I
J
,
l -I Ml V HI
FIFTH YE Alt.
HEPPNEK, MORROW COUNTY, illEGON, THURSDAY, QCT. 27
7 F
1887.
NO. 240.
0
C
THE GAZETTE
ISSCSD IVltKt TUimaDK A1TEBNOO.W, Dt
J. W. REDINOTON,
At $t.5) per year, $1.50 for six months, $1 for
three mouths.
OREGON OFFICIALS.
Oovesnur
Hue. uf State
lYeiumrw
lupt. Instruction
Jud&e ttevcntii District..
UOItHOW
County Jndire
" I'oinuii.rduaer...
drew KixKi.
' Clerk ,
" Sheriff
" Tresiurer ...t...
Assessor
" Hurvcyor
" School Biip't
Coroner
fV Pjiirnyer.
(i. W. McBride,
U. W. Webb.
li. H. MrfKln.y.
J, II. Uircl.
COCHTT.
Wm. Mitchell.
,. Wru. Jd. Doushuw, An-
'. I. Andrews.
T. R. Howard.
Noblu.
J. M. Shelton.
J. J. McUtsl.
J. it. Sfmiley.
A. boy lor.
HKrPNTJK town omoEs.
Mayor , ..Henry lllsckmau,
t 'o-ineihuei: Turn Movsmh. K. K. Hvfc-iii.
burke. J. li. Spon-J, lilli. ILiuir, lieortfe, Ni-
kdeand S. r (Jtri ltfue.
Treasurer M. ('. McDohkuI.
siarslial J. 1. LorktiuMC.
Itecoruer V. J Hallock.
PROFESSIONAL
F. J. II ALLOC K,
1NSTJRANCK AOpNT, ltKI'IllWKNTS
Tlie Hume Mutual, the Old California, lluyal,
Narwicli-l'niott 4 Lancashire, aud (lie
Slate, of Salem.
i nt the Recorder's
"AlJion him at the Recorder's Offiue, Hopp.
J um-, when your policy expire.
WAGER 4 SKIPWOIiTU,
Attorneys-at-Law,
FcndUekin, : I Oregou.
Mr. J. P. Waver, of tlx" above firm, will here
urUfr ulliMid all tnuH of tbn Morrow eonnty cir-
alourt. All l;d Uuinrs intruntrd to thin
fceui wrli rwi prompt nod cnretul attention,
an , Wiib BKirwnHTH.
J. J. McGEE,
MiUIIW COUNTY OFFICIAL SURVKVO;!,
AMD
NOTARY - PUBLIC,
HardmaiL,
Orcijon.
' AND K'lVinK Done, Iiowd Instruments 1 rrawn
J ot.d Ollolin. made.
L.V. DARLING,
Notary Public ami Surveyor,
ClM10tf, GlLMAM COUNTT, OuEGON.
LAND FlLtNGiFINAL TROOr
a Hpeciulty.
tiWl.IiV'.CTlONH Made, and Deeds and other
Local Instruments driiwu. nlV4t
J. W. IlEDLNUTON,
Notary Tuljlic and Land A?ent.J
Oazetk . r.
X?1M linum rTctr1lli Hcljfihlo Com
V cnniKB. l)i.idB mid MortKimc drawn up.
DJi. A. J. KIIOBE,
Physician and Surgeon
AND
Justice of tho I'eaco, .
Pm-pNKii, .... Okeuon.
(?nT nn Main slrcot, firat dnor smith of
brwvrTT. .
L. F. SHIPLEY, M. D.,
PRACITITIUNEB Of
Medicine, Surgery and
Midwifery.
"iFFFKi'l'. nnnr VilV rxiilnw nn tho Mn rond
V) in llio north port of llvppnnr, Or. Otli'-o
hourx. Icnni ft to It i. M., Hud from I to 3 P. M.
CHAS. M. JON EH1
. In the
Matfoelc Builtling, St., Hrpjtncr.
In now ruruing out HUaviw, SlmniiKimi iid Hair
cut ill thn hiuhunt ntylo of thn nrt.
L I B E li T Y
MEAT MARKET,
irm. J. McATFE, Proprietor.
l.MJKSH 11KKF, MUTTON AN'll POKK TON
I otniitly on himd Ht niiwinnlilii priri; nlw
ifJoicnn ruid wirk wiiumwc, hiiid o(utH ito.
