THE
Hehisch
published by the Journalism Class
of Heppner High School
STAFF
Editor Irena McFerrin
. Assistant Editor Patty Cason
Pinto-Points Paul McCarty
Guess Who John Crawford
Personals Sibyl Howell
Humor, Bethal Blake, Scott McMurdo
Can You Imagine .. Alvina Casebeer
Ten Years Ago Howard Patton
Brain Buster Emery Coxen
Junior Class Play Bill Barratt
GossiD Joe Aiken
Do You Know That? Thomas Gonty
H.H.S.
Brain Buster
Answer to last week's Brain Bust
er: 1. Brazil; 2. Lawrence W. Cra
mere; 3. The embargo was lifted in
June, 1936.
This week's Brain Buster: Who
was the ruler who made it illegal for
a subject to offer a guest more than
three courses at one meal?
H.H.S.
Humor and Discretion
A sense of humor is a priceless
possessiono. Abraham Lincoln prob
ahlv had the greatest sense of hu
mor because he did not take himself
so seriously that he was made ridic
ulous.
It is a fine thing to be funny
within limits. No one can be funny
all the time. Even professional hu
morists can't do it. If a person tries,
over a radio, to make people laugh
half an hour each week, he soon
breaks down in the attempt and falls
in niiKlic esteem.
Such is the way in high school! A
Rtudent who tries to be funny all the
time soon falls in the esteem of his
fellow students.
Since, then, one cannot be funny
all the time, the wise man will not
undertake it. The foolish and inex
perienced students will.
H.H.S.
Do You Know That?
High upon the mountains in Col
orado you would find red snow? This
is due to the presence of minute
living organisms, a form of algae.
Some fish of the deep sea are
equipped with illuminating devices?
A camel has double eyelids, the
inner one being transparent
The Federal Drug act does not re
quire the makers of drugs to state
on labels the presence of deadly
poisons such as arsenic, strychnine,
etc?
On the barber's pole that the red
stripe represented blood and the
white stripes the bandages that were
used.
The hornet is a deadly enemy of
the Cicidea (locust)?
The brain of an average man
weighs about three pounds, while a
woman's is five ounces less?
Odd But True!!
Mr. Peavy can't sit through a show.
Van Marter and Betty Happold
seen at school Mondays.
English Ess. seems to be quite the
rage now.
Semester grades suffering a re
cession. Barratt needs a nerve tonic.
Jean Hayes didn't sign out of the
assembly.
It looks like Rufus is cutting Clay
ton Wright out.
Miss Nordstrom keeps the fresh
men in hand.
Pat Healy's black eye isn't any
more.
H.H.S.
Here and There
Jackson Gilliam was confined at
home due to illness.
Carolyn Vaughn was confined at
home due to illness.
Jack Morton and Harriet Hager
have not returned to school due to
illness, but much progress has been
shown toward their recovery.
Howard Patton was absent from
school Monday due to illness.
H.H.S.
Bob thought his gas was getting low;
He struck a match; the tank let go.
Bob sailed three miles right in the
air:
Three miles on a pint is pretty
Heppner
PINTO-POINTS
A elance at a road map will re
veal that instead of being divided
into the present eastern and west
ern divisions, the Upper Columbia
Athletic league could just as well
be termed sections possessing the
names of the two remaimng general
directions, that of northern and
southern ... if the highway explan
ation that the Union Oil Co. .pub
lishes can justify itself as an author
ity, at least as far as accuracy in ex
posing directions is concerned, then
our point is well taken ... it seems
that lone and Lexington, the southern-most
members of the eastern
division, are west of Heppner, the
town that happens to be more south
than west of Echo and Stanfield,
eastern division . . . also, our own
little1 city is almost directly south
of Boardman, a school in the divis
ion of the eastern league, is the
northernmost school in the western
division . . . therefore, the northern
team of the western division should
be the same of the southern divis
ion ... a boundary dividing this
area into a northern and southern
division would settle this most com
plicated mattere.
A frprklpd. red-faced man. his
hair having the same tint as his
countenance, wearing a none too
clean trench-coat, visited our local
metroDolis shortly after Christmas,
and his intentions while here were
far from being for the benefit of his
hosts ... he had an idea, we'll call
it a scheme, that resulted in several
down-town merchants having to
leave an extra line in the ledger for
Drofit and loss, mostly loss ... in
short, he left town with some money
for which he gave nothing in return
... he went around to some of the
business houses asking if they want
ed an advertising space on the plac
ard he was nutting out that con
tained the basketball schedules for
the remainder of the season of Hepp
ner. Pilot Rock, lone, and Lexing
ton . . . after obtaining a few dol
lars, he left town and has not been
seen since . . . however, he left his
name on a receipt written out for
money received, whether it be fic
titious or not remains to be seen . . .
the question is, why didn't he put
out the schedules, as he did just that
in Pendleton, thus giving the Round
Up city sports boosters something
for their money, whereas Heppner
residents of the same nature were
left nothing but a sour taste in their
mouths and a bitter feeling for the
slicker, whose name has been sent
in to the press association in an at
tempt to trace him.
