state offices observe holidays on both
JNfcb and Feb. 17. but banks will be open both days. The
- reactionary Gazette-Times will celebrate Lincoln's Birthday
, on Lincoln's Birthday (Feb. 12 and Washington's Birthday
on Washington's Birthday i Feb. 22) to enable us to write the
obiiuaries of all those who got killed on the long weekends of
v. Feb 3 and Feb. 17. But we will close Feb. 25. w hich is Purim,
and spend the day fasting. To compensate, we will remain
open the preceding Saturday to make up for the loss of Feb.
, 2Y Some Heppnerites who eschew Lincolnian and
Washingtonian natals. and who have never developed a
V fondness for groundhog, may w ant to reserve their jubilance
for Afro-American History' Week. Feb. 9-15. The importance
of this occasion can best be understood by pointing out that
t whereas both Lincoln's and Washington's contributions to
society are commemoraled only two days each. Feb. 3 and
Feb 12: Feb. 17 and Feb 22. respectively. Afro-American
2 History buffs require a full seven days of dancing in the
streets. Which is something, considering that the earth was
. created in oniy six days. And that's the way it is this
February, except that Leap Year gives it 29. But not this
vear. Happv Valentine's Dav. Feb. 14!
There is evidence that we may again intervene in South
i Vietnam's war. if indeed we ever left there. An aircraft
carrier left for an undisclosed destination a few weeks ago.
Military officials denied it was headed for Vietnam waters.
Sure enough, it turned up there. Herb Caen, columnist for the
San Francisco Chronicle, reported on Jan. 5 that a Pan Am
p,J-i took off from San Francisco that day for the Far East
"with almost every seat taken, mostly by men. a rare thing
since 747s seldom fly full in January. The reason, he said,
was that the men are military pilots representing three U.S.
Squadrons, and were making the trip in civilian clothes by
' official orders Caen added, "this story will be denied by the
military." and the public will not know of the incident. Until
it's tno late, of course. Is it possible that Congress and
President Ford don't know these things are going on w hile
they assure the people that American fighting men will not be
sent back to Vietnam?
A funny thing happened last year in Webster City, Iowa.
The news media agreed not to mention vandalism in that
area for a three-month period after residents pleaded that if
no publicity was given, vandals who had been wrecking the
town would lose interest. During the three-month trial period
no news about vandalism appeared in the media. During this
moratorium, according to police records, there was a 30 per
cent increase in vandalism. There is a lesson here, the same
lesson that always develops when crime and mischief go
unreported to the people. One of the most effective deterrents
to youthful crime is publicity. Scoldings, fines, probation and
rehabilitation programs are seldom as effective as having
the names, addresses, and details of the offenses
published along with the names of the parents. In
Sebastopol. Ca . such practice cut juvenile arrests 50 per cent
the first year. The police chief said the decline was due to two
things: the fury and embarrassment of the parents of the
offenders and the ridicule heaped upon the culprits by their
fellows
9 It isn't good news to hear that a criminal is at large in the
community, but it makes citizens more alert and watchful.
It's bad when there's a mad dog loose in town, but people
deserve to know about it so they can take safeguards. Nobody
likes to hear there's a pet poisoner on a killing spree, but the
new s makes them take better care of their pets. Similarly, if
there is a tire slasher and a gasoline thief at work, every'
resident is better off for being forewarned. All this is part of a
newspaper's business, advising the public of crime and
mischief in order that the public may take steps to protect
itself Apparently, the sheriff of Morrow County disagrees
with this premise He refuses to discuss his cases with
anyone from this newspaper, although he frequently doles
out selected" items to the East Oregonian in Pendleton. By
withholding crime information, the public is being denied an
opportunity to assess how the sheriff's office is being run and
how effective it is. Too. the practice of not revealing the
names and offenses of law violators means that the people
are being denied the right to know who the offenders are. In
short . the offenders are operating under the protective cloak
of the law. You. the citizen, enjoy no such protection in this
county the offender does
Anyone worried about inflation and high prices today
should have been at Fort Union. New Mexico, in 1865 and
Ifififi Ben Moffett. National Park Service, reports that
today's prices are heartening when you consider what they
were wo years ago at Fort Union. A gallon of kerosene cost
S3. 50 a gallon at the army fort, and sugar went for as much as
SI a pound. The old fort sat astride the old Sante Fe Trail, and
was the principal supply depot for most of the Southwest. In
1865. a can of peaches cost $1,50; tea. $3 a pound; coffee,
.Si 25. sardines. 75 cents a can; can of tomatoes. $1.50: and a
cotton handkerchief to wipe aw ay the tears of inflation, $1.
