HEPPNER GAZETTE TIMES, HEPPNER, OREGON, THURSDAY, APRIL 18, 1929.
PAGE THREE
-VTW yTnEnXUSTWATED Bf FRANK. P. PRVKWl)yv, 1
First Installment
CHAPTER I.
What's the Use?
Grandmother Page refused to
budge. I turned her over again, but
there was no sign of life. I squirt
ed gasoline Into her cylinders, but
she didn't seem to care for It
As you may have surmised Grand
mother Page is a relation of mine
only by adoption and purchase. She
originally was created and assem
bled by the Page Motor Company
of Detroit, but that was go long ago
that her years fully entitle her to
the title of "Grandmother."
She has had a hard life, too. For
four years she has been going near
ly everywhere that I go, and for a
long time before that she was the
traveling companion of a suburban
real-estate man who could sell gold
bricks to placer miners. I suspect
that he taught her some of her de
ceitful tricks.
It must have been from him that
she got her love of the country. She
revels in green fields and running
brooks and sand-banks and mud
holes. Whenever she finds one she
always wants to stay there all day.
The farther it is from the city the
better she likes it.
I personally am fonder of the city,
and when she decides to remain all
night on some road fourteen or fif
teen miles from anywhere I have
sometimes walked home rather than
share the sylvan solitudes with her.
Under my breath I murmured:
"Durn you, Grandmother," and hit
the engine a vindictive tap with a
monkey wrench.
"Maybe there is no gasoline in the
magneto," suggested Maryella, who
had watched my struggles from the
front seat
1 made no reply. When some one
begins offering me suggestions after
I have tried every known trick on a
stalled motor I And that the only
way to preserve my reputation as a
gentleman is to keep absolutely si
lent Even Maryella, whom I have been
trying for two years to persuade to
become Mrs. Tom Bilbeck, can draw
Are from me on such a dynamic oc
casion. "We've got to get home, Tom,"
she fretted. "There's a rehearsal
of 'Pygmalion and Galatea,' tonight
and If we're away they can't do a
thing."
No, readers, we are not actors. I
am positive of that Our stage
work receives mention only in the
society columns. We perform for
charity before people who have to
like us because we represent such
worthy causes. Whenever the So
cial Settlement sends up a yell for
funds we spend about a thousand
dollars' worth of time enticing Ave
hundred people to part with fifty
cents each to hear us forget our
lines.
When Belgium needs bread or the
Fiji Islanders run out of pants, who
comes to the rescue regardless of
consequences? The Sheridan Dra
matic Club!
And now we were doing "Pyg
malion and Galatea" for the Old
Soldiers' Home, which needed some
new window-shades or an electric
piano, I've forgotten which.
"Besides," continued Maryella,
shivering slightly, "It's getting cold
er, and I think I felt a drop of rain
a minute ago."
"That being the case," I observed
sarcastically, "we'll start."
"LetV she encouraged.
Grandmother Page and I repeat
ed our Justly celebrated repertoire
of tricks, from adjusting the spark
coil to putting gasoline In our eye
while lying prone under the tank.
Each separate adjustment was pre
ceded and followed by reduclng-ex-erclses
with the starting-crank.
"Jim Cooper has a self-starter on
his car," Maryella observed sympa
thetically while I was trying to
catch my breath.
"Then why," I Inquired In icy ex
asperation that I regretted Instant
ly, "why don't you marry Jim Coop
er, If you're so crazy about a self-
starter?
"Oh!" exclaimed Maryella, Inar
ticulate with rage at my remark.
"You have no right to Insult me like
that!"
"I didn't mean to Insult you,
dear."
I forgot Grandmother Page for
the moment in my anxiety to square
mvself for my tactical blunder,
It was the wrong move. My very
humility made her think that she
really had been offended In some
way, so Bhe dabbed at her pretty
eyes to see if she could scare up a
tear. She could not That made
her more angry.
"I know one thing," she stated,
clambering out of the seat. "I'll
never ride In your old car again as
long as I live!"
She started down the road.
"I'll walk home first!"
Why are girls of twenty so ador
able and why are men a few years
older such fools about them? The
answer to that question may explain
also why I followed her through the
dusk that was part twilight and
part gathering rainstorm.
"Listen, Maryella," I called after
her. "Be reasonable."
No response.
"You can't walk all the way home.
It's ten miles."
"I'd probably have to walk any
way," she observed dispassionately,
"so I might as well get started be
fore dark."
