PAGE SIX
HEPPNER GAZETTE TIMES, HEPPNER, OREGON, THURSDAY, NOV. 25, 1937
THE
Hehisch
Published by the Journalism Class
of Heppner High School
Calendar of Events
Basketball
Nov. 30, lone vs. Heppner.
Dec. 10, Adams vs. Heppner.
Operetta, December 17.
H.H.S.
Thanksgiving
Many of us get down upon the
world sometimes in our lives. We
think that everything is wrong and
can't see any good in anything. On
the whole, it is not all our fault;
perhaps something does go wrong,
then everything seems that way.
Thanksgiving will be here Thurs
day; so regardless of our troubles
let's forget them and think of every
thing we have to be thankful for,
Just sit down to that dinner with
our thoughts upon the brighter side
of life and make an impression upon
the dinner.
Let's draw all the little glooms
out of the week and fill it with hap
piness and joys. We hope everyone
has a very happy Thanksgiving.
H.H.S.
Football Banquet Ends Season
Taps were blown upon Heppner
High's football season at a banquet
given last Saturday evening at the
Parish house. It was prepared by
the Home Economics club, supervised
by Miss Nordstrom.
Coach Knox, acting as toastmaster,
requested each boy to make a speech.
Mr. Blankenship congratulated the
team and the six football players
who are graduating this year, on
what they did throughout their
football careers.
H.H.S.
Basketball Season Opens
Heppner high school's basketball
season will officially open next
Tuesday against lone at the local
gymnasium. lone is reported to have
the strongest team in years, while
Heppner's ranks are greatly deplet
ed by graduation last year.
No starting line-up has been given
due to the few practices. Following
this game, will be one with Adams,
coached by Mr. Tetz, former Hepp
ner coach.
H.H.S.
Here and There
Emery Coxen, Wilfred Stone, Mil
ton Morgan and Jackson Gilliam
were among Heppner visitors in
Pendleton Saturday.
A group of Heppner young people
were seen at the dance at Hardman,
Saturday evening.
Richard Hayes spent the week end
in Corvallis.
H.H.S.
Pep Club Gives Program
An assembly was given last week
by the five new members of the Pep
club, as part of their initiation. The
new members are Scott McMurdo,
Bethal Blake, Carolyn Vaughn, Bud
dy Blakely and Paul Doolittle. Their
program consisted of a debate, Re
solved: "That mosquitoes should
be given government rights." The
negative speakers were Bethal Blake
and Buddy Blakely. The affirmative
speakers were Scott McMurdo and
Carolyn Vaughn. The chairman was
Paul Doolittle. The judges, other
members of the Pep club, could not
reach their decision, so will refer
to Congress for their answer.
H.H.S.
Eighth Grade News
Philip Cohn, who has just re
turned from a trip East, gave an in
teresting report of his travels to the
eighth grade class Monday morning.
A movie was shown to the grade
school Monday morning. It was the
story of Boulder Dam from the time
it was begun until it was finished.
It went into every detail of construc
tion and was very interesting. An
other short reel called "Heritage"
was also shown.
H.H.S.
Guess Who?
He's a two year vet.
He takes part in all sports;
He wears clothes of all sorts.
He goes with a select set.
He's a swell fellow, you bet!
If you don't know this man,
Visit room three, and soon you can.
PINTO POINTS
Reviving remnants of recent rov
ings over gridiron realms . . . The
roughest, toughest player with the
most envious ability of being able
to take it as well as dish it out: Os
car, the tackling dummy. The flash
iest team, Arlington . . . also to that
team goes the honor of possessing
the most intricate play seen this sea
son ... a triple reverse lateral and
forward pass, six men handling the
ball before the completion of the
play. The school claiming the most
uncertain schedule, Heppner. The
surprise team of the year, both as to
fighting spirit and weight, Fossil . . .
boasting an aggregation averaging
137 pounds that held Heppner to a
6 to 6 tie. The most ghastly rumor
concerning a member of the Hepp
ner football squad . . . that Dean
Gilman, frosh bullback, was residing
in the local county jail as the result
of a Hallowe'en prank. The player
whose absence from the Mustang
line-up proved to be a bad luck jinx,
Jackson Gilliam . . . his attendance
was required elsewhere on the dates
of two Heppner games, and the re
suits of that duo of battles were a
defeat and a tie for the local team,
Potentially, one of the greatest teams
in this section of the country, guess?
the most forgetful and over anxious
player, a member of the Hermiston
contingent . . . after having played
football for four years, this football
er, on entering the game, failed to
report to the proper official . . . this
act cost his team a five yard penalty
that was most advantageous to the
opposing team. The shiekiest appear
ing eleven, Fossil . . . with the nu
merous razor-thin strips of bristles
adorning the upper lips of several
members of that outfit. Season's
bone-head play, ??? ... guess again
Closest punting average between
two teams, Heppner-Hermiston .
