HEPPNER GAZETTE TIMES, HEPPNER, OREGON, THURSDAY, MARCH 10, 1932.
PAGE THREE
FOUR-H CLUBBERS
ROGRESS RAPIDLY
Wanted: Teachers of
Humor
I once had some correspondence
with the alumnae secretary of a
woman's college, an estimable lady
seeking to raise more money for
her institution, which it well de
serves. Our letters developed quite an in
teresting exchange of ideas on edu
cation, until I made the mistake of
sending this comment:
"I am a believer in women's col
leges, and I think they receive
much less than their rightful share
of legacies and gifts. But 1 some
times think they have pushed their
scholastic standards too high, and
are applying them too rigorously.
Two of the most successful and at
tractive middle aged women of my
acquaintance are college graduates.
They have been a source of pride
and service to their alma mater.
Yet, if the present standards had
been in force in their day, and had
been as arbitrarily applied, both of
them would have been thrown out
of college at the end of their first
semester. They were poor students,
but they are great women.
I added rather facetiously: "After
all, a majority of college girls are
going to enter the profession of
matrimony. My idea of a college
program would be to teach them to
look after their health, cultivate
their sense of humor, and then add
whatever amount of book learning
they could absorb without spoiling
their good looks."
This stopped the correspondence.
The lady regarded me as lacking in
seriousness, and wrote to me no
more.
Yet I have the temerity to pub
lish the comment, and to add this
firm conviction: that the world
does not need more knowledge as
much as It needs more humor.
Do you remember the famous
session of the Cabinet at which Ab
raham Lincoln presented the
Emancipation Proclamation? He
preceded it by reading one of the
humorous essays of Artemus Ward.
He laughed until the tears came
and then, looking around at his
associates and finding them all sol
emn, he exclaimed:
"Gentlemen, why don't you
laugh? With the fearful strain that
is upon me night and day, if I did
not laugh I should die; and you
need this medicine as much as I."
Do you recall the passage from
Stevenson In which he points out
that it is the little differences, not
the big issues, on which marriages
are wrecked? To look across the
table and see a blank expression on
your wife's face, when you are con
vulsed with laughter that, he says,
Is a test that few marriages can
stand.
I was in Mexico with Ambassador
Morrow when Will Rogers arrived.
I saw how wonderfully his humor
disarmed the suspicions of the
Mexican officials and opened the
way for all the good work that the
Ambassador did later.
Having all this in mind, I offer
two constructive suggestions:
1. That the President make the
following appointments: Ambassa
dor to England, Will Rogers; Am
bassador to Germany, Bugs Baer;
Ambassador to France, Irvln S.
Cobb.
2. And that John D. Rockefeller
or Edward Harkness establish and
endow at each leading college a
Professorship In Humor.
Annual Report Shows More Mem
bers, Clubs and Profit; Lane
Has Highest Enrollment.
Despite the difficulties adult far
mers are experiencing in "making
ends meet," some 19,119 4-H club
members of Oregon during the past
year carried on work with a gross
value of S227.901.20, which, after
deducting operating expenses, left
them with a profit of $91,543.84, ac
cording to the annual report Just
filed by H. C. Seymour, state club
leader.
The club boys and girls of the
state have evidently already ab
sorbed a truth which many adults
are just beginning to recognize
that the only way to make money
during low price periods is to lower
production costs. While the gross
value of the club work done last
year was $11,393.85 less than the
previous year, the net profit was
increased $3,361.67.
Club enrollment, too, picked up
nearly 25 per cent last year, in
creasing from 1711 clubs with 15,
355 members in 1930 to 2109 clubs
including 19,119 members in 1931.
Lane county again led the state
in number of clubs organized, with
a total of 276, followed by Marion
with 182, Douglas with 176, and
City of Portland with 174. Clacka
mas, Washington and Multnomah
were other high ranking counties,
while Wheeler was the only county
with no organized clubs. ,
Sewing clubs appeared to be the
most popular of the 33 different
kinds of projects carried, followed
REFRESHMENT
In my New England boyhood a
sign frequently seen on country
taverns was "Refreshment for Man
and Beast" You could feed your
horse and yourself at the same
time. Horses have given place to
the automobile and the filling sta
tion takes the place of the wagon
shed, while the food obtainable
along the highway varies, as a
rule, from bad to worse.
Ask any motor tourist how many
places he' found to eat where the
food was really palatable. He'll re
member them all; it Is no tax on
the memory!
