Heppner. Ore.. Gatte-rime, Thursday, Feb. 7. W4
Page 2
Catholic
Horse sense
OK for
'Exorcist'
i
Si ERNEST V. JOINER
IB
ft:
BY
LESTER KINSOLVING
i
cm
to
I
('February is a busy month. Feb. 22 is George
Washington's Birthday, which is celebrated Feb. 18 so union
members can have a three-day holiday. (Do you realize that
if George Washington were alive today, walking around
Portland in his powdered wig and white stretch pants, he'd be
arrested for impersonating a woman?) Feb. 12 is Abraham
Lincoln's Birthday; which, strangely enough, the unions
aren't celebrating on Feb. 11 so thev can have a three-day
holiday. (Do you realize that if Lincoln were alive today he'd
be eight score and six years old?) Scottish folk have just
celebrated Candlemas on Feb. 2, which coincides with
Ground Hog Day. We also have to sandwich into this month
FFA Week, Boy Scout Month, Thomas Edison's Birthday,
National Frankfurter Week. Annual Book Week. Susan B.
Anthony Day and St. Valentine's Day.
Valentine's Day is second only to Christmas in the
number of greeting cards sent. It is also second to Christmas
in the amount of money spent for gifts, something few retail
merchants seem to realize. In London a couple of years ago I
visited the Tower of London where the first amorous
message, a rhymed love poem, was sent as a valentine by
Charles Due D'Orleans to his wife while he was imprisoned
after the battle of Agincourt in 1945. Valentines got popular in
America about 1723, and the first commercial valentines
appeared about 1800. Like a lot of our modern institutions,
-Valentine's Day dates back to the pagans. In ancient Rome it
was a pastoral holiday in February when the names of young
girls were put into a box and drawn out by youths. Whoever
got who were partners for the whole year. Then the
Christians came along and spoiled the fun by substituting the
names of saints for the girls, and the boys who drew the name
then had to emulate the pious life of that particular saint. In
the 14th Century love triumphed over piety, and St. Valen
tine's Day was "a boy-girl project again.
; A lot of people in Eastern Oregon listen to the Jim Eason
Show on KGO Radio. San Francisco, to boast their cultural
level and expand their knowledge. Of course, he boosts his
cultural level and
Beard
with Eason
I ravings to my audience ... I plug your paper . . ." He
enclosed this photo of his bearded self at the mike. Dammit,
s Jim, I never said a goat doesn't possess wisdon and
J self-esteem! Will making you an Honorary Commander in
I Morrow Co.'s Fightin' Amphibian Navy get us off the hook?
t
J In the So-What-Else-Is-New-Department: The U.S.
Bureau of Mines is planning a $2 million experimental plant
", at Albany. Ore., to make oil and gasoline from wood chips. It
J is planned to process wood into six barrels of fuel oil a day to
i be refined into gasoline and other petroleum products. So be
kind to Kinzua Corporation. It may be filling your gas tank
one of these days. What's not new about this item is that
f During World War II more than a million automobiles around
i the world used wood gas to replace gasoline. So what's to
; research? And what's to research about those experimental
i windmills for energy production the government is putting
! up along the Columbia Gorge? As far back as the 1930s the
; prairies of the Mid- and Southwest were dotted with
! windmills with electric generators that furnished power for
? farm and home use. And how's the Oregon research coming
along on liquified gas for automobiles, especially in view of
the fact that farmers and ranchers in West Texas started
i using propane and similar liquified gases on their pickups
and passengers cars about 40 years ago-and still are? And
S while environmentalists gathered at the wailing wall over
f devastation of our forests by greedy timber interests, why is
i it that there are today more trees growing in the South's 198
1 million acres of forests than at any time since the 1930s?
1 A cliche among the young is that when they speak out
nobody listens to them. That supposedly, is very bad for
everybody. Of course, it could be argued that what the young
are speaking out on isn't worth listening to. To accept, and
act upon what isn't worth listening to, is to invite disaster.
But the young can take heart, for they have a lot of company.