27 yards, one and one-fifth feet for
the Mustangs, and an even 27 yards
for the Bulldogs. The team that will
probably, within a short time, close
ly resemble an eleven man moun
taineer unit, Condon . . . the Gilliam
county boys started the cultivation
of beards several weeks prior to their
game with Arlington, and swore
never to shave them off until they
stepped on Arlington's neck . . . the
soon-to-appear hill-billy boys lost
that battle, meaning that the two
schools will not meet again on the
gridiron until next fall. Most tense
moment in a game, so far as Hepp
ner was concerned . . . the attempt
by Heppner to make the conversion
after pushing over the tying touch
down in the Hermiston contest . . .
however, the kick was low and left
the score standing at 6 all. The most
upright, outstanding object of the
year, the lone erect goalpost that still
remained in place after part of the
Hermiston student body, wishing to
save the local athletic managers
some unnecessary labor, removed
the others from their rather unstable
positions in terra firma . . . perhaps
this may also be properly termed
the biggest pushover of the season.
The team most greatly handicapped,
Touchet . . . this school sent on its
trips, a traveling squad of only 12
players. The deep dark question of
the recent Hermiston skirmish . . .
what would have been the outcome
of that game if, on the try for point,
Heppner had attempted an end run
instead of kicking for the conver
sion, after Van Marter's touchdown
tied the score? The man who pro
duced the attendance-drawing foot
ball team that drew the largest ath
letic crowds to the Rodeo grounds
in many years, Robert Knox.
H.H.S.-
HUMOR
You Wouldn't Believe It
A backwoods mountanieer one day
found a mirror which a tourist had
lost.
"Well, if it ain't my old dad," he
said, a she looked in the mirror. "I
never knowed he had his pitcher
took."
He carried the mirror home and,
being rather ashamed of his dad's
"pitcher," he stole into the attic and
hid it. But his actions didn't escape
his suspicious wife. That night while
he slept, she slipped up to the attic
and found the mirror.
"Hum-um," she said, looking into
it, "so that's the old hag he's been
chasin'."
It Wasn't There!
The absent - minded professor
drove up to his garage door, looked
inside, and blinked. Then he leaped
into his car and drove like fury to
the police station.
Maybe the nation would feel a bit
more optimistic if the girls would
get their fingernails out of the red.
Hugh Crawford (Tuesday, 8:00 p.
m., at band practice) with yawn:
"Ho-hum, gosh! I wish this was Sat
urday morning and I was in bed."
'
Doctor: "Have you got any organic
troubles?"
Andy Davidson: "I think I have.
I can't even carry a tune."
Jeanette Blakely (at busy street
corner): "I shall certainly cross, of
ficer. I've as much right on this
street as that truck has."
Officer: "Sure you have, lady
but leave your name and address be
fore you start.'
Don Bennett: "How tall is that
native hunter?"
Norval Osborn: "About six feet
two in his stalking feet."
Diner: "Do you serve crabs here?"
Jack Merrill: "We serve anyone;
sit down."
Coach: "Suppose it was the fourth
down, on their 14-yard line, with the
score tied and three minutes to go
What would you do?"
Harry O'Donnell: "I'd slide down
farther on the bench to get a better
look at the next play."
Friend: "What is your son taking
up in college this year?"
Dad: "Space! Nothing but space!"
Lond-winded lecturer: :"If I have
talked too long, it's because I have
not my watch with me, and there s
no clock in this hall."
Voice from audience: "There's a
calendar behind you."
More advice to the Freshmen
wise and otherwise:
Never get your English, depend
on the teacher for a speech.
1 Skip gym when possible.
Don't buy typing paper; borrow it.
Don't walk down the steps; it isn't
necessary.
If you must study, study in Gen
eral Science.
Don't pay your class tax; it isn't
proper.
Always be like the sophomores;
mind the juniors.
The Question Box for the lovelorn,
dumb-bells, etc:
Dean Sprinkel: "Do small cows
give condensed milk?" "No, Dean,
condensed milk is made by trying
to get a quart of milk in a pint bot
tle, a very rare occurrence."
Joe Aiken: "I am in love with a
very homely girl, but she doesn't
seem to care for me, while a pretty
girl with a swell car is deeply in love
with me. What shall I do?" "Dear
Joe, marry the girl you love, and
send me the name and address of the
other."
Bob S.: "After graduation from
high school, I plan on buying a
small ranch and taking a wife. What
would you advise?" "Dear Bob, I
would advise you to be careful whose
wife you take."
Don Bennett: "Help ! ! ! ! I am
stranded in the middle of the Pa
cific with not a boat in sight. What
shall I do?" "Dear Don, our space
is up, but don't go away; we'll be
back again next week."
...
When all my thoughts in vain are
thunk,
And all my winks in vain are
wunk,
What saves me from a rocky
flunk?
My ability to study! (Ruth Green)
Did you know that
If permitted to do so, Indian ele
phants take three baths daily?
To start a freight locomotive, it
requires a ton of coal to get it at
top speed?
The oak tree is preyed upon by
more than 300 insects?