That remark about walking home
anyway was the crowning insult to
me and Grandmother Page. It hurt
the more because it was probably
true. I turned back angrily. She
motor. I had hardly expected a car
to pass that way. I had purposely
chosen a back-country road for my
drive with Maryella that day. This
machine was coming from town.
I looked at a turn of the road
around which it would presently ap
pear. Maybe it was a friend of
mine.
The car rounded the turn. I swore
under my breath.
It was the racing runabout be
longing to Jim Cooper. No situa
tion that I could imagine would
please him more and me less than
that in which we were placed.
He pulled up alongside of Mary
ella, who had proceeded about two
or three blocks before he arrived.
After a short parley she got In be
side him. I gnashed my teeth, but
thanked Heaven that I would soon
be alone to express my opinion on
automobiles, nature, human beings
and things in general.
No such luck. The car was com
ing on toward me. It pulled up
alongside of Grandmother Page.
Maryella looked off across the
fields on the other side of the road,
but the driver got down from his
seat and inspected Grandmother
Page.
'What's the matter? Won't the
engine run?"
Jim Cooper is the kind of a man
who would ask a question like that.
His sense of humor is very low, just
above that of an anthropoid ape.
When bromidioms were being pass
ed around he took one of each.
I'll admit that he is rather a good-
looking chap. His hair just escapes
being too blond and he has a wisp
of a mustache such as you see on
the men in the clothing advertisements.
Nature did all she could for the
outside, but let him go without fill
ing In the place which was origin
ally intended for a mind. What
ever people seem to be doing he
does without questioning whether
there is any sense in it He plays
golf because so many others Beem
to enjoy It, not from any love of
the game. He is one of Maryella's
admirers for the same reason.
Maybe I am prejudiced, but I
can't believe that he really appre
ciates her adorableness.
Maryella is flattered by his atten
tion, not knowing what a small
tribute it is. The fact that he asks
her opinion on every .move he
makes, from changing brands of
tooth-powder to buying a summer
home, caters to her love of power.
Are you sure you ve got gasoline
in the tank?"
Jim Cooper continued his ruthless
assault on the remaining Bhreds of
my temper.
The trouble Is in the spark," I
volunteered briefly, looking around
for a weapon In case he should ask
another question.
"Oh! Can I give you a lift home,
old man? Of course, there Isn't an
extra seat, but you could sit on the
gasoline tank at the rear. I think It
will hold you."
He surveyed me doubtfully.
A slight snicker from the lady In
the car spurred me to a quick refusal.
"No, thank you. I'll have my car
going in a few minutes."
"Oh! Misa Waite told me it
wouldn't go at all."
"Did she?" I murmured politely.
"I didn't know that she was Inter
ested." "Maybe we had better wait," he
suggested, "until you get started,
and follow you into town. Then if
anything goes wrong we can pick
you up along the road."
"Please don't," I urged, with just
a shade of feeling showing in my
voice.
"Just as you say, old top. I'd like
awfully well to help you If I could."
He got back into his car and in
sulted us once more with the sub
dued but efficient purr of his electric
starter. Then waving at me airily,
he turned about and disappeared in
a cloud of dust toward the city.
I sat by the roadside and told my
self that I was probably one of the
seven worst "fussers" In the United
States and the Dominion of Canada.
I had played my game like a fifteen
jeweled boob. The first rule for
making a girl eat out of your hand
is never to let her know when you
get mad. The second is not to be
sorry if you do. I had a blow-out
In both rules.
While I sat there it began to driz
zle, but I thought too little of my
self to care to move, so I didn't In
stead I recollected with delightful
pain how eminently desirable Mary
ella was.
Slim and slender and cool-looking,
she was obviously the handiwork
of a beauty-loving god who wanted
to show what he could do. But she
had eyes, dark ones, that came from
no heavenly work-shop. In them
there was a bit of temper, of daring
and an invitation to come along that
was irresistible.
If a man must lose his head over
a woman, Maryella's type offers the
utmost justification. If you had any
curiosity and a wee bit of nerve,
you made up your mind that you
would have to find out whether to
believe her eyes or the rest of her
face.
Up to that afternoon I had been
doing pretty well, too. Not having
money in bales, I had started
against Cooper with a considerable
handicap. He worked short hours
in his father's office, which would
eventually be his; while I plugged
away for a salary a good one, but
nothing that would make the mint
work overtime to keep up with me.
There is no use concealing what
my job is. A good many people
know already from having seen my
name signed at the bottom of a col
umn of alleged humor which I con
duct daily for a syndicate of news
papers. Any one who has read my
stuff knows that I work hard for
my money, especially when I write
verse.