Curfew Chatter: After the games
the Mustangs played last week end,
winning two from teams favored
over them, the general concensus is
that Heppner has a better bunch of
ball-hawkers than was generally
thought. A member of the Irrigon
contingent, not a player, however,
hinted that he thought Heppner was
going to get even, which they did,
for their defeat in the game played
at the small river-city ... the boys
over there, in this Irrigon fan's esti
mation, were playing too -much ball
and were very near that dreaded
stage of going stale. A few figures
averaee heieht of local squatf,
just a shade under 5 feet 9 inches
average points per game in nine
contests for Mustangs, 28 . . . for op
ponents, 27. Low grades resulted in
dismissal of one of the boys iromi
the grade school quintet . . . Lexing
ton lost its reserve via the same
route ... the grades in Heppner are
not issued until this week, and un
til then, the stability of our "thun
dering herd is uncertain. One thing
most enlightening in games to date
is the sparkling play of the fresh
men . . . more encouraging is that
they are the team of the future years
for Heppner High. Just a reminder
. . . there still remains unpaid for,
som athletic equipment that was
TRADE
Stop fooling around with coughs due to colds... Get pleasant
relief with Smith Brothers Cough Drops. Black or Menthol-5tf.
SmithBros.CoughDroparetheonlydropscontainingVITAMINA
This is the vitamin that raises the resistance of the mucous
membranes of the nose and throat to cold and cough infections.
Gazette Times, Heppner,
"purchased" in the fall of last year
by a few athletes of the school,
namely, football shoes.
H.H.S.
Can You Imagine?
Kemp Dick with his socks right
side out? ,
Joe Aiken with a bay window?
Mr. Peavy with a candid camera?
Shirley Wilson as Milton Morgan's
music stand?
A new semester?
Such romantic leads in the junior
play as Mary Jane Casteel and Bill
Barratt?
Van Marter not being absent on
Monday morning?
H.H.S.
Guess Who?
Bov
Class Junior
Age 16
Sport - Basketball
Main Trait Modesty
Ambition To win the Yell Oueen
Car Chev. sedan or pick-up
Girl-
Class Junior
Age 15
Height 5 feet 2
Sport Tennis
Main Trait Peppiness
Ambition To win the Yell Kang
Car Blue Dodge
H.H.3.
Humor
Mrs. Knox: "Do be careful, Rob
ert, there's a car behind you."
Mr. Knox: "Yes, but I have never
hit anyone behind me."
A balky mule has four wheel brakes,
And a billy goat has bumpers.
The firefly is a bright spotlight,
Jack rabbits are puddle jumpers.
Camels have balloon-tired feet,
And carry spares of what they eat.
But still I think nothing beats
The kangaroo with rumble seats.
Mrs Blankenshin: "I saw the
sweetest little hat down town today."
Mr. B .: "Put it on. I want to see
how you look in it."
Favorite Songs
An Old Flame Never Dies La
Verne Van Marter.
Can I Forget You? Shirley Wil
son. Farewell My ,Love John Craw
ford .
I'm Hating This Waiting Around
Jack Merrill.
I've Got My Heart Set on You
Vrannps McCartV.
Three o'Clock in the Morning-
Bill Barratt.
It Ain't Right Donnie Bennett.
Can'tcha Kinda Go For Me? Ver
non Knowles.
Having a Wonderful Time Flor
ence Becket.
Ten Pretty Girls Joe Aiken.
I Double Dare You Maxine Mc-
I Want a New Romance Jack
You Gotta Have Yumph Robert
Scrivner.
BOARDMAN NEWS
Boardman Men
At Planning Meet
By LA VERN BAKER
Paul Smith, Nathan Thorpe, Ralph
Earwood and W. A. Baker motored
to HenDner Saturday. Mr. Smith
and Mr. Baker were delegates to a
committee planning for the future
good of Morrow county.
Miss Elanore Tildon, the third and
and fourth grade teacher, was called
to her home in Portland Tuesday,
due to the serious illness of her
mother. Mrs. Leonard Davis is sub
stituting for her.
Mrs. Helen Doney returned to
Odell Monday after spending several
weeks visiting her parents, Mr. and
Mrs. S. C. Russell.
Mr. and Mrs. S. E. McReynolds of
Walla Walla visited at the Nate Ma
comber home over the week end.
Mr. and Mrs. Champ Bond and
MARK
Oregon
children of Haines visited Mrs.
Bond's parents, Mr. and Mrs. John
Fisher, over the week end.
Word was received from the Dil-
labough's, who were previously res
idents of Boardman, of the birth of
a new baby girl, Susan Lee.