God speaks out clearly and forcefully, and the number of
earthlings who pay attention are remarkably few. President
Nixon speaks out, and you have a fair knowledge of the
number of people who pay attention to what he says,
Democrat or Republican. History speaks eloquently of the
entire human experience, but so few harken to its message
even though they admit the valuable lessons of history. I
speak out, and you know nobody listens to me! Welcome to
the great Fraternity of the Deaf, 0 you of tender years! You
are not alone in that nobody listens to you, or takes you
seriously.
Note to relaxed conservationists: To save fuel, don't use
your power mower. Call up Euell Gibbons and he'll come
over and eat his way across your lawn.
THE &
GAZETTE-TIMES
MORROW COUNTY'S NEWSPAPER &
w.Hwuir. Oft, mu. Ttt. ut-ra
"iiyw dwt warn it pwiua, owi let ii iww"
The Heppner Oaiette hs established Mvdi . IM3. The Heppner
Times was established Nov. 1. 117. The two were consorted :j
fo. . 112
Member: National Newspaper Assn.. Oregon Newspaper Publishers
Assn.
Ernest V. Jomer
Ernie Ceresa . .
Ann Toner . . .
Marcia Beoortha
Phil Stranovotd
Peggy Taylor
SUBSCRIPTION RATES: 5 per rear in
Copy. cents Mailed swgle copy.
accepted lor ess than one year-
The Gaete Tunes assumes iww...ct-.-."f .v
.ertisements. " mm. however, reprint without charge or cancel the
charge tor me portion of an advertisement which is error H The
Gaietie Times is tautt. J
expands his
knowledge by
reading the Gazette-Times.
This
week he took
umbrage at a re
cent Horse Sense
quip, "If your
'hair-rising' son
reminds you that
wearing a beard
denotes wisdon
and self-esteem,
invite him to have
a good look at the
next goat he
meets." "What,"
Jim bristles by
return mail, "did
I do wrong to
make you so an
gry? I read your
Publisher .
Photography and Sports
Oece Manager
.Advertismg. Features A;
. . . Shop Foreman
Operator. Grcuiaton
Oregon. U elsewhere Sgte
25 cents. No subscriphen
A;
mm k .! r
Efficient
(ED. NOTE: Pat Michaels
used to write feature stories
for theSebastopol (Ca.l Times
when I published it. He has
blown the lids off government
chicanery before. Rut this, I
believe, reveals a criminal
conspiracy between govern
ment and the oil and automo
bile industries to bilk the
people while depleting energy
resources on hand and con
tribution to air pollution on the
other.)
By PAT MICHAELS
Capitol News Service
SACRAMENTO - If the
State of California would let
you, you could travel to a
small machine shop in Tor
rance which is frequented by
race car drivers. There, you
could have all your current
smog devices removed and a
simple $50 carburetor in
stalled. As you drove away, you
would have a car that meets
the 1975 auto emission stan
dards - you wouldn't be
producing any smog at all. j
And, in addition, you'd double, ,
Mayor of Hardman
DEAR MISTER EDITOR:
The fellers studied the situation up and down at the country
store Saturday night, after voting to let Sheriff John skipper
the Morrow Co. navy down the river at join up with McCall's
Navy for war manoovers.
The fellers was of a mind that if it weren't fer the energy
crisis this country would be suffering a news crisis.
Clem Webster said he has read everything from how much
gas Pres. Nixon's lawnmowers burn to how a fireplace can.
heal a hole house on a quarter of a cord of wood a day.
Clem allowed, personal, that he gits to wondering about all
the news that use to happen that must of quit happening. Fer
instant, Clem said, they was a run on heart transplants afore
we started running out of everything, but from reading the
papers you'd think the energy shortage has closed up the
hospitals.
Ed Doolittle was half agreed with Clem, for a change. Ed
said even his farm journals was full of warnings about what
is in short supply and what's going to be, and they ain't said a
word about Senator Kennedy pushing a deal to send our rice
to Loas, where the only thing they got plenty of is rice. Ed
said his U.S. Dept. of Agriculture pamphlets now is telling
him how to conserve fertilizer instead of how to increase
perduction by using more of it. ,
Which is where Ed Gonty, known in the county seat as the
Terror of Willow Crick, come in and said he had saw where
some outfit is coming out with a new tractor thats got no seat
and no steering wheel. Its fer the farmer whose lost his rear
end and don't know which way he is going. Ed's mind strays a
bit at times.