Besides my syndicate work I do
all the big stories for the Dally Mail,
which is the principal morning pa
per in our city. It is pleasant, be
cause I do no( have to be in the of
fice constantly like a regular re
porter. When they need me they
send for me. When there is a big
political convention or a disaster or
a sensational murder I usually cov
er it
I had been offered a job as war
correspondent, but I declined. Just
because Irvin S. Cobb got back with
all his arms and legs attached is no
sign that they wouldn't be able to
hit the next fat man that went over.
When I was thoroughly wet
through so that it didn't make any
difference what I did, I decided that
I might as well start for home. It
would be more comfortable to die
Rope Climbing Champ
James Burfnn nf fh Isic A nr !
Athletic Dub is shown hauling him
self UD a niece of hprrm In win h
title ofchampion rope climber of the
worm, ne made the a foot climb itv
six seconds.
of pneumonia In my own bed. So
I got up and sloshed over to the car
to get my coat, which I had laid
aside when the contest between me
and Grandmother began.
Just by way of a passing expres
sion of my feelings I gave the crank
a turn.
"Bang!"
The engine started.
I Btood in the rain a full minute
longer to relieve my mind before I
mounted to my seat and steered
Grandmother Page back over the
sloppy roads to the city.
What was the use now?
(Continued Next Week)
Both the cows and the pasture
will profit If the herd Is not run on
it until the grass or clover has made
a good growth, says the Oregon ex
periment station. Too much of the
cow's energy is expended in finding
food on a short pasture, and the
crop itself Is often injured if grazed
too early or kept too short
Try a G. T. Want Ad.
PHONE
or leave orders at
Phelps Grocery Co.
Home Phone 1102
HEPPNER TRANS
FER COMPANY
Forget
Your Feet
Wear shoes that are
not only smartly fash
ioned but are spec
ially built to correct
and prevent foot trou
bles. Offered in pat
ent, Black Kid, and
the latest colors.
SELECT YOUR
"Diamond Arch"
STYLE TODAY
$3.50 to $7.50
E.N.Gonty
Shoe Store
Shoe Repairing Neatly Done
Oh, Boy!
They're
Good!
Have you tried our
delicious ice cream so
das, Sundaes, or milk
shakes?
Ice cold drinks of
all kinds at all times
at our fountain.
AND A GOOD
MEAL ANY TIME
ELKHORN
RESTAURANT
ED CHINN, Prop.
aillllllllllllMllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllillllllllllllllllllllllllllliiitiiiiiiiiiiHiiiiw
I FELT RUG I
I SPECIAL I
I 9 x 12 Feet $5.99 I
I 3x6 Feet... 99C i
I 15x27 Inches.. 9C
CASH PRICES ONLY
Case Furniture Co.
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ARE YOU PAYING TAXES
N A VACANT LOT?
Build a house on that lot and
enjoy a nice income from the
rent. Somebody will build
there some day, and whoever
does will make some money.
Might as well be you it's
your lot I
Let us VipI
and advice and when you are ready for the lumber
we will treat you right.
Heppner Planing Mill & Lumber Yard
A. R. REID, Prop.
Phones: Mill 9F25; Yard Main 1123
A
ZimBly Prices
mi ii ii ii ii v rrw ii ii t r-mi -9 n srrw
SPRING clean
ing time is here!
And the McMarr
Stores every
where are co
operating with
you by making
these timely of
ferings on clean
ing supplies that
make your task
easy and quick.
Super Valves fiNMllMn Stores
REMEMBER THE OLD STONE'S LOCATION
For
Brooms
$1.25 Value.
98c
C
Soap
P. & G. White Naptha.
10 bars 38c
r
Mop Sticks
No One Sticks
15c
Each
L
CRYSTAL WHITE
10 MRS 39c
BON AMI
LARGE CANS .. 13c
OLD DUTCH CLEANSER
O CANS 19c
SPRING CLEANING WEEK AT McMARRS
AMMONIA CLOROX BLUEING WHITE KING CITRUS
Pint Bottles Large Size Mrs. Stewart's Large 50c Size Large Size
10c 1 17c 19c 43c 25c
SIKGADS SKS- 1 7 lbs. $ 1 00
Corn
No. 2 Cans, Extra Standard
4 CANS 45c
Peas
Sifted No. 2 Cans
4 CANS 45c
Tomatoes
No. 2'2 Cans Standard
4 CANS 45c
FLOURWP
CpTTnCGoodCookers$1.19
jrUlUNettedGems,Sk. 1
A12QA1 yooOT
Phone 1082
STONE'S DIVISION "w "tei uidg.
trudired on. . .
Down the road came a purring