Wow RmI Front, Muiu Mrwl, lloppnor. I"
City Meat Market,
cNOKTII HI UK MAIN BTKKKT, HEl'PNhH,
Keep on hand a full tt)Ijjof Frcnh
and Corned lit ef and Fork, Frank Mut
ton, Siwhij Tn'iH Ktc.
C. E. HISTOX, PROPRIETOR
4 S. DUH1UN & HONS,
IvH'kvillo, (lilli.uu County, : Oregon.
T HE AS UK Y DEPAK'niENT,
Offli Corn pt tidier of tht Currency,
Wahhinotom. Aninwt Uht 17.
Wtrow, by wiimfiM-tory t'tidrmv pnnttnl to
tht nittru:nM it Itm bwn nui1 ui nptuvir that
Tlw t'rM Stifionnl Itetik tf tlrpiuitT, in tht
Taw ii of HeiuHnf. in -lit t 'onttv of Morrww. nntl
HtAfe' f OnnpHi. hn coniplifd with h11 tin pnv
TiviouK f ihe SiniuCtw tvf 1m I'liitinl titatr, n
4tiit k b" nut plii Willi b"fon an is.M,kmtioii
itiMtU b mUhortnti v oiiuntht tht busm of
Nnw.lhf'fnio, I. Willi am I..Trnh"lm,t'omi-
Th Kint Nutioiml Iktnk of ili'pJMtfr," in th
Town of Ht'Dnrr. in liio rm-niv of Morrow, an
of On'tf'tn. m aiithortml in ctrHmiir the
nf hnntirvl ntl (tty-nni( uf KotihwI
8mtutior Hit Vnitftl Stntw.
In tmiiinHii wlirtf witnww mv hand nn
of otticv thw Kh liny of Aiwtutt,
187
W. I- T1IKNHOI.M.
I'omptroUi-r of ttie Cnnwrry
r r HUT A.. M-n-lmntrt' Kxcltttnev. Km Fran
I. ctikoo. rl.. kwi tin taper un tir
rv KOCKYILLE
STOCK
mm
Absolutely Pure. -
Tliis Tjowtlcr n(T(r vario. A marvel of imrity.
rttAtiiKtti ui:d wholtmoniviKMH. Mom rotfiiiii(W
tlmti ilio ordinary kit;dn. aud cunr.ot bo ttuld in
(miptition with Iht mullititdo of low tent, uliort
wwittht. almn or piifKphalt uuwdfrti. hof.Doni.T
iNOANrt. KulAL BAlilN(i l'OWDKIi CO..
JSWlVi HX Wall btrwt, X.
PETER O; BORG,
Hurrxrat,
Okhook,
-11EA1J-.K in-
Watches and Clocks,
Jewelry, Etc.
ALSO
GOLD TENS,
Amcthtjsi, Cameo and Diamond
m
Gold liinijs, Gold ami Silver
Waiches.
AND
All other articles nsnnlly kept in 8 Jew
elry Store.
IIRI'A IllhXG 'A SPECIALTY,
AND ALL WORK WAR
RANTED. STOKK opponiU' Minor, Dnnnn A Co' Mny Kt.
CALL ON
The Belvedere
SALOO N-
Oppoito thu lavory Utuhln,
Ifeppnerf - Orcijnn.
At tliia fiivorite renurt " ill always bo
fun ml tb lnst brandH of
WINES, IJQUOPH
J. YD CIGARS.
VK11WT-CH.ASS Hilliard Table for tho amuse
ment of iruuxirt.
E. NOHDYKE,
Tine Wagon Artist,
Mny bo fonud nt lti hop on
Main Street, : Ileppner.
Ht wnrkH nn Ininttw into nil kind it' wniron
work nnd ronton U hwilth wamm Hpimn-nlly
pnrit mlomption, boid doing all kildtf of wotnl
Ed L. MBGKri.
AVm. G. Scott.
ow trcoK OTI
Meeks Sl Scott,
rroprietorn.
Sixlopn miles from IToppner, 0ood
lioiuU and" Plenty of Lumber.
a. r. flouknci. i rummtoz
FLORENCE BROTIIE1B,
STOCKUAISEKS !
HEPPNEK, - - - Dim ION.
(At tie bratnb'dnnd cjtr-nmrkiMi a. shown ftttove.
HnrHttt K on rinl't himtdr.
