V
VOL. II.
IIEJiPIi, UMATILLA COUNTY, ORfiGpx, THURSDAY, JUNE 5, 1881.
NO. (B.
8ms cat est c
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9
THE GAZETTE
IB ISrM) ItWY THTBHDAY AFTEHNOON, Bt
J. W. KEDINOTON,
At 2.!iM nor ve:ir. 1 .511 for six months, l fo
three month, it is nn Independent lsieal Paia-r.
owning ils own soul, paying Hit cents on tin dol-
i:T, it mn as a IffKttuniiK iiuaines enterprise, aim
lint as n charity shop or b'iw'mtt institution. It
will wwar the collar of noclutuo, partyor ruction.
Imt will work for the lies! intim-sl-i of the peplco.
SOCIETY
DIRECTORY.
DOMIC LODGE, Jo. 20.
KXIGIITS of PYTHIAS,
Meets mrr Tuesday evonint:, Bt 7:30
o'clock, In Ottlo Hall. Mam St., llepo
lior. All brotiiem in ,:o 1 stnnd-nit will receive a
KnilhtK welcome. I. L. t'MSt, t. I .
T.' 10. K. of P. and K.
.-pgSfc-fc, WILLOW LOW No. !,
- y. 5; t. '; '
Meets Wedms-day evsuiiiK in Odd Fellows' Hall.
Members of Ihu Order are cordially iiiviihI to at
tend. W. A. KlllK, N. it.
(.'. W. YoUNonuo, Hoc. Hcu.
HE1TNEK LOPGK, NO. (',, (D-
A F. i. A jV.,
Went, at Masonic Hall. Leezer Buililinis. on the
liritand U.ud Saturdays of each, month, at I
jtl. K. ti. Bloa.n, . M.
iD It. Dianop, Hue.
HKl'l'NEK L(MXiK, No. W,
I. U. of G. T.,
W-flu every Friday eycnitiK at HP.JV, in Odd
Follows' Hall. A. M. (iu.NN, W. C. T.
PROFESSIONAL.
L. W. DAIILIXO,
Justice and Notary l'liblic,
IOSB Itut'K, Vt'AHt'O CoT-XTY, OllECON.
LAND FlLl9i, FINAL PROOF
Etc., n Specialty.
c
(!,!. KCTIONH Mndu, and UcmN and othur
l.ttlial litHti'uim'uls diawtt.
l.t."-tt
GEO. W. WIUGHT,
ATrOUN K V-AT-L.'i W AM) XOTAHV JTI1L1C,
W'IUj pnirtico in hHtutf and FrfU'ral
? 'oriH. Proof of iWmm tnkon. Tit lit t
J .Hi id ilivt-nt Hen nUi)t huwitKWM uttemleI
tn. ('nlln't.in75 unl cn,vt'yfimHiiK wtfi-ly nu.de at
MMtatih- ruttw. All humju'H! fiitruistcu in nif
i n reive nrniiH.t alttuitinii. Oilire un Main
ulreet, lUpimer, Oickoii. llMf
JULIUS KEIT1ILEY,
, Justice of the Peace,
Ilepjuirr, - - Oregon.
OFFICE in the old Frank
Mjiin atreet. (
Mnddock atore.
. G. W. COUXETT'S
Heppnei' Uarbei- .Shop!
In tlm
ma
Hitiloek Htiihlinrj, opposi
Jewelry Store,
Ik now tnrnitift oat Hhavci, Hlminimoa and Hnir-
cn9 in the hiKhcyt Mtyle l the art.
w.
WILLIAMS,
lloase Paiiild? Taper
TYKUYTHINd in tho
iifr and
(il'lliilir
Oregon.
J J noidiiHrtH iiud diBimtoli,
o J-i c
ami Satisfaction
a
WAUKEN CLARIC,
Contractor and Builder,'
Hkppmu!, - - - - Okeuon.
Cnnntr? Work n Hpeciully. If J want nny
thu.i! built, oblnin inj prico 'before uoingr elsi
where. .
MISCELLANEOUS.
Castle RoSk Ferry!
CaJe Bock, Ornjon.