Today's inflation, by contrast, is sheer prosperity when you
consider that the 3 persons employed at Fort Union during
this time received an average monthly wage of $45 $12 a
month for a private! So cheer up. Things have been much
tougher in what we erroneously refer to as "the good old
davs."
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Graves . . .
(Continued from Page I)
dirt roads. Some of them have
patches of paving placed there
bv the Americans during
World War II.
Mrs. Graves showed color
slides of the area she visited
after the ACWW conference
last October.
The slides showed green
trees in full bloom, for
although it was approaching
winter here it was spring in
Australia. "I expected to see
trees such as we have here
with pine trees in abundance,
however, their forests are
mostly varieties of eucalyptus
trees." she reported.
She also mentioned that beef
was selling for 25 cents per
pound and sheep that had sold
for $25 each were selling for
$2 each
IVesidenl Harold Kerr, an
nounced that at the last board
meeting, the board had voted
to raise all chamber member
ships $to per year.
"In Conclusion I Would Like To Say That I Hope My
Experiences Prove To You That Crime Does Not Pay.
(That Will Be $3,500,00, Please.)"
"How romantic ... a heart
shaped pan pic!"
The mail pouch
EDITOR:
As we approach our bicentennial, we are accomplishing
what all the armies of America's enemies have failed to do.
That is to cut us off from our natural resources, destroy our
industrial might and reduce us to a nation of agricultural
peons.
Over -zealous environmentalists are taking care of the first
act Lackluster, fumbling bumbling leaders in our energy
program are handling the second act. The final act will be the
natural result of the first two.
We have in the Western United States the greatest single
deposit of oil this world has ever known. 500 billion barrels.
This single deposit pales the combined oil lakes of the
Mid East, the Alaska north slope plus the oil of South
America. If this source had been developed, there would
hav e been no need to build a 2.000-mile pipe line across the
frozen tundra. There would have been no need to pour our
deleted gold reserves into the over -glutted treasuries of an
anti-American shiekdom. Furthermore, the principal
by-product of this oil reclamation is ammonium sulfate, a
fertilizer so necessary to food producers of this country.
I am refering of course to the 2.000-foot thick shale oil
deposits of the Green River Basin of Colorado and Wyoming.
The government gave several parcels of this land to several
competing oil companies to facilitate the development of
these deposits. That w as like sending the fox to guard the hen
house As long as there is an oil lake that these companies
can push a pipe into and pump it dry. they are not about to
spend their time or money searching for new methods of oil
extraction. They came up with the answer. "It can t be
done."
Remember w hen the only good thing coming out of our
swce program were the laughs the world was getting from
our failures? At that time il was a triple-headed program.
The Army. Navy and Air Force competing, jeolous.
withholding secrets. It was not until after NASA was formed
and was given the power to cut bureaucratic red tape, to
bring the genius of America's engineering might under one -head,
that we were able to achieve our goal in space.
Yes. oil can be extracted from shale. Any high school
chemistry or shop class can do it. In the Green River Valley
there is a 200-year supply of American oil. However, unless
we form an energy commission with the power of NASA to
coordinate the engineering brains of America, we will never '
realize it's benefits.
If this should happen, the torch so proudly held by the lady
on IJbery Island will flicker out. From our dugout canoes, as
we watch the soaring carrion seekers, we will say. "It might
have been."
I've written my congressman today. Have you?
WALT WEBB.
Condon.
EDITOR:
I have just been reading the letter in the Jan. 30
Gazette-Times from Frances Cox Griffin. I went to school
with Frances and would like to get in touch with her. Could
you send me her address in Beaverton? I live in Albany but
have a daughter who lives on Canyon Drive just out of
Beaverton and I go there often.
I was bom and raised in Heppner. My grandparents, John
and Mary Hughes, were among the original Irish settlers and
I was brought up on stories of old Heppner history. My dad
was bom and died in Heppner.
Anyway, would love to talk to Frances, and maybe you
could put me in touch with her. Thank you.
MRS. ELLEN HUGHES BORRALL,
Albany.
( ED. NOTE-Mrs. Griffin's address is 698S S. W. Hall Blvd.,
Beaverton 97005.)
Any left-hander
can be president
There is something sinister
;itxHil President Gerald Ford,
Pictures of Mr Ford signing
legislation disclose that, like
the late President Truman, he
is a sinistral-a left-handed
person
Sinister, the 1-attn word for
Mt. has cast a cloud over
lettie-s fur centuries The Devil
is depicted as left-handed,
while God is synonymous with
right The Gaeiie-Times pub
lisher is left handed, which
should le some consolation to
the IVmI
one Biblical scholar found
the Testaments contain 80
complimentary references to
the right hand and 20 deroga
Irirv allusions to the left
The Italian word for left.
m.iru -inn. also means deceit
ful in Russian, left is nolevo,
wi'h the cmmnl.il ion of being
sneaky In heraldry, the liar
sinister indicates dubious par
etHagc Now psychologists com hide
il all has been a bum rap
I .ell handed individuals not
onlv are no trickier than their
right handed brethren, goes
live new theory. Init frequently
are more creativ e
The doctors cite such ex
amples as leonardo da Vinci.