(htronttlt rniitf iu Morrow, GiUmm, TmiUillA
And WftMfif crtiintirft. W will my l(Hl.(Nt rn
WAni ftir tn arnMl and ouuvu'tion or any penntn
at mli it k our attK'k.
NOTICE OF INTENTION.
Und Office at Tlie Hailed. Or.. Oct. Vi '87.
Notice i hereby Kiren that ttie folio winp-Hml
xetllor hni tiled nolto f ho intention to imtk
final proof iu .upport of hi. !xiih, and Itmt naid
prof will Iw niniie beforw tim e.imsy etrnk of
Morrow oonly, tlreon, nt liip!ier, Urvtrou, on
Not. "JS, lJ, via:
Cki.. . Jithnstin,
P8 for the N i N K 8-r. , and W 'i N
VV Sec IS. 1' S. ti K. W M.
Htniun the foUowiun witnenwes to pr)nhi.
eoiHlttuou. renuit'iiee upou, and cultiTHUon of
Wild Und. vis.
t'hnriMi llnttiniP. PeterGniner. of Gonnobnr
rv, ifcTi. Knmuel tiherkiu.. M. P. Gherkin, of
Kurht MiK 0n.
ii-W F. A. cDos.UJ). Register.
THAT WALL STREET NAPOLEON.
Dili Njr DfiM-antu on the 1 Inanely
Ideas of Mr. Ie.
UE present arj
may be regardtxl n
the nge of inri-sti
Katlou. Tbi mor
bid curiiity on tin
Iirt of the AuutI
can jicople to kuo
bow largo fortumt
are ncqulred in t
Lealthy hign, one
tho drlro uf tilt
prs as WT-H an tin
iieonle t luvaiti
(tnte the parlor maglo and funny bus(ntsa bj
which a man can buy two mlllloni of dollnrs'
worth of stock iu the Aurora Comalix without
paylnt; for If, stick a quill Di It and inflnte th
Ktoek Uo twenty mlllionx, then In.rrow thirty
fivo mllliouH on the nt-w stock by boomiiiR It,
In the cam of Mr. Iven, the gentle, poliu
failure to remember, the caramt desii-e uol
to tell a lie or anything else, the courtMut
mid unobtrusive fffort to avoid liclng toe
IKuiitlve alHiut anything that would asnisl
anybody In ascertaining anything all" all it
interiMtlng.
Tho convemntion during the Investigation
3rno day ran nomothitig llkj thb:
"Mr. I VIM, did you tu making your tusign
ment ttirh over oil tlie books connected with
your buniurtiif
Do you moan my Iliiraryf
"No; the hooks of account, the day book,
cash liook, ledger, etc., etc"
"Ohr
"I ask If you turned over all such boots on
the date of your nasifrtuncntf
"I could hardly tell that At Iat, I would
only war on Information and lielief."
"Woll, to tlie best of your knowledjro and
tieltnf, dtd you turn ovur thono books at that
titaer
- ' I think I did, but I am not porftlvi aa to
the date."
"What maltea yorl thfnk yon dlrtT
"Because I did fretjijotitly turn the book!
over, in order to see bow Uicy looked ou the
other side,"
"Mr. Ives, wt'flnd that sovcral of the more
lniiortant books connected with yourofllca
ond tlio firm of floury H. Ives & Co. aft
liiff big. Dm you know where they aref"
.o, I dn not"
"Were thoy tn your ofll'V prior to your o
slnnientr
"Oh, yes, they were there, according to th
lirstof my knotrledfre and belli.' f, up to tlie
tl:no that thoy were not there."
"IIave you any idea, Mr. Ive, where those
books are nowf"
"No, sir; only fn a (roneral way."
"ilow do you moan in a general way!"
" Well, I momi that I know oirly iu what
tn'ght lie called a p'nei-al way."
"Well, Mr. Ives, will you staoe tVen, In a
general way, where those hooks arc now f"
"Yes, sir; they are elsewhere."
"What ninlfts you suy they are elsewhere,
Mr. Ives?"
"Hocauso thoy are not there."
" Well, now, will you tell ns wheth yon
rumored (im brx)ks frmi) tho ofllce ofTI. 8.
Itfli & O. or notr
' Do you ask me to nnawor that question
personallyr
"Yi"
'0o you wlh a verhal answer or would
you rathor have it 111 wrltbigr
"Answer oi'aUy."
"Well, then, I did not, lo my knowledge.
"Would ynu hare been apt to know of it if
you had taken them away yourself J"
"Well, only in a general way."