The nmlersitrncd hvs'm lensed tliia Popular Fer
fyi'w 5225aai for a terra of years, and huvini; put on
NEW BOATS,
And Kventhirg Htrictty Fimt-Clasi. wotilil in-
forni tlie TraveliiiKFublic that we are
Now lVparcd to Cross Teams and Slock
AT THE C1IKAPKST ItATl.S.
No Dolnyeon Account of Wind.
No l)r.t.AT Fob Want of Wind.
'hie Ferry Connects Direct with
Yakima City, BiiMloo, Cleveland and Golileodale,
Also the Nearest and most Uirecmllouto to
the Immense Htin'k ItanKiof VSashinn
lon Territory, thimsand" of acres of
q which are still viwant.
Ueliable and Fiperienred nW in "harpe of the
a Wsl, and every attention paid to onr
fustoiner..
IUhivbki No Dh.at Waitiso tob Winds.
tllVK DS A TltlAI
JOHN LAND1S.
,vi w JACOB LAN1XIS.
M. LICHTENTHAL,
Boot and Shoe Shop,
Main SI., Hcimcr, Ornjoii.
Hoots and Shoes Made to
Order.
.Vwiii-iiit; AVort; Executed.
Satisfaction Guaranty
KSTKAY NOTlt'K.
Taken np by the nndersii.-iel. living eiirht
mill's above Ileppner, on Willow creek, one
black noire, four or hve years old. alsait fifteen
len ds hinb. no marks or brai'ds perceivable. Ap
praised at $.V by Julius heithlev. Jit-dire of the
1'i-aee. rii is. May S lf-f-t. A. U. I'iaikksih.
NOTICE OF INTENTION.
IjinilOtKi-eat The lVdles. Or., April 2S. .
V..,,. hereby .oven that the followinK-nanled
wilier has tiled notice of his intention to mab
hnal proof in supis.rt of his claim and that Jif
on of will l made before J. . li.slini.Mon. No
tar; iH Hepi'iier. Or.-i.im, on June ai, lt4. !
John I Torn fin i iff,
Vr Mmptin N-l' for the SW l Sis-. '-;. T J
S lt "t,K W M. He name the followi wit-,u-swto'prov.lBl'i
continuous n-suleiuw nin
mid cultivHtion of, sai-C -oufvit.; Thcslore lei.
of Ileppner. Umatilla county. Orwi: Ij-m-Hams.
A. J. t'len-. .laisib Job-.ieon, of hu-'ht Mile,
VuiRiilia !riuilT. OruKon. ,. . .
,VJ K- STTH. Ketrtster.
1011 VHINTINO OK KVKKY PFSt RllTIttN
tl etecu'e.1 with neatness and dispatch at the
dinette ofrioe. Onh-rs from a d. stance promptly
aitcndiil ljmd tilmK done fret-.
HALL & JONES,
PUOPRIETORS OF
Belvedere Saloon,
KtM-p the
V cry Best of Whiskeys,
Also the following Celebrated Drinks:
Kirch Wasser.
Marsschinodel,
Corcenigal,
Chartreuse,
Finest Brands of Cigars Kejit.
FINK New Hillnrd Table for the Ammo,
nicnt of (iiH'KtM.
A
GEO. W. LORD,
C A R PENT E R
AND O
WAG OX SfftEIl.
(Next door to Wrinht 4 Aycrs' L.'iW Ottice),
Ht'jtjmer, - - Off
Ctintrncts tu!ccn for all Kinds ot Wood
O Work.
A full Supply of Hard. Wood tor W'sjfon
Kt'painnc; Ctmatantly on irISil.
rRw Beams and Handles kept in Slock.
OH'E MK A CALL.
ls.-
1S84.
KOSIILANI) BROS.,
AYX ) O j
Commission Merchants
rnopniRTtms
PIONEER AVOOL DErOT,
rilKTLANn, - - - - OlIKOON.