Ignoring Gonty, Ed said the news is what the papers makes
news. The Rusians has still got atomic submarines, and the
Chinese is still testing nuclear bombs, Ed Doolittle allowed,
but they just ain't news right now. The closest thing he has
saw to what use to be news was a piece about how the Cubans
is getting friendlier as they git hungrier.
Actual, broke in Zeke Grubb, with the war on poverty won
by poverty and the Watergate war winding down fer want of
somepun new to say fer the television, about the most
pressing business facing Americans right now is their gas
gages and thermostats. With perdictions of $1 a loaf of bread
by summer, and no gas to run the rigs that harvest the wheat,
it ain't no wonder shortage of fuel and everything else makes
headlines ever day, was Zeke's words.
Bill Weatherford stomped in from his washhouse to take
over the convershun, like always, and had a word oh $1 a loaf
bread. He said the reason they call it "cracked wheat" is
cause that's what you have got to be to pay that much fet it.
He said he could remember when we ate bread account we
was pore, and now we're pore on account we eat bread. Bill
gets carried away at times.
The talk was back to Zeke, who said the same old news is
still happening, but you got to look close to find it. They was a
piece the other day, he said, that told how alfalfa powder is
going to be big in food cause it's big in protene. A USDA test
operation shows that alfalfa has more protene than beef, so
Zeke said he looks fer a heap of alfalfa patches to pop up
around the county, and fer the stuff to go to $4 a lb. shortly
afore it gets scarce.
Personal, Mister Editor, I'm agreed with Zeke that the
same things is going on. Fer instant, I see where Pres.
Nixon's church is gitting on him fer what little he puts in the
collection plate. This is jest another case of the caught and
the uncaught.
Yours truly,
MAYOR ROY.
Mr. Magoo
carburetor
if not triple, the miles you get
from a gallon of gasoline.
The only problem, if you did
this, the State of California
would most certainly consider
you a criminal and would
probably fine you severely, if
not throw you in jail.
There is nothing wrong with
the device. It is not dangerous.
It is admitted by the only nine
laboratories in the nation
which test for smog that it is
totally effective. And, it is a lot
cheaper than the hang-on de
vices currently peddled by the
auto industry, and required by
law.
And. it is a lot less expensive
than the huge and cumber
some devices which may cost
up to $1,000 which will be
peddled to the public begin
ning with the 1975 cars, and
which, admittedly, do not
work very well and will not
meet the '75 standards.
This story started with a
dispatch by Capitol News
Service a few months ago. It
told of a University of Cali
fornia at Davis student who
entered a national contest
among engineering students
to the rescue.
is illegal
to develop a smog-free car.
The student, a racing bug,
traveled to Torrance and had
what is called the "Kendig
Variable Venturi Carburetor"
installed on his car when he
went back to campus.
His ancient full-size Mer
cury won top honors in the
national event for being the
closest to a smog-free car. Not
only that, the student found
he'd not only met the '75
standards, but he'd also in
creased his mileage - from
12-miles-per -gallon to 30-miles
per -gallon.
However, after winning the
contest, the student had to
remove the carburetor and
reinstall his old gas-eating
carburetor and smog devices -his
car again polluting the air
and gulping gasoline.
Current smog devices re
move only a small portion of
the smog from the exhaust.
And, they are largely respon
sible for enormous gas con
sumption. This reporter traveled to
Torrance to find out why the
Air Resources Board had
banned the carburetor and, in
effect, ordered the California
Highway Patrol to arrest or
cite anyone who was found to
have the device on their car.
The CHP's position is that the
law requires you to have
specific smog devices, and if
you don't, you will be busted.
And, even though this device
may reduce auto emissions
and increase mileage, the law,
in effect, says you can't have
it.
