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l ERNEST V. JOINER (
Happy New Year to our alphabetical overseers, the FBI,
CIA, ILO, GPU, VA, OHD, SS, EQC, DEQ, BPA. DC, HUD,
HEW. BLS. AEC, CAB, EPA, FCA. FCC. FMC. FPC, FTC,
ICC. SEC, USDA, FDA, OSHA, ACA, CIO-AFL, NMU and the
CPUSA without whom life could be less complicated . . .
And to the OAA, APTD. AB. SSI, FAP, AFDC, PHS,
UNICEF, EEC, IMF, FHA, FRA, DOT, ECOSOC, CLC.
WPI.. OEC, AIM, NASA, EPO, ICCS, GAD, LCDC, AND
ETC.all of which proves that if we only learn the alphabet,
who needs to read?
Happy New Year to Elizabeth Holtzman (D, NY), one of
the axe-wielding woman libbers, who plans to change her
name to Ms. Holtzperson . . . Happy New Year to Secretary of
State Henry Kissenger, who is expected to pay a visit to the
United States in 197S; to the Heppner Mustangs who will win
the C B Conference again, face Pine Eagle again in the
quarterfinals, and break the jinx by winning; to President
Ford and Vice-President Rockefeller, both holding offices to
which they were not elected, thus proving elections aren't
necessary to provide us with rulers; to Ford, General
Motors. Chrysler and American Motors the "four on the
floor" fellows: to Lever Bros, for inventing a new scent that
is driving teenagers out of their minds it's called Clean.
9 I have had a real education this past year, and I wouldn't
have missed it. For the first time we have a president and
vice-president, neither of whom were elected by the people.
If we can survive this we might want to think about
abolishing elections all together. Which would save a lot of
money and result in our getting the same people to lead us as
we'd elect in the first place . . . And then there is Carla
Schwenk, 9, of Astoria, who is suing the Boy Scouts because
she can't join. I am quite sure the courts will allow little
Carla to join the Boy Scouts, and she's going to have one hell
of a time on those overnight camping trips into the
mountains. I predict a jump in Boy Scout enrollment when it
becomes permissible for girls to join in all that fun. It should
beat sex education in the schools, what with having this great
and w holesome outdoor laboratory to play around in! . . . And
up in New Milford. Conn., two Baptist ministers are
threatening to sue the schools because state officials require
6th grade boys to attend cooking classes. The ministers claim
it tends to make homosexuals of the boys! ... I want a
Congressional Medal of Honor struck for Dan Cassin of
Atlanta. When two holdup men came into his grocery store
and started shooting and beating up on people, he pulled his
.38 pistol and killed one of the punks and wounded the other.
But the way things are these days. Cassin is likely to go to
prison for murder and his store given to the surviving robber
as compensation for an "unprovoked attack." . . . Beginning
in January, the federal debt will pass the $500,000,000,000
(looks more grim than just writing $500 billion, doesn't it?)
and the taxpayers will be paying $1,000 a second just to pay
the interest on it. It's worth sticking around another year just
to see how bankrupt a government can get before the
taxpayers foreclose on it!
Heppner's holiday home decorations were outstanding,
considering the suggested curtailment of energy use. It was a
pleasure to drive through the streets at night. Other cities
and towns didn't do so well in this department. Down in
Reedley. California, Candy Cane Lane has always been a
showplace at Christmas. Residents of a certain area
cooperated to provide brilliantly decorated trees and huge
lighted Candy Canes. It drew visitors from a wide area every
year. But for the past two Christmases there has been no
Candy Cane Lane. Thieves moved in to steal the colored
bulbs and even the candy canes, and many of the outdoor
painted scenes were destroyed by vandals. Residents along
Candy Cane Lane had to give up. Those who persisted in
decorating their homes for Christmas had to string their
lights high around the eaves of their homes, above the reach
of petty thieves and vandals. There have been similar
incidents reported in the press around the country. May it
never happen in Heppner.
0 Who says there isn't much going on in local police
circles? Well, the constabulary hasn't nabbed any of the 10
Most Wanted Persons during the past annum, but they have
contributed law and order locally and some amusement.
Officer Dave Panter insured himself a cold Christmas when,
just a few days before the festive occasion, he gave his wife a
ticket for making an illegal turn. If you think it has been cold
in Heppner, what about the meals Dave must have been
getting at home since then? Then Chief Gilman got his
Christmas party at the Wagon Wheel. The waitresses have
noted all year the chief's habit of taking paper napkins and
rolling them into long ropes, leaving them to be cleaned up.
For Christmas he got a gaily decorated box when he gathered
with friends around the restaurant's "round table." Inside
were all the beautifully roped paper napkins he had
fashioned the past year! And Friday Officer Chuck Holt
stopped in front of Heppner Cleaners and left the engine of his
car running while he did an errand. On return he found he
had followed his own advice and locked the car doors. The
engine continued to purr until he could And another set of
keys to unlock the car. Then he drove off, red-faced.
