1 IIEITNEIt IOKK.I (iAZKTTK TIMK8.
wtnitnitAtimitnntiiniinntiiituMtntnHuiiMaimQiMittiiii
Thurtdav. August 23, ?3
Horse sense
My
RltNKST V. JOINER
Mwnwmwimuiutmimiimwiiiiiiitti
Now that the country's best cowboys are assembled in
Heppner for the Fastest Show in the West, it is time to
acquaint them with the saga of Horace The Mule. I wrote this
whimsy a couple of years ago after hearing it recounted at a
gathering back East somewhere. After several hours of
merriment and story-telling (interspersed with a few horns
of bourbon and branch water). Vernon Sechrist of the Rocky
Mount, N.C., Telegram recounted a story about a friend of
his. Mrs. Grace Wood, that should have Mark Twain
chortling in his sarcophagus. My memory is understandably
hazy, but the story went something like this.
Mrs. George Wood, now deceased, of Chowan County,
had a mule named Horace. One evening she called up Dr.
Satterfield in Edenton and said to him. "Doctor, Horace is
sick and I wish you would come and take a look at him," Dr.
Sa'terfield replied, "Oh. Fannie Lamb, it's after 6 o'clock
and I'm eating supper. Give old Horace a dose of mineral oil,
and if he isn't all right in the morning, phone me and I'll come
and take a look at him."
"How'll I give it to him?" she inquired. "Through a
funnel." But he might bite me," she protested. "Oh, Fannie
Lamb, you're a farm woman and you know about these
things. Give it to him through the other end." So Fannie
Lamb went out to the bam and there stood Horace with his
head held down, and moaning and groaning. She looked for a
funnel, but the nearest thing she could see to one was her
Uncle Bill's fox hunting horn hanging on the wall. A beautiful
golden-plated instrument it was, with gold tassels hanging
from it. She took the horn and affixed it properly. Horace
paid no attention. Then she reached up on the shelf where
medicines for the farm animals were kept. But instead of
picking up the mineral oil, she picked up a bottle of
turpentine, and she poured a liberal dose of it into the horn.
Horace raised his head with a sudden jerk. He let out a
bawl that could be (and was) heard for a mile. He reared up
on his hind legs, brought his front legs down, knocked out the
side of the barn, jumped a five-foot fence, and started down
the road at a mad gallop. Now, Horace was in pain, so every
few jumps he made, that horn would blow. All the dogs in the
neighborhood knew that when that horn was blowing, it
meant that Uncle Bill was going fox hunting. So out on the
highway they went, close behind Horace.
It was a marvelous sight. First, Horace-running wide
open, the hunting horn in the most unusual position, the
mellow notes issuing therefrom, the tassels waving, and the
dogs barking joyously.
They passed by the home of Old Man Harvey Hogan, who
was sitting on his front porch. He hadn't drawn a sober
breath in 15 years, and he gazed in fascinated amazement at
the sight that unfolded itself before his eyes. He couldn't
believe what he was seeing. Incidentally, he is now head man
in Alcoholics Anonymous in the Albemarle section of the
state.
By this time it was good and dark. Horace and the dogs
were approaching the Inland Waterway. The bridge tender
heard the horn blowing and figured that a boat was
approaching. So he hurriedly went out and uncranked the
bridge. Horace went overboard and was drowned. The dogs
also went into the water, but they swam out without very
much difficulty.
Now it so happened that the bridge tender was running
for the office of sheriff of Chowan County, but he managed to
poll only seven votes. The people figured that any man who
didn't know the difference between a mule with a horn up his
rear and a boat coming down the Inland Waterway wasn't fit
to hold any public office in Chowan County.
The rodeo came into being with the growth of the cattle
business in the U.S. Nobody seems to know when or where the
rodeo began, but the first historical reference to it comes
from Santa Fe, N.M., in 1847. Bulldogging or steer wrestling
was introduced as a rodeo event by Bill Pickett of Oklahoma
in 1903. The most money ever won in a single rodeo season
was by Larry Mahan of Brooks, Ore., in 1969 when he racked
up $57,726. The meanest, oneriest steer in rodeo circles was a
cross between a Brahma and a Hereford named Aught. He
busted 476 out of 482 riders in less than 8 seconds each. But he
loved children, and played with them until his death in 1964.
The greatest bucking horse was Midnight, owned by Verne
Elliott of Colorado. Fron 1923 to 1930 he was ridden by only
four riders, and one of them was Frank Studnick at the
Pendleton Round-up of 1929. None of the other three riders
ever was able to ride Midnight a second time, and the only
reason Studnick wasn't subsequently thrown was because he
refused to mount him again ! The fastest time ever recorded
for bulldogging a steer is 2.4 seconds, by an old Texas buddy,
James Bynum, at the Marietta, Okla., rodeo in 1955. That'll
give you tigers something to shoot at in Heppner, Saturday
and Sunday. Good luck.