Michelangelo and Picasso
or did being left-handed
hinder Julius Caesar. Alexan
der the Great. Charlemagne
or lird Nelson
Handedness is believed de
termined by which hemis
phere of the brain is dominant,
the National Geographic So
ciety says With most persons
the left hemisphere, which
governs the right side of the
body, is dominant So the
' majority of the world's popu
lation is right handed
But research indicates that
when the right lobe of the
brain dominates, or when
neither side of the brain
assumes a controlling role, the
individual becomes left-handed.
More than W per cent of
Americans today are left
handed, and psychologists
think the percentage might be
higher if some children
weren't discouraged by (heir
parent from favoring their
left hand
l.cffic have been discrimi
nate against ever since men
began using tools. Surrounded
bv right handed Implements,
led handed people appear
clumsy The French word for
left, gauche, also means
awkward
lew years ago. the author
of "The I j-ft handed Book"
urged his fellow southpaws to
Mipirt a Bill of Ixfts and buy
onl ti ll handed products. In
fact, sinistrals are faring
heller today than ever before,
Manufacturers of left
handed golf, clubs have been
joined bv the makers of
hunting rifles with left-handed
hull actions On household
irons and telephones, cords
that formerly came from the
left side- to stay out of the
right handed user's way now
are placed in the middle.
Some specialty houses dis
tribute left handed catalogs
that oien from left lo right and
list rulers with measurements
starting on the right, sauce
pans with pouring lips on both
sides, measuring cups marked
on both sidi-s. and fountain
pens whose points are sloped
to accomodate left-handed
writers
There are left-handed play
ing cards, fishing reels, base
twill glov es, garden and power
fools, guitars, corkscrews and
can openers Typewriters al
ways have favored the left
hand over the right.
Hut lefties still face right
handed zippers, and to them
the layout of pay telephone
booth poses a special chal
lenge The phone directories
and parcel shelves always are
on the wrong side.
THE GAZETTE-TIMES
' V4, Pit f
MORROW COUNTY'S NEWSPAPER
Box 337, Heppner, Ore. 97838
Subscript ion rate: $6 per year in
' Oregon, $7 elsewhere
Ernest V. Joiner, Publisher
p Published every Thursday and entered as s
y- second-class matter at the post office at
Heppner, Oregon, under the act of March 3, 1879.
:: Second-class postage paid at Heppner, Oregon.
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'This Economic Situation Is Starting
To Bother Me. We Could Lose
Our Identity!"
Mayor of Hardman
DEAR MISTER EDITOR:
Trust the wimmen to straighten oul this country. Here we
are in the dead of winter, and we got so many troubles I doubt
if Ihe ground hog got up the nerve lo even check the weather.
He probable figgered he'd be belter off In his hole come rain
or shine. This country's policies are rattling around like a
penntil in a gourd, but Ihe wimmen is gifting us back to basic
Bug Hooktim reported at the country store Saturday night
Ihnt he had saw where a woman has filed suit In federal court
to do away with pay toilets at all public places that deal In
interstate travel, like airports.
Her reasoning was Ihe kind of common sense we need to git
us thinking straight. She said if Ihe Good I-ord had wanted us
to have pay toilets, we all would have been born with exact
change.
And Bug said he saw where a member of the legislature in
North Carolina had Introduced a "public relief law" to
outlaw pav toilets in thai hole slate.
Between Ihe pay toilets and gilting Ihe Supreme Court lo
order the Little League lo let girls play, we re going to git the
eountrv moving in shorl order, Bug allowed.
General speaking. Washhouse Weatherford agreed, you
can alius depend on this country lo make Ihe right move at
the wrong time and viser verser. Bill had saw where a
Philadelphia nightclub owner was fined $300 fer advertising
fer "beautiful girls only" to work in his place. He had lo
change his ad lo read "beautiful wimmen and men," and it
was left up to the reader to figger oul If ugly men and
wimmen could sue for discrimination together or seperate.
Actual. Bug said, ever lime a court rules on anil somepun il
... n. . a- ......... .ai...
uh naiin u.n' iu . ' ....... ,..- " - " - - - - s - -
nn lui kiie Ika rill 111 not In hal'O riuiirpl Slttoke bloWed in hil "
nice irum MMiir ni urvn nun mv
cause he eats garlic, and Ihe welfare folks say he smells bad ,
on purpose so nobody will hire him.