With everything else becoming
standardized, the movement to
standardize food stations so that
the motorist can be sure, before
trying his luck, of what he is going
to get, was bound to come. One of
the big oil companies, operating its
own gasoline filling stations, has
made a deal with a large restaur
ant organization which operates a
chain of eating places in many
parts of the country. Light lunches
of good quality and real coffee are
served at the filling stations. I
can think of nothing better calcu
latetd to encourage motor touring.
AMERICA
While the "Star-Spangled Ban
ner" Is the official national anthem
of the United States, many more
people can sing "America," the fa
miliar song beginning 'IMy country
'tis of thee." That was written just
100 years ago, in 1832, by the Rev,
Samuel Fancls Smith, who was then
a theological student. He discov.
ered an old German tune in a col
lection of hymns, and In half an
hour had written the words which
are still sung, to fit the tune. It
was not until some time afterwards
that the same tune was adoped in
England for the national anthem,
"God Save the King."
GOLD
With their money depreciated
and their nation off the gold stnad
urd. the oeoole of England are
showing their patriotism by turn
lne in their gold jewelry and orna
ments to be melted up for money.
One noble duke gave up his coron
et, worth $50,000 in coin but many
times that In sentimental associa
tion.
Of course, the people who are do
ing this get the bullion value of
their gold in the form of bank
notes, but it strengthens their na
tion's financial position because it
puts the gold where it can be
weglhed and counted as a basis for
currency, which Is impossible when
it Is In Drlvate hands.
Gold is useless except as a basis
of monev. The debate on the Glass
Steigall bill, Just enacted, disclosed
the fact that only a part oi Ameri'
ca's gold reserve, the largest In the
world, was available for monetary
purposes, owing to a defect In the
original Federal Reserve law. The
new law remedies that defect, and
we won't have to give up our cor
onets, vet awhile, to keep our cur
rency issues up In sufllcelnt volume
for business neeas.
SILVER
Somers of Brooklyn of a resolution
for an International conference on
silver.
I am not sure that I agree with
my friend Rene Leon, regarded as
the foremost authority on silver,
that the demonetization of silver by
the British government In India in
1926 is at thebottom of all of the
world's present economic trouble,
but I do believe that the legaliza
tion of silver, up to a reasonable
percentage of gold, as a basis for
currency, would help to stabilize
finance and business.
At any rate, as I have often said
before in this column, sliver is
something Interesting to watch.
DUCKS
It looks as If the Twentieth
Amendment to the Constitution of
the United States would be one
which would change the date of
Presidential Inaugurations and
eliminate "lame ducks" from Con
gress. As things are now, we elect
a new President and Congress in
November, but their term of office
does not begin until March 4 the
next year. In the meantime, the
old Congress holds a session in
which defeatetd members, known
as "lame ducks," still sit
This is a hangover from the old
tage-coach, horseback days of slow
travel. It used to take three or
four months to get to Washington.
Both houses of Congress have
agreed to submit a Constitutional
amendment making January 3 the
date for Congress to meet with only
the newly-elected members sitting,
and the new President to take of
fice on January 20 instead of on
March 4.
This probably cannot become ef
fective before 1936, as it is not like
ly enough states will ratify it to
put it into force for 1932.
Early Chick Hatchings
Greater Than Last Year
Oregon State College, Corvallls,
March 9. Significant happenings
in the past week's farm market
news listed by the Oregon State
college extension service were the
reported Increase In baby chick
production, the arrival of a cargo
of Swedish butter at San Francisco
and the opening of the new lamb
market with a California shipment
Although government reports in
dicate that more chicks were
hatched in January by commercial
hatcheries this year than In Janu
ary 1931, the Information Is not
particularly important i with re
spect to pullet production, says the
report just issued by the college.
The - total number of chicks
hatched In January is relatively
small compared to later months
and are used to a considerable ex
tent for broiler production. Fewer
chicks were hatched in western
states in January this year than a
year ago.
Bookings of chicks in the entire
United States for dellverey by large
commercial hatcheries during Feb
ruary and later was reported slight
ly blow the bookings of a year pre
vious.
Pacific coast egg production, al
though showing a normal seasonal
Increase, is still about 25 per cent
below a year ago.
Lambs at Portland, during the
closing days of February, hit the
$5.50 mark for the first time since
December 1. Some new crop lambs
from southern California reached
San Francisco and sold at $8 per
hundred weight
For the first time this season for
eign butter entered Pacific coast
markets last week. Twelve thous
and pounds of Swedish butter sold
at San Francisco at 23 toe, despite
a 14 cent tariff and 2V4 cent freight
rate.