K)SHiNMK OF WOOL SOLICITED
V ' liberal advalrrca made. Our bunt attention
Kunmiiteed to eftnet rapid Hale and realizing the
proper values of rlipn. Wool stored for ownerH;
warehouwe ceitificale iHHUed neyot iidile at hank,
or loaiiKeUeetbd if desired. Wool bas and twine
for sale, and agents for "Patent Sheep llrund
ilijr Oil." Use it in preference to all other sub
stances. It is cheaper, and don't injure your
wool. Kept by all nii'reliauts.
Khippintf Mark:
K. lutoa,, az
1'.
O. O. ROWLAND,
NOTARY PUBLIC,
-ANr-
SUUV'EYOlt,
I'hfb-iUe, Waxeo Co&li, Ornjon.
Q
nm rrejiared to do nyibing in Hie
Line of
SURVEYING, CIVIL ENGINEERING,
LAND FILING. FINAL
PROOF, ETC.
I am nlsn rrepnred to Locate Govern
ment' Land.
Farties desirous of Locating in Wasco
County will do well by calling on
' or addressing me.
O. 0. ROWLAND,
Flettville,
r)S Wasco Co., Or.
-
J. W. RE1JINGTON,
Notary Public and Land Agent,
Cluzettr Offiee,
Corner Yellowstone Avenuend Main
Street, Ileppner, Ogn.
Land-Filing and Proring-Vi Free of
Charge.
I
""IltF. Insurance effected in Ueliable Com
panies. Deeds and .MortKnt'es urawn up.
and a (
po-fition to the other fettifojin liHiidnharkH.
end Pott if.
HustiiPHH done in op-
Echo Land
Office!
CRAYNE & TOMtSSXS.
Ilavinu niicned a Ijtnd Orlice at Kchn, we are
prewired to tlo any kind of Land Musi
liess, and thus save you a trip to
Pendleton or Ija (Irnnde.
r,ail Bought and Sold.
THE BOSS !
The'Kicker" Cigar!
SOLD BY
W1LZ1NSKI LROS. & CO.,
Portland.
HORSE SALE!9
I w ill sell at rublic Auction in Ileppner,
Saturday, June 7, '84,
Iwno'CLOCK, A. M.,
30
1 1 ead of o H orses !
Comprising Bnxid Mares, Geldings
nnd Colts none of which are
over 6 years old. and nil
of which are
CJood American Stock.
Tkrms of Saw 12 niontlis on ai
pnived Rtvurity, with IrKal intert!.
Ten jh-x cent, discount for cash.
M-M J- W1LLINC.1IAM.
HORO.
Oregon,
DEALER IN
Wiitohes, Clocks, Jewelry
Amethgsf, Cameo and Diamond
Gold Riiujz, Gold and Silrer
Q If tOtd o.
P
ncr i
articles nsnally kept in a .
elry Store.
HEPAIEIXG A SPECIALTY.
CTOKK with C. M. llnllory, f- Street. All
k7 work guarantetKl,
vlnl-tf.
ED. RIOHAUDIM1N. B. r. PATTOX.
RICHARDSON & PA1TON,
The Boss Barbers,
Next door to Swugnart'a Saloon,
Ileppuer, .... Oregon.
OIIAMPOOIXG nnd Tyfin a Spocwlty. Sntis
O faction (iuarantet-d.
WM. ESTES,
NeM' IJlaekn-LPi Shop,
Main Street, Ilemner.
(Opposite W. J. Loezor's Hardware Store.)
I am now prepared to do all kinds of
work my line
Qt REASONABLE RATES.
Horao-Slioeing and Plow-Work a Spe
cialty. A IX WORK GUARANTEED.
O
City Meat Market
Win. J. McAieCftProprieior,
'Aeppnrr, Oregon.
Reef, Pork anil Mutton atHteammablt'
Ra ten.
CITY HOTEL,
Ilejipner, ffregon,
E. MINOR, ritoI'IUETOK.
:o;-
Commerced Travelers will Understand
that this is the
o
ONLY HOUSE
That Fuhnishes Sample Room9.
rr.", r iT
L til AUUiN UlAKl'd
To Get Your "Wagons Hatt'lieJ.
Bring Your Purses along with you,
and don't you forget it.
v
JOHN JENKINS,
STOE MASON,
1 5 1 ICK L AY Kit
AMD
General Contractor,
Ileppner, Oregon.