Humming birds cannot use their
legs for walking?
The Great Wall of China was built
in the third century B. C?
A load weighing 1,100 times its
own weight can be pulled by a flea?
China has been conquered six
times in her history?
Wings or flaps of the sting ray or
stingaree are used in New Orleans
in preparing a dish called Raie an
Eurre Noir?
About five quarts of air are con
tained by the average man's lung?
American boys prefer red as their
favorite color?
Red rain fell at Lake Garda, Italy?
(The phenomenon was caused by
dust kicked up by sandstorms on the
Sahara desert)
H.H.S.
Cranium Breaker
My father has a son who isn't my
brother. Who is he?
QUINTS "IDENTICAL"
Corvallis Scientists have conclud
ed that the Dionne quintuplets are
monozygotic, that is, developed from
a single egg, and thus correspond
to identical twins, reports Mrs. Sara
Prentiss, professor of child devel
opment at Oregon State college. Mrs.
Prentiss, while doing graduate work
in the east, was recently invited to
attend a special conference of scien
tists who visited the quints and
heard detailed reports on their prog
ress. The percentage of difference
among the five famous sisters is no
greater than that expected between
twins known to be identical, the sci
entists reported after many tests
and measurements. .
Mr. and Mrs. James Burnside were
shopping in town Tuesday from the
ranch in the Hardman district.
TRUCKING
ANYWHERE FOR HIRE
Two Trucks in Operation
Insured Carrier
Livestock Hauling a Specialty
Arthur E. Ritchie
Phone 212 lone, Ore.
Professional
Directory
A. D. McMurdo, M. D.
PHYSICIAN & SURGEON
Trained Norse Assistant
Office in Masonic Building
Heppner, Oregon
Morrow County
Abstract & Title Co.
INC.
ABSTRACTS OF TITLE
TITLE INSURANCE
Office New Peters Building
A Home for the Aged
Home-like care and surroundings
with graduate nurse in constant
charge. Inquire for rates, includ
ing room and meals.
Morrow General Hospital
Mrs. L. G. Rumble, Mgr.
F. W. Turner & Co. .
FIRE, AUTO AND LIFE
INSURANCE
Old Line Companies. Real Estate
Heppner, Oregon
Jos. J. Nys
ATTORNEY AT LAW
Peters Building, Willow Street
Heppner, Oregon
Laurence Case
Mortuary
"fast tie sezrlce wanted
when you want It most"
FOR BEST MARXBT PRICES tor
your new or old wheat, see
CORNETT GREEN
for grain stored in Heppner and
Lexington,
ELMER GRIFFITH
at lone for rest of Branch.
Representing Balfour, Onthrle A Co.
Phelps Funeral Home
Telephone 1332
Licensed Funeral Directors
Trained Lady Assistant
Heppner, Oregon
J. O. Turner
ATTORNEY AT LAW
Phone 173
Hotel Heppner Building
HEPPNER, ORE.
Dr. Raymond Rice
PHYSICIAN & SURGEON
Office
First National Bank Building
Office Phone 523 House Phone 823
Heppner
Abstract Co.
J. LOGIB RICHARDSON, Mgr.
BATES SEASONABLE
Roberts Building Heppner, Ore.
P. W. Mahoney
ATTORNEY AT LAW
GENERAL INSURANCE
Heppner Hotel Building
Willow St. Entrance
J. O. Peterson
Latest Jewelry and Gift Goods
Watches - Clocks Diamonds
Expert Watch and Jewelry
Repairing
Heppner, Oregon
Vawter Parker
ATTORNEY-AT-LAW
Phone 173
Heppner Hotel Building
Dr. Richard C. Lawrence
DENTIST
Modern equipment Including X-ray
for dental diagnosis
Extraction by gas anesthetic
First National Bank Building
Phone 562 Heppner, Ore.
Dr. L. D. Tibbies
OSTEOPATHIC
Physician & Surgeon
FIRST NATIONAL BANK BLDG.
Res. Phone 1162 Office Phone 492
HEPPNER, OREGON
W. M. EU BANKS
Representing
KERR, GEFFORD & CO., INC.
on Heppner Branch
V. R. Runnion
AUCTIONEER
Farm Sales and Livestock a Specialty
405 Jones Street, Heppner, Ore.
Phone 452
MAKE DATES AT MY EXPENSE
Frank C. Alfred
Attorney at Law
Telephone 442
Rooms 8-4
First National Bank Building
HEPPNER, OREGON
Peterson fir Peterson
ATTORNEYS AT LAW
U. 8. National Bank Building
PENDLETON. OREGON
Practice in State and Federal Courts
Real Estate
General Line of Insurance and
Bonds
W. M. EUBANKS
Notary Pnbllo
Phone 62 lone. Ore.
W. L. Blakely
Representing
Conneotlontt Mutual Life Insurance
Co., Caledonian Fir Insurance Co.
HIGHEST CASH PRICES FOR
WOOL HIDES FELTS
Phone 782 Heppner, Ore.