Dallas The advisability of elim
inating all low producing cows
from all herds so as to hold down
Toil, ohniit restnrinsr silver to Its the total volume of milk produc-
nlace as a basis of money Is being Hon was emphasized by County Ag-
h.i .vorvwhere. The latest move ent J. R. Beck, speaking before
In this direction is the Introduction I recent meeting of farmers In the
In Congress by Representative Elklns community.
by cookery, health growth, and
dairy calf clubs. Other projects
carried, include swine, sheep, beef
calf, dairy record, goat poultry,
corn, potatoes, garden, wheat, can
ning, homemaking, room improve
ment home beautilieation, rabbit
bee, farm accounting, farm me
chanics, rose and flower, forage,
marketing, pigeon, colt, art, nur
sery, handicraft, cucumber, orchard
care, and the newly standardized
forestry project
The greatest total value above
cost was realized by the dairy calf
clubs, followed by cookery and
poultry clubs.
Livestock Research Work
Centered at Two Points
Livestock experimental work in
Oregon will hereafter be concen
trated at two stations the Eastern
Oregon branch station at Union
and the central station at Oregon
State college, it was announced
following the arrival of Dale E.
Richards, new superintendent of
the Union station. Richards suc
ceeds the late Robert Withycombe.
Under the coordinated plan the
Union branch station will be devot
ed largely to study of problems of
the owners of range cattle and
sheep, the type of industry that
predominates through the Blue
mountain " region and along the
eastern slope of the Cascades. At
Corvallis will be concentrated prac
tically all work with farm flocks of
sheep, goats and hogs. Officials
believe this will meet the needs of
the entire state at reduced cost.
GOOD PAY STEADY WORK.
Several choice openings in cities
and towns for ambitious men and
women. Experience unnecessary.
We finance you if required. Write
today. Mr. Thomas, Superinten
dent, 426 Third St., Oakland, Calif.
EARLY SPUDS LOOK
BETTER THIS YEAR
Little Promise Seen in Late Crop
Opportunity In Grass Seed,
Clover, Corn, Flax.
It used to be said that the way
to grow high priced potatoes was
to plant cheap ones as most far
mers do just the opposite but
such doesn't appear to be the case
this year, warns E. R.-Jackman,
crops specialist at O. S. C, in re
viewing this season's farm crops
outlook. Every indication points
to poor prices on late potatoes
again next year, he says, provided
normal crops are produced.
"Farmers who normally grow a
certain acreage year after year
LJ06 6ISH tQJ$
1? JWj
JM WAY t SAVE OM
GOVERNMENT EXPENSES
WOULD BE To PAY
CONGRESSMEN OULY WHAT
1HEY ;oULD EARM OH
A REAL, JOB .
may well continue to do so," says
Jackman. "But this is a poor time
for a new man to Jump into the
business. .
"On the other hand, there appear
to be much better prospects for fair
prices for early potatoes," Jackman
believes. "The early crop In Cali
fornia promises to be greatly re
duced so that it would appear to be
a good bet for the potato grower to
devote more of his acreage than
usual to varieties to be dug as early
in the summer as possible."
Jackman does not stop with tell
ing what not to plant, but also lists
a number of seed crops that give
good promise, particularly in west
ern Oregon. Red and alsike clover
are the "backbone" of the seed In
dustry, and despite present low
prices, Jackman believes condi
tions are right for an upturn in this
business.
"The market still looks good for
Austrian winter peas," Jackman
continued. "Drouth in the south
had as much to do with poor de
mand last fall as the poor farm
prices. The acreage for next year
is way below requirements.
"Forget about the common Ital
ian rye grass, as there is too much
of it for present conditions, but we
could grow some English rye grass.
English rye grass, orchard grass,
tall oat grass, chewing fescue and
meadow fescue all offer good re
turns and are cheap crops to grow.
There is no reason why Oregon
couldn't be producing these crops
at the rate of some $300,000 a year."
Corn and seed flax also provide
possibilities of profitable expansion
in many sections. Corn could re
place potatoes or spring grain on
thousands of acres without danger
of oversupplying the local north
western market Seed flax has an
assured market in Portland and
will do well when properly cared
for on much western Oregon land.
IRRIGON
MRS. W. C. ISOM.
A surprise party was given at the
home of Mr. and Mrs. J. A. Ora
beil Saturday night honoring Mm.
Grabeil, it being her 73rd birth
day. Besides home relatives and
friends, Mr. and Mrs. Irvln Chap
man, Mr. and Mrs. Mac Grabeil,
Mr. and Mrs. Smith Jordan and
Mr. and Mrs. J. Berry, all of Uma
tilla, were present Mrs. Grabeil
was the recipient of many lovely
presents. A delicious luncheon was
served. The guests departed at an
early hour after best wishes were
expressed for many happy returns
of the day.