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THE GAZETTE-TIMES
MORROW COUNTY'S NEWSPAPER
Box 337, Heppner, Ore. 97836
Subscription rate: $6 per year in
Oregon, $7 elsewhere
Ernest V. Joiner, Publisher
Published every Thursday and entered as a
second-class matter at the post office at
Heppner, Oregon, under the act of March 3, 1879.
Second-class postage paid at Heppner, Oregon.
K X
the SOVEREIGN STATE of AFFAIRS
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Oregon Coratry The mail pouch
Oregon' weekly column"
Rick Steber
Kristi Ottoman
EDITOR:
In regard to your story of "how it happened" at the
basket ball game between lone and Heppner. It makes a good
space filler when you have nothing else to print.
I'm sorry, Mr. Editor, but the way I saw it and the way the
video recorder has it your little story just isn't "the way it
happened."
P S. Congratulations to Heppner High School for winning a
sportsmanship trophy!
Heppner, Ore., Gazette-Times, Thursday, Jan. 2, 1975
Mayor of Hardman
DEAR MISTER EDITOR: ;,
The fellers seemed special happy to git to the country store
Saturday night, and I don't think It wis all because most of
em had family around the house that they'd enjoyed about as
long as they could. I figger some of em was glad of the chanct
to git out of the kitchen where they been stuffing til week.
Then to, Ed Gonty was showing off the new chain fer his
pocket watch , and Bug Hookum was sporting a hand painted
necktie with his checkered flannel shirt, and they weren't no
doubt in the world about them two Items being Christmas
gifts.
Ed was tickled with his new chain. He said his daughter
that lives in the city found it at a anteek sale, but It is brand
new. Bug said his old lady give him the necktie that was
made by young people In the church, Bug said he was
practicing wearing the tie so he wouldn't choke so bad when
he had to wear it to church so other wimmen could see his old '
lady was supporting the church young people.
Actual, Ed and Bug and the rest of the fellers held up real
good through Christmas, and they all was thankful to enjoy,
another Christmas season and be ready to see another year
come in. "
Thinking about the New Year, Ed told the fellers he was
mixed up about the sale of gold being legal agin at the end of
December. Ed said back when we had gold money he kept a
$5 gold piece In a sock under his mattress, and he figured as
long as he had that pelce his Pa had give him he wouldn't be
broke. Under this new deal. Ed allowed, we got to use paper
to buy gold and the gold ain't good fer nothing. You can't
spent it, and it won't draw no Interest in the bank, Ed said.
The only Ihing you can do is keep it and hope you can sell it
fer more paper than you paid fer It.
Isaac Cornfodder. that does a heap more listening than
talking at our sessions, spoke up to say he was glad Ed
mentioned the new open market fer gold. Isaac said he don't
know nothing about finances and less about stocks and he gits
what he don't know mixed up.
But Isaac was worred on account the Guvernment was
selling the gold that he thought was behind our paper money.
Deficit spending, he said, was spending what you ain't got,
and now the money we got won't be backed up by nothing.
On top of that, he declared, from what he can find out they
won't much gold be changing hands anyhow, The big broker
houses will deal In gold like they do in stocks, and folks with
money will be buying and selling gold they won't ever see.
The gold rush of 75 will be mostly paper shuffling.
General speaking, Mister Editor, the fellers ain't what you
say up on the money market, and ain't none of em suffering
gold fever. But it was Bill Weatherford that allowed you can
bet folks is setting up nights right now figgering ways to turn
a paper buck in the gold business. Fer Instant, he said,
drunks that sell their blood fer booze money now will
peddling their fillings.
Yours truly,
MAYOR ROY.
A new Billy as
White House
chaplain
By LESTER KINSOLVING
LINDSAY KINCAID.
lone.
Silas Christofferson was Oregon's original aviator an
Edison of the air, a daring flier, an airplane builder and a
man of vision.
It was Silas Christofferson of Portland's East Side who
built the Northwest's first flying machine, a boat with wings.
And he took great delight in leapfrogging up the Willamette
River, flying under one bridge and over the next while every
eye in Portland watched.
Silas ended up with a lot of firsts. He was first to build an
airplane with an enclosed fuselage and a motor that pulled,'
instead of pushed, its way through the air. He established a
world altitude record of 20,000 feet on a flight over Mt.
Whitney and the world distance record of 302 miles along the
Chapi Range from San Francisco to Los Angeles.
Perhaps the most remarkable event of Silas Christoffer
son's colorful life occured during the 1912 Portland Rose
Festival. Festival officials had offered him $1,200 if he could
fly his home-made aircraft off the top of the 10-story
Multnomah Hotel, and he had quickly accepted.
Asked why he was willing to attempt such a feat, Silas .
replied, "This is an age of doing things first. Be original.
Don't copy. That is the only reason I am making the flight. It
will be the first in the history of aviation. I am not unaware
ol tne danger, Dut 1 nave every confidence in myself."