At the small machine shop
operated by Pollution Controls
Industries, Inc., this reporter
witnessed a new Pinto on a
test track. It barely used
gasoline. Emission meters
plugged into the exhaust
showed absolutely no reading
for auto emissions or NOX
emissions (oxides of nitro
gen). The car seemed to have
exceptional horsepower -which
dropped measureably
when its normal carburetor
and smog devices were
turned. And, the needles on
the emission meters went
wild, then.
The Kendig device was
invented by a short, wirey
man named Willard Z. Kendig
- a guy who's been around cars
most of his life. And, he
explained, his device is sim
ple. It is so simple it is made of
only 105 parts, while the
normal carburetor on our
vehicles has 318.
COW POKES
3 (Z Jb?
It I
"Naw, we ain't got gasoline 'er water but if your
car can run on cold beer fer fifty miles there's
a nice station there that might fix you up!"
rvWrOI
wwi
Yet, Kendig's device de
livers a precise amount of fuel
to the engine, he says, has
automatic compensation for
altitude and eliminates the
need for a choke, accelerator
pump, multiple circuits,
needle valves and jets. And, is
never stalls, achieving con
stant acceleration from idle to
full throttle, he says, without
hesitation.
When this reporter asked
the company's president, Haig
Marashlian, what other proof
he had that his device made
cars smog-free, he provided
me with a list of the nine
laboratories in the country
which check cars for smog.
They had certified that cars
equipped with the Kendig
device met the 1975 auto
emission standards.
Why, then, can't you buy the
device for your car without
being considered a criminal in
California?
First, the company won't
sell you one, because they
don't want to be a party to any
trouble you might get into.
But, more importantly, Mar
ashlian believes his device is
being "closed out" by what he
calls the "big four automo
bile manufacturers." He hints
darkly that the auto industry
wants to zap the public the
$300 to $1,600 the proposed
systems to meet the '75
standards will cost.
And, he says, his device
"only cost $1.5 million to
develop while the auto in
dustry has spent $24 million to
develop a device that still
won't work." He says the auto
industry engineers have put a
blackout on his device "be
cause we did, for far less
money, what they haven't
been able to do."
And, until recently, he
suggests, the oil industry
wasn't too happy about any
kind of gas saving device.
These pressures, he feels,
keep the laws the way they are
and prevent Pollution Controls
Industries, Inc., from mar
keting their device to other
than drivers of hot boats or
dragstrip cars. And, even they
cn't buy the device in Cali
fornia because Marashlian
doesn't want any trouble.
At the machine shop, at the
time this reporter was there,
was Sam Hanks, the winner of
the Indianapolis 500 back in
1957. He knows about cars.
"This thing is the greatest
device for cars that I've ever
seen," he said.
By Ace Reid
There is happy news for the nation's masochlsts, voyeurs .
and sadists - particularly the weird variety that gets their- .
jollies from watching the torture of children. ...,,: ,
For that dox office smash ($2 mlllhon the first week) The - .
Excorclst," Is to have a sequel. Next month, Hollywood s '
Capital Productions plans to release "The Sexorcist. ,
''Variety" which headlined this thrilling news, did not .
mention any details of "The Sexorcist V' content .-the very
thought of which boggles the mind. For "The Exorcist' ,i ,
appears to be the picture with everything including official
Catholic approval. : '
The Division of Film and Broadcasting of the U.S. Catholic
Conference has rated "The Exorcist" "A III" "Morally
unobjectionable for adults, with reservations."
In fact, says this organization, which is the successor to the .
famed Legion of Decency, this film's "special effects, make , w
up, camera work, editing and lighting" constitue "a unique
example of film making." , ,:
Among special effects noted by the movie critic for ,
"Newsweek" magazine (which is hardly regarded as a
conservative periodical): I
1) The film's 12year-old devil-possessed girl "Masturbates . ;
with a crucifix." ' ' ?