Roscoe Williams has taken
charge of the Tum-A-Lum Lumber
company's office at Umatilla for an
Indefinite time.
Mr. and Mrs. Roy Horner and
daughtetr, Mrs. Horn, from Enter
prise, arrived here Friday and have
taken possession of the Glenn
Woods place.
Mr. and Mrs. C. B. Horner moved
onto the Jack White place Friday.
Mr. and Mrs. E. F. Browning left
for Vancouver, Wash., where they
will make their future home.
Jess Oliver and Fred Markham
are shearing sheep in the Echo vi
cinity. Mrs. Gerald Land, who has been
visiting her parents, Mr. and Mrs.
Edwin Wilson for several weeks re
turned to her home in, Portland
Sunday.
Mr. and Mrs. Ash of Umatilla
were in town a short time Sunday.
Mr. and Mrs. Irvin Chapman of
Umatilla were Sunday visitors of
Mr. and Mrs. Wilbur Stevers.
Mr. and Mrs. E. Stegmiller of
Walla Walla were week-end guests
of Mr. and Mrs. Roscoe Williams.
Mrs. Clara Smith and Mrs. Frank
Fredreckson were calling on Mrs.
W. C. Isom Saturday.
MacMarr's Annual Spring
Canned Food Sale
IS HERE
Four days of values you'll never forget.
The finest foods throughout the world
are at your disposal through MacMARR
STORES. Look over the list below and
take advantage of these low prices. Stock
your pantry shelves now.
BUY and SAVE!
MaeMairir Uteres
EKSCL VWAVK N CI VJ I IOO-
Wm 'I 1DKVr!V Sack
EBBS HEPPNER, ORE.
Inc.
SUGAR
C. & H. Menu. Pure Cane.
lb. $ A -98
MILK
Federal Brand. A Western
Product.
.09
CASE
48 Cans
3
PRICES EFFECTIVE FRIDAY, SATURDAY, MONDAY, TUESDAY, MARCH 11-12-14-15
COFFEE
MAC MARR, 3 Lbs. 89c
ECONOMY, 3 Lbs. 59c
RICE 10 lbs. 55c
Macaroni aHO lbs. 45c
hi A A I TT American
MALI M.llSyrup
3 Cans $-
a Fancy moist , . 4
UOCOanUt long shred Lb. Zoc
Baking Powder
3 Lbs. Crescent ... 75C
2i Lbs. Schilling's 99c
Prunes
Oregon tree ripened
10 LBS 59c
Crackers
Snowflake or Grahams
22-Lb.Box
2 FOR ...tie? Is
Catsup
fhway Tomato Catsup
Highway
PUNT
BOTLES
53c
Lard 8 p5i 83c
Bacon edbaSn Lb I
HA n Concentrated Large
ff l - Soap Powder - Pkg. O C
Harmany Best O
O03D aundry- ltfloats Bars OyQ
California Q- O
VyllVGS Ripe Olives Cans
MAYONNAISE . . hQc
Best Foods Quart Jar
SYRUP
Max-l-mum Cane and Maple table syrup.
Best Quality.
O -LB. CAN . 69c
10 CAN Si. 29
OYSTERS 3 Cans
Cove Oysters. 5-oz. Cans.
SHRIMP 2 Cans
Southern Pack. 5-oz. Cans.
SALMON 3 Cans
Alaska Pink. No. 1 Tall.
jjvj c
FLOUR
MacMarr Hard Wheat Flour.
It la better.
49. sack .. 81.09
BARREL
(4 SACKS)
S4.25
BEANS -25 lbs. 95c
RAISINS .s unmaid Seedless 2j.-b. ptQ 35c
Brooms
Medium weight, 4-tie, fine quality,
well sewed.
Each . . . . 49c
Peanut Butter
Rich, smooth flavor.
2 Lbs. . . . 25c
Brolt.n i.etiom in lyrup
2 1-2 Size
PINEAPPLE
PANCAKE FLOURt"o,0R
Vegetables
Peas, Corn, Beans
No. 2 Tins
Hominy, Kraut
Pumpkin
New Pack, No. 2V6 Tina
10
TINS
Case (24 Cans) $2.33
98c
GALLON
GOODS
NO. 10
TINS
PEACHES
APEICOTS
TOMATOES
BLACK
BERRIES PUMPKIN
CAN
8CansI.OO
l.00
Corn Meal
White or Yellow.
9-Lb. Bag . 29c
Toilet Paper
Zee High Quality Tissue. Each roll
individually wrapped.
9 Rolls . . 49c
PHONE 1082
HEPPNER, OREGON
FREE CITY DELIVERY