Every time riders hang around the rodeo chutes they
start talking about horses. Smart horses and dumb horses.
They'll recall Old Baldy and his exploits. But the smartest
horse in the world was owned by Buffalo Bill, if one takes him
seriously. The old buffalo hunter fell from this horse of his
one day right in the path of a charging buffalo herd. The
horse dragged his unconscious masterto safetyrspread-
blanket, built a fire, and pushed a pack of provisions next to
him. Then the horse took off to find a doctor. Bill used to say
there was only one hitch: the horse came back with a horse
doctor.
Eva Padberg Griffith was Queen of the 1923 Heppner
show. She was a top rider and a good hand with a lariat. That
was 50 years ago, and she still lives in Heppner. She will be
honored at the Wranglers' Breakfast Sunday at 9:30 a.m. at
the City Park. She will also ride in Saturday's parade down
Main Street, and she will be introduced to the crowd at the
1973 Rodeo Sunday.
Dick Gorham works for Kinzua Corporation, and he has
never ridden a bull. But the boys at Hamlin's Tavern put up
Dick's entry fee at the rodeo, and he will take his first ride
this weekend. His friends will be there to give him their
moral support, all of which he will be needing.
I GAZETTE-TIMES I
E MORROW COUNTY'S NEWSPAPER
S AMrttl: Hl"r, Of., mat, Tat. Ut-ftn, P.O. a W7. K
H TTw Ihmif eaictta Marc M, ltd. TIm jfi
gv lliMmr Tmtata maliiM Not. It, Itw. C HI W,
K frst V. J4ar.. ... ... ...itWf g
K KriM4t CinM lwypl'y-tf ffi
I SURtCRirriON RATES: M aar yaa r Jm On in, u B
j ttMwttvrv- (Hty(B espy IS m(t MAtft4 Muff espy IS csMti 55
"If you hombres are in Heppner look
ing for trouble, Til tee you down at
the rodeo pen!"
The ma7 pouch
EDITOR:
The following letter was written by Carroll Tufts Keys of
Fossil, and was published in the Oregonian recently. I think it
is appropriate for Rodeo Week:
I have seldom been so shocked as I was on reading the
letter of July 18 by Mrs. Eddy about the so-called
mistreatments of rodeo horses. There is not one iota of truth
in her accusations. She is flatly stating as true things that she
obviously has no real information about.
I have lived for 40 years on a sheep and cattle ranch in
Central Oregon and my husband was raised on the ranch 67
years ago. We have attended at least a hundred rodeos. My
son has been a top rider, and both my husband and my son
have worked in the chutes and have never witnessed any of
the things Mrs. Eddy charges are common practice.
In our business we are required to raise a great many
horses, and we love horses. I have never failed to marvel at
the fact that most horses are willing to be ridden. But there
are always some that will put up a real argument and try to
get rid of the rider by bucking him off. These are the ones
that end up in the rodeos and become trained buckers.
Our cow horses spend many days packing men over these
mountains in search of strays, etc. Consider the life of the
rodeo horse. For a really few days during the summer he
comes out of the chute once a day for eight or 10 seconds. The
rest of the year he leads a carefree life in pasture. He is well
fed because he has to start the spring in top condition, full of
vim and vigor, to be in shape for bucking.
I have seen too many horses in our barnyard simply
explode with the sheer joy of bucking not to realize that some
horses enjoy bucking. They certainly don't have to be
tortured to cause them to buck. And horses are not stupid;
they soon realize that they are supposed to try their best to
get rid of that rider and come out of the chute in a fury of
bucking jumps.
Yes, the electric prod may be used but not as Mrs. Eddy
suggests. And the horses would never be starved or not
watered except for three hours before bucking, because they
wouldn't buck well. The flanking strap is there to annoy, not
hurt the horse. If the only way you could get out of your girdle
was by bucking, I'm sure you would buck.
MERLYN ROBINSON,
Heppner
salary
scandal
irQ
By
LESTER KINSOLVING
'The United Presbyterian Church pays a national mission
employee as little as $6,000 per year base salary - and a
General Assembly employee as much as $37,500 per year,"
observed a petition ("overture") to that denomination's
recent General Assembly in Omaha.
"All servants of the church are important and deserve to
be equally treated on their dedication to Christ, as opposed to
a secular system of values," contended this overture, from
Alabama's Birmingham Presbytery.
A similar, if more conservative, overture came from the
Presbytery of Philadelphia, which asked that headquarters
salaries be limited to 250 per cent of median clergy income.
Both of these provocative petitions were submitted for
further study (virtually killed) by the General Assembly -understandably,
because it is rare indeed that anyone but
headquarters staff and other high paid personnel can afford
to take 10 days in May to attend General Assembly.