"Would you have known about It If any
ono eise had taken them awarl"
"Itl:ink Iwoull, bull might not. There
was a Great deal of passing along mir street,
and they may have been taken while I was
looking ottt of the window, walling till tho
crowds rolled by."
And so Mr. Ivra continued to shed Inform
ation upon the Inquiring mind In a courteous
and opaque manner that must have endeared
him to all.
Mr. Ives has In no transaction shown him
self so thoroughly shrewd as he did when be
swapped a doubtful reputation for a largo
sum of money. The only wonder la that
there were so many men who wanted to in
vest in that kind of good. Ho did a shrewd
thing, but be will not bo able to profit by It
New York World.
A Completo 8nreess
"Ilow do you liko your new type writer!"
Inquired tho agent
"It's immense!" wag the enthusiastic re
spouse. "I wonder how I ovor got along
without it."
"Well, would yon mind giving me a Httle
testimonial to that etTcctr
"Certainly not; do it gladly."
So ho rolled up bis sleeves and In an In
credibly short space of time pounded outthis:
"afted Using thee nutomatig Back-actionn
atyi writ.er for tbre einonth? an d Over: 1
Uiihesitattlnigl.y pronounce it prnno nee it to
be"al ad even more than th e Manufacture
claim ! for it. Puring the time been in our
posessio n c. I, th reo monthz! Id has nore
Hi nn thifn paid paid for itjelf in the Saveing
oV Hine n d labrr"! John 1 Snith
"Tliore you aiv. sir."
"Thanks," said the agent, dubiously. New
York Bun.
The Modern Rplrlt
Prink and the world drinks with you.
Go thirsty, you thirst alone:
A nd every friend with a dollar to giend
Han most impecunious rown.
Fl'rt -and all omen flirt with you.
Ixve, and yoifrv loft in the cold!
And tlie one tliat did seem tho delight of your
dream,
Turns braMO and brutal and bold
Sin and tlie crowd sins with you.
Itepent tbey lauch and they jeer!
E ra if s.xl you drink, they complacently thlrdt
You ve been toying with whisky or bser
cIJvend lif woithyall love you...
, fiif and you rot forjrot : . -
And your uel girl will spoon with your enemy
TJjlit over your burial spot.
I.te and the public admires you.
II do in these verses now :)
lUtt never forget that a lady wears yet
tuu poeny crovo on ln-v brow.
Exxa Wixxxxa Wxxxxx.
VUliam C S. Fale in Journalist
'
fIVATB l! j'1 A
LA'OUS.
The plumlier l out of sj,.'ti, and every
boly is glad of it lleici.n't I'm velar.
The punstoin have f orgott. to say that the
oldest wonuiti on record L igif ty Dili' Wan.
Merchant Travoler.
It is whlsjiered in a New 'orlj pnjvr that
certain ladles of that city, a. u yery fond of
playing ioker. It's an iroir m; of course,
and their husbands are lit 'en, ho get
beaten in tho game. CIuirlKm Enterprise.
Smith I hear Mrs. B. ha. iitnmed from
tho country. Brown Yes, thn melancholy
days have come, the snddcs'..: the year.
Benton Budget
It is a singular thing tha1; :i :nan never be
ginstosbow his tenqwr til 'il he lows it
Boston t'ourier. j
"Y"es, Tin tlretl of lifn. I" ( .ilioutmndoup
my mind to commit suioi-le.' ij.'tiood scheme,
old fellow; have ainfther, y UbJ'V-w v
lilgton C'riti:. i, JIJ f
An iiiu iUMiltetor
Now, because you an yoiui? and romantlo.
You wonder 1 have not a wife,
And you hint at an episode fruniio,
A cliapter of lovo in my I fe.
I have floated far dowa oa time's river,
And yet 1 cuiifrss not a dr.rt
Little Cupid li t fly Uom hU quiver
Has hit my phlegmatic old heart
You Incredulous belti to doubt ft !
Well, bavn It your way if roll will.
You aro riiit. Auk me nauioro almut it.
Enough, that I loveii luro her stilt. "
No, she Is not a beantiftU creature.
But aho has a leaut:fulsouJ,
And lt praee, shinini; out in cuch feature,
Trajiaforuis and iounuuea the whla
"Why not merry her then? It In clearly
Gley-r folly such fe.!hi(r to smother."
I shall love her fort-viT sincerely.
Cut, mini, con I marry -my mother?