HOUSE jrONQ and EXCAVATING
Done, and All Onlers Promptly Kjtecuted.
Leave Orders with T. E. Fell, at J. L.
ret ilorrow & Son's Store.
EST RAY NOTICK. -
Takenip by the uinlersiirTiiil. livieR eif.-lit
miles above Ileppner. on Willow creek, one bay
horse, six or seven years old, alsnit fifteen and a
half hands hih, some w..ite on left hind fisit,
branded AI on riirht thiiih. Appraised at r'nti by
Julius Kelthley, justice of the I'eace, this. May
ls4. Li. A. fLOHKNCK.
BIU1S
All kinds of
ROl'CiUOand DRESSED IX
0 BER, SHINGLES, ETC.,
kej-t constantly on hand.
O
We have recently received a large
and complete stock of
FIRST - CLASS L UM B E E,
SIIIXGLES, CIAsRto
Q J. (Mlo, iiiL .,
Which we will sell at lowest pos
sible figures.
Give us a call.
DANIELS .t HER REN,
Ciibtle Rock.
PKTKIt O.
IlEPrXER,
Ot"
Castle Uo3v Lumber Cor
I.AHBST PLAY.
i!ny, ye thnt know, ye viio have felt and seen
ijprinn's moruiiiK snijes, and soul-enliveninK
ureen i
Say. did you uive tlie tlfc'linir transport way,
Did your eye brighten. hen young lamlwat play
ljeaied o er your path iitli animated pridi
Or gazed in merry cIumtn by your side?
Ye who can smile to Tfsdon. disgrace
At the arch moaning ufa kitten's face;
If sisit'.ess innocence a d infant mirth
Eioitos to praise, or give reflection birth:
In ehades like those pnnie your favorite joy.
Midst nature's revels. Blurts that never cloy.
A few hegin a short but jgorous mie.
And indolence, abasheoUoon fti,w the place;
Tims challe'Vited forth, i. thither, one if one,
From every side assem I ,) nR pl.lvnlBtw, mn.
A thousand wily antics fi,lr tjlt,jr Ktay
i carting cmwd, imp ' , ,,f j....,.
Away tlipy ncmr, imtnonn, aidMnt, (tmn,
The fjrwn turf trimHinBRt tin1) bound hIouk
Adown the slope, tJcn up the climb,
Where every molehill id a bed oTtiiynie,
Then. iHUitinie, wop; yet scarcely win refrain
A bird, a leaf, vill net them off again;
r, if a gale wlh dtrenptli uuumial blow,
ScatteriiiK th wild-brier rom into Hnow,
Their little L'tiibs iucreawiiR effort try;
Like the torn flower, the fair anHemblrtge fly.
Ah, fallenrone! ad emblem of their doom;
Frail as tiyelf, they penah while they blMm!
(3)
0
8
JREAC1I!g AS A VICE.
Pimticc JIuIford IMsreurses about a Dw
apeenble Habit.
It poems' to me rfitl when I sny
it "seems" to me, I tlonot mean
through implication to say it CifS't
bso ta seem to anybody else, for 1
uuii i get, niHitie 01 any oiner per
son's mind, and so I know nothing
of the light in which that other
person mayre thingsthat there
has beeiv antl is now too much
preaching in thevorld. I do not
mean altogether preaching from
the pulpit; I mean the perpetual
condemnation of faults in others
by those of us wlio have faults our-
selves, be it condemnation whole
sale or 1'otiiil, from pulpit or press,
by parent to child, 9y husband to
wife, baiiybody to anybody else.
I do not want? my limits nwJmisJ
i , 1,1, . i
takes perpetually advertised to me
by others. I have them lots of
them, f know them, know them
better than anybody else. -I know
ivliere (they bite nwjjinw tliry sting.