2) "She screams the most obscene language ever heard on .
the screen." u
3) "Her face and body a ghoulish wreck of blood, pus and
ivelts,' she kicks a doctor in the groin and makes lewd ;
overtures to her mother," (
Georgetown University, a Jesuit-owned institution which
allowed this sado-masochistic spook story to be filmed on its
campus, did draw the line at permitting one of its altars to be
desecrated. (And since such devilish desecrations are
allegedly fecal, this deprived Hollywood of what would have ,,
been a special effect indeed.) ;
Even without such crossing of a new frontier of taste, the .
faintings, retchings, screamings and nightmares occasioned ..
by this film have been keeping the wire services busy
throughout the nation.
The film's producer has announced several believe-it-or
-not coincidences which allegedly took place during the
filming, and which surely suggest that Old Nick himself was
ominously on location.
Even the communications officer for so sophisticated an
archdiocese as San Francisco, announced that archdiocesan
permission had been given for a priest to drive a number of
demons from one of the city's suburbs.
It is unfortunate that there are apparently no such priestly
teams available to hold special services for the considerable'
number of psychotics who are convinced that rather than '
being possessed by Satan, they are either God or Napolean
Bonaparte. But those under such divine or Napoleonic
delusions should soon be outnumbered by those who, through
the suggestions of priests and producers, become convinced
that they have been occupied by Satan himself.
Fortunately there are some Catholic Priests who have,, m (
denounced this sick horror story by Georgetown graduate
William Peter Blatty. There is Fordham University's Father I
Raymond Schroth, who describes the book as a "Commercial
gimmick-shocker ... a piece of Catholic nostalgia of more
service to the cause of superstition than to true religion."
One good effect may emerge from "The F'.xorcit',Vuu"
however, in that it may well be the last time any thinking Wl
person ever takes official Catholic censorship seriously. For
the very same film and broadcasting division which
approves the public filming of a little girl masturbating with
a crucifix, has given a C rating ("Condemned") to the films
"Magnum Force" and "Class of 44." (A decade ago a
condemned rating was given to "The Pawnbroker," while
"The Carpetbaggers" was approved.) '
Understandably. For neither of these two films had '
Catholic priests as heroes, nor were they photographed on a
Catholic campus, nor did they reinforce Pope Paul's June
1972 announcement that Satan really exists.
The mail pouch
EDITOR:
I have been stationed in Southeast Asia and the Far East
for the past four and one half years, but have kept well
informed of the happenings in and around Heppner.
My father, being classified as one of the world's worst
letter writers, has faithfully each and every year subscribed
to the Gazette-Times for me (bless his heart). My mother
claims to be in the same catagory as my father, but she's not.
She writes several times a year.
At any rate, the reason for this letter is an article spotted
by my keen old eyes in these times of crisis while I was
wging though the Pacific Stars and Stripes (the military's ;
answer to the Heppner Gazette-Times).
The High-Rent
District . . .
TOKYO (AP) - A piece of
land in Shinjuku, a shopping and
amusement center in downtown
Tokyo, is the most valuable in
Japan for the second con- ,
secutive year, with an assessed
value of 8,440,000 yen ($28,133) a
' tsubo (3.3 square meters), the
Tax Administration Agency said
Wednesday.
Land in Ginza, Tokyo's 'Fifth
Avenue,' which had led the list '
of assessed land values until
1972, is assessed at 7,750,000 yen
($25,833), the agency said.
Incidentally, 3.3 square meeters is barely more than 40
square feet! Keep smiling.
SP5G.L. HICKS,
APOSF 96343.
EDITOR:
May I take this opportunity of expressing my sincere ..
gratitude to the people of Heppner and especially to my
cousin, Mrs. Edna Turner, and my aunt, Mrs. Mattie Rood,
and the staff at the hospital.
It was a bit of a shock to find I couldn't take a taxi to the '"!
hospital, and I am the world's poorest hitchhiker, but when
the weather is in the below zero mark, exceptions can be J
made. I found the kindest of people to take me back and forth
to the hospital to visit my relatives.
To all these people and the operators of the Northwestern
Motel and Mr. and Mrs. Russel, a big "Thank You. If any of
you want to vacation in British Columbia may I in my home j
give you the same welcome that you gave me?
MRS JOCIE DALE, '
Maple Ridge, B.C., I
Canada.
4