Judjo.
Blmple Eunuti.
Omaha Groom Well, my deir, the wed
ding tour Is finished and here we are in out
new home.
Bride But, George, the servant gtrl who
was to lo Imro baa not arrived.
"I eee. It's loo lato to hunt up another to
lay. 1 suppose you cau gi.t bupier, ciui't
you r m
"Of course. Go out and buy some stenk.
not too rare, with imi-hrixjttis and Fnuut
potatoes nr.d iced cake and not wi.fil 's, nnd
I II set the table while you re gone" Omaha
World.
Down on Maw.
A hov wns sliouiing "Kirel" In a lustv nmti-
ner In front of a house on Fourth avenue the
other day when a iK'desti lati huiTiod up and
a-kotl where the lire was.
"Hain't uny." "Then what are yon veiling
fori"
"To git maw to tho door. Shu's Just got
her balr done i:p In curl tuners, and whon
she sticks her head out nnd khows it to the
neighbors she'il hi moil 'null to ci y." De
troit 1' reo Press.
The rxumple of Washington.
"RemcmlK'r the exnniplo of Ceorge Wash
ington, my boy," enld tho careful fatlior.
"Who was Oe.irge iWushinston, papa!"
qnerlerl tlie hnj-ful. ,V-.'T
" hr, ho wan the mail who couidn t um a
lie, of course."
"What was Ibo matter with blm couldn't
he talk r
There wns much anxiety In tho parental
mind as to tho youngster's future. New York
Mercury.
Words That Change Meaning.
Bagloy It Is passing strange how so many
words get t'.visti-d from their original mean
inz. Tor instance "lot" useil Ui meiii "hin
der." Mrs. B.igley I hnva a better example.
"Collect" UMd to menu "to gather;"
Baglcy fsurprised) That's what It means
now. -
Mrs. E.iglcy (poiltlvcly) No, i doesn't
Ask Ibe gnrbuge collectors. Philadelphia
Call.
Lessons of Experience.
Omaha Editor Anything startling today!
Xw Editor No, not a single initio :d
catastrophe since yesterday.
"Humph I"
"Yes, things are dull now. You see It's
between seasons."
"Uetwoen seasons!"
"Yes, tho summer excursion season Is about
over and tho etr stove season hasn't ojioued
vet.'" Omaha World.
The Only Way Now.
Omaha Man Of nil ixunons! 7.'hen did
you cross the Atlantic, (leo'sol
English Lord Kuih! Harry, don't speak so
loud. Cull mo Blinks.
'Blinks, oh! Bay, George, what means
this maMinerailingr
"The fact is, llnrry, I'm in love with an
American girl nnd am trying to pass myself
DlT for a iespectaldecltia.il. " Oruulia World.
Pa nnd the Children.
A small boy. Tommy Fotorhy, who Is one
of a family of ten, was ta en out in the fam
ily carriage w ith bis mother. As they drove
past a small eottage of thns) rooms Mrs. Pe
torby romarkisl how protty It lookctl.
"Yes, it looks very nice," said Tommy,
"ami it wouldn't Iss a bit too big for our fam
ily if it wasn't for pa and the children."
Harper1! Magazine. ' " -
A nrllllaut Idea.
"Haven't you missed tho theatres this 'Aim
merr said ono baldheaded man to another.
"I know yon aro a great odiiilier of th
ballot."
"Yi, I did miss them until a happy thought
struck me."
"What was that!"
"I wont down to tho seashore and took iu
the bathuij tieacliea," Washington Clitic
A Statural Inquiry.
"Who'll we put np for rongma this year!"
sskol ono Irs-el stateKiunu of another.
''General Dashem. He's bound to be
elecbsl." i
'Can be command vft "sf1
"You bet be can; moru tliau any other man
in this district"
"How much is be worth !" Merchant Trav
eler. A Passing Cloud.
Omnha Wife (madly, desperately, fero
ciously) John, I found this hair on your coat
collar.
Husband I rode home in a crow ded sti-eet
nr.
"Oh!" Omaha World.
The Plainer the IJettrr. 1
"That is certainly tho ugliest pug dog I ever
caw," said a busliaud whose wife hail led
home a recent purvhs-e.
"Yes," said the lady, rnp'urons'y, "that Is
the Iienuty of the dear little fellow." New
York Bun.
Religion as She Is Known.
Teacher Can anyone help Johnny to finish
the fourth conimandineiu !