Pritty soon, Bug said, he's looking fer a Guvernment ruling
lhat anybody traveling acrost slate lines has got lo gargle,
spray under 'his arms and wear shoes or be held In violation
of federal anti stink laws.
Next, we'll git lofat folks lhat lake up to much room on the
bus, and after that we'll have to control crying babies and
dandcrf so's nol lo offend anybody.
Ed Gonly reminded the fellers thai Feberary has the
birthdays of Abe Lincoln and George Washington, and Ed
said he wondered what them two would think about some of
Ihe business that lakes up Guvernment s tune these days
Fer sure, allowed Ed. they would be surprised lo see thai a
country they helped build could be moving so fast without
knowing where it was going
About the only time we slow down is to see how clout the
Russians are behind us. was Ed's words, and lo check on how
many w ays the two countries have figgered out to blow each
other up the quickest.
Yours Iruix
MAYOR ROY.
How to
overwhelm a
0 Presbyterian
By LESTER KIVSOt.VING
Once a year a group dynamics marvel lor horror,
depending on one's point of view I is staged by leaders of Ihe
United Presbyterian Church,
The vital necessity of this annual national gathering was
explained recently by Ihe retiring moderator of this evenl
which is called Ihe General Assembly:
"A General Assembly is almost consistently more liberal
than the constituency." declared the Rev. Clinton Marsh.
' To understand this, one must watch the dynamics of a
General Assembly. I've watched commissioners (delegates!
almost have to lake their left arm and push their right arm
up to vote, because they were going so contrary to the
baggage they brought with them."
Just what is it that accounts for all this strenuous
arm pushing which is so contrary lo the "baggage" (which
baggage includes, presumably, the hopes of Ihe people these
commissioners were elected to represent)?
Explained Dr. Marsh: "After some of these people have
wrestled through the dynamics of Ihe Assembly, they will
have heard the issues put in a broader perspective . . . people
who hadn't, you know, read anything but Mr. Kmsolving's
sort of stuff back home, would now come here, and gel a
chance to see and hear these issues put in a broader
perspective, thai they're people who would vote more
liberally than when they left home."
tDr Marsh was not exclusively anii Kinsolving's sort-of-stuff.
For he also angrily charged lhat "Presbyterians have
made Reader's Digest your Bible-despile its vicious lies
about the World Council of Churches!" Time magazine fared
no better than Kinsolving and the Reader's Digest, for,
according lo Dr. Marsh. Ihe famed weekly newsmagazine
had covered a previous Assembly in a manner "so wrong
thai it appeared thai the reporter had not even been there!"
What antidotes does the Presbyterian high command have
lo counteract such reportorial villainy?
Well, almost any ecclesiastical power structure has not
only the distinct advantage of Incumbency, but an aura
which seems to impress many of the devoutly susceptible
with the idea that the speaker's platform is a modern Mount
Sinai, with the assembled leaders thereupon speaking for the
Almighty-directly and Invariably their manuscripts all
having been composed by fiery fingers.
This awe-inspiring impression is Implemented by paper in
the distribution to each and every commissioner of no less
than 2.245 pages of reports (an estimated one million words)
of required reading.
If after this deluge any commissioner is still at all
rebellious, he Is usually mashed by the parliamentary genius
of the Assembly's stated Clerk, a Kansas attorney named
William P. ("The Wizard of Wichita") Thompson.
The Presbyterian power structure is therefore able, year
after year, to go right on winning Assemblies while, across
the nation, continuing to lose the war. For example:
-In 1971 this seventh largest denomination in the U. S. lost
more than 100.000 members and began a downward slide in
financial income which reduced the national budget 25 per
cent.
-In 1973, the headquarters power structure spent $6
million more than It received In Income, and met the
resulting deficit by using the denomination's financial
reserves. (In 10 years, $40 million in reserves has been cut in
half with $32 million worth of commitments and mortgage
guarantees made despite the reserve balance of only $20
million.)
-This September, 41 national headquarters staffers were
terminated as a result of the financial catastrophe, which
also brought a reduction in the $150,000 designated for
scholarships for clergy children (down to $45,000) and
minority groups (cut one half, down to $28,000).
There was no reported cut In the $37,500 salary of the
"Wizard of Wichita" who has led the denomination through
all those disastrous years (including the tecret Presbyterian
donation of $10,000 to the Angela Davis Defense Fund. Dr.
Marsh, has also been provided for, with a new Presbyterian
job in Atlanta.