I can show scars nil over me wiere
in the past they have stung rind
bjjWen. They are not pleasant sub
jects for contemplation. If a man
tears his pantalooi at a ball, does
he want the master of ceremonies
to advertise the fact publicly ? Yet
when a person's moral pantaloons
are torn, how eager I may be to
inform him and everybody else of
the fact, when he iij,perhaps do
his best to eseaiio observation and
repair daniges. If it be the left
leg of fliose moral pantaloons that
is ripped and he is trying o keep
his wlftle and virtuous right leg
ami best foot foremost, dfil assist
him and endeavor to lessen his
isioifnv iWMisaultg nlul the
tluSk. unfortunate left leg and be-
stowing on the right all he admira
tion and commendation that belong
to W.
"Let folks alone," says my in
ward monitor. "If you've got noth
ing but admonitgi words to give
them, clear out and give them to
yourself. Don't bother yourself
with doses of moral medicine for
others. l9n't imagine you can
'make anybody better by scolding
tligju. If you've got any extra sun
shine, give it to them. If you see
in them anything honestly to ad
mire, admit it and tell them of it.
if you can maksmni ad mire w hat
is in themselves worthy of admira
tion, then, perhajm, they'll see
clearer in them what you may not
admire. Or they may have the
right and think it best?uid feel
best to have, hold and keep what
you don't admire, and if they
should, is it vour business to try
and make the in over to siu9you?"
I find it very difficult to "act up to
this. Do what I will, the "preach"
w ill leak out somowhere, it has
such subtle and tis'Stg.ffil, iiW
lfrtraying me. el n,,d myself near
people who I tliink are making
great mistakes. I want to turn
them from the error of their ways.
I feelOliot I am a missionary sent
to reform them. I wait and at last
cautiously open some delicate, mod
est little battery of suggestion,
commencing with a "If you will
allow me to suggest, I think it
would be better if you would," or,
"I think your troubles in the past
have come largely through your,"
etc. When lo! all at once I find
my pulpit knocked from under me
and myself flying in the air. I
find that I'm the one needing the
sermon and that I've got it, and
that in my clumsy efforts to cure
I've been -clawing round with med
dlesome fingers on the tentlerest,
rawest sore of all, which may have
tortured these people all their lives,
which they are doing their best to
cure and which of all things they
want by others to be let alone.
The "authors of my being" (a
work of which neither of them was
proud and never desired a second
i. niir-n n'1 scoUleLme
a great deal in my youth. Cer-'
tainly it made me seem to do bet
ter, because I took then good care
not to commit the reprehended
faults in their sight. I was scold
ed for staying out late of nights;
so I stayed: home and got out of
the bedroin window after the fami
ly had 'tired. I was scolded for
playing cards in the house; I re
tired with my gang to the barn and
played cards in the recesses of the
hay-movQ I was scowled for keep
ing company with certainobjec
tionable persons; I was seen no
more with them in public and took
double doses of them in private. I
was reproved for smoking; I re
formed and smoked the more out
of sight. So, for whatever re
proved I becaije instantly right
eous externally and inwardly more
iniquitous. I was reformed rough
an eternal scolding intifa "whited
sepulcher," and I maybe a "whited
sepulcher" yet. It takes a long
time and a greaLdeal of hard work
to clean one ot these deadhouses.
I burn my fingers and singe my
wings many times because the
flame is alluring. I continue to
rs'.OT-f1ttrOT me to stt).
rm going in for the fun of tlft mo
ment," and so in I go and yit I
come with He same old scorch, the
same old blister, and-with the same
oki miHerable stool of repentance
in my hand. I go dow n to the foot
of the class to sit there in self
abasement until gradually I can
work rry wny up to the hor.u to
fall again.
Myfriend of 4o years, my old,
respected, middle-aged moth, whose
wings are scarred th many a
lurn, is it even so with you? Do
you still buzz about the same sort
of candle asOiverPas ever? My
brother gambler ji genus pokerta,
myflearold bottle-fly, who knows
what good whisky is tut will drink
juiyi CI niuu XI. tvi m XAT 111 1" 'i
rily absent; my sister mosijuito,
whose gossipy stinger is abroad
day and night, don't we allniow
various kinds of
of caudles we hover about pretty
well by this time, and have we not
tormenting little reminders of them
in some shape outside or inside of
us; and do we need any nice young
man of 25 years, recently gradu
ated from a theological seminary,
to stand uj m a pulpit and tell us
we should not eonPuit them? i
Haven't we aright to all our sins
and mistakes until we find they
don't pay? Haven't we a right to
the candles we so oft are biPned
in? Are theygffloiours, just as
much as our (wti neaWJid given
us for experience, for admonition,
for reproof, for things to burn us
and bite us, and sting us like ad
ders, untifc wt? get souse enough
knocked into our poor benumbed
brains to steer clear of them, or
use them rightly, or stop when
we-ve cot enough.' Candles are
good things0vhen rigWy used
very pleasant and cheerful things
but there's no sense initting
down on one or holding the flame
so near our eyes as to duzzle and
sincrfi off the eye-lashes.