Bmali Boy Yeth'm. -Ar.d the Iird blethed
the Thaturriay aud made it a holiday.- Life.
LITTLE
GALLANT ST. VINCENT.
flow lie Flew tu the Assistance of a
Lady.
So you liko to fly to the assistance of the
young lady in distress! of course you do
nil young men do Mr. Percy St Vincent, of
SiVux Kails, MSha but not so well hs he did
before a recent harrowing exierlence.
Percy St. Vincent is one of our most ex
pensive and highly polished socioty young
nam. Ho has the rocks, too. His father ii
president of fouflwnks, treasurer of half a
dozen loan and trust conqinnitw, and onus an
Interest iu a comer drug store. Oh, Percy
grades up well socially and financially.
However, that doesn't prevent his ls?lng
somewhat gone on Miss Amelia Robinson,
one of our most bewitching, society lielles.
But, then, that's all right, for Amelia is a
stunner. And her father is well heeled, too.
But there isn't any need," -'fair beating
around the bush and tnkhigf t0 R
sliiorl story we aren't i !e r01' 'or
lLaet. rjatirrJay'afteriioon Amen wiuTdriv
Ing nlong the principal street of our city with
her father's enrrise aud a large blonde
horse. She was alone. The horse saw a
linker's wagon and liegan to shy. Amelia
gave a lady like little scream and said: "Oh,
please, won't somebody help me with this hor
rid horse!-1
Percy heard it. Ho calculated tlie accident
was worth J KM to him.
Ho hastily pulled his hat off and tapped his
vest pattern a couple of times with it as a
Aifokeii of recognition, ajul rushed out
It were hotter fov thift horse," thought
Tercy St. Vincent to himself, "th.it he had
never been Isirn. I will throw him down and
sit on liiiiil
Did hel Ah, hat rwid on ornd 600 this is
no place to stop and ask questions.
Percy gniblnil the horse by the (lt with,
both hands ami gave him a powerful Jerk to
stiu-lioard. it seemed ns if thnthorso kept on
his f'j't remarkably well.
Percy started to give It to him again when
tho borne rose up on his hind legs. Percy
hadn't noticed before nt the hoigi was eight
feet high. And he never knew tm then that
a horse is six times us high whon he guts up
on his hind legs as when he stands down iu
travoling attitude. Percy noticed all this be
cause he kept hold of tho bit and went up
wilh the horse. You'd have noticed it too if
you'd been np commanding a view of the
KitofIli-o, the Detleit National bank nnd the
electric light pole.
Percy was fund scenery and he gazed
on theooera house and hose tower and
enjoyed himself.
Tlie home came down aftor a wblle, but he
went up atfain. lie seemed to la the greatest
liorso to riso up and it Ids cliiu on the tele
graph wii-va tiiat Percy iver saw.
And part of the lime he was shaking his
head, like u dog when ho gets tKiid of a cat,
and nil the time he wns striking at Percy
wilh hit fore feet o that he daren't let go for
fear the hoia would charge on bhn and hit
him.
-la-la
PEItCT IH THK OtTTTEH.
And Miss Ameliascivaniliig,
slrl
screaming like a Hottentot!
And occasionally hitting tho horse with the
whip and pul lug ou the wrong line.
It wns getting serious. The horse was be
ginning to turn around. IIo wns getting Ids
noso higher up In the air every time he elcva
tl himself. Percy thought ho caught little
frightened views of Oiualiu, Neb., once or
twice.
And tlio men on the sMownlls werill gi ln
nliig dialsilical, heathenish grins. Every
me of them hud been mad at first because
Percy bad got ahead of them in goiug to her
re-cue, but now nothing but grins and an
occasional mocking laugh. And one man
rolled: "Throw the boss over yer shoulder
;rnck him over yor shoulder an' break his
jack!"
What did Percy hoar n.xtl Grent heavens,
it was so the shrill vnli-o of Miss Amelia:
'For pity's sake somebody inukc tliat fe. low
let my Lnrse alono!"
O death, where is thy sting!
Just thou a big policeman got Percy by tho
ihoul lersand pulled him away and snt him
lowu iu the gutter. Tho polii-eui.in got Into
tlio buggy to drive for Amelia, and Percy
saw her lookup thankfully into the big po-li.-einan's
eyes, and heard her say: "if the
big fool bad left my horse alone we would
'inve been all right Wh-it was he trying to
lo, anyhow f Dakota Bell.