The first days of June found Silas building a raised deck on
the roof of the hotel. Made out of overlapping fir boards, the '
deck was scarcely 20 feet wide and only 150 feet long.
At last the day of the event June 11, 1912 arrived. The
clouds that threatened rain weren't even noticed by the
estimated crowd of 45,000 who stood shoulder to shoulder for
blocks around the hotel. Others perched on nearby rooftops
or hung precariously from windows and fire escapes. Each
craned his neck to catch a glimpse of the birdman.
As the moment arrived, Silas went around and shook hands
with a few of his closest friends. Then he settled himself in
front of the engine and nodded his head to have the propeller
spun. The Curtiss Rheims motor sputtered to life. He allowed
the engine sufficient time to warm up, warped the wings to
make sure all was well, and then he released the brake.
The clumpsy wooden craft shot forward, the 40-horsepower
engine pushing it towards whatever its fate be, only 159 feet
away. The boards of the decking slapped together as the
weight of the plane passed over them. And, then, 30 feet from
the end of the runway, Silas laid back and tilted the front
wing plane. He had reached the "jumping off place" where
either a flight or fatality had to occur.
The tricycle wheels of the little craft were three feet above
' the runway when it skimmed over the Pine Street side of the
hotel. The crowd gave a tremendous roar and 12 minutes!
later Oregon's original aviator landed safely on the polo
grounds at the Vancouver Barracks.
B0Y0 and WOOD
EDITOR:
I wish to take this means of showing my appreciation for
the wonderful Christmas I had.
It's hard for me to write so I am using your paper as a
means of letting everyone know how much I appreciate
everything I received, and I know all of us in the nursing
home feel the same. God bless everyone,
MRS. LEONA SMALLWOOD.
Pioneer Mem. Nursing Home.
31fca
"Why Not Just Take Another Shot
At Your Last Year's Resolutions?"
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Hilly Graham, who has been invited to the White House by
every president since Harry Truman, has not been invited by
President Ford.
The world famous evangelist has not been Invited to Sao
Clementc, either, even when his "long time friend" was
dangerously ill. Billy was able to talk to Mrs. Nixon by phone
while conducting a crusade in Norfolk. But there have been
no invitations to visit, or to conduct any house services, in the
ex-Western White House.
Billy Graham has apparently been replaced as the
unofficial White House chaplain-by another Billy.
The Rev. Billy Zeoli of the Independent Presbyterian
Church is vice-president of Gospel Films, Inc., of Muskegon,
Mich, He recently spent four days with the Fords; and
conducted prayers in Mrs. Ford's hospital room Just prior to
her operation.
Every Monday morning a Zeoli prayer memorandum,
entitled "God's Got a Better Idea," is placed on the
presidential desk in the Oval Office. Mr, Ford, who first met
Zeoli at a Congressional prayer breakfast, Introduced him to
the House of Representatives as "a religious leader of
tremendous influence."
This introduction was in one sense literal. For Zeoli had
already begun attracting national attention as a pioneer
parson to tremendous people In the National Football
league.
Zeoli, a former leader of the Youth for Christ of
Indianapolis and graduate of Philadelphia College of the
Bible and Wheaton College in Illinois, was one of the first of t
growing number of official or unofficial team chaplains.
A widely circulated photograph shows him standing at the
blackboard instructing Dallas Cowboy Star Roger Staubach
and Coach Tom Landry in what Zeoli points to as "God's
Game Plan."
The effect of this "relevant" terminology In the expanding
theology of perspiration can be seen In other football
evangelists. For example, there is Norm Evans, lineman for
the Miami Dolphins and author of the book, "On God's
Squad." One excerpt from this book is of particular note to
those who regret the absence of any bona fide description ol
what Jesus Christ actually looked like:
"If He (Jesus) were alive today," writes Evans, "I would
picture a six-foot, six inch, 280 pound defensive tackle, who
would always make the big plays and who would be hard to
keep out of the backficld for offensive lineman like myself
... I have no doubt he could play in the National Football
League. This game is 90 per cent desire, and his desire was
perhaps his greatest attribute. Yes, he would make it with
the Miami Dolphins today and He would be a star in this
league,"
Whether or not President Ford has ever been led to
contemplate such a colossal Christ is not known. ' n
But former pro Peter Gent, in his novel Dallas NorOf Forty,
has drawn a poignant picture of religious foothill In his
locker room prayer scene (which could be even more
electrifying by attaching Norm Evana' concept W The Lord
in The Line):
". . .the kingdom and the power and the glory; forever and
ever, Aaaamen." ;
The supplicants rose to their feet and brok into long
animal roar, preparing for battle as the Monslgnor had so
eloquently put it.
"Let's kill those. . .1" Tony Douglas screamed, leaping off ,
! his knee.
In western Finland, some peopls belle there Is a petsoa In
the woods who's a beautiful, and well-dressed woman in
front, but a tree stump behind I