The Boardman Yellow Jackets met
the Lexington squad on the Board
man floor Friday evening. The local
second team played the grade school
and the grade school won.
Mr. and Mrs. Ray Brown and Mrs.
Percy Rake and son returned from
Walla Walla Saturday after visiting
there the past week.
Orlando DePinto left Monday for
Portland after visiting his sister,
Mrs. Colosso. here.
Several carloads of young people
motored to Hermiston Saturday eve
ning where they attended the 'show
and dance.'
Mrs. Hendricks was a business
visitor in Hermiston Saturday.
Mr. and Mrs. Robert Harwood and
Mr. and Mrs. J. L. Jenkins motored
to Bonneville Sunday.
Ted Wilson left Saturday for La
Grande to spend the week end with
his brother Eldon.
Mr. and Mrs. Robert Har of Ir-
rigon visited at the tsaker nome
. - .4 1 1
Sundav.
Mrs. W. A. Baker returned home
Sundav from La Grande where she
has been visiting friends. Mr. and
Mrs. Willard Baker brought her
home.
A shower was given in honor of
Mrs. George Corwin at the Sullivan
home Monday afternoon. Tea was
poured by Mrs. Colosso and Mrs.
Art Allen. Many nice gifts were
brought.
Stop signs are just as important
in Dreventing accidents as traffic
lights and signals, Secretary of State
Earl Snell declares. He reminds mo
torists that other drivers may be
depending on through-street mark
ers to protect them against fast
cross traffic, and any disregarding
of the markers is apt to have disas
trous results.
Professional
Directory
A. D. McMurdo, M. D.
PHYSICIAN & SURGEON
Trained Nurse Assistant
Office In Masonic Building
Heppner, Oregon
Morrow County
Abstract & Title Co.
INC.
ABSTRACTS OF TITLE
TITLE INSUBANCE
Office in New Peters Building
F. W. Turner & Co.
FIRE, AUTO AND LIFE
INSURANCE
Old Line Companies Seal Estate
Heppner, Oregon
Jos. J. Nys
ATTORNEY AT LAW
Peters Building, Willow Street
Heppner, Oregon
Laurence Case
Mortuary
"Just the service wanted
when yon want it most"
FOB BEST MABKET FBICES for
yonr new or old wheat, see
CORNETT GREEN
for grain stored in Heppner and
Lexington,
ELMER GRIFFITH
at lone for rest of Branch
Bepresentlng Balfour, Guthrie & Co.
Phelps Funeral Home
Telephone 1332
Licensed Funeral Directors
Trained Lady Assistant
Heppner, Oregon
Thursday, January 20, 1938
J. 0. Turner
ATTORNEY AT LAW
Phone 173
Hotel Heppner Building
"HEPPNER, ORE.
Dr. Raymond Rice
PHYSICIAN & SURGEON
Office
First National Bank Building
Office Phone 523 House Phone 823
Heppner
Abstract Co.
J. LOGIE RICHARDSON, Mgr.
BATES SEASONABLE
Roberts Building Heppner, Ore.
P. W. Mahoney
ATTORNEY AT LAW
GENERAL INSUBANCE
Heppner Hotel Building
Willow St. Entrance
J. 0. Peterson
Latest jewelry and Gift Goods
Watches - Clocks - Diamonds
Expert Watch and Jewelry
Repairing
Heppner, Oregon
Vawter Parker
ATTORNEY-AT-LAW
First National Bank Building
Dr. Richard C. Lawrence
DENTIST
Modern equipment including X-ray
for dental diagnosis
Extraction by gas anesthetic
First National Bank Building
Phone 562 Heppner, Ore.
Dr. L. D. Tibbies
OSTEOPATHIC
Physician & Surgeon
FIRST NATIONAL BANK BLDG.
Rec. Phone 1162 Office Phone 492
HEPPNER, OREGON
W. M. Eubanks
, Representing
KERR, GIFFORD & CO., INC.
on Heppner Branch
V. R. Runnion
AUCTIONEER
Farm Sales and Livestock a Specialty
405 Jones Street, Heppner, Ore,
Phone 452
MAKE DATES AT MY EXPENSE
Frank C. Alfred
s ATTORNEY AT LAW
Telephone 442
Rooms 3-4
First National Bank Building
HEPPNER, OREGON
Peterson & Peterson
ATTORNEYS AT LAW
U. S. National Bank Building
PENDLETON, OREGON
Practice in State and Federal Courts
Real Estate
General Line of Insurance and
Bonds
W. M. EUBANKS
Notary Publlo
Phone 62 lone. Ore.
A Home for the Aged
Home-like care and surroundings
with graduata nurse in constant
charge. Inquire for rates, Including
room and meals. ,
Morrow General Hospital
Mrs. L. G. Rumble, Mgr.
fair.