An Oil&hajggtJJjjic.
Detroit Maiden Paa says I shall never
marry such a spocuueu of humiaiity as you.
Ain't be horrid!
Ouialia Youth What in creation has . got
into your father all of a sudden! Lost Run
day, when I went to your church, ho was
particularly bind aiul tolJmo always tocomo
into bis pow.
"Yes, but yon went to the baseball game In
tho afternoon."
"Great Casar! How did be find that out!"
"IIo was there himself, and said he knew
from the scratches you applauded that you
hadn't the first idea about the game." Oma
ha World.
Ilnew Borne One Would flnffer.
Anxious Wife Doctor, what do you thbik
U the matter with my husbaud!
Physician Oh, he has an attack of gastric
fever.
A, W. There! I knew that leak in the
piies would iujuro some of us before it was
stopped. Boston Budget
IjOva's Secret.
I.
What's tlie witching charm about her
That makes life spetrwlull without her!
Who caa tell
Purely other maiils arc fairer,
Other maids have beauty rarer.
Talk as wci.
n.
Ptill for w.e her conversation
Has tlie strangest fascination.
And her face
Day and night forever haunts me;
While her figure slight encliaats me
Yh?u iu grace.
m.
What's the reasoa 1 adore ber.
Heed ber whims, bow dow-n before her!
(Utile witch I
Serve her in and 'Kit o, season f
Y hi could never irjess tlie reason:
Sue is -ieh :
JouroriI of Education.
ST AVER '&
Carry the Largest Stock of the
Farm, "Dairy
M C IT 1 N" li) II Y !
Wagons, Bueilics, Buckboards and Carriaocs,
I
Binder Twine?, Belting, Oils aud Machine Supplies, Etc.
&IB9SS-
LGilJliliU KT"','Ji:'Ver'6'
FKS1I iRFK
Fodder Cutt3rs.SiliiilI
We take plensui'o in nnnouncing
owing to the rapid extension of our lmsinens, Tthiiyefound it neccs
snry to remove to more commodious premises, andliafe therefore'
lenseil tlie entire
New Market Theater
First St., and 28
POBTLAND, : : OREGON,
"Which will lie Headquarters in the Northwest for the best oE
everything in our line. It will pay all those dasiring nnytlitig in the"
line of Machinery or Vehicles to cull upon us or write to us for our
handsoruely-illuistrftted Catalogue, which is mniled free on application.
Branch Houses: Spokane Fulls, AValltt Vnllak Pullman, W. T.
LnOrande, Ogn, Moscow, Idaho. Good Goods, Fair Elites, Courteous
and Honorable Treatment Guaranteed.
STA.VMR &
T I M V
CJasaaav
OWNKRH RUPPIJKD WITH TKKK3, CUT.
times and seed of all suiti.ide kinds. Siit!
tlestions in gerniimuinR eetsl ai. I culture after
wnnlKiven. 1 will contract to till requirements
rf lsw to procure title Hiul furnish witness in
jSitJU final proof. Nineteen years i"iyTrXr
Wrev-fe iu Illinois and live in Oro- tiX2lSt'v
JCJ"5!-""1 of constant
jf7w iiik eiperience.
e"iuwivo pum -
C. E. FELL,
Hcppnvr Nursery, Heifmer, Or.
A TkfellsVpMfUolb
. fte tm may ehakn, the limb may treat,
The angry siro In dudgeon wake.
The hammock port asunder; J
While teasing maid, with tickling blade, '
Attempts, though momently afraid.
To stop bis nasal thunder.
His angry eyes with mail surprise,
Tho daughter's freak may rocogniae,
WhVll feign a quick contrition-.
At all event he seems to Is5
Through danger's ixissitiility.
In Ucklishsome position.
Texas Sittings.
The Woman with the Garden Tlose.
Beware of the woman with tlie garden
hose. Although she may be arrayed in sum
mer garb and look sweet enough to eat, at
last she biteth like a serpent and stiugeth like
an addor. That is If she is within reach of
you. And she generally is, allowing that you
nro not in the next comity. And if you are,
she has a female cousin over there with a
gardon hose also. A won an with a hose is
more terrible than an arm) ith banners. A
man whocontrollath his temry Li greater than
he t hut taketh a city, but no ioaii, neither the
sou of man, can control his temper and be
soaked from crown to toe by tlio woman who
is trying to sprinkle the lawn. There is no
lawn, no tract of land, no universe big
enough to protect tlie outside world from this
woman, even though she stands in the coiitor
of,it Give her a garden hose atnr'a good'
pressure and Noah will Is-gin to reconstruct
the ark, sending out his agents afu r samples
by twos of the horned cat tie and the la:s of
the fields, for lo! she Is a holy terror. Oil
City Derrick.