TJut I am verging on the preach
again.
rilENTIC'E Ml'LFOHD.
A certain poetess is said to make
good jellies as well as gaxl poetry.
It is suggested that she al make
a new departure Bend her jellies
to newspaper offices and can her
poems. Jellies discount poetryus
"iusidernatter" every time.
Thi ia the harmv time of year
when man getteth ution a step - bul
der to hang a picture, and the sti-
ladder kieketh np oeliinu ana
standeth him upon his ear, and
falleth over upon hiui, and filleth
him with much woe. oo ooo
FIVE OBED1EST JIUSBAXDS.
There were five of them together,
and it was late. They had been
drinking. Finally one of them
looked at the clock, and said:
"What will our wives say when
we come home?"
"Let them say what they want to.
yiine will tell me to go to the mis
chief," respondedjNo. 2.
"I'll tell you what we will do.
Let us meet hero again in the
morning, and tell our experiences.
Let the one who has refused to do
'Wilftt his wile Uld Lhn t do nvlurn
he got home pay for this evening's
entertainment."
"That is a good idea. We will
agree to that." So the party broke
53 and went to their respective
homes.
Next morning they met at the
appointed place, and began to tell
their experiences.
Said No. 1: "When I opened
the door my wife was awake. She
said: '.pretty time of night for
you to be coming home. You had
better go out and sleep in the pig
pen, for that's what you will come
to sooner or later, anyhow.' RaSi
er than pay for all we had drank
last night, I did what she told me
to. Thnt lets me out"
No. 2 cleared his throat and said:
"Yhen 1'ot home I stumbled on
a chair, ami my wife called : 'There
you are again, you drunken brute!
You had letter wake up the chil
dren and stagger abmt for a while,
so they can see hat a drunken
brute of a father tney are afflicted
with.' I thought the best thing I
could do under the circumstances
was to obey; so I woke up the
children and staggered around un
She used a chair m conveying the
hint. That lets me out."
No. 3 spoke up and saidj "I hap
pened to r.uinJila over the, pun of
dough, and my wife said: 'DnffJk
again ! Hadn't yon better sit down
in that dough?' So I ot dowinin
it, and that lets me out. '
a io. -a snui: i was Humming a
tune, and my vflfe called out: 'There
you are again! Hadn't you better
give us a concert?' liaid, 'Cer
tainly,' and began to sing asoml
as I ctld, lrrU she tohPme to stop
r she would thr$v something at
me; so I stopped. That lets me
out."
No. 5 looked very disconsolate.
,He said: "I reckon I'll have to
pay. My wife told me to do some
thing none of you would have done
if you had been in my place."
"What was it?"
"She said: 'So you thought vou
would come home at last! Now,
you better go out to the well
and drink a couple of buckets of
water, just to astonish your stom
ach?' That was more than I had
bargainjl for; so it's my funeral."
TOOK THE JOKE.
Practical jokers despise "a man
who can't take a practical joke."
One unexpectedly drew a chair
from under Brown, the other day.
Brown cot up very wSiful. He
was about to assault the joker,
when the latter cried: "I thought
you were a different sort of a man;
I thought you could take a joke.'
Then Brown quieted down. He
said h could. He went out and
returned with a pail of horribly
tlirtv water and a horsewhip. He
Called the water all over tile joker,
and then proceeded to lash him.