Yet it is significant that this proposal for a 250 per cent
limitation should come from the Philadelphia Presbytery,
because this area is the residence of both of the
denomination's $37.500-a-year men, Stated Clerk William P.
Thompson and Mission Council Director Leon Fanniel.
On a lower level, there are three men at h.q. who are paid
$32,500 - including the Rev. Oscar McLeod. The Rev. Mr.
McLeod took a leading part in the $10,000 Presbyterian
donation to the Angela Davis Defense Fund.
Just how much this $10,000 gift (or, as the Presbytery of
San Francisco concluded, the headquarters' highly
questionalbe attempt to conceal it) had to do with the United
Presbyterian Church's present and desolate condition is
conjectural.
It must, however, be particularly galling to the
$6.0O0-a-year missionary who is mushing in the Artie or
EDITOR:
I heard you on Jim Ea son's Show over KGO Radio, San
Francisco, Friday from Heppner.
They tell me you are now publishing the Heppner
Gazette-Times, and you are willing to accept five dollar
Federal Reserve Notes (of no intrinsic value) for a one-year
subscription. Here is my check for five dollars that you can
exchange at your local bank for the said notes.
JAMES E.FANSLER.
Sebastopol, Ca.
EDITOR:
I heard Jim Eason of Radio Station KGO, San Francisco,
read your Aug. 2 Horse Sense column over the air in its
entirety. I was so impressed I wanted to read more...
My granddaughter, Glenna Seward, went to Oregon State
three years and loved Oregon and the people. She had a
classmate from Heppner. My daughter and her husband are
reading the Gazette-Times and are enjoying it. The
granddaughter says it is just "like home."
MRS. JERRELL K. JOHANSON,
Alameda, Ca.
(ED. NOTE-Thank you for the California dollars and your
kind comments. If I'm ever in your neighborhood again I will
accept your invitation to visit with you.)
EDITOR:
When we were camping near Heppner I bought your paper
and feel I should tell you how much I enjoyed your column,
Horse Sense. Your use of words is excellent and (he
sentiments expressed on capital punishment and exporting
wheat are exactly like mine.
A subject that gripes me at present is taking off the
camping fees. We have greatly enjoyed not "only the
caretakers, but also the clean toilets and campsites. We
certainly don't regret the dollar a day we paid.
I think I'll write to Sen. Packwood about it, for all the good
it will do.
MRS. C.E. PEARSON,
Florence.
(ED NOTE-Although use fees for 29,000 campsites are
discontinued as of Aug. 1, it is still possible to make
reservations for campsites through American Express
Reservations. Ramada Inns and Hertz Rent-A-Car
counters. American Express charges $1.50 for such a
reservation, and it insures one of having a desirable
campsite. Thank you for your letter.)
sweltering in the jungle to know that upon the Biblical
criterion ("Where the heart lies, there will lie the treasure
also") he or she is worth only one fifth as much as McLeod, .
Moreover, the present desolation of the United
Presbyterian Church (a loss, since 1971, of more than 2 per
cent of its entire membership - the worst of any
denomination) is surely more the fault of national
headquarters than the missionaries. For the missionaries
have to live down the actions of the national headquarters
infinitely more than vice versa. And while total giving to all
local Presbyterian churches is up by 11 million, giving to the
national headquarters is down by 8 per cent, or two million.
There is, however, some hope in sight. General Assembly
elected to its highest post (Moderator) an apparently good
man, the Rev. Clinton Marsh of Omaha. Among other things,
the Rev. Mr. Marsh:
Promised that he would seek to find out just how the
controversial $10,000 Presbyterian donation to the Angela
Davis Defense Fund was spent - which information the
national headquarters has not heretofore been disclosing.
Expressed fervent hope that his race (Negro) had nothing
to do with his election. (This contrasted sharply with his
predecessor in the Moderator's chair, Dr. Willard Heckel, of
Rutgers University Law School in New Jersey. For Dr.
Heckel told a press conference that blacks are more entitled
to preferential treatment in admission to law school than are
Jews - even though he declined to offer any theory as to why
Black Panthers have insisted upon being represented by a
white attorney.)
Told the General Assembly just before they elected him
(and decisively defeated another candidate, retired World
Council of Churches General Secretary Eugene Carson
Blake): "There are little people all over the nation who feel
that those at our national headquarters are not colleagues,
but a vague 'they'."
Understandably. Look at the salary differential.
Mayor of Hardman
Clem Webster was agreed
with Ed that this country not
only has lived, it hoi growed
strong and rich operating on
two sets of facts-Democrat
and Republican. Clem said
both have a record of bending
hiitlory to suit (heir cam
paigns, and it ain't to frequent
that one will take the risk of
jumping on the other fer their
idee of the truth.