An lWerfTrtne Rlglit.
t3y, come over here!, said a traveling
man win was sunmiei ing at tho sea shore to
bis friend. "What have you struck!"
"The greatest snap yon ever saw. There's
a couple ovor thore spooning for all that's
out It's tlie worst case of gusby-gush I ever
saw,"
"Li that all! No, thank. I've lieen around
here too long to feel any intercut in the bill
ing and cooing of lovesick couples."
"But those issiple have lieeu married over
two years to my certain knowledge."
"Is it possible Let's go over and take a
look at them." Jlercliiiut Traveler1.
A Woman at the llottom of It.
That women thus slioul I seoM and grieve
At men fir aleo!olle slviki-s.
S'-em wronT. b-r w 11 we know tv-asEve
Tlt brst laJ auI.iVi do w it'.i t nik s.
W iiu-t.;u Critic.
WALKER!
very Best nnd Latest-Im proved
and
to our friends nnd customers thnt
Block, No's 27, 20, 31
and 30 Second St.,
AVALKII
E R
trne-irrow- tr
Corres- 'jr
iieu. vS
A Reporter's Klse
They tell a good story at the Press club
about one of the nautical reporters of Tne
Herald. Borne throe years ago there was a
young journalist employed iu the capacity at
a salary of 115 a week; a collision had oc-
I curred lietween two steamers and some livejj
Mill !
' 11
nau neon lost. 1 no young reporter wrote a
fiorid description, in w hich housed the words,,
speaking of tho moments when the vessel col
lidod, "tho scene that followed b(files descrip
tion." Young Bennett was at home and went
for bim.
"Why did yon not describe the scene that
followed, instead of saying that it baillojjjilg-,,,,
icriptioni" thundered tlie great man.
"Why, it did bafile ilesci intion."
"What do you m an, sir!"
"That it baffled the description of any f 15
a weole-reliorter."
Beuue t raised his salary. Now York
Truth. .'
Wn.'t Kati.flnd.
"What's the nationality of them!" said a
tall woman with a determined eye as she
pointed her parasol at the elephants in the
:ircus which recently exhibited at Bioux
Falls.
"African, mum," replied the man In at
tendance. "Awful light colored for coming from
Africa, seems to me," continued the deter
mined eyed woman. "And see here, yea
ust tell the owners of this show that I say I
think they've got a mighty poor lot of camels
-ll of 'em single humped except one. When
I pay fifty cents cosh for nfysdf and tL73
for tlie children to get in I want to see more
louble bumpers and less hair rubbed off of
'vm 'round iu spots I You just tell 'em what
Isavl" Dakota BeU.
The Spirit of the Age.
Omaha Man This country Is all right just
is it K Omaha folks have nothing to com-pL-un
of.
Detroit Man Oh, well, Omaha is very
primitive, you r.cust rememlier. In place
like Detroit, where people keep up with the
ige, we fl:td that the laws which did well
uioagh in the old days are all wrong now..
We need new ones.
"Can't imogino what."
"Well, for one thing, we want the chnrcbew,
cbargo fifty cent udmission on Sundays."
"Eh I Why!" ,
"Their free blowouts Interfere too much
with the ball games." Omaha VTorld.
A Ibid Spelt
A few months ago an old gentleman was
een nailing a notice on a f.-uce ou the south
ildo of Amtiu avenue. A friend passing,,
laid:
"Why don't you have the notice put In tho.
laily paier, w here people can read itf"
"Waal," said the oid gentleman, "if I took
It to the m "slianer oflice tliem nawstmner rol
lers would ret it spelled wrong, and then, J
Kimebody would think I didut huvs uoedJl-
tation."
The notica read: "Howm fur rent Ineboir
m preymesis." Texas Biftlngs.
looking for Work.
"What did you toll that lady!" said one.
tramp to anot her.
"Told her I was lookin' fur wort, and it.
was the truth, to." tr
"What'er ya giWn me? You lookin fur
work I"
"Yes; ao's I k'n keep out of its way."
Washington Critic.
t
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