The joker howled, shrieked and
protested, but Brown said it was
"only a joke," and then he threw a
small table aftlie joker, and lashed
him a little time longer. And the
crowd hurrahed and yelled at the
joker not to get excited, as it Was
n nipnn man who couldn't take a
l.it-f flo iil.-nr And
through the window, while the by
standers cheered Brown, the man
who co01 both give and take a
joke. O
0"Well, Mildred," said Amy to
the high school girl, "you held your
end up successfully at the leap
- f5 ear party last night" "Held my
d uu!" exclaimed the high schoo!
girl; "yon mean that I sustained
my extremity at a conspicuous elevation."
HE DIDX'T SCARE.
A party of young bloods in Ja
maica, X. 1T., concluded to have
some fun with a countryman who
was tramping about town looking
for a job. They hired him to act
as private watchman on a dark
street, promising to give him S30
for the first month and then in
crease his salary if he proved effi
cient. The first night nothing
special happened, but the next
night he was met by a rough-looking
customer who threatened to
smnfhid jaw if he A1.i1,vtjt1i '
trolling that beat. In about one
minute the ctntyapijnmojrw
ping up the muddy street with the
ill-mannered aristocrat. After let
ting up on him he discovered he
was one of the parties who had
employed him. A little later a
ghostly figure made its appearance,
but it wasn't long until this ghost,
minus the wind4ig-diet, went fly
ing across an openTot, bearing a
black eye and a broken nose. The
next day it waf discovered that it
was another member of the gang
who hired the man to have fun
.h. He refused to auit his iol
untifethe month was up, sued them
for his wages, got his pay wjk
and is now a member of the police
force.
A STROXO OXE.
The spring crop of fish stories
for 188i-is now hatching. Here is
one: In Scotland they have a curi-
ous why of fishing that takes the
medal for the ease with vliich it is
conducted. The fisherman we will
say is after pike. Selecting a big
goose from his barnyard, or half a
dozen geese, as the case may be,
he tiest baiteiohook and line about
five feet long to their feet, and on
reaching the water turns them in.
The bitdofcourse swim out, and
tho fislierVnurri?l!l5jb bis pipe nrul
ftits flown.' In it t&v minutes a fish
sees the bait and seizes it, giving
the goosa a good pull. The biid
starts for shore at full tilt, fright
ened half to death, dragging the
nsii upon the Dank, when it is un-
hooked. The line being rebaited,
the feathered fisherman is again
sent out to try its luck. A flock of
goose can make quite a haul the
course of a day, the liumafisher-O
man haRftg only Jrfve the
game andTait the hooks, the pull
ing in and hooking being done by
the birds.
HiT JIMS
-
IIUXGHY.
uenerai rorrost was once ap-
ST IT. B
proached by an Arkansas man, who
asked :
"General, when do you reckon
we're going to get something to
eat?"
Qxit!" exclaimed the general;
"did you join the army merely to
get something to eat?"
"Wall, that's abfffit the size of it"
"Here," calling an officer, "give
this man something to eat, and then
have him shot"
The officer understood theoke,
right, general."
The Aransas man, exhibiting
no alarm, said: "Bile me ajian,
cap'n, stew up a oouple o' chicfcfvns,
bake two or three hoecakes, fetch a
gallon or so o' buttermilk, and lontl
yer guns. With sich inducements,
the man who wouldn't be wilhn' to
die is a blame fool."
A hearty meal was prepared for
the soldier, but he still lives.
A little girl went away with her
mother for a week's visit in theg
country. Wlwci they returned sho
looked up anil down the streets and
at the houses, and said: "Why,
the town ain't red, is it?" "Of
course not, Fannie. Why do you
ask that question?" "Because,
mamma, just before we started
iftvay I heard papa tell Mr. Tomp
kins that he was going to paint the
town red while we were in the
coumry. I guess he must have
been busy and didn't have time to
do it Don't you suppose so, mam
ma?" "Yes, dear-1 do." Then
there was a large silence.
Ei tearing dtwn a house 150
years old, in Rhode Island, lately,
the workmen found aolot of leaf to
bacco and 100 old-f i" fffoiied cigars.
This would seem to indicate that
atone time cigars were made of
tobacco.
ed
e? ' e cssats
e
i-