Farthermore, both parties
is equal guilty of handing out
federal aid in such habit-forming
doses that we got to the
place we think we can't git
along without it.
Back afore Congressmen
was convinced their job was to
figgcr new way to take our
money and give some of it
back, Clem said they was a
law of nature about survival of
the fittest. Nowdays, went on
Gem, the Guvernment hus
improved that rule to where
everbody survives and no
body's fit fer nothing.
Well, Mister Editor, turning
to your business I see wed
dings in your paper has slowed
down some, so I reckon the
peak marrying season is over.
My old lady alius enjoys
reading about the weddings,
course she likes the funerals
to, and she don't never miss
the divorce cases.
Personal, I got great respect
fer marriage. It teaches a
feller to keep regular hours, to
keep his mouth shut and other
good habits he wouldn't need if
he stayed single.
But we've got worse prob
lems what with the Fair and
Rodeo in Heppner comin next
week, when they is going to be
more heads hung under the
pump spout, and more eyes
lookin like roadmaps, than has
been seen in this county since
the same folks met the same
.problem headon this time last
year.
DEAR MISTER EDITOR:
I want to remember what
the folks that run that Wimble
ton tennis game in England
aid about players that
wouldn't play. They said that
Wimbleton was bigger than
the boycotters.
I think they were right, and I
think what they said works fer
all the ball players In this
country that git the idee the
game can't live without em. I
hope the sunie applies to
politicians In both countries,
cause both have been having
their share of trouble with em
lately.
The fellers took this matter
tip during the session at the
country store Saturday night.
Josh Clodhopper, that don't
talk much unless the subject is
the mail and his Social
Security check is a day late,
surprised everybody by com
ing out foursquare fer England-type
scandals.
Josh was of the mind that
American politicians git in hot
water over greed and power,
but them in England has
trouble with the wimmen.
It's a man's duty to serve his
country, allowed Josh, and he,
fer one, would ruther pull his
political hitch in England.
That's when Ed Doolittle got
the floor. Ed was a Republican
before, during and after it was
snmepun you could brag about
in mixed company, and he
called josh down fer poking
fun at the troubles we're
having.
Ed said he had studied
politics a long time and when
it conies to throwing rocks,
jest about everybody lives in a
glass house. One party point
ing a finger at the other is the
pot calling the kittle black,
was Ed's words.
Fer instant, he said, he saw
a few weeks back where the
only differunce between Nix
on's and Johnson's telephone
recording hookups was that Yours truly,
Johnson could cut his off. MAYOR ROY.
Retirement.
Plan for it now
David E. Mitchum, Mental Health Director
A few years ago I had the pleasure of attending a
conference of health and welfare people in the Ozarks, where
the subject dealt with plans for retired people and the
problems associated with old age.
During this meeting, elaborate plans were unveiled
concerning large retirement centers in the Ozark area and
everyone seemed to have clever ideas about what to do about
the "problem of the old people." We were conceiving all
types of programs to help the "old people" as though we
talked about what we should do about Cambodia.
Finally, in the middle of the discussion an 80-year-old man
rose to be recognized. As he began to speak the room became
quiet and few of us will forget his comment.
"You have wonderful ideas about programs for the people
who retire 20,30 and 50 years from now. You seem to assume
this category of old people to be helpless. Well, my friends,
you're talking about yourselves. Start planning now for your
own retirement."
Needless to say, we were stunned by the sudden realization
brought forth by this man's words.
How many of us make the similar mistake of thinking that
old age and the problems of retirement are in some other
dimension? Indeed, we are talking about ourselves.
Planning for retirement is a life-time activity and one facet
of life which cannot be put off. When we reach retirement
age, it is too late to profit by our mistake. How many of us
expect that elaborate governmental health and welfare
programs are going to take care of us?
Planning for retirement is more than providing financial
security. If you are one whose life is made of summers in
which you do not get to do enough fishing, or if you have
always yearned to travel, paint, write or sew, then these are
activities which can fill your life with happiness in your final
years.
We cannot assume that the world will end for us when we
retire bcause we know that many people live as long as 20 or
more years after they retire.
Some people consider retirement so important that they
have planned sufficiently ahead of time to be able to do what
they want, live comfortably, and even retire earlier than the
traditional age of 65. The number of years we spend in
retirement could possibly comprise one-fourth of our total
life time; and for many, it is a time of boredom, frustration,
and loneliness.
If you do not want to be financially and emotionally
insecure and frustrated in your later years, then now is the
time to make some preparations.
What does this have to do with mental health? Visit some of
our elderly citizenry and see for yourself. I hope you and, I do
not have to find out through our own experience.
-. - . I
"Now there's two good sides to Hits ranch one is straight
up and Hit other straight down!"